[♪] Morning, Boss. [♪] [Bowling sounds] [Woman's throat clears 3 times.] Nice of you to join us. I hope we're not interrupting anything. I don't know. He looked pretty busy
playing with his toys, Cheryl. Maybe we should come back later. What size? Seven and a half. Six. I'm sorry, but those shoes
absolutely do not look clean. I smell athlete's foot. Can you actually smell athlete's foot? I don't know. Maybe.
I think so. But they're disgusting;
that's my point. Yes, absolutely. Alley two. [♪] Can
you believe this? No, this is ridiculous. I'm calling the manager to complain. Well, I thought he was the manager. What? He can't be
the manager, can he? Did you get his name? [Cell phone ringing.] 9-1-1, what's your emergency? Hey. Yeah. Alright, big whoop. Ah, yeah, I guess so... what? Keep talking... Lavender? Are you sure? Holy mackerel! [Record scratch] NARRATOR: Alright, folks.
Hold on a second. NARRATOR: Before Nelson gets
too carried away, let's take a
step back. NARRATOR: As a matter o
f fact,
there's somebody else you
gotta meet. NARRATOR: He's gonna be
important to the story in
a little while. NARRATOR: This is last night...
On the other side of town. Wally, come on. Since when do you get a day off? Seven days, Wally. Seven days... You know I don't stop... Besides, what am I suppsed
to do on Sundays? Hire another assistant, Wally? Yeah... Oh, come on... listen...
No, listen... Hercules Junior's birthday is
right around the corner,
and I... No, I don't know the exact date...
I know it's this time of year... Check with my wife, for Pete's sake! Look, anyways, I wanna do
something extra... Special for him this year. Something that'll knock his
little socks off. Yeah, you know what I mean.
A big party, a huge bash... With an amazing gift... Don't let me down!
Don't let me down! Oh my god, Hercules... I love parties... Am I invited? Eh... Yeah, well, uh... I don't think that'll go over
well with my wife,
Morgan Darling... Look, I tell you what, Baby... We'll throw a big
party,
an extravaganza... Just a real classy event. Just for you... And some of those cute friends of yours... NARRATOR: Okay... I think
you get the picture. NARRATOR: That's Hercules
McNally. NARRATOR: Now back to this
morning at the bowling alley... Holy mackerel... [Heavy breathing] And she's certified? Dam! On the river! Who else knows about this? Okay... You keep it that way... And you get your buttocks over here! Right now! Use the back door! No! Pronto! [Deep breathing] Okay...
Okay... C
alm down, Nelson.
Calm down... Okay, you can handle this... Just think...
Just gimme a second to think! Time to assemble the team! [♪] [♪] [A man grunting in pain] Ah! Alright! Alright! Do you submit, Moonblade? Yes, yes! I submit! [♪] [Deep breath] [♪] [♪] [Buzzing sound of phone] [♪] [♪] Boo! [Woman laughing] Mom, what are you doing? Oh, relax, Mikey. What the heck are you doing
up before noon anyway? You're lucky I didn't gouge
your eyes out or something! [Woman laughs] [♪] Mikey. Mikey! [Ska
teboard crashing] Did you forget something? Never do nothing... [♪] Thanks. Be safe out there, Honey! Ugh! [Deep breath] Sasquatch versus yeti versus werewolf... I feel like we've done
this three-way before... Oh, we have... It's worthy of further analysis though. You imploded last time. True. Alright, let me talk this through. The werewolf is clearly the smallest. But he's also the fastest and most agile. And definitely the most ferocious. Mmm. The other two are pretty smart, and... Strong as h
eck, but... The werewolf can really only
be stopped with a sliver bullet, which is a pretty problem
for the other two. Elaborate. Well... The werewolf is probably the only
one who has Internet access. The knowledge of the sasquatch and the yeti
comes from their observations... And maybe some random books
they find at campsites. Since werewolves come from
Europe, and the yeti comes
from Asia, There's a much better chance
of the yeti knowing about the
silver bullet than the sasquatch given that th
e sasquatch
comes from North America. Don't get me wrong... That doesn't mean that the
yeti could actually
get the silver bullet... Mmm... And if not, he's probably screwed. Bottom line? Werewolf... hands down. [♪] How's the chili, Dude? It's about an eight alarm. Gimme your analysis on this one... Gnomes versus dwarves. Dang! Now that's
a competition. Nice one! Oh yeah. A gnome is like the size of a Norway rat. You mean like a super rat! Yeah, same thing! They're technically called Norway rats.
