Taskmaster's New Year Treat 2024 | Full Episode | Taskmaster

[Music] do yeah [Music] [Applause] got hello I'm Davis welcome everybody to the Taskmaster New Year's treat yes it's our once a year chance to turn our backs on The Wretched Army of Comedians and Shine the unforgiving Light into the face of those famous for other things sure these people have achieved success in their chosen Fields but will they farewell at complete competing pointless tasks under the watchful eye of a lanky despot and his hairy snackle tooth boy servant D it in the event of one

of them being slightly better than the others this is their prize oh it's a golden pair of daddy big Fun's eyebrows what bizarre combination of individuals have been strong armed into the Coliseum of nonsense this year I hear you cry I shall tell you here they are please welcome Deborah mean Ki radical ready Rush Steve bakaw and Zoe ball and next to me is a man who confided in me that his ritual for New Year is simple on the 12th day he takes down his Christmas decorations and on the 13th day h

e takes whatever awful gift his in-laws have bought him to a charity [Applause] shop well I've been a busy day go I've been so busy over the new year period Greg yeah you know how I like to write my letters you love to write letters 12 now genuinely I have sent this it goes share Madame they all start with share Madame as you know I work with a really special guy everyone loves this guy and I'm sure Madame you'd love him too and I think you should invite him to your extraordinary house you'd nee

d a lot of wax sure but I'm happy to help with that so please let me know what else I can do to sort out a statue of Greg Davis at Madam two swords as soon as possible I've sent it to every Department there genuinely General inquiries the Press Department there's a section for bloggers and influencers yeah it's pretty tragic isn't it as far as Madam Tu swords are concerned I've been getting someone to write in to reest my own I would visit so often this is your best ever banter SE is it imagine

it work imagine it work right let's get the New Year treat started with a prize task what's the category Alex it's this the most fun thing to be carrying when you enter a room full of people you don't know you sometimes carry me into a room don't you Greg like this sort of human briefcase you put me down open me up take out your laptop five points for the one Greg thinks is the most fun and the winner will take home all five things Plus those gorgeous golden eyebrows okay let us begin with Debor

ah Meen hello hello you may or may not remember I do have beef with you oh Deborah and I um met on a show many many years ago and in the bar afterwards I pitched an idea to her I didn't think it would take 15 years to get my revenge but here we are Deborah is a genuine idea it's horizontal glass when you're lying on a sofa and you're enjoying a drink it's unfortunate you have to sit up sometimes so I invented this glass that's got like a straw comes at the bottom so that you don't have to move y

our chin horizontal glass horizontal glass I'm in Deborah said were you serious you thought that was a good idea and I went I actually do think it's a good idea and she said it's not anyway let's get on with giving you one point what have you what you I have bought a bingo cage for calling Bingo numbers on here it is quite a nice one okay I don't know whether it's fun Deborah you see you're laughing already aren't you I'm laughing yes because I'm imagining the awful silence as you walk okay so I

used to one of my early businesses was I had a prized Bingo and the one thing I learned is that everybody loves a game of bingo they don't barium sulfate 28 H you're a weird man good coachi welcome what have you bought us that would um make things fun a a robot puppy here it is yep okay so the problem is I don't know how many people are in the room and I wouldn't want anyone to go without so six robot puppies doing a synchronized dance five six 78 yeah yeah that's Julie in the back she's proble

matic but I like her they've all got names yeah are they yours yeah I've been training them for the last two weeks it genuinely has I mean my mind's blown yeah okay Lenny you beat seven dancing robot dogs six six well if it's six I can um it's quite tricky because obviously I'm the only kid here and sort of wanted to fit in somehow so I brought uh beer and cigarettes so this this is what Lenny brought in he walks into the room like that and then an actual fact what's inside is this yeah cigarett

es and squash I cannot think of an event that wouldn't be made more fun by you turn it up with cigarettes and beer okay wonderful Steve I've I've got the most venomous animal in the world in a jar someone's up the stakes what is it it's called an irangi is a kind of box jellyfish and they are the most venomous creature in the world with the power to stop a human heart faster than any other animal keep it light man there it is oh it's tiny tiny would it kill someone they absolutely can but the Ve

nom gives you an impending sense of Doom so you have this overwhelming Sensation that the world is going to end once you've been stung by an IR Angie is it the sort of feeling that Deborah's feeling just before the points are given okay Zoe um I have brought with me a oneman band because I've always wanted one yeah and I thought it would be quite you know good to put it on the budget who would not want that I don't know I don't know whether I want Zoe could be banjo and the thing going on the co

