Такого бреда от ЛАВРОВА в ООН ещё не слышали 😁 [Пародия]

Greetings, dear colleagues. I, the Chief of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, excuse me... Head of the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs Sergei Viktorovich Vralov, I want to express my deep gratitude to those who came to this meeting today, especially grateful to those who did not leave when I arrived. Separately, I would like to thank all those European countries that support Russia, and as you know, there are quite a few of them. This is Hungary, and Slovakia, and the same Slovakia, and again

Hungary. Who else is there?! I don’t remember if I talked about Hungary and Slovakia, but they are also on our side. And this list, believe me, can be continued indefinitely. Now, actually, to the performance. Usually in this room the Permanent Representative of Russia Vasily Nebenzya disgraces himself, “Hello, Vasya!” Today this great honor fell to me. Well, as they say, an old horse won’t ruin a furrow, but a dull horse, even more so. Today, Russia's position in the international arena remain

s quite strong, despite the fact that the collective West is constantly trying to weaken... And, excuse me, not to weaken, but to weaken our position. We are constantly accused of something, although we are constantly not to blame for something. What is happening in Ukraine now reminds me of the bad old cartoon “Tom and Jerry.” Where the cat tries to carry out his own special cat operation every episode, but every time someone’s thick legs appear in the frame and ruin his plans. So, we know wher

e these legs grow from. Therefore, I once again want to urge NATO countries not to transfer weapons to Ukraine. This is, at the very least, unfair to our military personnel. Why should someone fight with good weapons, and others with ours? I think it’s no longer a secret to anyone that the transfer of weapons to Ukraine hurts your pockets and hurts our soldiers. And this is inhumane, I think, because you can print as much money as you want, but our women have not yet learned how to print soldier

s at such a pace. Moreover, the transfer of NATO weapons to the Kiev regime is completely contrary to all existing conventions that we have not yet come up with. And he puts a spoke in our hooves... excuse me, in the wheels on the way to the negotiation process. Therefore, in order to find a compromise, we have compiled 2 lists: which weapons should absolutely not be provided to Ukraine, and which, so be it, can be provided? Does that mean it's impossible? F16 - definitely not. Highmars - no. Pa

triot systems - no, no and no again. Taurus - absolutely not. By the way, I would like to take this opportunity to express my deep gratitude to the German government for its generous cooperation in this matter. Let's move on, Storm Shadow - no, Scalp - no, and so on, in general, you'll find out later. Now, what weapons can be transferred? Here I have a separate list, which is also quite impressive. So what's here? Water pistols - yes, slingshots - please, slingshots with an elastic band - not ad

visable, but acceptable. Match shooters - as many as you like, fly swatters, nail pullers - yes. Well, weapons of mass destruction - tubes for spitting chewed napkins. I mean, you don't know what it is?! Heavens, show me. Well, something like this, only through a straw and a chewed napkin. Vasya, next time, please, don’t point at me. In general, we're done with this. Now, I consider it necessary to inform the entire world community that the Ukrainians have begun to use underground drones of an u

nidentified type against us, which have been attacking the infrastructure of our housing and communal services for a month now. As a result of underground impacts, hot water pipes burst, heating mains are destroyed, and boiler houses fail. Such barbaric methods leave our entire cities without heating and water supply, and the traditional Russian authorities are blamed for this. In addition, everyone here is now speculating on the topic that Russia is allegedly threatening to attack the Baltic co

untries, Poland and Finland. I officially declare it. We are not going to attack these countries unless they want to. But we haven’t decided yet how and when they want it. And I want to remind you once again that Russia has never attacked anyone and if necessary, it will not attack again. And if I lied about anything, then let my tongue, as they say, wither. That's all I have, thanks for your attention. Vasya, Nebenzya, give me some water, my mouth is dry.