.. They get to be like sixteen inches long... Ahh, best way to catch 'em
is with skinless hot dogs
and gumdrops.. But it's a little-known fact... That gnomes are super-ferocious
when backed into a corner! Like tiny wild dogs. Do you mean like jackals or dingos? Probably more like jackals... Cuz they're not the same, you know... No crap, Man! Don't you think I know that? I know freaking wild dogs! Don't get me started! Stss... [Two cell phones buzzing] Let's finish this discussion en route! [♪] Y
ou secured? Check.
Punch it. [♪] Now... Were those raw
hot dogs or cooked? Come on... definitely raw! [♪] Is it chilled? No. No then. [♪] Okay, Sir.
Please follow me. [♪] [Knocking on door] Come in. Mr. Reynolds... This is Paul Herman. Thank you, Jane. Pleased to meet you, Paul. It's actually Herman. Oh, you prefer to be called
Mr. Herman? No, it's Mr. Paul.
But Herman's fine. You don't need the mister. Okay... Herman. Have a seat. Oh, Herman... Can I offer you some coffee
or a bottle of water?
No thanks. I'm all set. Whadda you got there? Milk? Breast milk, yes. What? Breast milk? Yes. From a woman? Of course. Well, from various women online. It's recommended for extra energy
and nutrients after workouts. I don't believe in steroids
or supplements. I want the natural stuff that's God-given. You can't go wrong with that. [♪] Oh, Herman, I see here
that you've got both your bachelor's degree and your
master's degree in history... Yes, that's right. And I also see that most of your
previ
ous work experience... Well I guess I should say All of your previous work experience is in the fast food industry. Yes, that's correct. So... Why do you want to enter
the private security industry? Sell me. Sell you? Yeah, convince me that this
is the perfect job for you and that we'd be foolish
to go on without you. This is definitely the job for me. Security's the wave of the future. Herman, do you have any idea
how demanding the private
secutiy field is? Yes, definitely.
I definitely know th
at. Oh, Herman, I see here that
you speak several languages. Yes, I do. Well, that's pretty impressive. You know, communication is one
of the most important aspects of the private security field. We're always running into sticky situations where people
don't understand English. Ah, a few of my guys speak Spanish, but that's about it. You know, your... Your language skills... May actually make up for some of the other areas where you
haven't developed yet. Say something to me in another language.
Okay. [♪] Ichutsus agustqua tador
tutayu jusquador tutayee. [♪] It's Tutanese. Tutaneez? Is that from Egypt or something? No, it's actually from
the United States... Down south... It's a secret language based
on traditional English. Vowels are pronounced normally,
but each consonant is replaced with a special syllable. As a matter of fact,
I'm fluent in two dialects, which is not as common as you might think. I teach an advanced course online, and I have a YouTube series for beginners with appr
oximately 55 subscribers. I can give you the URLs when
we're done, if you want. Okay... What about the other languages? Well, I'm fluent in Izzle, Pig Latin, four versions of gibberish, and I can read regular Latin too. Okay... So... No regular, current, non-secret languages? English. [Duack quacking sound] [♪] Sorry, Mr. Reynolds,
but I must go. Okay... Whatever you have to do, Herman. I will try to come back again tomorrow. Oh, no no no no no... I mean... Don't go through the trouble. We have
all your information here. It's gonna take a while
to go through everything. Jane will contact you... Eventually. Okay. Thank you, Mr. Reynolds. Oh, oh... by the way... What was it that you said... In Tutanese? It's a good day to die. [♪] You're right... This is refreshing. [♪] [Air horn sound] [♪] Altight, Team... It's time for business. I'm sure you're wondering
why I assembled you all. Obviously this meeting wasn't
on the schedule, but when you hear what I
learned just 2 short hours ago You w
ill understand the urgency. Okay, this is big! Are you talking Great Dane big? Or African elephant big? I'm talking big daddy, king-of-the-pod, blue-freaking whale big! Colossal! But! It's highly sensitive, top-secret... It' for your ears only, okay? So don't post it, text it,
tweet it, mail it, or speak it outside of this room! If this is such high a high-
clearance intel, shouldn't we be discussing
this somewhere more secluded? Yeah, someone could walk in at any moment. Shall I take a squad an
d
clear the perimeter? [♪] Feast your eyes on this, Man-Boy. Whoa, Dude, Is that the 1982 edition? Dang right it is. Specialist set for character
levels 3 through 13. Are you serious? Hope to die. It's classic! It's in pristine mint condition too. Yeah, well, it's actually
not the originally copy But! It's an exact repro. Don't get your greasy prints all over it. Epic... We can do some supreme damage with this. [Sci-fi electronic sound] Dude, you got mail. No... It's Nighstar. What? Nighstar...
