- Over the last six months, my whole entire energy has
changed in a very positive and powerful way from the
way that it used to be and I believe it has to
do with this technique that I'm about to share with you that I believe will
profoundly change your life if you do this little meditation exercise for the next 21 days. And 21 days is just a way of wiring it in. But let me share with you a
little bit about who I was before I learned this technique and a little bit about who I am now that I've b
een applying this technique for over the last six months
now, four to six months. And it is something that is very simple, but when you begin to do it, you begin to feel completely different. People begin noticing the
energetic change in yourself. You'll begin carrying
yourself in a different way, setting boundaries will be very easy where you used to feel
pulled in and feel the guilt if you didn't do something
someone else wanted you to do. And it changes absolutely everything. I learned it fro
m my
shadow integration coach. That's what I call him,
shadow integration coach. He taught me that it's a Zazen
technique is the name of it. It's like a mindfulness typa
body awareness technique. And it makes all the difference. So, where I was before I
learned this technique, I call it the frame technique. That's just what I'm gonna call it. And that's what you're gonna learn. And we're gonna actually do
this together in this video, we're gonna do this
little activation exercise that you can co
me back
to for the next 21 days, and see how different your energy is. Now, before the way that I was and the way I showed up in
the world is that I was hyper, like I was hyper attached to
what people thought of me. I was very sensitive to
other people's energy. I could pick up and know what
other people were feeling and there was this desire that
I had to please other people, some people call this a people pleaser. And while there were
certain contexts is like, I have my business, I make
YouTub
e videos, I'm very focused. There were certain contexts as to where I'd fall into
other people's frame. That means what they would want me to do. And I would find that
this sounds kind of weird, but I would attract people into my life, that was a reflection of
my old childhood wound of the whole ex stepmom situation. If you don't know my story, I had an abusive ex step-mom in my life, from seven to 16 years old, who was mentally, physically,
emotionally controlling. So I always had someone in my
life that had a very strong frame
and I felt safe in that. So I would attract people into
my life that would in a way, take advantage of me, or
establish their frame, and I would stick around even
though it wasn't beneficial for my energy or I'd feel drained because I was getting that
sense of safety out of it. I was getting a sense of
connection and validation out of it because I didn't deep
down validate myself, and I didn't know where
my boundaries were. So if somebody reached out to me and
said, "Hey, come, let's go do this." And I was like, "No, I
don't really wanna do that." They'd say "No, come on and do it." I would then go do it, and that would like show
my weak frame in a way. Whereas when you have a
strong frame of reality, people pick up on this, you have a more magnetic quality, it's in a way like whoever
has the stronger frame, is the person that's leading. If you have a weak frame, you are going to be a leaf in the wind around everybody else. Now what happens a lot of t
imes too, when we talk about this, just to give you the awareness of this is what happens is people that are highly sensitive or empathic, what happens is when they were
kids, when they were younger, they went through some type of trauma, where they had to tune themselves to their outer environment. Maybe they had to tune themselves
to their mom or their dad, and what happens is if they
weren't getting their need met, needs met, they would then
tune to the other people to try to make them
happy
and to help them. So it's almost instead of the mother and nurturing the son or daughter, it's like the daughter or
son tries nurturing the mom in some way, and being
there emotionally for them. And what happens is that's when the people pleaser mentality starts. But also what happens is there's a feeling of not feeling safe in
the bottom three chakras, and what happens is then sensitive people or empathic people move up
to the third eye chakra, where they can very easily
tune to everybody else.
