The Kapil Sharma Show 2 | Anchors ने Show में जमाया रंग! | Anjana Om Kashyap | Ep 304 | 18 Feb 2023

Thanks for your love. Please take your seats. Archana, you look lovely. Thank you. - You know what's the news today? - What? In that, they were telling how much our one episode costs. - How much? - So much interest! [laughing] She loves gossiping. [laughing] It's not only your problem. Everyone has this problem. Hmm. Everyone likes to know about something. You just call someone and say what's up. What's new? Then the silence. That's it, what's new. I mean, everyone needs news. Look at the people

who are retired, those who have handed over the business to the children and have retired from the job, they wake up in the morning, then think, what to do now. They don't look for their glasses first thing in the morning. They look for the newspaper. Yes. Right? Although these are the people who have seen all the news at night on TV. They check in the morning whether what happened at night is printed properly or not. [laughing] And many people just see if anything happened after sleeping and b

efore waking up. In between! These are retirees who haven't updated their glasses numbers for ten years. They need updated news. [laughing] Seriously, if the number ever goes up or down, they don't get it changed, they look at the newspaper back and forth. 'Oh boy, how did Virat Kohli's beard turn white so quickly?' 'Uncle, it's not Kohli, it's Rajamouli.' 'Oh, Rajamouli.' [clapping] 'From which team does Rajamouli play?' 'RRR.' 'Rajasthan Royals.' [clapping] We have followers of all kinds of ne

ws. Many are interested in international news. So that they get to know about Biden's secret. 'What will be Putin's next step.' And many like me, they can see anything. 'Aliens come and drink buffalo milk in the night!' [laughing] There are so many channels. There are these small portals too. Nowadays, people start their news channels with mobile on social media. No matter what the news is. 'Farmers played Honey Singh's songs' 'to protect their crops from wild animals.' [laughing] This is real n

ews, I'm telling you. - Really? - I read it in a paper. Oh my God! You can notice at the time of election, every person has the same curiosity that which party is getting how many seats. These are those people who are not even given a chair to sit in the house, but they want to know who is getting how many seats. They look at all the channels. They keep watching the channel on which their favourite party is showing maximum seats. 'Now this is good.' So what I want to say is that we all need the

news of every moment and of every day. And today, three such superstar news anchors are coming among us, whose every program is watched by the audience with great interest. Give a big round of applause! Please welcome Sweta Singh, Anjana Om Kashyap, and Chitra Tripathi. Welcome, mam. Welcome. [clapping] Welcome, Chitra. Big applause for our superstar anchors! - Welcome to all three to our show. - Thank you so much. Thank you very much for accepting this poor guy's invitation. Oh my! I don't know

why I am getting scared. Because we have always seen them serious. You all look so lovely. - Thank you so much. - It won't matter. Did you spend the same amount of time today getting ready as you do for your news program? Or took a little longer for the pleasure of meeting me? - Yeah, a little longer. - A little longer, Mrs Tripathi. Thank you. You are most welcome. Please come. - Have a seat. - Thank you. Big applause. Every day, different guests face their questions. And they get nervous. Tod

ay I'm going to ask the questions, and I'm the only one who's nervous. That's because ten people sit in their programs, and they shut them up. 'You shut up! You carry on.' [laughing] Does it ever happen that where you live, some lady comes and says come for 2 minutes, my mother-in-law is not keeping quiet? [laughing] Please shut her up. Do you ever get such a request? After coming from the studio, I become completely silent for some time. I don't feel like speaking when you speak so much. Please

look into the camera and tell this to my wife. When I go home after the show, she comes and tells me that I want to talk to you. And I'm like, I will. Hmm. She thinks I don't want to talk. But after talking so much, I really don't feel like talking. He is right. Thank you. Now that you've said this, she will accept it. [laughing] I have seen many times when the debate is going on a news channel then she says there is a paucity of time, there are others too. Now finish it in 10 seconds. If someo

ne starts praising you in such a situation, do you tell him that it is okay, you can speak for two more minutes? No... [laughing] You don't get much time by praising. Time. Only this much is done by praising that it is okay, you have spoken a line, now go ahead and answer it. It's a serious medium, and not the Kapil Sharma Show. Yes, you are right. 'That you are praising, so it's okay'. I saw in a show that director Imtiaz Ali praised Anjana's earrings. Then she started laughing. After that, did

