The Best of Steve Martin | Compilation (1969-1975)

ladies and gentlemen we found our next guest in a most unusual manner that's right because we happen to be walking through the riter area of the show and uh there he was sitting at one of our writers desks and later we found out that he actually was one of our writers it's amazing yeah and since he hasn't been paid for his work we thought we'd let him come out and uh tonight and make a few dollars that's right ladies and gentlemen Mr Steve Martin thank you as uh Tom di said I'm Steve Martin and

I'll be out here in a minute uh while I'm while I'm waiting for me I'd like to jump right into kind of a Sako baffo comedy routine this has really been a big one for me it's a one that kind of put me where I am today like to start right off this is really a big one a fabulous glove into Dove trick [Music] the napkin [Music] trick thank you thank you thank you very much well thank you thank you thank you that'll be coming out on a record pretty soon if you want down to the big one this is the one

I call the candle trick use this candle here drum roll [Music] please [Applause] [Music] [Applause] probably wondering what this is this is the Chinese mystery pagota box of the [Music] dead that's what it is here's an oldie but goodie Now ladies and gentlemen must insist on your absolute silence during the course of this next trick and Now ladies and gentlemen the toilet float trick the Mystic Oriental lighting please much better the Mystic Oriental music oh wisdom virtue Beauty truth art natu

re certainty courage Justice freedom God and [Music] immortality no infinite self of being Beyond one on true pragmatic [Music] metaphysics supposed to disappear cool [Music] it return [Music] return return return you fool head it for the [Applause] [Music] John our next performer thinks he's a man of many talents hopefully this isn't one of them yeah ladies and gentlemen the juggling fool fun fact Steve Martin all right first of all I juggle one now two you're not laughing now now three and The

Crowd Goes Wild and into the first trick this is a big one this is the over theh shoulder trick now under the leg now bounce it off my foot now this is a big one folks this is the one that really sends me away talking this is the one I call the big deal never could figure out how to end this thing now what would happen if the human race instead of having two arms had been created with one arm in the center of their body huh but all clap like this we are now watching that wonderful performance o

f Steve Martin a man who surfaced from the underground the second cousin to boredom is subtlety he crossed that thin line which is a highway to most people please welcome once again and let's sneak in in on the seventh hole of this wonderful match and watch Steve Martin Steve Mar okay we're having a good time now isn't that is that happy when you're with me it's like being a shaky Pizza all the [Music] [Applause] [Music] time everybody sing along away down upon [Music] the I just like to keep th

eir humor [Music] [Applause] [Music] Ro okay oh gosh my SHO place is untied oh I love playing jokes on [Laughter] [Applause] myself well here's something you don't often see okay I'm um I'm sure a lot of you people are wondering if if Steve Martin is my real name um whether I changed it for show business or anything like that I'm not ashamed to admit it I have changed my name and uh there's a reason for that my real name is uh see my parents had a sense of humor and my sister's name is h h h h m

y mother had go out to college for dinner and she go he that's why we got kicked out of the neighborhood so see a lot of parents forget that kids grow up and they give them kid names you know it's like oh pudding head come on over here pudding head how old are you now I'm 42 I Professor pudding head you know I tell you something names are so important if you if you have some money and you want to put it in a bank you're going to put it in a place with a big name you know like Security First Trus

t and Federal Reserve and you're going to pass on the places like Fred's Bank hi come on in I'm Fred give me your money I'll put it right here I got it for 1,500 Shake on it pal I give it back there's a I got a great dirty trick you can play on a three-year-old kid see kids learn how to talk from listening to their parents you know they hang around and when finally they get it and they go mama oh congratulations so what you do if you have a three-year-old kid and you want to play a dirty trick o

n him whenever you're around him you talk wrong so now it's like his first day in school you know and he raises his hand and may I MBO dog face with the banana patch give that kid a special test okay got [Music] turnup I have this water out here just in case you know how it is when you when you go to a party or something and you don't you don't have a drink in your hand and you feel kind of awkward just you feel like the wife of Bozo and your hands are this big and you're trying to figure out wh

at to do with them and you're going oh well how's it um what's been happening uh as soon as you get a drink you know it's like thank you see and I meet girls this way by looking cool you know what I mean it's like the important thing is a great opening line first first you spot the girl you know [Applause] [Music] yeah I make a lot of money I just bought me a new car pretty excited about it too it's Prestige car 65 Greyhound bus put a lot of money into that baby too you know put a new dog on the

side you can get up to 30 tons of luggage in one of those things yeah but I make my money in the stock market I don't know if you know anything about the stock market or not but if you do you'll appreciate this so I bought cardboard when it was 14 cents a ton and it's up to 16 cents now well let's see I bought three tons of it so that would be well you figure it out when I bought it I made a special deal where I only have to keep two tons of it at my house so listen uh you want to come over to

my place well look uh just in case hell desre is over where can I reach out thank you thank you very much thank you