Why's she texting you? [Strained laugh] Wait... Don't even tell me... Robert... Is Nightstar joining our adventure? Ah... Yes... And she's right around the corner. What the h?
Come on, Man! That is such bullcrap! Wht would you do that? I didn't... Really... She pretty much... invited herself... But! You have to admit... She's like the most hardcore
player around. Yeah. She'll totally make it interesting. She's hardcore alright. I just got the feeling in my neck
from the last time she played with
us. [Sci-fi electronic sound] I think she's here. [♪] [Deep breathing] Oh crap. Remember... She can smell fear. Oh crap... So try to look tough. [Deep breathing] [♪] Greetings, Nightstar. Good day, Black Wolf. Greetings, Voldax! Greetings, Nightstar. [♪] [Laughing] You feel strong, like a true
warrior, Black Wolf. I'm impressed. Thank you, Nightstar. You make me proud. Ugh! You're soft! Like a wilted daisy! Ah! How do you expect to draw
blood from a dragon, Voldax... If you can't even exchange
a
warrior's greeting honorably? Remember, Nighstar! Voldax has a lot to learn... But he's a thief in training... And he can serve us well on our quest. I suppose so... But a little fortitude goes a long way! Well, anyway... I look forward to the day's adventure. Our strength is magnified greatly
by your presence, Nightstar. I brought donut holes. Mmm. Hey, Robert,
do you have any... I mean... Black Wolf! Do you have any of those energy drinks? This is gonna be a while. No. I came prepared to que
nch our thirst for the day's long battles. What's that? Wow... that's so cool... That, my friends, is the vile blood of an orc infantry soldier... Slain by my hand in the surrounding hills a mere hour before my arrival! That's so cool! Yeah... Don't actually drink it, though... My dad got it at a flea market and I'm not sure how long it's good for. [Flesh stabbing sound] Alas, Comrades... I'm afraid I have disappointing news. It appears I will be unable to join you on this day's
adventure after
all. I have been summoned to a greater cause. Uh... that sucks! You want your donuts back? You can keep the donuts... Oh. But pass me my blood. And one of those juice boxes
too, if you don't mind. Yeah. Shall I take a squad and
clear the perimeter? Don't worry... I've cleared the whole place
and locked all the doors. No one's getting in here except for us! Excuse me. Excuse me! We're closed! Closed? Yes, closed! On a Saturday afternoon? Yes! [♪] I really cannot understand this. What kind of bowl
ing alley is not open on a Saturday afternoon? [♪] How do you people expect to do business when ya, ya just close shop... willy nilly? That's why America's falling apart! Laziness! I'll tell you what it is... Sloth! Good heavens! That's one of the 7 deadly sins! Alright, let's go.
Please. Right this way. Whadda you think you're doing? Have a great day.
Thank you. Unhand me, you goon! Donald, are you gonna let
this thug manhandle me like I'm some barroom floozy? What the blazes? He shall do no su
ch thing! Come to me, Darling! Step off, you scoundrel! Okay, are we done? Here we go.
Let's go. There we go.
Door's this way. Thanks for coming by. Have a good one. Thank you very much. There's the door. We'll be open tomorrow. Thank you. Have a good one. [♪] Alright, the doors are
definitely locked now. I don't think we should
be talking about this in front of that cleaning guy either. Oh, who? Alonzo? Yeah, don't, don't worry about him. He doesn't speak a lick of English. You want me to try t
o talk to him? What? No! we don't
need to talk to him, okay? Just let him finish cleaning because if he doesn't finish,
I have to do it. Okay, can we just please
focus on me for like 2 seconds? So I can get to the big details? Now... Just before I strarted calling you all in, I got a call from one of our
undercover field operatives. How many operatives do we have, Commander? That's classified. Which one is it? It's classified, okay?
I can't tell you or it'll blow his... their cover. So I probabl
y shouldn't
be telling you this, but just between us... That's me they're talking about. I'm the undercover operative. Pretty cool, right? Stick around. There's more where that came from. I bet you I could tell you who it is. [♪] Hey! Hello, hi! Hey! Hi... Taylor. Did you order Cassie the Psychic? Yeah... That's me! Oh, okay. I think this is the right
address, but I lost the paper so I had to try to go by memory,
which is like crazy! You know what I mean? Yeah. I think I had it in the car... Mus
t be there... Cuz I know I had it when
I was leaving the house... But I have like no idea
what happened to it... Um... Yeah... Why don't you just come in? I've got everything set up
in the basement. Perfect! Wait... Did you say you wanted
a psychic or a magician? A psychic... Crap! I'm sorry.
I have to... I grabbed the wrong bag. I have to run back out to my car. [♪] So... Would you like to start
with scrying or the cards? What's scrying? It's crystal ball gazing. Oh, cool! Ooh... I know, right?