you notch it down a little or did you keep the same attitude? Attitude is always the same. Have you seen the earring video? - Yes. - Good research. We also have one or two. [laughing] We have a huge team of research of one person. He is the one who tells us. They have a lot of knowledge on every subject because they do research and study. And they are so pretty. Those who do not want to watch the news, they, too, stop for two minutes on the channel. They can also read the paper. Look, the chann

el's strategy is so good. They all work on Prime Time. Anjana on Halla Bol, Chitra on Dangal, and Sweta on Dastak. From 6:00 pm to 10:00 pm, you cannot even move. I'm not joking. Sometimes you also tell such news that cylinders have become expensive. No one feels bad. He is like... Such a beautiful anchor is speaking, so what difference does it make even if 20-25 rupees increases? I mean, your words matter so much. The way you are staring at me. I am getting scared. You talk about so many seriou

s issues so hasn't it ever happened that you burst out laughing while talking? Happens to me. Some speakers do so many ridiculous things that sometimes you can't stop laughing. So my producer sees from PCR that now she is going to burst, so he would take me off the air and shows the guest. Sometimes it happens in the middle... We don't have mobiles here. But when we're doing a live bulletin, we have a mobile. If you do not go near any guest, then he messages in the middle that comes to us, - you

have not come here. - Really? - It happens a lot. Then we don't read their messages, and we leave them. But call again later because they get rotated again and again. Then we say, 'sorry, sir, we couldn't see. Live anchoring was on.' So sometimes you also reply that uncle, wait for 2 minutes. What happened? Your turn will come. I have messaged Anjana many times in the middle of the show, and she reacted to the guest at that very moment. Yes, I look at my mobile at the show. I read messages as w

ell. I respond as well. Look, it's that kind of a profession. Many times you enter the office at 6:00, and you keep your mobile outside, then it happens that at 6:25, there will be some other news. - Actually. - So we have to get connected. Election time. At that time, we get inputs at every second, and we have to react at that and tell it on air. Sometimes it happens that someone is narrating very enthusiastically, 'Anjana, I am in Jammu from this or that place...' And at that time, if you get

any other big news, then you shut him up, 'We'll talk later. It's a breaking news from Baramulla...' [clapping] Anjana, hasn't someone ever told you that you're sweet. Why do you become so aggressive on camera? You were talking nicely to me a while ago. Then you started shouting. It often happens. Actually, there are two aspects to a person, personality and attitude. - Yes. - The personality depends on you. But attitude depends on the person in front of you. - They define your attitude. - Yes. [

clapping] When members of different parties arrive, and you guys debate does anybody try to get friendly before the debate? Offer you some tea so that you're nice to them. - Everybody tries to get friendly. - Okay. But you must reach at the last moment so that nobody gets a chance to get friendly with you. - You walk straight into the studio. - Yes. Final assault. We're getting the inside information. So that we can be prepared if ever invited. [laughs] Dinesh, my college friend, playing the gui

tar. He was asking me that all the main anchors are here today so is the news going on or have they replaced it with shehnai concert? [laughs] No, our bosses asked us the same thing. Who is going to manage the show here if you all are gone? We were invited by a special man. - Thank you very much. - Aha! [clapping] But seriously, news has changed a lot. We enjoy it a lot because the style has changed. Earlier, in the news, the anchor's face had no expression. Whether India won the World Cup or lo

st it. Today, India defeated Sri Lanka by 35 runs. It seemed like the news didn't matter to her. [laughs] That's how it was. Wasn't it? They would read it slowly. Snowfall in Kashmir, the roads are blocked, disturbing people. As soon as the news starts these days, there's a glass-shattering sound like this and the headlines follow. Kashmir freezes! [laughs] If we want to get into acting, we idolise an actor. Since I'm into comedy, I idolise a comedian. Whom did you idolise? We were fans of each

other. [laughs] - Wow! This is awesome. - That's why we're here. Keep all the praises limited to your channel. Good! You conduct your programme well. On award shows, we find sponsors and we have to add their tagline. Vimla Pasand. Every grain is powerful presents best actor award 2023. You have to say Dainik Churan. It cleanses your stomach presents Halla Bol. Does that happen? - No. - No. But it does appear along with your name. I was wondering that it's a creative job too. Often, I've seen tha