me on no Zoe I'm a big fan of your work but I'm not going to find that fun I had one of my wedding I like them first dance that so weird right we need to know which is the least fun well you know which is the least fun Deborah you're off Mark with one point Sorry Deborah yours is tricky Steve cuz I think it's a remarkable thing to take to a party but I think most people would go here's a psychopath but is it more fun than Zoe ball with a oneman band yeah it is more fun than that yeah two points

to Zoe three points to Steve okay got it now we're up with the big gun I always knew it to come to this I can't separate them Five Points each come on yeah right it's Papa T time what have you got Alex well Papa Greg it's time for some Papa [Music] [Applause] [Music] dos oh food food and lettuce food letters than a glass yes this your sort of thing um Scrabble yeah that's a coincidence there's nothing like Scrabble there's nothing like Scrabble no you use cles a lot at home no Mom doesn't make m

e she makes more like microwave meals and pot Noles she oh that's something what's under that oh oh oh oh oh those poads maybe love a poad I'm going to regret saying that aren't I eat these poppadoms hurrah after each mouthful you must use your letter of the alphabet from your vocabulary then either compliment Greg or insult Alex I don't want to insult you I like to be insulted oh you like to be insulted okay your insults and compliments must all be different if you use a lost letter at any time

10 gr will be added to your final poppadom weight most poppadoms eaten wins you have a maximum of 10 minutes your time starts when Alex blows his whistle like let's say if I got rid of a I can't say a word with a in it mhm what this is this is a [Applause] travesty are you all pu on fans not anymore oh good well I hope you've got some insults I I wrote a few down uh that you could have used wonky tooth Sesame Street character crybaby long neck Andy Murray look alike this is just a few hair cove

red horse dong these are just some of the that you could have had should we crack on yes our first two number crunches are Deborah Meen and Steve bsha so math for letter [Music] insult Alex I don't like your shoes after every muffle you must lose a letter okay that's not even a mouthful I haven't swallowed yet right get is that not haven't swallowed yet I am going to get my M Greg you're my favorite comedian of all time Zed is coming in Greg is a lovely [Music] man Alex that shirt needs a tie I'

m a serious businesswoman I've heard that I do deals every day people take me very seriously Greg you are my perfect man the adex is meaner than I [Music] thought [Music] wow is this how you do it in the [Laughter] restaurant Alex I never like the horn section these feel like they're coming quite naturally to you these didn't have to work up M lovely lovely did I say lovely happy water are these vegan Alex you will always be a sidekick seems to be [Music] enjoying nothing you said the B word we'

re into the final 1 minute 40 seconds is it over yet it's not over 20 seconds um [Music] noobs tiny bit popped on on one eyebrow and that's your time up [Applause] fin image is quite powerful of you Steve there just the thought of popadoms now makes me wret yeah rightly um your insults were deliciously specific to Alex and I know for a fact actually hurt his feet I've never liked the horn section absolutely delicious five and a half popadoms he got through in 10 minutes which is f it was very im

pressive Deborah was your strategy just eat all the POA dos it was actually did Deborah do any compliments or she did she said I was nice I think I mean they both actually made quite a few mistakes unfortunately so every time you made a mistake 10 grams will be added to your total you made 24 mistakes I made 24 mistakes Steve made 38 if either you had not even eaten anything you would have done much better now for some more of the same with koi Lenny and Zoe can I go get some water uh first thin

g I'm going to do please can I get a drink you may that going Hy I'm just checking you absolute Beauties still here we're still here still smashing up there's something in is it sauces can I dip the oh see this is lovely another yippee I feel like one of those miniature monkeys it's about to do a backflip okay we lost the Z we me with me yeah you're a mean man mhm I didn't like your hoodie this morning really yeah Alex she so hairy big fingers oh God wait question says eat the papadoms doesn't s

ay who has [Music] [Applause] [Music] to Alex you look so sweaty yourself [Music] up oh my God I'm using I feel like I'm losing a lot of [Music] points it smells good have you met him in my head smells like peka [Music] ran sauce pots he calling Greger sauce pot yeah yeah mhm yeah the [Music] Pig if there's one thing I've learned in my years of watching this show Alex CU I know you'll put anything in your mouth I plan to use that to my advantage [Music] [Applause] today you can't spell any of my

insult um G my teeth yeah B kn melting melting can't spell it can't spell melting I feel sick well I feel quite [Applause] hurt I think this is your problem in the context of this stupid show Zoe you're too nice do you want me to help you I'll write an insult out for you to say to Alex okay thank you so much I think it's just training just to bring out your dark side hi Zoe you wank flap [Applause] easy apologies to Lenny's parents I hear a lot worse for me mom try Lenny you did throw a few nic