That's what I would recommend. It's Kelly's party, so it's up to her. The crystal ball sounds cool. What, can you like see the
future and stuff with that? Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, don't ask me for the
lottery numbers or stuff like that... But, I can totally predict
your love life... jobs... diseases... your death! You know... stuff like that. Just gimme a sec. Ah... Is it me, or is that just a bolwiing ball? Alright. I'm not gonna lie. Yes. This is actually my dad's bowling ball. You would no
t believe What I've been through lately... My quartz ball was stolen
right out of my car while I was at work last week. In broad daylight! Along with most of my magic tricks Meanwhile, 3 of my cats came
down with this skin disease that requires injections at
the vet 3 times a week. The doctor says it's not
contagious, but I mean... How is that possible? I guarantee you that the other 3
are gonna come down with the exact same thing! Plus... I noticed this rash
on my leg this morning... And who's
to say that's not related? The timing just sucks! I can't afford it all right now! Not with my hours practically
being cut in half! I'd be fine with the tarot cards. [♪] The sphere... is a geometrically perfect shape. It emits enregy equally
in every direction. I have placed it in the center... So that everyone can benefit equally. As it facilitates our clear communication. Oh... I can see you very clearly, Kathy. It's Kelly. I see... Change... In your future... You will face... A change... Poss
ibly having to do with... Love... Or... Or health... Or perhaps money. Does that make sense? Mmm hmm... Wow, she is good. Nice gift, Taylor. Wait! I see... The change... I see the change coming to... Your... Your brother. Yes! Your brother! I don't have a brother. Are you sure? Maybe that's the change. [Brass instrument sound] Oh! That's me. That's weird... I'm sorry. Something has
suddenly come up, and I have to run. Believe me... I did not see this coming! So I apologize! Oh... I almost forgot
... This is a complimentary gift... There should be one for each of you. Don't worry... They're fake! Happy Birthday, Kathy. [♪] I bet you I could tell you who it is! No! It doesn't... Ugh... It doesn't matter! Okay? Can we please just focus, so that I can finish with the briefing? Thank you. So anyway... As I was saying... This morning, I received... A life-altering piece of intel. But before I lay all the
pieces out for you... I want you to close your eyes... And think about the biggest
movie
ever made. Don't say it! Just think it... You got it? Now... As we all know... Each and every one of us has a veritable treasure
trove of collectibles related to that one movie. But no matter how hard we try... No matter how many... Conventions we go to...
No matter how many... Online auctions we follow... There's one collectible... The ultimate collectible! That we will never even see in person... Let alone hold...
Or possess... Because there are only six
untouched specimens known to exist in t
he
entire civilized world. You're talking about the lavender-dressed Solar Princess action figure
from Galactic Combat? NARRATOR: I really hate to
interrupt the story again, NARRATOR: but I wanna make sure
you're aware of the significance NARRATOR: of this
particular action figure. NARRATOR: The lavender-
dressed Solar Princess NARRATOR: from Galactic Combat NARRATOR: was the world's
very first transgender
sci-fi action hero. NARRATOR: Now, it's not
particualrly well-made, NARRATOR: but it's gro
und-
breaking and rare nonetheless. Mint-on-card? That figure's valued at
over 3,500 dollars! Nelson... What are you saying? What I'm saying, Mikey... Is that the world's most valuable Galactice Combat action figure, mint-on-card, is currently located less than 3 miles from this very exact spot where I am standing at
this very exact moment. And we're gonna snatch it. [Excited cheering] Nelson? How're we gonna do that? Well, Mikey... Here's the thing... Excuse me, folks... Anyone here happen to h
ave
a cigarette that I can bum? Alonzo! I thought you didn't speak English! Yeah, Man, I do. I don't speak nothing else. My yute? Cigarette? No? Tahree. Love. Crap. You know, I don't get it... He's worked here for two years, never said one word to me. Well, you know you're not always... The most welcoming person, Nelson. Shut up, Cassandra. She's actually right, Nelson... You can be rather standoffish at times. Nelson, tell us how we're gonna get our hands on this little slice of Heaven. Alright
, here's the deal... The target is secured in a
building acrosss town. Do we know for sure
the figure's authentic? Oh, it's certified. I have a picture of the letter on my phone. Ho, ho, ho... wee...