t when the news is going on, Ads appear at the bottom. For example, an old building collapses at Shastri Nagar. There's an ad at the bottom. This rod is strong. [laughs] Your programme is superhit. You keep travelling. Meet different kinds of people. Have you ever met a person who earns money so comfortably? No. Look. - You... - I was talking about the man - behind you. - Shut up! He is seated and works in the share market. Why do you always take it personally? After every 15 minutes, you circle

back to me. Listen to me. Speak carefully today. There are three women sitting there and one here. It's a women's union. Thank you for calling yourself a woman. Or else... If you meet her husband, you will feel she's the husband when they stand together. She is dominating. He's 6'2". He's so broad. How can he look like a wife? His attitude. Just like they mentioned. [laughs] Normally, when you're hungry and you don't get to eat, it irritates you to work. It's your lunchtime. - Hmm. - And you ge

t a call about breaking news. You will have to shut your lunch box or maybe you don't have time for that as well. - It often happens. - Have you ever been irritated while reading the news? No, we're aware that we have to go in case of breaking news. So, we are prepared for it. Recently, during the UP elections in 2022. It must be 7:15 in the morning. I just came out of the washroom. I had to wear a jacket and run for the 8 AM show. The water spilt at 7:15 and I didn't realise it. I ran and fell.

I started bleeding here. Then it struck me that who will anchor the show? It's UP elections. I have to do it. Anjana and Sweta are not around. I wanted to cry. You know how girls are. They become emotional and cry. So, I controlled myself. Because there was a bulletin at 8. Once that's over, I'll cry. - Aww. - I controlled myself. The cotton that I had to remove makeup I used that to cover, wore a full sleeve and went ahead. While anchoring, I was bleeding. I could feel that it was bleeding. Bu

t I wasn't allowing myself to feel it yet. Or else, I will cry and the viewers will find out. I finished the 2.5 hours bulletin. Immediately, I started crying. The cameraman came close and asked me what happened. I showed it to him. They took me to the hospital. I didn't share it with anybody until then. I will get office calls to show sympathy. As soon as someone asks you about your well-being in crisis, you start crying. Human beings need someone to rely on. It's not as easy as it seems. You g

et a call informing you about breaking news. How does the caller know? - Our boss. - Yes. In every room in his house, there is a wall only with TVs. And he is always on the phone. Whenever you message him, he responds so we get the call. He asked us to take his name. - Please. - Mr Supriya Prasad. Supriya, I know him. So, I'm taking his name so that he can hear it. [laughs] Recently, I went to Haldwani. I was returning and it was around midnight. It was freezing in Delhi. I finished 7 hours of t

ravel worked there all day, and was about to enter Delhi after a 7-hour journey. Mr Supriya called me and asked me if I'm coming. It's very cold in Delhi. Finish this work. - It's routine with everyone. - Yes, regular. He can call anytime. Do you lie to him and say that you're in Chattarpur? - No, he knows. - That it's cold there. - He knows. - He finds out. You were talking about getting interrupted during lunch. I have spent an hour bulletin and there was a biscuit in the side of my mouth. I w

as eating it and the electricity went off. I have to speak weirdly like this. It happens. I can't quit eating. Then you can keep gesturing so that someone takes a hint and takes a full-screen visual. Let me chew and drink some water. But, no! It dissolved in an hour. I felt a sweetness in my mouth throughout the shoot. [laughs] Sweta, mention that too. Sometimes, we've anchored together. We realise that we need to read serious news. And the PCR is having fun. They are singing and have left our t

alkback on. I can hear them singing and it's serious news. We have to read it seriously. It happens often. Wow! We can get trapped in such situations. We were doing a live show in Dubai, Archana. We had to shoot two episodes and were live for 6 hours. I was standing on the stage and the teleprompter was in front. A person was sitting like this in front of the teleprompter. Oh my, God! And I'm asking him to move. And he's gesturing back. I'm asking him to move. [laughs] Oh! That happens too. - Yo

ur teleprompters were a hot topic recently. - Yes. At the beginning of 2023. Teleprompters are part of the show. - Yes. - Not for us. They're for the technical team, our director - and the artists who come on the show. - Yes. Some come from here. So, it's for them. There is a variety of news these days. This one time it was, "Monkeys cause chaos in the city." Then the next news item is, "Mayhem at the border." Who decides when the news on monkeys goes on air and who presents it? The reporter's f

ate decides whether he gets to present the news on monkeys or the border. Where did you watch the news about the monkeys? - On many channels. I can't name them. - When? - It's true. - Okay. Many channels. One of the channels aired the news that a parrot was arrested. Yes! The swearing parrot was arrested. - Yes, a bunch of parrots. - No. - The news is true. - Yes, see. Have you heard this one? - In which... - You do big shows... Some people get by doing just that, Ms. Kashyap. One channel aired,