e insults and when you said pegga we didn't include all your compliments there were some pretty good ones to you love L hair wonderful posture perfect hot Fab fit muscle you know it thank you COI I felt that the moment you discovered the dipping sources that you lost total interest in this task I feel you were just there for a meal to be fair I've always wanted to feed things to Alex so much so that I had the moment commemorated into a t-shirt [Applause] yeah so in the end eating the pop gums wa

s kind of irrelevant it was all about how many mistakes they made we knew Deborah 24 actually the least mistakes Deborah compared to 38 for Steve 56 for Zoe 85 by you Lenny and 131 I think magnificent koi produced 97 popadoms comes in last place you get one point Lenny produced 64 Zoe 41 Steve 24 Deborah only produced 15 popons in the end so she gets Five Points there it is we have a look at a lovely big scoreboard Alex all right it's close we have two people in joint third and two people in joi

nt first and that's Lenny and Steve unexpected on we go okay and just like the time you caught me drawing you in the shower this one involves an awkward portrait [Music] makes me feel important you are important Steve not used to seeing my Name In Lights well I've got quite a serious question to ask you Lenny all right can I ask you a well quite a personal question Deborah you can I might not answer it how long does it take you to eat an orange how long does it take you to eat an orange um might

want to give myself a bit of extra time considering where I am what kind of show this is this isn't part of this is just a general I don't believe you Alex I'm going to go for three minutes 3 minutes 10 minutes 10 minutes 4 minutes and 45 seconds is that your final answer 6 minutes and 23 seconds okay uh I reckon I could do an orange in about 45 seconds that's pretty cool it's one of my special talents okay you can open the task now okay draw a picture of yourself eating some fruit on this tabl

et you may not touch the touchcreen with any part of your hand you have as long as it takes you to eat an orange on reflection I reckon it could take me over an hour also throughout the task you must become increasingly angry your time starts now are you going to keep shouting times at me yeah I'll make sure you get angry yeah don't worry about that that's going to be easy I'm intrigued by Steve's orange eating arrogance I honestly thought that I was being challenged as to how fast I could eat a

n orange but it felt to me like you've timed yourself done in the past and gone yeah have you no um Deborah has this amazing ability in any situation to seem like she's in charge it's quite a skill and he doesn't like it he doesn't like strong women okay right let's have a look okay do you want me to show you all of them creating at once yeah man here we go what makes um what makes something move on here the time starts now oh oh wow I can do it with my nose there a banana here bananas are like

fingers it's gone blank H oh now use your hands I think I might have to shut my eyes though so it's okay oh I've got to get angry as well is a terrible drawing and I hate it shoulders your anger should start just creeping in the S shoulders I don't like that you standing over my shoulder m dreading my excessive confidence with orange eating yeah you've got 6 seconds left Steve G this is hard work it's not straight it's not straight about get really angry oh [Music] well like Kink gash or somethi

ng I got massive lips is that okay is that okay yeah that's okay good good a minute left linol rude to invite people onto task masker to go back with a big red nose cannot tell you how irritating rubbing my nose against I don't know where that came from no idea where that my P came from I've had enough do you know what cuz he's so angry laser beam feels like you're getting less angry and uh I could be doing better things with my time right now darn it you pesky horn um can I end on a happy note

because I'm actually H please in my picture that was so [Applause] loud I was just feeling guilty about characterizing you as just perennially cheerful all the time and then I watch a video of you going girl there was lots about L's attempt that I enjoy but there's just a still of you that I asked Alex for while we were watching of you two and I just think it's so funny if you take it out of the context of this show if you just saw this what the hell would you think was going on I mean someone's

going to get arrested off the bag of me okay let's see some stuff okay well he only had 45 seconds but Steve managed to paint this with his nose wow I mean in 45 seconds that you took the time to give yourself a six pass it is incredible and a really smug Smile as well is he not supposed to be eating fruit there's supposed to be fruit in the picture yeah that was the only thing missing unless you can claim any of that it's fruit blueberries it's not bad in 45 seconds Steve Fair Play Let's have

a look at Zoe Ball's picture here we go it was spectacular oh my God ter what are you putting in your M it's watermelon steeve watermelon look it's got Pips in it why have you aged Yourself by 60 years I was really proud of that don't take it from me it's good lovely melon let's see some more results starting with coi's radical picture you can see the laser beams if you look closely that's a strawberry I mean a strawberry and in your mind the character jumped into the air and his legs fell off o

