don't you want don't you want don't you want don't you want it don't you want it don't you want it don't you want it don't you want it don't [Music] you Christmas Dead Light Christmas dead Christmas welcome to the deadlights Christmas special I'm your host Santa and I am elf Lesley bringing you your little mean oh no this is not a meanie this isn't a mini episode no this is a full episode my bad big old episode bring bringing you your biggest episode yet oh for sure for sure it's the holiday spe
cial uh as we already mentioned uh we're getting into the holiday spirit or a holiday spirit yeah not sure it's the one that we all think of but um yeah we're taking it to Christmas in this episode and and boy did we boy did we and we did with Santa's sleigh from 2005 written and directed by David styman Santa Claus is actually a demon who lost a bet with an Angel so he becomes The Giver of toys and happiness but when the beted is off he returns to his evil ways it's a Christmas movie it I mean
yeah it's a Christmas movie It was a kind of movie they made a film they certainly made a film I wish they didn't so I guess off the bat we should probably say that um first of all our first holiday movie of the podcast so marking that's a chapter marker first holiday film there's a lot of actual like horror holiday movies so this is the first one that we got on the podcast second note bad mov movie Bad movie alert wow terrible it's terrible yes so I guess just going into this thing if you don't
like us talking bad about movies um if you're not a fan of that kind of episode maybe go to the next one or go back to one where we're really play praising a movie because there's not going to be much of it we'll we'll have to find some positive I can think of some actually you can I can okay I fell asleep I know I know but I can think of some some positive things that we can talk about I mean quite honestly you fell asleep like a little more than halfway through the movie by that time you get
what the movie is going for so you got it you got it Mary chica yeah happy Christmas to you too you you didn't miss much oh my God it was terrible it was so nuts let's get it was really bad it was really bad but let's get into it let's get to the can the actual film making of this thing which you know I mean it is very much like a like an after school special you know very overdramatic acting very over it's like a Hallmark movie yeah almost absolutely which they have a lot of Christmas Hallmark
movies they do so this can maybe fit in line with that I mean they were talking about God and Jesus I live in hell for Christ sakes true that's why you dare not use the lord's name so indiscriminately this movie and this does go with the can because it's about the filmmakers was made by mostly Jewish people like the majority of the actors are Jewish the writer/director is Jewish as well so this like pushing hard of like Christianity down our throat kind of feels a little intentional on the part
of the director and it it was very blatant oh yeah and I'm sure that as a Jewish person when Christmas comes around this like Christianity feels like it's probably being pushed down your throat um so that had to be somewhat intentional kind of making fun of Catholicism Christianity the whole lore around Christmas oh yeah I think it is I mean um I working in customer service I did change my lingo to be holidays cuz I don't know if people celebrate I don't know what their you know religion is so u
m so that lady the the old lady that comes in and it was like and uh have a very happy holiday there Mrs T don't use that political language [ __ ] with me it's Christmas wish me Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Mrs talber thank you and go [ __ ] yourself man she was a terrible person she's really just like ticking off all the boxes of a bad person yep and and then when she dies when she gets killed by Santa um we don't feel bad no not at all not at all um and that's cool because yeah she was an
racist shitty old lady so oh my God yeah she called she called a minor a [ __ ] MH oh this movie was terrible yes going back to the script while some of the probably religious like overdramatized themes were intentional the script was definitely trying to be super quippy and like funny but a lot of it was just like potty humor or like actually offensive for no reason do you work for [ __ ] or bush never work for Bush only [ __ ] so you like [ __ ] huh cock's terrific and there was like multiple
instances where we have just a random comedic scene in the middle of just everything going on there was like that one that we're talking about and then there was that just random fart joke in the middle of the Grandpa sun I don't see any reason to commercialize Santa besides he hasn't always been that lovable poster boy for Coca-Cola oops sorry felt like the movie was actually just a bunch of Santa killing scenes interrupted by this like loose story that we don't really care about going on and i
t was it was just definitely more about Santa going around and killing people Santa slay Santa went to a strip Club mhm and started going ham went crazy oh ho killed all the men he didn't kill a single woman um he that's where he draw line but he does say he would kill children so children are on the table grown women no way oh my Lord maybe just strippers I don't know we didn't see him encounter another cuz he killed the old woman oh yeah that's true it's strippers he's got a hard stance agains
t killing strippers oh God Santa you know cuz what we learn through this movie um is that Santa is Satan's son yeah oh no that kind of is like the truth that Nick is trying to uncover is first of all Santa is actually a demon spawn of Satan literally yeah and then he lost a bet against an angel who's actually the main character's grandfather and has to be good for a thousand years but the bets off so that's why Santa's killing people and he's coming for Grandpa to get revenge what a wild [ __ ]