So then what happens, is it's hard to set boundaries because you feel what
everybody else feels. You literally think that what other people are feeling about you, is about you. Versus knowing this new mantra that I've been talking a lot
about in my podcast channel and even on YouTube, it's
oh, that's your not mine. That's what I've been saying a lot. Because a lot of people, now, of course, you're not doing that for every little thing. Maybe some stuff you do
take responsibility for, but more o
ften than not, if you're an empathic person, you're taking on other people's stuff, you're finding it your responsibility. And you're so tuned into your third eye that you're connecting to everybody else, but you've lost yourself in the process. So, the key and the difference for me is understanding this one concept. The body is this subconscious mind. Now what happens is being in
your own frame of reality, which means you're leading in your life, which means that you're
focused on yourself as w
ell as other, but you're filling up your own cup, being in your own frame
and in your own body, are the same thing,
they're the same thing. So the more you bring your
energy into your body, the more you're going to
be in your natural frame. And when you've went
through trauma growing up, maybe you went through abuse
or some type of trauma, you escaped your lower chakras and went into the upper ones, and now you're super sensitive, but the key is getting more into your body so that you feel more
safe. Now, now that I've done all this, and I've done this meditation technique I'm about to share with you, I have no problem setting
boundaries with people. Now here's the thing. I don't even need to set
as many outer boundaries because I have a level
of inner boundaries. Outer boundaries is where I have to say, "Hey, this isn't okay
I do not accept this." That's an outer boundary
that you have to lay. An inner boundary is
where you feel that energy within yourself and you have
enough self-lov
e and self-worth that people don't even
think of crossing that line. So you don't even have to say anything. So the difference is when I used to walk, I tell this story a lot. When I used to go to the down
the street from my house, I would go to a walking trail
and I'd be walking around, I'd see people. If I was in a mood where
I didn't necessarily wanna say hi to people or something, I would still be out of
like this kindness mentality to be like, "Oh, hey, how are you?" And it was this kind of
desperate
energy that you could feel after I started doing this, and after I did this for a couple months, I was so, and really, it
was only a couple of weeks. I was so in my body, and I
didn't feel a need to like, say whatever wasn't authentic. Now I value authenticity versus before I was valuing validation. And trying to please, thinking that that's where I got my value. Now I get my value from being me. And I've noticed that I've
become more polarizing since I've gone through this because I
don't care what people think. I also noticed that
it's just natural for me to lead in my life. My whole business transformed
to where I started leading. It was almost like I was
waiting for somebody to do like I was waiting for some
type of guidance or something. All of a sudden snapped into
place, started taking action. I have an app coming out, I have all this cool stuff happening. And it became once I started leading, once I started getting
inside of my own body, the boundaries were easy to s
et. I became more polarized
and I stopped caring what people thought it was
just completely different. I saw friends that I used to
hang out with and they're like, "Wow, your energy is very different." And the reason it's different is because I'm actually being
me and I'm in my own body. And there's a level of gravity to that. That becomes very powerful. So, that's the difference between the two. Now the bridge to that is this exercise that I wanna share with you right now. And what we're gonna
do is
we're going to tune a little bit of music in the background, and what I'm asking you to do, is to just know, let me
explain the technique first, and then we'll do it together. So basically what you do, is
you stare at a candle flame that is a couple of feet in front of you. I have been staring at a
candle flame since 2012, just in general and observing my thoughts, I find fire to be a very powerful
way of centering the mind. I noticed that when the mind
wanders or the eyes wander, the mind
wanders. So when you keep your eyes on one point, you become very focused, when I'm making videos and
I'm staring into the lens it's very easy for me to focus because my eyes are going
like this all the time. If I go like this all the time and try to do the video it's very hard, do you ever see that meme where it's like the person, what is it a
video, what it's called? But it's like, firstly,
going back and forth, it was like a Snapchat filter
or something like that. But it'd be hard to
think y
ou're doing that. Now, what you do is what my
shadow work integration coach told me to do. And it's so simple that you
almost don't wanna do it 'cause it seems too simple,
but this is what you do, and this is what we'll
walk through right now. What you do is for five