r I was like so fortunate now sitting at a table so the rest of my legs are under the table but it's um uh abstract next up I'm going to show you Lenny's rushed self-portrait Kim Kardashian with a banana I changed to rep pair but obviously I'm quite small so the per is very that's actually what a per is like to me very clever who's next uh the final one fresh from the Dragon Pen here is Deborah's Masterpiece here we [Laughter] go well I went abstract too is it you eating fruit but being watched

from a bird hide right at the very end she managed to press a button with her nose that created quite a big black uh layer over the top but we have managed to take that layer off because you were eating a banana in the picture you claimed and this is what you did before covering it up much better much much better oh dear he's up what's this I don't know my tongue I have a very long tongue got a long tongue I have got a long tongue I'll show you later say oh dear all right Greg I'm going to show

you all five I mean it's obviously Deborah's that's the worst just because it doesn't look remotely like you Deborah or a person or someone eating f FR so one point to Deborah we'll give Steve two points because there's uh no visible fruit there sorry Lenny I think I'm going to give you three points I like granny Ball even though Zoe did seemingly draw it while she was on a trampoline and then of course coi's Masterpiece takes the Five Points there you go four please can I see one more task [Mus

ic] Alex COI in there please enter the space ball hello please enter the oxygen chamber the oxygen chamber maybe Thunderdome Thunderdome sorry yes please enter Thunder sorry de right there's a task within a task hang on a minute it's it's a pop-up task of course right you're taking a piss he's doing nothing for my trust issues make these things pop when the timer hits zero make these things pop when the timer hits zero toast popper monster Jack Gum feed cuckoo bubble and balloon missing a balloo

n oh shortest time between first and last po wins yeah 15 minutes and your time starts now and it has to pop at 15 minutes uhhuh everything there are nine things there COI so you're aiming for them all to pop in 15 minutes time yeah at the same time ideally so I got a test you can do as much testing as you want oh oh I see but you've only got those pieces of bread and only one balloon huh do you want to explain the rules now yes COI so it is slightly complicated I've done a little graphic for yo

u there are 15 minutes until the clock hits zero they want all their Pops to happen at the same time as that The Closer the pops are together Around the Clock hitting zero the better let's begin here is Lenny Stevie and someone who doesn't like being called Debbie here we go I think the first thing I want to try is the toast I don't actually know how toast do work so you're pre- toasting the toast are you yes okay and then it's going to be toasty toast I think it's speech operated I have to talk

to the toaster go [Applause] [Laughter] down no I'm not sure it is oh I just take oh that's a really quick one don't look [Music] these oh God I don't like you I need to wind that with one hand maybe I should take that down what can you just do that oh look look look I can just do that okay how many hands have I got okay 3 minutes and Counting how does this pop that's a cat feeder Lenny oh so I thought they were minutes no not minutes it's hours isn't it if I give it the smallest oh oh wow that

's dramatic oh I got to chew bubble gun to turn into a bubble yeah put all in of you all in one go yeah go hard go home let's go okay go where's the balloon [Music] happening it's there okay so I don't want to pop that yet do you let me know when there's 10 seconds left so you're doing everything in the last 10 seconds I like it yes you wel now okay toast is going down that's first one down the next pops are the real pops is that right that's right 30 seconds I can do [Music] this 25 seconds the

pencil is killing me that can go down there 10 seconds um [Music] go yay [Applause] amazing oh my go I'm so sleepy am I doing the right thing oh that poed popped one more thing hasn't popped yet what hasn't popped that's popped that's popped what's not popped you've done everything Lenny what's not pot cooko feeder feeder that that correct is that it you may leave you may meet you bubble gum my mother is going to be so cross with [Applause] you I mean Steve just seems like he's a professional p

uppet I have an advantage in that I've used a toaster before yeah zbra do you sometimes think with all of your success you may have lost touchous we have an ARA in my defense I didn't know you couldn't talk to toasters you can't talk to toasters I mean it's a good job this isn't the sort show that would Replay that moment so that it haunts you forever this one yeah go down plny I mean you were really good as well I thought but the thing that intrigued me is you didn't know what was inside that c

at feeder and the moment you saw what was inside it you started eating I'm like a little gomin know good I want some times I mean obviously Steve was the fastest of the three his window was just 18 seconds to pop all nine things Lenny and Deborah were very similar with their times unfortunately for Deborah she didn't spot the feeder so Lenny took 50 seconds all together Deborah 72 which is not bad and you think that not seeing the feeder is going to be the thing that Deborah regrets most about t