"Amritsar receives snowfall." It must have been an ice cube! The other channel aired, "Cycle carrying ice slab topples." - Good one. - Oh. I was in Manali a few days ago. - I was there for a music video. - Why are you telling us? If I tell you, the whole world will know! That is the logic. Ma'am, you know about the world and read news about everyone. Have you ever read strange news about yourself? When you become popular, rumours do rounds too. - Let me cite examples. - Okay. "Anjana Om Kashyap

charges Rs. x per episode." Have you come across such news? - I have a fake husband. - Huh! [laughs] If you Google, "Sweta Singh's husband", it will display a name. I've never heard of that person. I've never seen him nor do I know that man. But his name pops up when you Google the question. It must be one of your fans spreading this news. I come to know of cars that do not belong to me in random videos that claim the cars are mine. The White House is the backdrop of the video. "This is Anjana

Om Kashyap's residence." - Baloney! - [laughs] Ma'am, you report from dangerous locations at times. Shots are being fired. Do you feel scared? You go there to cover the news because you wish to do that. - I was reporting at the time of the Ukraine war. - Yes. There was firing in the background. Visas at the time were... The flight couldn't land as the airport was destroyed. - You had to go from one country to the next on foot. - Okay. You could only carry essentials for that 10 km stretch. I did

n't carry a bulletproof vest. I wasn't allowed further for not wearing a bulletproof vest. But Indian reporters manage to get to the scene of action anyhow. The firing on that day was beyond measure. But you feel the excitement, Kapil. Why do you take such risks? What if you were harmed? Nothing would happen to me. I have people's blessings! [audience applauding and cheering] Greetings. Shots were fired at a wedding. The bullet grazed the bridegroom's nose and he was cured of his cold! [laughs]

Hen refuses to lay eggs for humans. It says, "My body is losing shape only so you can get proteins!" Wow! Stay tuned for more such interesting news. This is Raju with cameraman Das, The Kapil Sharma Show. [audience laughs and applauds] Let me tell you something. You were looking there. None of them laughed. [unanimous laughter] What were you doing? I'm a news anchor of course! Who presents the news in pyjamas? [comical music playing] - Hey, the pyjamas can't be seen. - Your face is ominous. When

you are seated, only this portion is visible. The torso and above. You said the bottom is not visible, just the top is. But it's not like you look like Tom Cruise! [laughs] Tell me something, ma'am. If I looked like Tom Cruise, would I be listening to his taunts? I'd have been sitting there and taunting him! The get-up that you are in, you should be the one talking. So, muster the courage and get started. Yes! - I wish to tell you... - [laughs] Introduce yourself. - I... - [laughs] Ma'am, tell

me something. Who is the host of the show? So, you should introduce me. Look, I say this to people even otherwise. And you are from the media, nothing is hidden from you. He is my college friend. It's sheer nepotism. - [laughs] - Sheer nepotism! That's it. [audience applauding] What is your qualification? - Qualification? - If he were educated, would he be working here? [laughs] - Ma'am... - He'd have taken up a job. Ma'am, it was generous of me to have joined his show. My film just released in

Punjab in which I'm the main lead. Whoa! How about that? His film fared so poorly that he is working on this show! [laughs] What's the name of the film? People in Punjab are going crazy. "The miserly boy and the spendthrift girl." [laughs] Look! People burst out laughing just hearing the title! - The director didn't cast him because of his talent. - Then? He cast him as a miser because of his family history. I've known him for years. During winter, his father took off his sweater and put it on t

he goat. He said, "At least the goat gives milk." [laughs] I am not joking. An old people's home was being built in Amritsar. They approached him and asked him to make a donation. He donated his grandfather. [laughs] He's a real scrooge! Just think about it. This guy should thank me. Say thanks. Kapil, I have a complaint against you. - Every story has two sides. - Yes. - If he is compelled to come here in his pyjamas... - Yes? That means you gave your friend a job, but no money! - I agree. - Yes