Come to Papa! Alright, now, our informant
works on the inside... And they can get us in, but we're only gonna have a few minutes to extract the target. It's not gonna be easy, but I know with the right
team that we can do it. And that's why I called
all of you guys in. You're the best at what you do
! But before we go on with the plan, I need to know that you're on board... Because this could get... let's just say, a little messy. So who's with me? [Chirping crickets] What, nobody? Guys. we have the
opportunity to walk away with the rarest sci-fi action figure! Untouched by human hands! Still sealed in its bubble
packaging from 1979! And none of you want that? It's not that we're not
interested, Commander... It's just... It sounds kind of illegal or something. I'll tell you what's illegal,
Mikey. I wasn't gonna mention
this little detail... Because I was afraid it
might get you riled up... Maybe cloud your judgment... But, I think...
You know... I don't think I have any choice! What if I told you that my informant has confirmed that the current owner acquired the piece when he evicted the owners of a struggling comic book and collectibles shop
from a building that he owned? And that he plans to give said rarest action figure to his son for his seventh birthday so that he can open
it up... and play with it? [Angelo groans.] Would that change anything? [Various cheers of "Yes!"
"Heck, yes!" etc.] Who's the mark, Commander? Who has the princess now? Great question! The current owner is none other than Hercules McNally. Hercules McNally? Yeah, he's like the biggest
personal injury lawyer in town. He's got tons of commercials. He owns most of the premiere
tanning salons too. [♪] [Sound of fast-driving car engines] [Sound of screetching tires] [Sound of fast-driving car engine
s] [Sound of screetching tires] [Sound of fast-driving car engines] Hold on, Guys... we're almost there! [Sound of fast-driving car engines] The factory where they're
holding Gloria's just a few block from here! [Sound of screetching tires] [Sound of fast-driving car engines] [Sound of machine gun fire] Shitzu! [Machine gun fire]
[Screetching tires] Rabbits! We almost had her! Uhh... We were so close to
completing our mission... Sorry about that, Amigos. [♪] Ooh... I need a break. I'm starving.
Must be pretty late by now... Oh, crapola! It's daytime! I think I was supposed
to be at work today! Oh... I gotta pee! [♪] Don't look at me like that... If you want your own breakfast burrito, you can help yourself. [♪] [Sound of revving engine] Hmm? [Sound of revving engine] Where's my stupid phone? [Sound of revving engine] [Sound of revving engine] Right now? Are you kidding me? Huh...
this better be good! [♪] That's what I'm talking about! [♪] It's all about the horsepower! [♪] [Sound of re
cord scratching] Hey, Angelo, how are ya? Hey, Mark! [Sound of powerful engine starting] [♪] [Sound of engine starting] [Sound of accelerating engine] [♪] Giddy up! He owns most of the
premiere tanning salons too! Most? How many are there? I'd say five. Seven. Ah, the one on Elm Street closed. Okay, six. You're missing the most important point... He also sells his own hot sauce. It's quite spicy. Nah, it's got medium heat... at best. I'd say mild... But that's not what we're
talking about here!
Hercules Joseph McNally is the town's third largest
importer and collector of sci-fi literature and paraphernelia. Bingo! His collectibles are housed in a warehouse
on Dedham Street! And according to the latest intel... The party is going down
tomorrow afternoon! Geez! That doesn't give us much
time to liberate the little gem. Alright! I need everybody to get the
supplies on their list ASAP. We're gonna meet at the safe
tonight at 7:30 p.m. Get ready for a long night. Because at midnight, we rol
l on the warehouse! When you say safe house... You mean the back room. Yes... [♪] So if you have been injured Or you suspect that you may
have been injured... In any way... Call or text me today. My team will get you the
compensation you deserve... And remember... The insurance companies
don't have your back... Hercules has your back! Rrrr! Cut! That was great, Hercules!
We got it. Excellent, sir! Rrrr! Wally, did you call Brooke? Tell her we have private
reservations at Luigi's for 8 tonight? O
h, yeah, sir, you're all set. Sammy's picking her up
at 7:15. Your wife called while you were filming. ...By the way. Crap... What the hell's
she want? Umm... She wanted to know when
you'd be home for dinner. [Laughs]...Dinner... Can you believe her? Like I have so much free time... Geez, I get her houses, cars,
a dozen maids... I still can't get her off my back! What the hell's she want from me? She is... She is quite a character, sir. I mean, she's just weird... you know? Text her! Tell her I'
m knee-deep in a case and I'll be sleeping
in the office tonight! You got it, boss. [♪] Alright! Nice job, everyone. Angelo should be back
any minunte with the truck. In the meantime, I need Clyde to help me construct... The building replica. The rest of you... sort out these supplies
and fill our packs. What's the over-under, Commander? Best case scenario, we complete the extraction and we're home tucked in bed in 60 minutes Worst case... There's no telling how long
we're in the field. Shula fa
brole. Shalupa nimuway. Triple check our bags and equipment, and then check them again. We only get one shot at this. [♪] [Laughter] ...So good. You want some dessert? [Restaurant background sounds] [Laughs] ...Yes... [♪] What is it, Wally? Listen, I'm so sorry to
interrupt, Hercules, but there's a... a... a... A problem with the entertainer for Hercules Jr.'s
party tomorrow. Hmm. Wally? Yes, Hercules? Do I pay you well? Yes, of course, Hercules. Do I pay you really well? You are really generou
s...