hat go down next up it's koi and Zo okay so you just want to set the clock it's not very sweet very sweet that's 15 but it's not doing anything that's okay so that's no it's in the T there's three pieces of bubble gum there Alex please okay yeah why do they always make you jump it's not happening is it I've never been able to blow a bubble bu ever spit out sick me sick me how long have I got left 6 minutes 20 6 minutes so if I put that on 6 minutes and a [Music] bit what do you want and then you

could do the balloon as well I've got too many things to press Alex no I see the problems So the plan is just do it's like a drum [Laughter] solo away mhm this is still stuck on six just going to feed the cat in 6 hours no right hang on no something's going oh still getting bigger uh-huh okay cool that's gone that's the first pot first pot how much time I got left on the thing well 3 minutes 1 minute to go okay let's just try for at least one don't play at the same time yay he just came straigh

t out I long I got that toast I long I got is it toast that's toast CU it can never be bread put this back in the bag people think you're a Nutter toast all right have a wet fart disgusting lovely A B C D L M P QRS straight to the T U V WX y and z now I know my ABCs everything has popped accept my career thanks Zoe thank you you can take them with you if you want taking my toast it's all I have I have no dignity left but I have two pieces of [Music] toast [Applause] well I thought in the buildup

to it you look like you had it all under control yeah I made a list I tried to back time it list and then well what I've written down is when Zoe's attempt started it looked like a woman falling down some [Music] stairs oh dear it was good toast though it was good toast I did so bad I just well I don't know what happened there coachi but you told the cat feeder it was you said that Alex sickened you and you appeared to have beef with a mechanical CUO I got a lot done I mean you wrote a song as

well that's got to be worth yeah no not pointwise definitely not okay well we know that so far deboras in third was 72 neither of you two did better than that of course koi your window was 3 minutes 31 Zoe the cat feeder finally went off 24 minutes after the fight so a single point to Zoe two to koi three to Deborah four to Lenny but five to Steve pshaw Batman Steve is joint first with Lenny on 14 points wow it's okay only one could win okay everyone just one more thing to do please stay where y

ou are oh while Alex and I make our way to the stage for the final task of the show [Music] want follow Mead who will be reading the tus out Deborah Meen please okay say whether the item will fit through the hole or not fit through the hole if you get it right you lose an egg and the fewest eggs remaining wins okay okay mhm any questions no Greg should we head over to the first item together here we are that's not going to help those rumors on the internet shall I present will the duck bring the

m luck well it's good we've got two yeses and three NOS it's time to thrust only two correct aners discard your eggs COI and Lem second item it's a triangular hole but what's the [Music] item will the pan yes it can or not one yes two NOS another yes another yes it's time for thrust oh sideways oh [Applause] ni did Zoe ball just hit someone with an egg sorry sorry Jesus Christ Zoe Ball's gone into full melt though they've all lost one egg Greg will the cone find its way home all knows it genuine

ly won't go through go through you can all discard an egg well done watermelon will the melon be a hero or felon five nose [Music] thrust it's a squeezy melon [Applause] it's what yeah CO's cross I'm not sure he's as cross as ly is lovely window what's behind [Music] it give it a squish see you at the ba okay we got no no no no no yes for ball ball on ball will it go [Music] through oh no everyone but Zoe can discard an egg boxing glove will the crap go through the Gap they've all gone for the s

ame answer I'm working for you I'm working for you okay well will the balloon be coming soon oh now then four nose and one yes for Koji radical is it it's time too rough winning gra everyone but COI May discard an egg okay it's the chair shaped hole but what's he going to be putting through it oh I wasn't will the chair F through there radical says no oh it's nearly there will it go that's no that's no yes that's [Applause] enough only Steven zo got that one right probably a little worrying I'm

out of bre isn't it so now everyone look at this little hole here what are we going to be poking through that hole but for who will that be good or will it be Folly let's see whether I thrust the Broly only Lenny has gone for no oh no shove it no it's a no [Music] oh Loney and Steve neck and neck four eggs left each Co heartbroken what's the final one well you can pick up the final item if you [Applause] want will little Alex horn be reborn I think you can make it we have four yeses one no oh fr

osting the man [Applause] he did not fit through good we'll add back to the final scores and see what's [Music] happened well well well so Ki I'm afraid you got the fewest answers right you had the most eggs at the end so you get one point oh let's just enjoy Co his face for it in joint third in that round Deborah and Zoe both got half of them right five which means they get three points each in second place six correct answers with Steve but Lenny got seven so he gets Five Points and so and so

the final scores look a little bit like this L Rush wins our new year streat pleas head up to the stage and then lift a your golden eyebrows have yourselves a brilliant year and we'll see you again very soon but now here's the winner of this special night it's [Music] [Applause] [Music] l [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] for more Taskmaster subscribe [Music] now