welcome to the teens Talk podcast created by the
student virtual Board of U celebrate diversity you celebrate diversity supports students
and teachers organizing locally educating themselves and their peers and taking action for
inclusion and social justice for more information visit ycdiversity.org [Music] welcome back to
season two which is all about Community Building today I'm joined with ready eight mogus
to discuss opposition and activism [Music] hey everyone welcome to another episod
e of teens
talk um I'm your co-facilitator Louise mcgowie I'm a virtual intern for you celebrate diversity and
um I am going to get this episode started so uh everyone needs community and it can look different
all over the world the important thing is building a community with the right intention as well
as understanding the possible obstacles that you could face um and a lot of the things that we
want to talk about um in these episodes are going to be different specific topics and themes s
o for
the today's theme and topic it's going to be on how to deal with opposition and that could be from
starting a club demanding a certain kind of change when you're maybe your school your job whatever
the case because we both are still students this is going to be the perspective of student
activists but join with me is ready at mogus yeah okay cool I want to give you a chance to
introduce yourself hi yeah my name is Radio mogas um I'm originally from Ethiopia um I currently
live in Aur
ora Colorado and I attend a sea Denver thank you so much so um ready honestly has a lot
of really inspiring stories and I really like her perspective which is why I wanted to reach out
to her I'll talk about this topic in this episode um we as you guys know in each episode we call
for a little bit prior just to talk about some ideas and topics we might want to go through so if
I ever reference anything um it's just to that but for the rest of the call it's definitely still
organic and just
kind of whatever whatever you end up talking about so um I know that um
you have had a great deal of uh different experiences creating clubs and being parts of like
actually being an activist and changing things as a student so why don't you just tell me a little
bit about that and just some of the things that you've done before we even get into the all
the obstacles in opposition yeah definitely so um I went to William Smith High School and it was
a very small school and the student body w
as very um brown and black but the teachers were I think
90 at least were white um and there was like like one or two um teachers of color um and because of
that I faced a lot of obstacles um and I basically what I was dealing with in my school and a lot
of students just like me I mean every student there was that um we kind of knew that like the
teachers most of the teachers didn't really care about us and they would just give us like for I
remember one year my junior year English class um
the teacher only assigned us one book to read
and that was the entire year and we did nothing else like we just played games and he even told
us like the only reason he even made us read that book was because his teacher assistant was
like hey we need to get them to read a book or something so things like that was just like so
rampant and it really broke my heart so what I like began with was um Eros Achievers I
designed um a kind of like a club thing um that would like run during school w
here
we help these like help our each other um go to college and get extracurriculars and
all these things that like you really need to succeed that the school counselors weren't
giving us um and yeah that's where we started well that's amazing um I also I want to
impersonate a really diverse school but it was a pretty white staff so honestly it can get really
really annoying trying to deal with them yeah um but okay no thank you for that I actually
wanted um I remember did you also ever m
ention doing work with yaspa yes I did so I was
I got to um my junior year I really like explored a lot of activism and I did nothing but
I mean like I was doing activism but like it was I was just more towards myself I didn't do any
leadership my junior year and all I did was just learn and the places that I learned were youth
celebrate diversity of course um so thankful for you celebrate diversity um and yes but young
aspiring Americans for social political activism um those two organizat
ions really made me
into who I am like they introduced me to array of activist topics that I had no clue
on like I knew something was wrong and I wanted to make a difference but I didn't
know what it was and these organizations really gave me the vocabulary to
understand what was taking place now that's actually really important
I think literacy and um I guess you could just say activists terminology if you
want I don't know like is important because um that's kind of like the issues you r
un
in with trying to be PC and trying to like be inclusive and using inclusive language um so
when you want to um actually like you know be a leader in your community it's important to learn
all those things and a lot of people don't think about that but yeah exactly and like if if you
don't learn then and this is like my issue I had this I had a little bit of a pride issue um
and I like I try to like and I really wanted to make a trade like I was very like anxious to
do something so every
thing I did kind of like didn't work out at first because I didn't
know what I was even targeting I didn't even understand racism and white supremacy and
the school to prison pipeline all these huge things that have been studied in Academia
for so long by people of color I had no clue about but through yaspa and ycd I like
finally grasped it's like oh okay now I know what I'm doing and now using the knowledge that
you've given me I can Branch out and be leader no I love that thank you for b
eing honest about
that because I totally used to be the same way like I was I knew that I was very passionate
but I was also very ignorant uneducated yet so I was just like this is wrong but I don't
know why it just doesn't feel right you know so um no that's something I recommend for anyone
trying to build a community definitely just doing the the learning the work and trying to
actually learn how to be way more inclusive um and at least for the whatever goal you're trying
to reach like l
earn about like for me I always say um try to find a mission goal first and that way
you can actually figure out what the the point of this you know Club is but I remember you talking
about you working with your principal um about some change in your school can you talk a bit
more about that yeah so we first got started with um I didn't really think that I was strong enough
to handle the racism in The Faculty so I wanted to with Aurora's Achievers try to solve the problems
they've created o
n my own um and that's kind of like a flawed like mindset because like I should
be able to like address these really heavy things and I mean I don't blame myself but it's like you
know like the stuff needed to be addressed like I couldn't as a student fix everything so um at
first I was trying to fix everything and I went to my principal my vice principal and our Dean um
and I set up a meeting with them and I did this with three of my friends um their names are David
Jasmine and um Malia so
rry and like I just want to mention them because they're incredible and I just
didn't do it by myself I I had my community with me and and with them we went for the principal
and we told her the issues that we saw we had like a little Sideshow we were prepared and we
like presented like the problems that we've seen um and then we let her know that like we're not
saying we're gonna solve this because there's a lot of issues at the school that aren't
even our fault and we can't even address u