[Laughs] Do I pay you really well
so you can interrupt my romantic dinner with my beautiful angel and bombard me with insignificant, trivial, mundane, chicken-crap little problems, Wally? Ah, no you don't, sir. That's right, I don't.
That's right, I don't... What is it that I want to hear, Wally? Solutions? Yeah... [Laughs] Yes, Wally...
Solutions... [Laughs] Think of it this way... If my kid's disappointed... Well, I'm not a happy camper. And ya know what happens
when I'm not a happy campe
r, Wally? Yeah, I do, Hercules... [Bang on table]
Fix it! Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Mmm, you're a sexy man, Hercules... Can you show me both your fists? [♪] Rrrr! [♪] Alright... Remember... We only have 275 seconds to make entry, acquire the target, and complete the extraction. Every second counts. When do we commence? As soon as we get the word
from our inside operative. In the meantime... Try and stay loose. I don't know... This is kinda stressful! Here, Mikey, take one of these!
Should take the edge off. [Deep breathing] Don't worry, Mikey... This is gonna be awesome. I can tell... It just feels right. Whadda the cards say? What cards? You know, the tarot cards... Right! Yeah... Um... I... I know I brought them.
I'm just not sure... You know... I still don't understand the
whole thing with the orange. I mean, aren't we supposed
to be trying to blend in with the background? Like a chameleon or something? We'd have the upper hand in this mission if we were, in fact, chame
leons. Chameleon eyes have a
360 degree arc of vision and can see two directions at once. Oh..Snap.. That's exactly what I need. Chameleons also have ballistic tongues that are one and a half to two times the length of their entire body. [Laugh] If I had a tongue like that, I wouldn't need my axe. I bet you could get your
tongue done surgically. Hmm? The cost would be insane! I was gonna go with camouflage, but I went with orange. Because...
I think that We have to worry more about... Friendly f
ire in this situation then we do about standing out. At least... As long as we maintain... The element of surprise. Nelson's right. Friendly fire is a
devil in close quarters. Especially without night vision. [Sound of gun cocking and shooting] There it is! Time to go! Dang it! What is it? Are we outnumbered? No, the operative has a... Has a migraine. We're gonna be on our own. NARRATOR: I know,
I know... NARRATOR: My timing was
not exactly ideal here. NARRATOR: But what
could I do? NARRATOR: At
least
I called. NARRATOR: Ya know... NARRATOR: A migraine is a
true neurological disease NARRATOR: with extremely
incapacitating NARRATOR: neurological
symptoms. NARRATOR: Truth is... NARRATOR: I think I got
a hold of some bad cologne NARRATOR: and it really
messed me up. I totally saw this coming. Now what? Now... We rely on brute force to get us in there. [Nightstar laughing] I wouldn't want it any other way. Let the warriors lead the way. Moonblade, let's go. What? Why me? This is the perfec
t opportunity
to test your combat readiness. Mikey... Mikey... Mikey! Mikey! Mikey! Mikey! Mikey! Mikey! Crap. [Sigh] Make sure my mother gets that. Jaucadrude sportee jutay in taca fila. [♪] [Banging on door] Defensive positions! Hey! Who in 'dere? Alonzo? Whadda ya doing here? My night job, man.
Security. What? I didn't know you worked secutiy... You never asked, man. Listen... Can you get us inside... On the down-low? Yeah, sure, man. But I'll be needing one
of them fine vests. A vest gets us
in... no questions? Mikey, give him your vest. Me again? What about the friendly fire? I was gonna do it... This way, guys. [♪] Angelo... We're on the move. Be ready to roll in 2-7-5. Where is all the stuff? It's all gone? The collectibles? Everything? 'Sall gone, man. They clear it out here about a week ago. Turn it into offices or something... Why didn't you tell us
that in the first place? You didn't ask, man. Alonzo? I have a question for you... What is it, man? What did Hercules do with al
l of the collectibles that used to occupy this building? He sold them, man. All of them? Yeah. Except, bredren, for that famous one... The one you was talking about this morning at the bowling alley. The Solar Princess with the lavender cape. Yes! Where is it? It's at the Birch Meadow banquet hall. For Hercules Jr.