! [audience applauding] - Ma'am... - The things he said now... This is from me. Why? Did your father pay for it? It is my fruit. I will give it to her. Deduct it from my salary. - What's this for? - I see. This costs Rs. 300 whereas your salary is Rs. 150. - So much for... - By the way, why have you kept fruits here? - Ma'am, it gives the impression of a high-budget show. - Okay. We don't get people like you on the show every day. - We get people like him. - That was embarrassing! - That's why w

e've kept fruits. - Okay. - You took it back! - Look at that. - You took it back. - Ma'am... Ma'am, who is the scrooge now? She's such a beautiful woman. - No one would snatch a fruit from her! - No! You lack manners. She'll need a knife. She won't scrape with her nails! [laughs] Don't doubt her talent. She can dig out the news. This is nothing in comparison! - Yes! - She will claw out the pulp of the fruit. You don't remember your lines and you want to improvise! [laughs] Listen, ma'am. It's no

t easy to stop me. - I see. - Talent cannot be contained. Someone has rightly said, - 'A wiper can hold off the water in a bathroom.' - Wow. 'A wiper can hold off the water in a bathroom.' - 'But who can hold off the waves?' - Wonderful! [audience applauding and cheering] From the time he started collecting Gulzar's garbage... [hysterical laughter] He has been reciting such lame poetry. This is precisely why I don't want to work with you. Ma'am, please. If your channel needs a handsome, dynamic

and smart man, then look no further. - Yes. - You know? Take me with you. I'm a resourceful guy. What if she has someone to wash her cars already? - Right? - What do you think? I'm wearing a coat and tie. Why would I wash cars in this? Should she have you wash an aeroplane instead? - Tell me something. - Your shirt doesn't go with the coat. Neither does the tie with the shirt, the shirt with the pyjama, nor your face with your body! Everything is a mismatch! Shall we do co-anchoring for a little

while? - I'm very good at it. - Shall I start? Yes, ma'am. Greetings! You are watching Aaj Tak and I'm Anjana Om Kashyap. Greetings! I'm Rajiv Thakur and you are watching The Kapil Sharma Show. Rahul Gandhi... [cheering] [clapping] Rahul Gandhi is doing Bharat Jodo Yatra in the entire country and Bharatiya Janata Party is questioning his motives. Kapil Sharma is on a mission to break friendships but all of them are silent witnesses. [laughing] [clapping] Prime minister Narendra Modi is doing a

roadshow in the national capital Delhi. He met the Delhi public through his roadshow in the national capital before Bharatiya Janata Party's national convention. Such reputed people don't know me. [laughing] [clapping] He has certain misconceptions. He says weird things. One night he said, "I resemble Shahrukh Khan." What? That's the reason he spread his arms in front of you. Look! Even when Shahrukh Khan had jaundice, he didn't resemble him. [laughing] [clapping] My friend! Tell me something, K

apil Sharma. How cold is the north? It's severely cold. Then please cool down and let me talk to them. Please be seated. No. I want to talk while standing. You want to stand. Okay. Ma'am, live coverage is the most difficult task in media. Let me assure you that nobody can do better live coverage than me. Did you cover the Ukraine war? When a few dogs fight in the street, he goes live on Insta. "You are watching our..." Stop it! It's a tough task. It's called dedication. It's not easy to go live

with three dogs. Please promise me that you'd take him with you. Please don't leave him here. If they decide to start a comedy show on their channel, they won't have the budget to hire you. [laughing] [clapping] So I have a chance to be selected. - Really? - Yes. Didn't I tell you that he has certain misconceptions? Ma'am, if you give me a chance, I can do sting operations too. Oh my God! The operations you do often stink. No matter how much deodorant he uses, he stinks. When he went to see the

doctor, he was fed 3 bottles of perfume intravenously. He recovered only after that. Ma'am, actually, my fragrance is a bit different and they don't understand. Can you please move a bit farther? [laughing] [clapping] [comical music] Oh, my! I have never seen anyone getting humiliated live before. Ms. Tripathi, you nailed it! The thing is, all of you report from dangerous places as I heard just a few moments back. Let me assure you that even if you send me to Siachen, I can survive even in tempe

ratures below zero degrees Celsius. Of course, you had to. Why didn't you take a blanket with you? [laughing] [clapping] Didn't I tell you that his dad made the goat wear his sweater? They do such weird things. Just think how practical my dad is. If he was so practical, why did this practical flop? Tell me! I don't want... Now I'm sure that I don't want to work with you. Please hire me. I think Aaj Tak can boost my career. Someone who failed continuously can't gain much by joining Aaj Tak. Ma'am