m but here's like a solution that we found
it and what our solution was Achievers and in Reverse Achievers I wanted to prioritize Equity
so um we I demanded that the school give us a time slot in the school day to do this work because
we shouldn't have to fix their issues on our own time like we're already hurt by them so our
oppressors don't get to benefit off of Free Labor um so I demanded time and then I do my end of
pay too for leaders I don't really remember the exact number but at lea
st for the four of us I
demanded the same amount of pay each semester and they said for the pay we have to think about
it just because of our budget but everything else we agree and we are eager to see the change that
you're making so yeah we just agree with that no that's amazing honestly like I feel like
we're all way too intimidated to even ask for Pay As students you know because it's like you
just don't think it's like the audacity of you to ask for money you know but honestly like tha
t's
something that I think everyone should really you know that's something that's really frustrated
me you know over time over my high school career of doing a lot of different kinds of equity work
whether it was on a school level or District level is that it wasn't always the case but there
were a lot of times where I could sense and I also knew when it was just like people using
Overland kids as you know the poster kids for diversity since we're such a diverse school um we
have no fundi
ng we have very limited resources I know we have the same building people love to
say that which is great but it's not all you need to make a school you know more accessible
for everyone's you know interests and needs um but it open does the best that they can that
being said though when people ask for our voices and then don't actually use them or listen to
them it's so it's like a slap in the face because I feel like I personally not doing this for my
resume I'm not saying that you should
n't or you shouldn't try to do things you know to build
your career but I personally did all of this straight out of passion I was either asked to do
it or I'd try to find it myself but I don't like the um the this is the fakeness of it all you
know it really does frustrate right I know yeah no I'm glad you were able to find uh because you
said you made it into class time right and that um and now this pay was it like you don't have to
tell me exactly like how much but was it something that
was like Out Of Reach like was it something
that you don't is unheard of or what was it like be reasonable that's like 250 per semester so
like it's not like like you know thousands of dollars but I mean for the four of us it did
equate to a thousand dollars um and they were able to find that in the budget for us so it was
a matter of asking and I feel like you brought up a really good point um and I just like sorry
I'm writing it down so I don't forget it um um so yeah what you brought up
I really I think that
was a really good point of I think now honestly um our oppressors are getting intelligent and they
recognize that diversity is is profitable right and they know that they want us in those rooms
they want our voice so they could sell it and they did this to me too because the school was like
Hey so we needed to go back to the students and tell them that the teachers actually love them and
they're not racist um and we need you to do it or else like we'll suspend you tha
t was it was like
it was very like it was like when I got suspended um sorry we'll cover this like when we go in but
it was a long story and when I got suspended for exposing the race system they demanded before
they suspend me that I go back to students and convince them that teachers love us and they're
not racist so it really clicked to me and they brought in a black Grand District's uh leader
to come in and tell me that so I won't like see the racism behind it so I really in that moment
I
recognize damn like y'all have figured out that we want to be listened to and we want diversity
and instead of using it and how we want it you're using it to impress us and you're using
black voices to oppress us again so it's really frustrating when that happens I know I just went
on a tattoo but yeah I just want to point that out no thank you so much for bringing that up that is
something that oh my God that is so annoying like I have tried to talk to people of my own race or
people o
f color like staff of color that I know know better but they are seriously just doing this
either for their job or to like keep the peace whatever that means and it's so frustrating
because I don't it's not about like okay which side are you on but it is like who are you
supporting you know what I mean you got to think about that like this is a student that is asking
for the bare minimum to feel like there's more Equity actually being shown in the school and I'm
now I'm being punished for I
've been punished for this stuff before too like I remember since middle
school like any time I would have any sort of like debate or even if it was an argument it was super
like civil it was not like physical or anything like that or like really out there but um I was
the one getting in trouble I was the one being told that I was starting issues and that like this
is not for a place in school and I'm just like wow like this is actually so insane that I have to
fight to be taken seriously a
nd to just literally say my piece like I don't understand why this is
soaked this is what I've learned honestly I love how you said like you know your our professors are
becoming smarter I've also learned that a lot of um it's not just okay so as I'm gonna speak
about it from like a racial perspective but I've noticed more often than not a lot of them
were like um privileged people and whether it's you say they're white straight whatever privileged
people in a certain sense and Society are
way less um confrontational than those of us who aren't
and I didn't know that until I went to high school and had friends in other schools that were like
majority like pwis for example they don't ever bring up issues like that's actually an issue
I think this is why they're so scared of it is that they're not confrontational at all and in
my school when you have an issue you just talk to the person now it could get heated for sure
but like you talk you don't just you know ignore it nobody
does that so I was really interested
in that because I was like people are so used to conforming and being quiet and being told to shut
up that it's become part of our culture and that now you're to be punished for not even the free
they love to talk about free freedom of speech until it's from a black girl you know it's really
frustrating yeah they know girl you're preaching like I feel like I'm listening to Malcolm X or
some thing like it's you're so I love this yeah I think like one thin
g you brought up that like also
like being punished for um your activism that is so rampant although they'll pretend and nobody
will ever like quite like you know outright be like I'm punishing you because you're standing up
for yourself like it's they're very like good at like hiding it and like wrapping it in like you
know beautiful gift wraps and stuff but you know the only reason I've been able to become who I am
and become strong is because I had ycd behind me um Caleb like all the lik
e the mess they dragged
me through oh Lord they dragged me through so much and Caleb has been there to like no no this isn't
okay as an adult he's been able to like step in for me and say you're not gonna do that you're
not gonna treat her like that or else there'll be consequences and I think that's like you
know ycd is so important and like it was such a Cornerstone for me as an activist and I really
do believe that a lot of more students should be using it because once you have a space t