story what a story what a story wow I don't know how like I I actually don't know like how this movie came to be but it should be noted that the guy who plays Santa was a very famous WWE wrestler Goldberg Goldberg and um I think that to the movies credit they do use him pretty well as far as like him being a stunt [Music] [Music] person you and Sansa is supposed to be this like Jolly person and they just absolutely reversed it and but um the acting terrible I was going to say yeah there wasn't r
eally much of it oh my gosh there were moments where I thought I was like I missed I didn't un like I did not understand what they said because of how terribly delivered it was yes you want to lift home thank you no I'm sorry Nicholas I'm sorry I even came over here tonight oh looks like someone punched out Mr Green's Festival Alliance there were there were a lot of moments between those two that I think were awkward because um yeah they were I mean they were clearly Young mhm there weren't adul
ts acting as teenagers I think they were actual teenagers um yeah they didn't have much chemistry going on I think they were trying to push it but again the script was really really bad so every time that they were trying to have an emotional scene between them it was interrupted by someone having a fart joke or like being super offensive I'm as happy as a make a wish kid thanks yeah you got my number call me when you're ready for a more mature relationship yeah but you hit like a girl yeah you
kiss like a guy but yeah uh any positive notes in in the can before we get into the meat no let's get to the meat let's just get to the meat of it uh which this is going to be pretty slim too face I think cuz I was really struggling trying to like figure out what this movie is trying to say not really trying to say anything except everyone in this town hell Township that's where this takes place kind of they say on the outward that they love Christmas like that old lady you know and the pastor w
ho actually goes to the strip clubs and all this kind of stuff um everyone says that they love Christmas and that they're they're good Christians but actually everyone kind of just forgotten what Christmas is all about they're all pretty shitty people don't let this bird taste like a shoe like it did last year Let It Be tender and moist just for once yeah moist that would be nice well well something you're talking you weren't even here Pastor oh yeah baby yeah nice kids I can't wait to see the [
__ ] we got can we open our [ __ ] presents now of course go ahead kids let's see what Santa got you so yeah that's kind of what I got is that this town that on the outside seems to be so into the traditions of Christmas when you like zoom in on these people they're actually all just shitty people and are not representing what Christmas is supposed to be about at all and then if you expand that you know um America cuz there was a lot of um that's it America period my drop uh there's a lot of fl
ags you know being used to like murder and stuff like that so I'm just thinking it's like okay well it here we are saying that like we're the best freaking country in the world and look at us we have all everyone's free and it's like nice it's all just actually shitty people just taking advantage of whatever the excuse is of taking yeah pretty much yeah no I think that is it's definitely like a it's definitely like a turning the mirror on ourselves kind of movie um and especially taking into con
sideration the filmmakers I think it's it's trying to be some sort of comment on how we use these things as excuses to just be shitty yeah you're just as Looney as your crackpot grandfather tell that boob to put some Christmas decorations up so I think that that is what he was trying to kind of get at um but I think we should get to the cook because how did they actually present that yeah I mean yes they showed it they showed that people are shitty people and when people are shitty people they g
et consequences they do but that was it it was just you're bad and then Santa comes and kills you literally and then that was that was the whole [Music] movie The Cook really comes in with the acting and with the writing and those both those things truly did not deliver not at all um not all so when it comes to the Cook of it it's hard to say that it cooked it at all I mean is this even going to be a a good episode are people going to want to hear this I mean you can go I would encourage you to
go watch it for yourself to understand what we're talking about too um there are so many um movies like this yeah um like I want to say Shar NATO are the is the movie that kind of made this some genre blow up mhm this B movie movies um there there's so many that you know in retrospect it is more of a comedy movie and you're just supposed to put it on and just kind of laugh yeah uh of the sillyness of it or you can just fall asleep it makes a really nice film to um put yourself to bed yeah I don'
t think that when the people who are made making this movie were making this movie they were thinking this should definitely be on a REV movie review podcast yeah they were not thinking about that and fair I mean that that isn't what this movie is going for this movie is going for ridiculous comedy and also to your point of like like not even like be horror but during Christmas time so many Hallmark movies come out just trying to capitalize on this Christmas on the season and it's the same godam
movies coming out yeah like we already have 20 of that one that just came out so what why not just make it a horror film where Santa is the bad guy sure at least we're getting some good fight scenes Dad they were they were not that bad yeah let's get to the thrill because obviously the thrill is Santa he is our villain to this whole thing he's our villain and I honestly thought that some of those fight choreography scenes were pretty fun like it they were not only are you working with a real st