, seriously, I can do news anchoring because I'm a mass communication graduate. When people communicate with you wearing a mask, it is not called mass communication. - That's right. - They avoid you. Those people studied it but you don't have a diploma. Fine. I don't want to do reporting but I have been working with Kapil on this show for a long time. So you may entrust me with the responsibility of the Bollywood section as all the Bollywood stars have a good rapport with me. Yes. Their face and

stool are better than his. [laughing] [clapping] They don't want to hire you. Why are you pestering them? You may not hire me permanently but please hire me temporarily. - You organise debates, right? - Yes. You invite various kinds of people to a debate. If you need someone from TV programmes, you may invite me. Does anyone from your wife's family invite you? This person is troubling. Ms. Archana, please ask him to leave. [clapping] Or do you want me to do something about it? If I wasn't so cu

te, I would have surely punched you. - Yes. - What are you saying? Did anyone ask you to say it or you said it spontaneously? What makes you think you look cute? He looks like the son-in-law of witches. We invited him today, especially for all of you. - Audition doesn't go for hours. - Seriously. We invited him here so that beautiful girls like you are protected from the evil eye. - Let me call the police. - No! Please don't call the police. He wouldn't let me talk to them. Alright! Thank you ve

ry much. [clapping] [drums beating] You have all the information in the world. Your fans want to know something about you. So I have a few questions from the audience. 'Do you wake up' 'in the morning and check Instagram' 'to see how many followers increased overnight like ordinary girls?' [laughing] [clapping] Ms. Sweta checks! [chuckling] What about you, Anjana? If I posted something, I check how many people saw it. - That's called checking. - Statistics! Yes. [laughing] If we wake up in the m

iddle of the night, we check it in a jiffy. - Chitra, do you check too? - Yes, I do. Same here. 'You spend most of the time on camera.' 'Do you ask your cameraman after reporting' 'to shoot you on a trending reel?' [laughing] [clapping] Studio audience, you are asking weird questions. Studio audience, you are too much! - She does that. - Yes. I make reels. Once the programme is over. Even when I reported at midnight, I was passing through Connaught Place. So I handed my mobile phone to the camer

aman and said, "Please shoot a reel for me." [chuckling] All of us are alike. It's okay. That's good. 'Do you argue with the panipuri seller' 'for a sukhi-puri after eating panipuri?' [chuckling] - Sometimes! - He gives us without even asking. [laughing] [clapping] [clapping] People have sent some requests. They say that... You speak so quickly. Sometimes, it's 60 headlines in a minute. So, if we give you a tongue-twister. Would you be able to say it? Can I ask you if I have your permission? Go

ahead. How much caramel can canny cannonball cram in a camel? - What? - How much caramel... How much caramel can canny cannonball cram in a camel? [laughs] - How much caramel... - Caramel much... [laughs] How much caramel cram in a camel, cram caramel into a camel? I'll repeat it. How much caramel can canny... - Canny Cannonball... - Cannonball cram in a camel. How much caramel can canny... Ballcannon cram... [laughs] How much caramel can canny cannonball cram in a camel? [cheering] How much car

amel canny can... Cram cannonball in a camel? No. How much... Caramel canny can... How much... Caramel cabby can... [laughs] How much... Faramel canny can... Cram caramel into a camel? Okay. It's fine. - Yes. - It was right. You said it really slowly. Anjana, you can try now. How bunch... How much... Caramel can canny... Cannonball cram... Whatever that is. [laughs] We can try one more time. It's fun. How much caramel can canny cannonball cram in a camel? [laughs] Why did you clap? I appreciate

you. Your two lines were accurate. You messed up in the next one. [laughs] Messed up. Okay. Fine. It's the public's request, not mine. Please don't say no. People say that our country's famous and popular... Star news anchors have arrived. You make them say a few dialogues. We always see you talk about serious issues. You have been given a dialogue as per your personality. 'You need to stand until you are told to sit.' 'This is a police station, not your Dad's house.' 'You need to stand until yo

u are told to sit.' 'This is a police station, not your Dad's house.' Wow. [claps] 'Worth of a pinch of vermillion.' - Change the dialogue, man. - It's not this one. It's changed. - Okay. You can say your own. Miss Archana, dialogue should be provided. Yes. Kapil... Where is that one-man research army of yours? Ask him for dialogue. The chit has been opened. Our director is copying himself. You see. [laughs] - Where is the dialogue? - Yeah. - We have these four dialogues. - I'll choose from them