hat
allows you to speak freely and then listens and then wants to help you do these things like it's
life-changing so y'all please join ycd right now I second that ycd honestly I love is very
authentic and they really do encourage you to be your authentic self like they don't anytime any
of us start to sound like our parents like every time we have an anxiety of houses they're like
nope this is for you this is for the Youth let's remember that like this isn't about be conforming
or being p
alatable which I really really love and that's something I also remember so I actually
love that you brought up your experience because I'm not gonna like get into my specifics I this
is really more I really want to get into what you know you have to offer and say but I also remember
I went through um a lot of you know lack of better words just stress um regarding like racial issues
that I was now here's the thing there are times where I would like stand up for myself go out of
my way to sa
y something but then this specific instance I happen to have been questioned about
something not even actually went out of my way right I was questioning about something but in
my eyes it's like why would I lie for someone who's causing harm that doesn't make sense to me
so I'm gonna be honest I'm gonna share my opinion you do that without which you will you know what
I mean I shared my opinion um and there was a a staff member um that was getting in trouble for
an entirely different reason
that had nothing to do with any other students truly um but uh he was
able to spin it as it was me and my friend that um caused he lied on our names that it was
something that it wasn't and it caused so much like controversy that I seriously could not
talk about ever because I knew people wouldn't believe me and I know people wouldn't understand
what I was trying to like I didn't even actually go to my way like I was literally just questioned
and I was used that's something that I think is
so disheartening is to use because I am always
trying to not be in a victim mind so like I'm like no like you know I'm strong this is the work
whatever but then I remember I was a kid okay like exactly I'm a kid just voicing my opinion and
you're actually gonna use me a whole child right um as collateral damage for an issue that had
nothing to do with us because you don't want to take accountability and so it caused me a
lot of anxiety I honestly started to really second-guess myself when
I would speak up about
anything and honestly it was something I really didn't feel comfortable talking about ever and I
still don't fully but I just have to say like I first of all getting suspended is insane like I
don't understand how they were able to get like how they're able to suspend you and I want to ask
a bit more about that if you're okay with that I don't want to move on because I really love
that you brought that up so for the suspension other than them saying you had to go apol
ogize
which you didn't do right but how long was the suspension what did it feel like and what do you
think it like you took away from it um after yeah so like just to give you like a little back around
um on that so I held like a little town hall um uh between two District administrators the principal
and a bunch of students and I surveyed a lot of students um and I got their stories of the race
incidents that happened their names were redacted um and I shared those stories
and after the
town hall meeting um I posted those stories up around the school
um and you know honestly now that I'm thinking about it just just from the perspective of like as
like a grown-up um and now I was an activist now I think maybe that wasn't the best idea just because
the teachers felt attacked immediately after when they saw their names posted up and stuff and I
didn't really process it like I didn't think that I didn't think it through you know like I was
just a kid and I was just trying to d
o my best so um I didn't have all the answers my bad um and
I did that and after that they called me and saw like immediately after so I that semester
I was taking college classes and I didn't have classes in my high school but I was still like
a high school student and um I was still like involved in clubs and stuff so slowly what they
tried to do as the principal tried to like kick me out without me knowing so she tried to be like
hey it's like why are you even like hanging out here like
you can like like not come like it's
so fun not being here and I was like what are you talking about like this is my community these
are my people like why would I leave the school um I'm not about to do that and then she's
like okay fine and then the next day she came back with a black woman and from the
districts and she had the black women do it she was like I'm just gonna step out you
guys talk though you just get friendly and he's like it was really crazy um and like I
literally just
like started like talking to her about like what's been going on and she told
me that she's like an equity worker it turns out when we did research later with Caleb she was
actually a behavioral like she's she's basically the district person that works with troubled kids
and like yeah so apparently I was the troubled kid um and she started like talking she's like so tell
me what you did and I was like okay and then I started telling her and then she's like why would
you do that so like she
said like interrogating me and I was so confused and then she got
me in a way to oh my God this is hard y'all um it was really traumatizing honestly
it was a very Trump experience but she I told her I was like I'm willing to do
anything for my community and these kids at this school I love them so much I want the
world for them and I'm going to bat for them um and then after I said that she used it right
back against me she's like okay so you care about them so if you care about them then w
here are
going to suspend you for nine days go tell them to be friends with the teachers and you apologize for
exposing teachers if you care about them then if you don't care don't do that but if you care then
you have to do that and I was just like wait what and like she really manipulated me in that moment
and she got me to like agree to the suspension um and I was like okay I guess um and then
I got like so for nine days I was basically banned from the school and if I stepped on the
sch
ool property they were gonna call the cops um and I was gonna get a ticket yeah so it was a
full suspension but they like didn't file it as a suspension because legally you can't even do that
um so after they turned me I was very confused and I contacted Caleb after and I told him I went on
and Kayla was just shocked and he told me yeah so she wasn't really being your friend actually
and she wasn't there to help you she was trying to kick you out and like he basically like as an
adult expos
ed what was going on to me and through Caleb like I'm so thankful that he came in oh
God is good for that but Caleb connected me to this really powerful lawyer and who works in um in
and you know racial Justice with schools and stuff he's the one that actually did the Elijah McLean
case um so he's very like prominent in his field um and with him basically uh the law firm emailed
the districts and wrote them an email saying um do not suspend this girl or else will sue I mean it
wasn't about
so it was just like why did he even like suspend her and immediately like the school
took back everything and they were like yeah we would never do that like we never even said that
she's making it up blah blah blah and they try to Gaslight me but like at least like they took it
back and I was able to come back to school after whoa can I that's a lot okay that is so oh my
gosh I'm so sorry you had to go through that genuinely that is not anything I would wish on
anyone because especially as