unt person um who is playing Santa um you get to play with holiday [Music] [Applause] thing a Grandpa got run over by [Music] reindeer for a evil Santa movie these fight scenes at least are entertaining they should have just stuck with them they should have just grabbed all the Santa killings and just made a movie about that and forgotten all about the other characters cuz that made no sense um what's the game that they needed to play curling curling yeah they needed to [ __ ] curl yeah I'm not
sure what went into the decision of like it was a curling competition it wasn't like a a dog sled race or something epic like that it was a it was a curling it was curling and they and the hole is Hell the hole is hell yeah like the like the target is hell yeah wow part of that lore part of that L wow wow wow you know what it's probably more on the cheaper options of being competition with a demon you know instead of like a big battle we just got a curling competition where you roll rock yeah cu
z like they were using an old man for an angel and I mean I'm just assuming he's not a WWE I'm not thinking wrestler no so they could so uh they couldn't no he would have he would have broken in half that Grandpa would have snapped in yeah there's like a big old book too mhm I love when there's like a big old book in movies yeah I just I just find that to be really I don't know it adds some realism to it MH a little bit or it just like magnifies the um the lore of it kind of makes it feel christ
my too we got a big book we're listening to stories cuz like someone took the time to like make that and and they made it look good I read that the words that were in there are actually Icelandic oh really mhm so yeah someone had to do that yeah someone had to fabricate that um the Icelandic works are so long yes they are um the signs some of the signs were so long they're like the longest signs I have seen by the road I'm like I don't even how do you pronounce that not to make fun of you all ic
elanders but beautiful country wonderful wish be there now I wish we could have watched this there that would have made it a little better I think with all the Icelandic people that uh arti artists they could have told us what was in the book I guess um yeah I I agree I did actually like that book and some of his inventions like he was kind of a kooky a kooky character yeah well I was going to call it record man but then that seemed so generic I'm GNA call it the back wax pack yeah one of the co
oky things is that the girl um gives a gift to the boy you got me a gun and then he like opened it up and it was Optimus Prime because he had shared that he wanted an Optimus Prime when he was younger and because his grandfather doesn't celebrate Christmas he's never gotten a gift yeah but still Optimus Prime does not turn into a gun no they're cars I've never seen that version of Optimus Prime and also yeah a gun like any any gun toys I'm just like see like that I think that scene is a perfect
example of what I was talking about before of they were trying to build chemistry between these two characters and I think that that actually is like a sweet gesture of getting him the gift that always wanted but the fact that you have it turned from a gun and also the fact that he uses the r word just like right out that kills all like sentimentality that we have for these two characters or for the scene and he wasn't even like we saw maybe 2% of concern he like he like looked around barely it
wasn't like oh my gosh uh a gun like what what what are you yeah like what yeah no he was just like like holding it and like about to like [ __ ] shooting he's like a gun he was pissed that she was so rward I mean those RWS are very strong you screamed it mhm yeah yeah mhm didn't they use it like twice they used it twice they use that they also use a couple other words like that's what I was saying like some of the comedy at certain point it was being offensive I think to try to be funny but in
the end it just was offensive for no reason it wasn't like it was being cleverly offensive it was they were just throwing in words like that and there was definitely some other choice words that were not PC that were just thrown in to be funny but it wasn't it was random and offensive so also like I understand you know like that was what people that's how that was the language that we used back in the day but like I never used it and also we know there are other movies in 2005 other comedies in
2005 even that don't that use those words or aren't using aren't trying to just be offensive to be funny so we know it's possible to be funny even in 2005 without doing that I gave this to sha McKenzie in '87 que when was this 2005 2005 okay so like that feels too late cuz like I wrote down it feels like the 90s yeah it the 2000 like this feels and looks like a '90s film but it's not it's like five years into the 2000s did we just like not change until like 2010 like was it the '90s for 20 years
I mean people were still obviously trying to shake I mean whoever this filmmaker was or writer probably either grew up in the 90s or the 80s or whatever and So that obviously seeps through um and I don't know it's it's always that discussion of like how much can you hold it against them because of the time but I feel like like I said before we know that it's possible even in 2005 to probably make a Santa comedy that him kill killing people without using those words because there were some other
funny parts of the movie that were just ridiculous because we have Santa killing people that's inherently funny we don't need them like throwing these offensive words or fart jokes or anything like that just have Santa kill people with that would have been satisfying enough and then they made him they made him like also kind of sexy that's why like I mentioned that there were just like a lot they were trying to accomplish um and in the script quote unquote say yeah and it just like all felt fla
t MH for sure absolutely it was just a it was just an action movie in the end which I think let's just get to the ride um and say that I think yeah in the end the best part of this movie was the fight scenes with Santa just throwing people around kicking their ass like those were the most exciting parts of the movie but it was just interrupted by a story full of pretty offensive characters that was like not really yeah it was pretty flat like it was flat um and this just goes to show how incredi