minutes or 10 minutes a day, you stare at a candle flame. You observe your thoughts, but what you do is on the in breath, you bring the awareness into your body. You could do this sitting down, you could do this cross-legged, but yo
u're staring at the candle flame, and what you do is, as you are
staring at the candle flame, you are observing your thoughts, but you're also bringing the
awareness inside of your body. So let's do this real quick
let me go grab a candle flame I'll be right back. I'm back I found the candle. Now what we're gonna do, is with this a couple
of feet in front of you, you're gonna stare at the candle flame. Now, what you want to do, is as you are staring at the candle flame, you are bringing the awar
eness, and the awareness into your body. And this is gonna sound
kind of counterintuitive to many people. But what you do is you
actually feel on the in breath, the separation between
you and the candle flame. Normally what happens is
you feel the connection with everybody else we do these
meditations that's powerful, but this is powerful
for a different reason. You see what happened
when you become empathic or highly sensitive, is you've
lost your sense of self, you felt more safe into
other pe
ople's frame. So what you're doing now is you're bringing the
awareness into the body and you're bringing to
the awareness into self. And you are feeling the separation between you and the flame. Now you and the flame are both connected and separate at the same time. When you were a baby
what happened or a kid, you felt the separation, but then at a certain
point you felt connected and then you didn't feel safe for you to feel that separation, or you felt isolated and
you didn't like that feelin
g so you kept recreating it. Or what you would do is
try to attach yourself to other people and that's
when attachment starts. So the key to this is knowing
that on the in breath, what you're going to do, and we're gonna walk
through this right now, you're gonna feel the
awareness inside of your body, and what you're gonna do is
you're gonna put that awareness in your left leg, your right
leg, your torso, your heart. And then what you're gonna
focus on is feeling the space in between you and the
flame. You're gonna feel this
space in between you and the walls around you. You could even feel the space between you and some other people in your life that you wanna establish boundaries with. But basically as you
get more into your body, and as you feel the separation, you are taking the energy back inside. So what I would do on that
walk that I told you about where I would then go and instead of being the people pleaser, I would go and just be in my own energy from doing this exercise
and
feeling the separation when I pass people, they would be magnetized
to wanting to say hi to me, not that I was trying to
do it for that reason, but I was just grounded
there's an attractiveness, a magnetism to be in grounded
to be in your own energy. When you're tuning
yourself outside of you, people feel that. And it's like you're
projecting energy at them. When you put the energy inside
people feel that gravity, and it's a very attractive
and it's very centered, and you feel better while you d
o it. So the key to this is on the in breath, you feel the separation, and on the out breath you relax and you feel the environment,
you feel the connection. This is a shadow integration
technique as well. But basically what you're doing, is on the in breath
you're also very clearly staring at the flame. On the out-breath you're
still staring at the flame, but you relaxed your gaze and
you put it on the peripheral. You put it on the peripheral. I can't say peas because
this thing will shut off.
So, on the out-breath, you're going to focus on the peripheral, but you still stay focused here just so you kind of relax your gaze, and on the in breath, you focus very intently
on the flame itself. So, this is the exercise
that we're gonna do. I'm gonna guide you through it right now. So right now let's take a
deep breath in and relax, take a deep breath in. breathe it out. Feel your body begin
to relax more and more. Let's set the intention right now that every one of us feels
more centered i
n our body by the end of this
exercise than ever before. Knowing that the more we do this exercise, the more centered we feel, and
the more authentic we feel, the easier it is for us to set boundaries, to feel self-worth, and the easier it's gonna be
for us to be in our own frame. So let's set that intention right now. And now, let's take another deep breath in and then stare at the flame, breathe it out, as you breathe out, feel
the energy begin to move now into your hands, into your feet, into
your legs. With every breath you take, feeling your body relax more and more, put the awareness now in your
left arm, your left hand, feel it loosen up, and relax. Put the awareness in your
right arm, your right hand, feel it loosen up and relax. Put the awareness now in your head, feel your mind beginning
to melt and relax, and feel the muscles behind your eyelids begin to loosen up and relax. If there's any tension in your jaw feel it loosen up and relax. Now put the awareness in your heart.