a kid it really does scare you from trying to just be yourself and
stand up for what's right like you're actually scared that your future will just go away but no
that oh my God can we talk about that because I I was really fortunate that during a lot of my
issues I had a female black principal that was very educated and constantly bought it for me like
she was always on my side when she rest in peace um and she was just such a good good like she was
like my school mom you know what I mean
like she just was always protecting me and she knew every
kid she was making sure everyone was seen and even when she um because she unfortunately passed
when are uh we had um a new principal come but she was also um a black female staff member from
um admin so she became the principal and she was also believed in the previous principal's work
and she was just honestly I'm being real with you if I didn't have some staff that supported
me the way I needed them to support me I don't know whe
re I'd be truly because I it's a really
scary experience being told all these lies and being intimidated and manipulated as a kid and
saying that your your Future's on the line if you don't shut up and conform it's disgusting
it's truly disgusting and it's not okay because it's it's one thing to already have to deal with
all these issue like issues as a black student and then another thing to be told or shut up about
every single experience you have but it's actually insane and I I just can
't believe they were able
to actually tell you like incorrect information like they were actually able to to say they could
do this and do that when they couldn't and so do you know did he did the lawyer um ever explain
how they're able to do that or if that's even something that's common at all it's something
that people for so it was very different like he was also confused too because it was like what
the hell is going on am I suspended or not and we were really like confused but I think
she just
lied I don't think I was actually suspended it was just that she said I was suspended and then um
never even filed it so if I step on the property they can call the cops because officially I'm
not suspended and it was really crazy because the fear-mongering when you brought that up like
they actually threatened my college like they were like so you're going to San Diego State
right and that's your dream school okay well you know if he gets suspended they're not gonna
let you in l
ike they can resend that like they'll take that away and like they went in on me like
they were not like they saw like the potential I have and we are so powerful y'all like these
people really don't want us to see our power but like youth can change the universe like it's
not even just the world like we scared of that so that's and do anything that's why I emphasize
spaces like yaspa and ycd like if you're an activist immediately join these places because
without them you're gonna be so sc
ared like as a child like you're not even aware of like if
they're like I didn't know they were manipulating me I thought they were actually on my side so like
when we finished that convo I was like okay guys like I finally get stuff so I really like I was
naive and like I needed an adult like you know I had Caleb and then another Mentor a black teacher
in my school that like told me like this is what's going on and like really showed me like the truth
so yeah mentors are so important in th
is field no I remember earlier you mentioned something
I really like wanted to touch on you're talking about saying like sorry I don't have all the
answers to everything right um and I was like like we need to really just sit with because these
adults expect us to understand everything about like critical race Theory and every history and
all we know is that this is wrong we don't like it and it could be better you know what I mean like
exactly still students we're still young we're still l
earning we're not even close to reaching
our potential you know what I mean like this is just us doing what we think needs to be done
because unfortunately the adults in our life just don't seem to care enough so we feel like it's
responsible for us to do it but I really like you brought that up because it's also another thing
of like especially with black kids like the way people just make us like uh they what's the word
I can't think of it um they treat us like adults as kids right like t
hey choose like think of the
amount of like black boys that got so like even my own brother would get in trouble all the time for
no reason simply because he had ADHD was black you know what I mean or because he couldn't focus he
couldn't always keep up he was insanely smart and doing really well but it's just because he wasn't
palatable enough for these people because they couldn't understand him enough that um because of
that now it's an issue where his hyperactivity and just passion is t
hought of as like aggression I
talked about this in the mental health episode but the reason I'm bringing it up now is because
that's a lot of the reasons like you know black kids get into so much trouble even when it's like
no like if you were to say I got suspended I'm not gonna automatically think you did actually
do something wrong I'm gonna first ask you okay what did you actually like do okay because
yeah they the school-to-prison pipeline is real and constantly trying to get kids in
trouble and
constantly trying to get something on their record is going to hurt them so you're understanding the
situation should first be begin with trying to solve it and trying to actually understand what's
happening before you just start getting people in trouble because it's causing that disruption
like this is how I know a lot of these staff don't actually care about educating anyone they
literally this they're just doing it for the money because had you cared you'd I only had a few
teachers that would actually like listen to me and sit me down to understand what was happening and
try to help me and I I'm just so sick of teachers not even doing the bare minimum you know yeah
you know what oh my God that is such a great like point that you brought up it I like I'm like a
neurodivergent black girl right and I struggled a lot um in school because I was just a kid and they
expected so much like I really just want to give little me a bigger hug like she's trying her best
an
d y'all are out here going for her neck like can you just chill like and it's so crazy like even
in this like incident of like I'm already doing so much like I already like I didn't even realize
that like how incredible like my work has been so far until like I got the ycd youth access of
the Year award and like there I really promised feel when I let them down and like the teachers
hated me the principal was mad at me the students felt like I failed them somehow because they
convinced like
the teachers like talking to me to the students so like they turned them against
me and like I really felt like a failure after that but now I'm thinking it's like brah just give
me a break I'm doing my best and like I'm doing so much already can you do the bare minimum of like
being understanding like just be a decent human being and I think as activists like it's such
a demanding field like as an activist you will like every activist will tell you this like it's
so demanding but I think
some people are just called to it that like we don't have an option
right like we're meant to be activists that's why we're here and when you're going on this journey
of autism especially as a youth give yourself Grace bro like you're changing so much you're
doing such incredible work and you're changing your community and you deserve to rest you deserve
to appreciate your work and you deserve to just be you like still be a kid like you're still like
young you're still in high school like y