. These were the only ones available. [laughs] 'You would have asked for my life, ' 'I would have given it happily.' - Wow. - 'But you took away...' 'My pride.' Wow. [claps] [claps] Chitra, there is a romantic dialogue for you. 'Mangal's blood is not a lemon soda. You cannot just open and drink it.' [laughs] Good one. - This suits you more. - Say it for Miss Archana. 'When you wear a white 'saree' and a red 'bindi'.' 'I swear you look like an ambulance.' [laughs] You look like an ambulance in a

white suit, It takes the injured away, you took my breath away. Woah. Miss Tripathi, you killed it. Amazing. Did you see it? Kapil. What did you tell her to say... - And what did she say? - Who told you that she meant it? She said it just like that. Everyone is not like you. - People say it from the heart. - I say it too. When will you understand, my love? - You change your style. - In her previous life, She was my sister-in-law. [laughs] You know how they fight. She fights with me like that. Yo

u keep teasing her. She'll keep doing this if you tease her. What to do? She ate my big brother. [laughs] Why can't I tease her? [claps] Greetings. An Emperor wearing a petticoat? [laughter] Why did you arrive on this today? Yes, this. I'll tell you. What happened was... He is my son. Last night I told him that my day had gone very well. You sleep as if you've sold off all the horses. He went to my stable... And sold the horses. He really sold all my horses and went off to sleep. That's why I ca

me with the donkey today. Father, you are making a mistake. This is a handcart, not a donkey. I am talking about you. [laughter] I came with this donkey today. Father. If I am a donkey then what does that make you? What do you mean? You are just what you are thinking. [laughter] You fool! Forget this fool, just look here at these beautiful guests sitting here. Pay attention to them, father. You are right. The beautiful girl teased us all. [laughter] No, really. I'm feeling very good seeing you a

ll. They are the queens of which kingdoms? They are all famous anchorines. - Anchorines? - [laughter] [laughter] I welcome you all to my kingdom. And not just here, I welcome you everywhere. I am very happy to meet all of you. I have also brought a gift for you. Here are some digestive tablets for all of you. But why these digestive tablets? Because they can't hold anything in their stomachs. [laughter] Whatever they learn, they broadcast to the nation. - That's why I brought it. - So do one thi

ng, father. You have 100 or 200 tablets too. You say they are not able to hold anything in their stomach. Your stomach seems like you have never digested anything. [laughter] I am the Emperor and your father. - Introduce me to them. - I'll introduce you. He is my father, Emperor Akbar. He walks like a cheetah. [growls] - He has a vision like a tiger. - [growls] At one sign, he makes the enemy wet their pants. Then washes them with soap. [laughter] What was the need to tell them that? I had to wa

sh them once. I don't do it always. Once what happened they kept the sword at my neck and said wash. - [laughter] - And I said they are asking so lovingly so let me wash. So I washed it. But I want to tell you, I am very grateful to all of you. Really. You'll spread the news so easily. There was a time when to give the news pigeons were used. And once, I gave a message to a pigeon and sent it to my neighbouring country. I told them I am attacking the enemy country and need their help. The pigeon

did not have google maps. And he reached the enemy country. And both of them attacked us. And I had to lose my kingdom. Not only did I lose my kingdom but was also teased as 'fatty' by those two kings. Seeing you, I feel like I am looking at a pot. [laughter] Do you gamble? [laughter] Now I just have one spy left who gives me all news. He has come. Praise of the king. Why just the king, the prince is standing here too. - Praise of the... - I am joking. You don’t need to praise him. Tell me. You

r Majesty, there is important news. The enemy state is attacking us. Why are you telling me? Go and tell the soldiers and the army. They fight, I don't even speak to anyone. [laughter] What are you doing, father? After he tells you, you will order your commander. - What are you saying? - They don't listen to us. I'm telling you the truth. A few days earlier the soldier who was standing outside my door, I told him to give me a glass of water. He replied, I'm not your servant. Get lost. [laughter]

Father, he is an enemy soldier. - What? - He's on internship. [laughter] Yes, father. Why are we training the enemy soldier? I am teaching him the wrong things. - What? - I told him that if the enemy comes from behind then attack like this. [making attacking sound] The sword will pierce him and he will die. [laughter] It has a point. Very smart. You both will just keep doing all this. The enemy king has declared that he is going to behead the King. - Really? - Yes. - I am not scared too. - Yes.