Big party tomorrow. Yeah...[Laughs]
That's funny... What? I'm gonna be at that party. What? Yeah, some guy called me today... Pizza night... Hey... Deep dish or thin crust? Defintiely
deep dish. Shut up! What guy?
What'd he say? Um... He said he was Hercules McNally's assistant and he wanted to know if I could do a magic show tomorrow... At one... At the... Birch...
Meadow... banquet hall... Umm... Because... Their entertainment... Cancelled last minute. Considering the mission that we're deep in the middle of executing... You didn't think that that was information that you should have shared with us... a little earlier! Oh... Yeah, ah... I didn't... Make the connection... T
hat's it... back to the transport! No shut-eye tonight for this crew. [♪] [Crickets chirping] [♪] Hidy ho, chief! No worries... I'm right here! Angelo, whadda you doing? It's time to roll! Sorry, boss. I ate at Clyde's house last night... And I don't know what his
mother puts in that chili. Tastes great going down, but ooh wee... Oh, oh... okay, okay!
Forget it. Just get us back to the safe house. Pronto! No problem. [♪] There they are. [♪] By the way, what's up with the tie? It gives me an air
of professionalism. Hmm. [♪] Excuse me... We're looking for the
Hercules Jr. party... [♪] It doesn't start
until 1:00. I'm the magician. Where can I set up? Mrs. McNally's right
over there. Listen! You should know... I'm Lefty Carmichael. I'm the main attraction. You're opening for me. [♪] Excuse me... Mrs. McNally? Yes. Can I help you? Hi! I'm Cassie...
The Magician. And this is my assistant... Boris. Boris? Oh... Wonderful. Hercules Jr. absolutely
adores magic. So... Did I hear you're
also a p
sychic? I don't know, did you? I did. Are you? What? A psychic. Yes! Definitely. But, I thought you wanted a magician... Well, yes, for the party we do, but... I have some questions that I
would love to have you answer. Okay, as long as they're not
about lottery numbers. Nooo... It's about my two-timing husband. Oh... Yeah... Definitely.
I can do that. [♪] [♪] [Crashing sound] [♪] What is he doing? I thought they were going to text us. That was the plan. [♪] There must be a problem. He looks ner
vous. [♪] Herman always looks nervous. [♪] What's going on? Where's Cassie? Why didn't you text us? Mrs. McNally took her
to another room for some psychic readings. What? What about the Solar Princess? I'm pretty sure I found it. It was on a table, all by itself, with nobody around... Perfect! So you
grabbed it? You had it... All alone... With nobody watching...
And you... You left it there? Fine. Alright. Let's go, everybody. Herman, lead us to it. [♪] [♪] What're you guys doing here? [♪] Icurr
acoonsa yavohl a shoalrum Wacchasheetut dudo yuboyoo... Nuneedud? Asturrig eenonarobe aroobay. [♪] Ohh... Feels like about 95 grams... With a 60-40 vertical split at the thorax. Jiggle ratio is about 7 to 4. No residual displacement... No center flux... Cross-terminal alignment is
almost a perfect six! This is she! Beautiful. Let's go. And just where is it that you think you're going? Hey, guys! Hey, Cass! I'm sorry, but... It's looks as if you're about to steal one of my husband's prize possess
ions. Well... Umm... Yes, Mrs. McNally! As a
matter of fact, we were. Perfect. The only thing that I hate more than that two-timing Norway rat is his stupid toys! Follow me. [♪] Come on, guys...
Let's go. [♪] See this? This is what's left of an
entire warehouse of... Collectibles, action figures,
spaceships... [Sigh] Belonged to the one and
only Hercules McNally. He thinks we're moving this
into our storage cellar... I think he's an idiot. So umm... That truck is...
in my name. And guess what? I
just decided to sell it. To you. [Cheers] That is great,
Mrs. MacNally! But I can pretty much guarantee you that we cann ot afford to buy that truck. Oh yeah?
Umm... How 'bout... One dollar? Does that sound affordable? One U.S. dollar... for the whole truck? Mmm Hmm. And... Everything inside... Yeah. Well that sounds
fantastic, Mrs. McNally! I never wanna see this junk again. Just get it outta here
before he gets here. It's a deal! [Laughs, cheers] Okay, well, my payment... A deal's a deal. Rig
ht, right.