I'm gonna count down from three to one, with every number I count down, feel an increase of vibration
inside of your heart, it may be subtle at first, but feel it begin to grow more and more as you do this exercise three, imagine a ball of energy in your heart is spinning faster and faster
any color that you like. And imagine that the faster it spins, the more you feel this energy, the more you feel this
buzz inside of your body, inside of your heart, two, doubling that sensation
inside of your
heart now feeling it increase more and more, knowing that you're sinking
more into your body right now than ever before. And one, feel that energy
increase more and more doubling that sensation of love, feeling more present than ever. And now, as you stare
at this candle flame, on the in breath, what you're going to do is focus very intently
on the flame itself, and then feel inside of your
body and feel the separation between you and the flame. If you're staring at a flame
right now, a live fla
me, then feel the separation
between you and that, if you're watching this video, then feel the separation
between you and the flame and the screen. So let's take a deep breath in, with every breath you take in, you're feeling that separation, you're feeling safe
inside of your own body. And then as you breathe it out, you can relax your gaze and
focus on the peripheral, focus on around the flame, and feel connected to your environment. So with every breath in, you
are feeling the separation, an
d you're feeling the safety
inside of your own body, and on the breath out, you
are feeling the connection between you and the environment. So you're constantly bringing
the awareness back inside, and outside, inside and
outside, inside and safe, and then feeling the
outside and connected. And as you do this exercise, you are beginning to feel
the energy go more and more into your bottom three chakras set the intention right now, that you bring the energy
down into your root chakra, at the base
of your spine. Imagine that there is a
red ball of energy there. Now put the awareness
there, and on the in breath, let's take a deep breath in,
and let's feel the separation between you and your root chakra, you feeling the energy
there and the flames. So let's take in a deep breath, and then on the out-breath
relax and look at the peripheral and feel the connection
to the environment. Now let's move up to the sacral chakra, an orange ball of energy above and close to your belly button. This ch
akra represents your connection to family members, friends, this is your relationships, and what you can do is
begin to feel the beauty and the safety of you
feeling in your own body. Let's take a deep breath
in through our nose now, and feel inside of this
location in our body, breathe it out and feel that connection. Maybe bring someone in your mind that you wanna create boundaries with. You can still have a love for them, but maybe you need to create
a little bit of separation, energetic sepa
ration, non the in breath, imagine this person
and feel the separation between you and them, on the out breath let it relax and feel connected to your environment. With every breath you take, you're feeling more
centered in your body now, take another deep breath
in and do it again. And now let's move the energy
up to our solar plexus, a yellow ball of energy
that represents our purpose, our willingness to go out into the world, and live who we really
are, our willpower center. Let's take in a d
eep breath
now and feel that separation between the flame and our solar plexus, between our heart and our belly button, and on the out breath feel the connection to your environment. One more breath in to feel the separation between you and the flame. Connection, and now,
let's set the intention that with every breath we take, we're more inside of our body, we're feeling the separation. And what we do is with the next breath, I'm gonna remain silent,
but on the in breath, you're gonna feel in yo
ur body, and you're going to feel this
separation between you and me, the separation between you and the flame, the separation between
you and everyone else doing this exercise. And then on the out-breath, you're gonna feel the
connection to everything else. So in breath separation,
and in your body out breath, peripheral and connection
to your environment, and you could even feel the separation between you and your walls in
your room, you and your desk, you and your wherever you are right now.