ou're not this you know 50 year old doctorate holding like
Angela Davis type so still live your life be wild like be ratchet that's what I like I also like I
learned to like be who you are be a body and don't let them talk about you like you know don't let
them bring you down to yourself at least like let them do whatever they want on their own time but
like do not let their blood come into your head I couldn't agree more I think one
of the biggest things that a lot of um whether it's just
students of color or like
student activists do is that they they feel like in order to actually get what they need to get
done they have to be respectable AKA palatable AKA change themselves to you know honestly that
was something like for me that I used to think because I grew up so I was like in those kind of
like gifted and talented like Pathways or like certain classes certain schools whatever and you
know it wasn't something that like totally made my entire identity it was definitely s
omething
that had a big impact on me though because of the already the pressures of being first generation
American in China you know be perfect and all that but it's also because I felt like if I want
to do what I want to do I can't be thought of as I obviously this is like kind of a corny word but
like like look Mr Mosby used to be like hoodlums you know what I mean like I can't even thought
into somebody that you know only causes trouble because nobody's gonna believe a word I say and
t
hat's just something I think is totally insane that I even have to I'm a kid like I don't have
to take all these things so serious like let me let me have fun like you said let's get ratchet
like it's not that deep I don't understand why we have to be like I love that you brought up the
Angela Davis thing because we're not like you know um out here doing like God's work we're just
people you know whatever not God like it's just but I want to say I I hope you feel very proud
of yourself beca
use a lot of the stuff you just talked about that is not easy and as somebody
who's been through similar things like that oh my God oh my God the anxiety the the fit you
start to really start second guessing yourself you start to wonder if you are the problem like
and it's just the worst cycle and loop and I hate I would not wish anyone so you insanely inspired
me and I I personally want to continue to do that kind of work I don't think you should ever stop
genuinely thank you so much and o
h my God like I this is my like it's so important to like be
connected with people like you like you know activists in the field too because that means so
much to me and like it's like so like it's like water to my soul to hear that you think like
you an incredible like activist and this like amazing human being like find me inspiring like
it's such like a weird thing to even think about but like that's why like Community is so important
so before you go out and be an activist just be in th
e community and just have connections and then
friends and then from there build up your activism no like you said earlier when you said my
community came with me and you mentioned your friends that's something I talk about all
the time like communities not have to be some big classroom full of people it's literally just
whoever is on your side that's all like people who want to bat for you no honestly I think that
um for a lot of people um it's just I don't know sometimes I feel kind of li
ke lonely too when
I like talk to some people that might agree with what I'm saying but don't do it which is
not something they shouldn't have to do this is not something I think is your responsibility if
anything you should be able to just exist you know you shouldn't have to do activism work you don't
want to do but it does start to feel um hard when like for example I wonder if if you we could even
kind of make this something that people can also um like opposition on a very lower social
level
not even just school and District like let's say you're in a conversation right and um you
let's say you're in a college conversation now as you know like college is insanely big you know
University is Big there's all different kinds of people from different walks of life that you'll
meet and it's going to be like as somebody for me like I am from a diverse City but I'm about to go
to a pwi and it's a lot of stress for me like I'm really really at genuinely stressed out about it
bec
ause I also came from a diverse school so I've been to Peter Wells before but not for too long
and I didn't have a good experience I'm trying really hard to be open-minded I'm trying really
really hard to navigate that but my question is how do you think you can even do that on like um
in a conversation where let's say somebody says something so out you know out of Lefty field super
out of pocket just you know problematic how do you um also deal with like opposition in that sense
like how d
o you navigate that yeah that's a really good question and honestly I think like and
I learned this from Miss Crystal from yaspa um she really like watered myself and like you
know she brought in like the human part of like activism and like the healing aspects of it and
something I've learned about from her is she has this phrase um it's not my burden to carry
so now when people bring their books to me it is not my burden to carry and as an activist I'm
not mandated to argue with them and
change their mindset and you know have them become an activist
now like that's not my job I know my activism is going to be around education I want to like get my
degree in ethics studies become a professor that's what I'm doing so if other people are bringing me
yes I'm not dealing with that like I that's that's I'm not God like it I here to fix everybody and
every single issue so I think you really need to protect your energy because I spent in high school
I spent so much effort like I'm
talking 80 of my effort trying to convince others to like be not
racist and like trying to like teach them these things and stuff but like Brad nah screw that okay
I'm done I'm done I'm not doing that that's not my job like you're not even paying me so I know what
my activism is going to be and anything outside of that is not my burden to carry I really really
love that you took that you know route instead because a lot of people will also be like well oh
my God no this is actually see ever
ything you're saying is just really resonating with me it's like
you know low-key shaving because I'm just like oh my God like let me tell you but like no I remember
a lot of times um even my own I had so I had my like my black friends from my high school but then
my middle school was like pretty pretty white so um they said it was diverse but it was like white
and then like a lot of Asian people and then after that I was like you know you know what I mean yeah
so um to me it was not as som
ebody who's been to diverse schools but I had black friends in those
pwis getting mad at me sometimes for saying stuff because they're so used to holding their tongue
and they're so used to being like dude like just you know it's not that deep like you don't
shrug it off like it's not serious and every time I would do something they were like um bro
like why are you starting stuff or um grow like uh this isn't that or this whatever I honestly
seriously thought like I actually started to thi
nk maybe I'm delusional like I was like maybe I've
only seen this for a reason and you know they're always being like uh leave it alone but it wasn't
for the reason of protect your peace protect your energy it was genuinely to not start issues which
I think intention is so important because I also have the same people some other people with
the same kind of like you know Vibe be like um why don't you just educate them and I'm like
it's not my I'm not a professor I'm not a walking human ency