A deal's a deal. Umm... Ahh... [♪] Five... five three eight
four um... Thirty... Nine... cents... Fine. Earl, take care of the paperwork, meet me inside. [Laughs] [Cheers] Where's Angelo? Clyde, call Angelo. Get him over here. Tell him we gotta get this truck rolling. [♪] NARRATOR: Leave it ta Angelo NARRATOR: ta go skinny-dippin'
at the banquet hall. NARRATOR: What can say? NARRATOR: The man likes
his comfort. [♪] [Siren sound] [♪] [Siren sound] [♪] [Siren sound] [♪] [Siren sound] [♪
] [Siren sound] [♪] [Siren sound] [♪] It's yer dime. Oh... I'm just takin' a little swim. Yeah... They even have a pool here. It's very refreshing. Indoor versus outdoor? Hmm... To be honest with you... I normally prefer indoor pools... I have a tendency to get sun poisoning when I bathe outdoors... But I was getting a little
sticky in the pits, so I couldn't pass this up. Okay, you got it, brother. Just gimme two minutes to get dressed. Ciao. [♪] They what? Whadda you mean the whole truck? My w
ife... She what? Ah... that no-good, ungrateful... No, no, listen! I'm already
late for the party! Well ya beter think of something... And fast! I swear to you... If Hercules Jr. is
disappointed... Things are gonna get ugly! [♪] Hey, Wally! What? I don't care! Get your butt down here now! Rrrrrrrr! [♪] I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am of all you guys! I knew from the go that this was the team I needed. We could not have accomplished this feat without your outstanding
leadership ski
lls, Commander. You are a fierce warrior,
and a brilliant general. Yeah, and because of you we've got the mint-on-card Solar Princess and... a truckload of
awesome collectibles. Yes! I see a bright future ahead
for some of us. I just wish we coulda kept going. I was just gettin' warmed up. Black ops is definitely for me. [Slurp sound] Listen, I really need a drink. I can feel my muscles tightening already. People! [Record scratch sound] This figure is not mint on card. Alonzo! What're you doing
here? Hey... My baby invited me. What?
What baby? Hey, baby! When did this happen? You never told us that
you hooked up with Alonzo! You never asked. Hey... Love is a crazy thing, man. Don't try to understand it, Just appreciate it. He's right! There's a significant break in the seal. This figure is not mint on card. It's near mint on card. Crap! [Crunch sound] It's still valuable though, right? Yubeeseez bumbartos noncaura shaleeseez! [Squish sound] [Slam sound] True, but... We've got the truck
full of collectibles... There's bound to be something
good in there, right? [Bugle sound] Tripe A Sewage.
You dump it, we pump it. Yeah. Yeah-huh... Obviously. What? [Rapid breathing] Keep talking... Yeah! Yes! Definitely! Okay, I'll call ya right back! Alright, guys... Who's interested in getting their hands... on a limited, first-edition Wonder Guy action figure mint on card? [♪] Alright... Give me your analysis of this one... Lernaean Hydra versus Mongolian deathworm. What? Ahh... okay... Le
t's try this. Kittens versus puppies! Dang! Now that's a competition! Lemme think about that for a minute. [♪] Anything for you, buddy. Now let's go get some pasta. Giddy up! Hey, you know you're right? The freedom in this thing is incredible. Yeah... It's very
liberating. Yeah. Yeah. [♪] [Sound of bowling ball] [♪] So I bet you're wonderin'
who this handsome devil is. As a matter of fact, that's yours truly. [♪] Even an undercover operative needs a little R 'n R now and then. [♪] That's it for
me, folks. Be careful out there. [♪] Gimme your analysis on this one... Zombies versus vampires. Tssss... [Laughs] That's not even worth acknowledging, dude. Come on! Zombies versus vampires? It's almost stupid. There's like no comparison... They're not even close. Vampires are like... The Chuck Norrises of the undead world. And zombies are just like zombies! I mean, one vampire could
decimate like 10 zombies in 1.5 seconds. Maybe 2 seconds... Depending on the conditions of like the weather, the
humidity,
the barometer... And obviously the moon and the tides. Remember... Vampires have super strength, flight, shape shifting, weapons... Whadda zombies have? Just their stupid bite. Ah... plus... Vampires are super smart. Like four times as smart
as an average person. Zombies have a rotten potato for a brain. Tsss... It would be a total slaughter. Total. Yeah, you're right. That's probably how it'd go down with regular zombies. But what if... What if they were like butt-kicking, fast-movin
g, rabies-style zombies? It's a completely different scenario. The whole game changes. Tsss... Not really! I mean... Would it be a little tougher for a vampire to take out zombies who move at like thirty miles an hour? Yeah. Probably. I'll give you that. But vampires cruise at like
40 or 45 miles an hour. And that's not even pushin' it. The only thing faster than
a vampire at top speed is a cheetah! And they're the fastest land animal including all humans. So... Basically... Even a pack of fast
zombies would get slaughtered by
one normal vampire. Hands down!
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