So, let's now I'm gonna remain silent and we'll just focus on this energy, (gentle music) you may be doing this
and you may also feel different emotions come up in your body. As you bring the awareness
more in your body, and whatever comes up, it's perfect. You're integrating and
you're allowing emotions to surface and clear allow
whatever comes up to come up. (gentle music)
(breathing heavily) With every in breath you take, you're bringing the awareness
more into your body, and you're establish
ing a
strong frame within yourself. A feeling of safety, take
another deep breath in, you are safe, you are strong. It's an amazing feeling
to be in your body. It's an amazing feeling
to be in your own frame. From this point going forward, you will feel more confident than ever. You may have some emotions
that come up to be clear, just witness them, observed
them, and feel them, allow them to come up. You are integrating back into your body, and as you feel more safe in your body, you're gonna f
eel more
safe in your reality, you'll develop more of a gravity, more of a magnetism than
you've ever had before. You'll notice that you care
less about what people think, that you fill up your own cup. You are still mindful of other people, but you do it from a place of empowerment, not a place of transactional energy, where you wanna get something
from it like validation or support, or love, you are
worthy for just being you. Separation is a beautiful thing. And as you start feeling in this, y
ou're gonna be more
empowered than ever before. Set the intention right now
that from doing this meditation for the next 21 days, your
life is forever changed. And you were more in your
frame and in your body than ever before. Let's take another deep breath
in right now to wire it in, and then let's do an Om, the Om frequency is a
high vibrational energy that we can use to wire
in this version of us. So first let's take a
deep breath in and out, (breathing heavily) and with one more breath, what
we're gonna do is we're going to Om and wire in this higher vibration, let's feel the separation
between you and me, but also feel the connection as you're doing the Om between you and everybody else doing this, knowing that you are now
establishing a strong frame. And from this point going forward, you will be forever changed. So, take a deep breath in, (humming) listen to this meditation for 21 days, and watch how your life begins to change. This is what I did four to six months ago and my wh
ole entire life has changed now and all I did was what you just did. Consistency is where the results come. You'll notice people treat you different, because you treat you different. And that's the key to
this frame technique. So with that, go throughout your day knowing you're gonna have
an amazing day today, you are empowered, and you were unique
person that can feel safe in your own body, have a great day.
Comments
“Read for the mind, exercise for the body, and meditate for the soul.”
I’m a therapist and this is a wonderful skill for me and my clients. Thank you!
Exercise begins at 12:29 🥰 Thank you Aaron! This exercise is magical! ❤️
Your frame technique changed my life. I had left my ex narc and had a complete loss of self and I was wayyyy out of my frame. I had so much shame and feelings just stuck and suppressed. As I did that frame technique for 21 days it changed my life Aaron. It was really tough at first, as I did the frame technique the first week or two I released a lot of stuck energy and feelings and cried and cried as I brought the energy back. But it literally helped me to be able to talk to people again slowly. I had been isolated for so long with my ex narc. Again, I couldn’t thank you enough Aaron. This really helped me so much.
I am on day 5 I feel more grounded already this makes me feel safe in my body Edit : 19 days so far and i feel more grounded and more expressive of my feelings Edit : 32 Days i feel more grounded although some events trigger me but now its so easy to tell truth and be honest in all situations that i have encountered Edit : 77 Days this meditation is gone beyond everything i thought it would do, life has become more playful and i have become less reactive to events as compared to before . Being Centered is amazing and beautiful.