ble these wrestlers the amount of training and their work ethic is what shines in the end and especially in this film um you just he's just so cool yeah and all the scenes where he was like beating people up that was like what was cool MH they had him say though the most corniest stupidest lines of all time any any Christmas reference you could possibly think of he was throwing it out who's your daddy father Christmas Christmas can sure scare the Dickens out of people I just love how the holiday
s always seem to bring people closer together he's been he's been nice Santa for a thousand years he's been waiting to use these lines and he's just throwing every single one out there Lord Jesus yeah he was pretty much um Spider-Man you know when he like goes Spider-Man goes and beats up people and he's like your friendly neighborhood mhm you know um and he's like oh what are you doing around here should you a work or whatever I don't know I tried make it pretty good hey you know what time it i
s work time and then he kicks her ass Bam Bam Bam um so yeah that's that's how that was um yeah and honestly like of every character in this movie it makes sense for him to be that character because he is our villain and you expect Santa to just come in K kill everybody and then say a funny f Christmas quip that's it that's all he did and that's all he had to do I have a question for you yes how did you like that santis kryptonite was what was it the chestnut the chestnut I took one hit from his
Chestnut in the chest and they made some sort of joke about chestnuts on the chest um and then he was like I'm out of here y'all got me okay goodbye I'm going to go join a biker gang he retired yeah for a thousand years okay all right I mean they had to finish the movie so I'm glad they did oh God the last thing I wanted to say about this movie was I really actually like that they had a clamation scene because it's very very Christmas and it was a way to show like the lore of like what actually
happened with the angel that was that was pretty cute I appreciated the clation throw in there little Santa sleigh how scary was it how scary was it not scary not scary at all I was scared that it was made I yeah I was scared it was never going to end yeah is this not ending oh my God oh my God it keeps going is this not ending well that's how I felt when I was falling asleep I would fall asleep and I would wake up and I'm like it's still going there this was one of the shortest movies we've wa
tched too by the way it was only 70 minutes it might be it might have been the second shortest film we watched in this podcast oh my God I could have so which by the way the other the most short film that we watched on this podcast the black cat we also thought felt super long yes so God damn these short movies we got to have like a good 60-minute movie or something coming up to redeem these short ones please like a good just hourong [ __ ] scares the [ __ ] out of us and then we're like yes I w
ant to be [ __ ] scared yes I want to be scared me too all right well why don't we get these smash pumpkin rers let's do it yeah let's get let's smash this baby up do you have a number I think I do let's hear it I think it's the first time we're giving it half a star five and what was that half for the half is the fight scenes yes for me that was great I was contemplating on whether giving it a whole star but I think that would just be too generous so half a star and look we always say it I'm I'
m happy that the people came together and did this film gave people jobs um and that's what matters at the end it's just not my cup of tea yeah and you're right they made a movie which is super hard to do and I mean as far as I can tell it seems like they had a good time doing it um the fight scenes were definitely fun that is where pretty much all the respect for this movie comes from um and you know what it was a it was a different kind of Christmas movie than I'd ever seen before uh you know
what I I'll give it a one I'm give it a one a one out of five um so together it gets one and a half out of 10 out of um wow Santa slay Santa slay Santa slay he did if he can say one thing about the film he definitely slayed yeah why don't we see who's slaying next week yes Leslie you've been you've been gone for for too long so why don't you pick this one out okay and you were saying before that you want a scary one I want a scary one scary one um really or we can stay in the witchy I want the B
lair Witch Project o please is she about to pull the Blair Witch I this be the second time let's see po Gods change my strip just kidding that would be crazy okay no it's not okay a married man's one night stand comes back to haunt him when that lover begins to stalk him and his family are we about to watch Fatal Attraction yeah Fatal Attraction Fatal Attraction this movie is I really like this movie I don't think I've seen it no no oh yeah you're about to see some some crazy stalker [ __ ] fun
stuff fun stuff no Supernatural no Supernatural we're getting a psychological Thriller in this one for sure that's scary it's scary you know is scary well damn well damn cool it's another classic too actually that's with uh jammie uh it is Michael Douglas and Glenn Close is the is the crazy stalker and she is scary scary very scary very scaryy well all right cool well awesome nice catch you next week we have a number way to call we would love to hear your thoughts on this movie please call on ot
her movies we reviewed and just anything at all spooky stories you used to call me on myself and that number is 773 669 6677 yep and you can follow me on Instagram color me lesie and me at BB and us at the deadlights Pod also check out playground social to the studio that we're recording this for but until next time next time let's get spooky ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
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