clopedia okay like I don't have time to
teach every single white person I meet day to day about basic racism like I just can't do this
like I'm exhausted as is trying to deal with with eurocentric beauty standards you know being
scared of the police like think of any kind of issue regarding around race I'm already thinking
of it like I don't need to do this anymore my thing is people will also be um a little I guess
mad when for me I'm gonna be real with you I come from confrontational pare
nts therefore I am a
little confrontational okay so I grew up learning that if you had an issue you kind of just voice it
you know so if somebody in my you know Circle or group at the time would say anything problematic
you know I would respectfully be like oh it's not cool and then you know if they're like why I would
educate them because they're in my circle but if they cause more issues about that I would they
would be like oh you're just trying to start if she's not that deep it's not t
hat serious and then
I'm like why are you making jokes about low like that are such low shots why are you making jokes
that you know have to be you know not inclusive why are you doing things that like I can take a
joke I'm not somebody that thinks you have to say the right words all the time and some people are
just genuinely ignorant because they are but I'm also really sick of being scrutinized for simply
trying to educate somebody or not or you know somebody being like well why won't yo
u tell me at
the end of the day bro you know and I'm I I'm just really tired of having this conversation of like
what I'm supposed to do when I'm the one being affected you know like it's just no I'm really
glad you said that I also wanted to touch on um what's it called I know some people
um also don't really know how to go about um making that change so I know you told me
like what happened with some of the principal like with the principle and some of the staff but
are there any like cl
ear steps or like I guess overall ground rules you would suggest someone
take or do to try to let's say if they find a teacher say something really problematic and
it really upset you what is something that you would recommend people do like innocent
that's a really good question like actually I was gonna also comments on what you said but
I think it ties perfectly with this question um I remember I had this one experience where
this girl this school is just wilding out at this point like t
here's no excuse for them so they
had like different names for like different groups of like there were like four groups of freshmens
and then they had different names and I was like turtle dove and then one of them was monkey so
we had a white teacher bro I literally witnessed this it was the most frustrating thing ever a
white teacher goes monkeys come here monkeys and then a bunch of brown and black kids started
running towards her and I was like what the hell is going on and then I go l
ike read the poster
it's like monkeys were like one of the group so I was like I brought this up to like my friends
and then they were like bruh you're so dramatic like you're over exaggerating blah blah blah and
I was like how and even I brought it up so that like the principal and they're like there
were turtles like duh like it's just like um an animal like it's not we were even
thinking about that and like they Gaslight me and like made me think I was the problem
and it was very frustr
ating so in times like this this is what I recommend and this is just
like what I've learned um and I know to to go to Safe people that like I know are activists
they they hold the same values as me and to ran to them or my therapist and my therapist was
also like anti-racist so like you know either way um and I like talk it out because like I think
nothing really I mean at least for my experiences nothing good has come from like my anger solely
from like I'm in green I'm gonna yell and stu
ff so I found that the best plan is to first talk
it out or even put myself just like write out my feelings and then once I process those emotion
brainstorm a few things that I want to do and then I think about like should I do this and then
also I also consider how much am I already giving to active exam and how much energy might already
investing into my passion do I even have the time and to deal with this issue and for that issue
issue like I was already dealing with a lot with the scho
ol so I said I can't I can't deal with
it and it's not my problem to deal with it's not my burden to carry so I let that go but in other
things like with um the Aurora's Achievers I took that I was like no I want to do something so I
took like even planning out rewards Achievers took me about like two weeks so I met with a bunch
of different like activists and like really took a lot of notes and was really meticulous and
like designing it so it could be successful so it's really like my adv
ice is like before you do
anything like give yourself the space to you're hurt and like explore that hurt and heal from it
and then your activism grows from your healing no honestly I really really um uh agree with
everything you said I think we often forget the part where we actually have to take care of
our mental health because we're like you know so used to you know it could be like something we're
told but it could also be something that is part of our cultures that we grew up in and a
lot of
bipod communities Don't Preach for mental health we talked about this in another episode but it
becomes hard to feel it's okay to be victims sometimes you know what I mean like I'm not saying
you should always have a victim mindset I'm not saying that you have to actually label yourself as
one all the time but if in a certain situation you are a victim it's okay to be that because you
don't have to always be so strong and be like oh it doesn't affect me this is something that
whate
ver it is hard to deal with these things if anybody Waters it down and acts like oh
you're just it's not that deep you're just you know crying over nothing well I mean that's just
something they didn't they don't won't understand and also I've actually met people where they were
really ignorant as kids because we're kids I also remember that I'm not too hard on all the students
my age because I also understand that we all take different time to understand certain things but um
later on in l
ife then they find this passion for activism then they find this this understanding
of why certain things are wrong and right and I really like that you brought up therapy because
my therapist she is a white woman but she is also really really educated in a lot of you know
you know things regarding race so I'll be saying something and she'll be like yeah well you have
to understand like you know your culture was also um you know has preaches hustle culture because
of colonialism things like
that you know what I mean so I really recommend that if anyone wants
to do these things and make change happen that she like you said has a really strong support
system whatever that looks like because God like you really need it I'm not joking I think
capitalism and our culture recognizes that Equity is profitable so instead of doing any of the work
themselves they're putting the burden on us and they're like yeah you have to solve it go ahead go
educate them go start clubs go do this go
do that and no no we're not gonna We're not gonna like
allow capitalism into our activism like no thank you but absolutely not I'm going to do my activism
after I heal from the trauma that you've caused I I will decide if I even want to do anything but I
owe you nothing like I owe this world absolutely nothing after all you did for me now I have to
fix it absolutely not so give like you know like understand that like it's trauma like when you