Im on day 19. Havent even finished the full 21 days. In the 6 years ive been practicing meditation, last night I experienced a Kundalini type experience for the first time ever whilst doing this technique. I first experienced sadness and wept like crazy throughout the whole thing. Then did my own silent meditation for 10 mins. During this 10 mins i experienced total calmness and bliss state. My whole body then heated up and i sweated profusely. I was a bit shakey afterwards but then slept like a baby. I cant even describe the high i experienced, it was like i was in tune with the vibration of love. Not to mention how much my confidence has sky rocketed these past 2 weeks. Ive attracted a lot of attention and have never felt so brave to speak up, stand in my truth and authenticity. There is no coincidence. This meditation has transformed me ❤
Thank you Aaron for this life changing meditation. I have a memory from around 7 years old where I remember looking down at my hand and feeling like it wasn’t mine. I didn’t feel in my body anymore and obviously at the time I had no idea why. At 6 years old I had begun to suffer psychological abuse. Now at 34 I have heard you explain this technique today and the reasons why we have maybe left out bodies, to live more in our minds and it’s like you have solved a huge mystery in my life. I practised this video and the effects were Instantaneous. I felt my legs! I felt me and the separation to the grass I was sitting on. I realise I have blurred into my environment all these years, moulding myself to others energy to feel loved and approved of. Today I stand on my own two feet (and can feel them!) and I really feel here, as me, for the first time. You truly are an angel here to help SO many people. I want you to know you have changed my life. Sending love and gratitude from the U.K ❤️
This technique has completely changed my life 😭 in the beginning I thought I give it a try as I struggle to set boundaries with other people. Two weeks into practicing it, 1-2x a week, I noticed having more energy and the ability to evaluate situations more rationally. For example one time at my workplace I had been given the wrong key to open the store and the customers were queuing in front of the store and being really mean and upset, but I did not take any of that personally and just thought things like that can happen. And just yesterday my ex boyfriend introduced his new girlfriend, which would have crushed me a year ago or so, but this time I thought this does not affect me the slightest as I give myself the love and validation I need and I just wished them all the best from a kind hearted place. So thank you so much Aaron for sharing this with us! 💖☺️
I got to a point where my inner child started screaming “Help me! I’m so alone! Why won’t anyone help me”. So confronting but it’s not like I haven’t always known this is where my journey was leading. I’ve always been too scared to dig deep and find what’s buried but after 43 years of hurt I can’t stop hiding. Every day hurts. Every relationship hurts. I need to dig and heal. Once and for all. Aaron you are amazing. Thank you for your help. You are so calming and even though we have never met, and never will, I felt safe enough to continue- and i promise to myself and you and everyone around me and in my future that I will continue this for at least 21 days. I’m so excited to see where this goes. Namaste 🙏🏻
Sending love and good vibes to everyone going through a spiritual awakening right now ❤️💫 You are not alone
Yessss! Day 18, the separation/connection vibe is feeling so natural now! Biggest change is that separation doesn't feel bad anymore in the meditation and throughout more of my life. I have been caring less what other people think and more able to put my own thoughts out. Just feel more solid. I am also learning about ending codependent behaviors and how to validate and encourage myself in my thinking. Big shifts. Thank you to Aaron and this community for this meditation.
I love that you’re not trying to sell us anything. Just making sense of concepts, trying to help. That’s why you’re legit
Been doing this daily for 50+ days in a row now.. definitely feel more organic flow to my life. 10/10 recommend to at least TRY
I did it for 21 days and still doing it. You saved me❣️I'm 100 % sure that this meditation played a big part in me being able to leave my narcissistic partner. I'm finally free and I feel more alive than ever before. Thank you ❣️
I'm on day 6 of this. Kind of paradoxical how the separation actually brings you closer to people .. ❤
Boundaries are very important! Staying in your frame and feeling your body instead of consistently being in your mind! It has worked for me to maintain my energy ✨💡🌸
You just helped me figure out why I've been so attracted to somebody for the last 14 years He is grounded in his own energy... Where's I jump around in my people pleasing.. I look at him with a sense of awe that he can just be so calm cool and collected. . I want that for myself..
I swear, I feel like I manifested this. I've done all of Aaron's meditations and have been doing the Frame Technique for the last 6 days. This meditation video will help immensely.
The first time I did this meditation with you I literally felt fear flood in and I realized how unsafe I feel in my own body due to childhood and adult trauma. This trauma caused me to look to others to lead causing me to find my sense of safety in other people's frames; those to whom I valued their validation of me. As I continued with you to complete the meditation something shifted where to my surprise I started settling in and feeling safe. Remarkable! I'm doing this for 21 days and can't wait to witness the results. Thank You!!
9:15 Stare at the candle flame, bring the awareness into your body. On your in-breath, you feel the separation between you and the candle flame. You're bringing the awareness into self. You and the flame are both connected and separate at the same time. Feel the space between you and the flame, the wall, the people in your life. On your breath out, look at the peripheral, feel the connection between you and the environment. Bring the energy into the bottom 3 chakras. 12:30 He guides us through a meditation