face racism like racism is trauma and it's you f
ace it every single day so give yourself as
much space as you need like it took me years to like really and even to this day like I'm
still dealing with the trauma of being a black girl in school and like how much how difficult
and traumatizing that was so like if you don't heal like nothing will good nothing good will
come out of your accident your activism will actually burn out really quickly because
instead of healing you've opted to do more work so you're gonna burn out quickly so real
ly
prioritize your mental health like you said and um heal and then your active room I really
really believe that um it's just hard like even for example my mom came home last night
with a story about a racist encounter she had and it really ruined her day which I I'm not
gonna lie I was a little taken aback because my mom and dad are so used to racism now that they
constantly tell me to shake it off you know what I mean like they're like whatever like I don't
care even if I probably know
deep down they do like they at least say that but this time like she
was very open about being upset by it and in that situation when she was dealing with somebody that
I'm not gonna like get into all the specifics but point is is that she was dealing with someone
who was a supervisor for a different business um close to hers um and when they were having
issues um between those businesses like uh and it was their fault if the supervisor's fault
she was trying to figure out what was happenin
g um and he's just like totally ignoring her yelling
at her telling her she's not he's not gonna do anything about it go away whatever and I'm not
like I'm not surprised she's very much this kind of woman she was like putting she's like in her
act she's like put your hand down like treat me like a human being like I'm respecting you affect
me and she was like I know he thought that just because I was black African with the hijab and I'm
sure that you know I would be too scared because I had
an accident I wouldn't she's like I don't
even care if I didn't speak a lick of the language I would still go off on him I was like yes like I
love when I love seeing my parents do that because to me I don't I expect nothing less because it's
not fair to be walked all over on and then get in trouble for saying your piece so that's why
me personally growing up my parents definitely would get mad and you'd be like let me why are you
always in trouble like why like you just like just go to sc
hool and keep it pushing and then but
they wouldn't really get too mad because they did understand that in certain situations like
I had to say something you know what I mean yeah yeah honestly I'm like learning so much and like I
think right now what I've learned is that feminism is you existing as yourself and then when somebody
tries to step on you you step right back out like that's why like we find Megan and Beyonce
so empowering because they don't mess around like you're not I'm not g
onna mess with Megan and
like walk away like you can get stepped on so I'm really like I'm empowering myself because like as
a black girl I was really told to shut up like my entire life until like college nobody really like
listened to me everybody's just like bro you just caused so much trouble and pushed me off and like
never gave me space to like exist and so now like I'm learning like I have to stand up for myself
and I will like I love myself enough to do that so yeah do not be playin
g games with them okay like
you give them back the same crap they give you no I'm I love that she brought up Megan because
I think it's so fitting because of everything happening with the Tory Lanez trials right now
this is a clear example of how a black woman defended herself that's all she didn't she she
actually specifically said she in the beginning she didn't tell the police in the beginning
she didn't do anything because she didn't want them to shoot first and ask questions
later she
also didn't feel personally sleep with them but then the minute she speaks out
about the incident where she was shot right um not only um did many many people not believe
her but there are already rappers dissing her and saying she was lying in their own albums and
songs and it's just insane to me that there's like this is a clear um example of what happens with
opposition of like being yourself standing up with for what's right and then um literally being shut
down and this was like crazy
because this is such a clear-cut case to me I literally never thought
this would actually be a debate I genuinely not think it could be debate but you know somehow
it was so um no I I think while you protect your mental health whatever that looks like just don't
allow yourself to be walked all over on don't let life happen because unfortunately not many people
look out for us as the underprivileged you know what it means yeah and I like I love black
women especially like and there's like p
eople of color I really recommend before you step into
these places mentally prepare for resistance and they're gonna like push back like you know
racism isn't gonna be like oh my God my badly like hey like this is you know
hundreds year old Institute like um yeah like institution I don't know like
white supremacy is like a hundreds of year old um oppressor um and it's so prevalent in every
single aspect of our society so it's you're going to face backlash and if you're a person of
five-ye
ar-old black women especially they will come for your neck and and you know that's why
like I really recommend if you like you're not like especially I don't know like you need like
some point of like I like resistance and you need to know who you are and not take from that like
stand up for yourself and it's so hard to say I know like I it's easy to say but so hard to do but
I think that's why like communities like here to support you this like podcast is here at this for
you there's so ma
ny resources make sure you equip yourself with defense before you step into this
space no I I really I'm glad you brought that up there's actually um it might these might already
be answered throughout the episode but I hope um we can still get to them no I everything
you just said is leading us to the questions we were getting um about um the topic around
um opposition and like how to deal with it um so some of the questions we have um the
first one was do I have any rights as a student an
d I actually did I I went further just to
make sure but um I I already knew you did but guess where I learned that from ycd like
that um do you celebrate diversity I remember when we had one of the conventions the first
convention conference I mean I ever went to um one of the workshops I did was students rights
right and it was somebody I believe from the ASL aslu ACLU um telling us about students rights and
how they work but you have rice as a student like basically you know teachers and
principals can't
just do whatever they want to you like there are definitely clearing rules that you can bring um to
defend yourself so um I personally don't know all of them obviously but I would really recommend
looking into those but please go ahead that's yeah I that's a really good point I think I I
honestly only found out about my rights when I got suspended and then in the lawyer's office
they were like well there was a lot past that like they can't even do that well like like you
k
now they had like their evidence they had like a bunch of lawsuits already that stated that you
can't even suspend students for just stating their minds like there's so many and then even though my
like ethnic studies class and my political science class those were I learned so like school's not
gonna teach you your rights you yourself have to go out and find them okay yeah the next question
was what if my teacher uh threatens my grade why don't you take that take that one first that's
a re
ally scary one and I've actually had like I remember once I earned an A and then the teacher
really disliked me and we had got into like she created an industry like it wasn't even like
an issue like she made an issue happen and then gave me a b um and that really like hurt because
it was like dang you can really manually change my grade and I was in ninth grade when this happened
um and it was very like heartbreaking that even my work could be altered because you don't like
me um what I wo
uld say to little me um is do not let that [ __ ] happen you have rights like
they can't just be like I dislike you so I'm gonna change your grade like how should I I don't
even know if there's like loss to protect us but like I really wish at the time I know about
ycd because my city is such like a resource of like you can come in and like bring in all your
issues and like they'll really help you like gain um you know like understanding of it and like as
an adult like I mean like ycd as an
organization has a lot of resources so I wish I brought it up
to on ycd and even if ycd wasn't able to like help me there are so many other like organizations
that are here to fight for your rights um and I recommend that if this does happen to you reach
out to those organizations don't let that happen no I was gonna say number one don't let it happen
like don't don't don't accept it that's not that is not okay that's not acceptable I totally um
that's been a friend of mine for sure like I
was very scared but luckily enough most of my
issues were with like honestly with me I was careful about it for sure I was definitely careful
around it and for me a lot of the issues were more admin maybe staff that wasn't my teacher at the
time or currently ever going to be my teacher um but that is something that's a big the biggest
reason most people don't want to do any of this is because it's like this is my grade this is my
future I can't play with it right and honestly I don't blame
you I understand where that anxiety is
coming from I'm never gonna really tell somebody it's your duty to do this it's not your duty
it's not even it's something you shouldn't have to do but um I'm glad you said that the last
question though was how do you deal with anxiety of confronting many people with opposing views
trying to trust yourself more I feel like that's that's something I don't know if people say is
you know you know and you know obviously you can you know trust in God trust
in whatever you
know uh spiritually like helps you get through the day what whoever's around you for like you
know direct physical support but I also think people don't talk enough about trusting yourself
because it's so easy to start thinking that you're not enough or that you are a problem or that
you have anger issues when you're seriously is you know voicing your concerns and I think for
me one of the biggest things that's helped me get through some of the traumatizing events that have
happened in my life was just to know that I know I'm in the right or else I wouldn't have said this
or done this because I'm already an anxious person as is like I'm not going to do things to go out
of my way to cause more anxiety I do it because I know I have to like I feel a need to do it um
I have to remind myself why I did it I have to um make sure that I still view myself as a
person and not a a problem maker or you know somebody that causes problems because oftentimes
like when you'
re around enough people they will make you feel like you are a snowflake or you um
or a social justice Warrior or whatever and it's not the case yeah that's all I have to say what
do you what do you want to say that's I mean you made such great points um I just think that one
day I'd have that so for me from my experience um I have an anxiety disorder and it's really
difficult for me to even like talk to regular people let alone powerful people that disagree
so what I did was meticulously p
lan like this is everything everybody like has a different way to
deal with their anxiety but for me I had the like my agenda I knew exactly what I was going to talk
about I knew my facts I knew like planning it out made me feel like okay like he you know I have
like the foundation of this and then I can build on it and share my experience and go on but if I
ever get scared or if like I'm ever intimidated like I have like my information to fall back on
like my facts I have my plan so that h
elps a lot I actually forgot to mention I'm so glad you
brought that up it's document everything okay like I'm gonna tell you right now like that's something
I have to pick up to like do I have to make sure I had all the facts now I didn't always write it out
but I did make sure I was keeping like a mental note of everything happening everything that
was said so things that also you could improve um were wrong because like I approved it was
right right but I would say like one thing I'm str
essed about is going and meeting a professor
that's just gonna make my life hell like honestly like I'm so scared because I'm trying to really
take advantage of being in a a space and a very privileged space at that because college is not
cheap okay but like um being in a space where I can actually have open-minded discussions and I
can actually say my piece and we can learn from each other but oftentimes you just get shut
down by anyone who thinks you're too radicals that's a really good p
oint actually like and
then one thing as I said yeah do like whenever you're talking these people don't do it in person
because like in person you can't prove it so email them and then their response you can document
that and prove it and then also in college um so much better girl oh my God we don't have to
suffer no more because there are actual systems in place to make sure that like they can't do that
like they have to adhere by their syllabus they can't just change your grade like ther
e's it's
very structured and then at the end too you get to tell them and their boss exactly how they did
so there's not the incentive for them to not be so like even because I had like a professor that was
like just like for no reason and um the things he could have failed me because like I did do my work
so like he has to pass me and then also he had to read my review of him and his boss read my review
of him and they re they read my story so you don't have to fear that like anything like
High School
in below or like really scary times because you're just a kid and you don't really know what's going
on so it's very intimidating you don't understand you can stand up for yourself you know like and
then they also like minimize you a lot and they don't give you space but like in colleges they
don't mess like that so it's better it gets better thank you thank you so much for saying that that
honestly makes me feel better anyone else who's listening because that was a such a stre
ssor
for me but you know you're absolutely right um those are all of our questions um I really
really enjoyed today's conversation and I'm so glad you're able to get on to talk about it
I don't think anybody else could have done it better than you truly but um thank you so much
and I really just hope you know everything ends up being bad and you don't have to deal with this as
much anymore um and yeah thank you so much it was really honestly rewarding and healing to like talk
about it beca
use I feel like there's not too many spaces where you can just share your experience
so thank you for this opportunity if you enjoyed this podcast please consider donating to support
this work by youth activists across the country visit ycdiversity.org to make a donation or to
get involved for more information and updates check out ycd's Instagram and Tick Tock at
YC diversity along with our website [Music]
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