I am announcing that today, right now I am crowning my son the King. He is the King from today. [laughter] [clapping] [laughter] No, no. No. [laughter] Look, father. You have crowned me so I am announcing it too. From today, this soldier will be the King. Oh! [laughter] Who is our King? - What's your name? - Purshottam. Yes, Purshottam! - Who is our King? - Purshottam! - No, Your Majesty. - Who is our King? - Purshottam! - Now you are the King, you fight. - Your Majesty... - We're leaving. - Ye

s, let's leave. Okay, manage it. [drums playing] [laughter] [laughter] What happened? Did someone fall? [laughter] [music playing] When you post photos for your fans and your followers on Instagram or share some information about your show, people post interesting comments. We selected some of your photographs. Ms. Sweta posted this photo. 'If you could have one superpower.' She's sitting with a spiderman statue. Ms. Sweta, where did you click this photo? It was clicked in London. I was wonderin

g because spiderman isn't from India. [laughing] [clapping] Let's check the comments. 'If you have this power, ' 'I'm ready to get trapped.' [laughing] 'I have the same pose' 'when I scrub the floor with one hand' 'and drag the bucket with the other hand.' 'Ma'am, forget superpower, there is no power supply in our house' 'for the last two days. Please do something about it.' Somebody replied to him, "pay the electricity bill on time." [laughing] [clapping] Please show us more. Ms. Anjana posted

a photo. 'Let's go to New York' 'for UNGA.' What is UNGA? United Nations General Assembly. They attend important functions. We get invited to Dinesh's engagement. [laughing] [clapping] Sometimes I get invited to Anukalp's wedding. You attend important functions. Let's check the comments. 'Such inspirations force a person to take a few more rounds of the park.' [laughing] [clapping] 'Ms. Anjana reached New York but now she's calculating' 'the expenses in her mind.' [laughing] [clapping] Somebody

replied, 'no.' 'It seems she is offered a job abroad' 'and now she's converting dollars into rupees in her mind.' Please show us more. 'She's stressed because her relatives' 'sent their shopping list but not the money.' [laughing] [clapping] That's true. - It happens, right? - Relatives and colleagues too. Some people need a particular perfume that is available there and others order some cream. I never asked you to buy anything for me. Do you buy for them? - I buy them if it's possible. - I'll

message you the next time. [chuckling] - You are such a noble soul. - Yes. I reply to such people, "I'm from Oshiwara police station as this mobile phone is stolen." [chuckling] Please show us more. Chitra posted this photo mounted on Royal Enfield. Wow! - Chitra, do you ride Royal Enfield? - Yes, I do. My show is called Bullet Reporter. - Wow! - I ride a Bullet during coverage. - Especially the elections. - Wow! Let's check the comments. 'You remind me of a film title.' 'Ek Bullet Ek Haseena.'

Really? 'It seems she got her hair straightened today' 'so she didn't wear a helmet.' [laughing] [clapping] 'I know that reporters can go anywhere without permission' 'but it doesn't mean that you can enter a shop with your bike.' [laughing] [clapping] Please show us more. Ms. Sweta posted this photo. 'Rangrasiya, 2020. Holi last year.' Let's check the comments below. 'My uncle sits like you at any place where piping hot puris' 'are being served.' [laughing] [clapping] 'Ma'am, every year you tel

ecast news on how to celebrate Holi.' 'You must also air a programme to tell us how to remove the colour.' 'She's showing her new bangles on the pretext of joining hands.' [chuckling] 'She's requesting one more glass of thandai before she leaves.' Ms. Archana, what are you eating? - Gajak! - Gajak? Okay. We pray to God that you keep chewing. [laughing] [clapping] When she isn't eating, she starts talking. If she starts speaking, it means her snacks are over. [laughing] [clapping] Please show us

more. 'To understand what it is to stand out in the cold.' Too much English. I'll be embarrassed if I get stuck. Let's check the comments. 'If you are clicking your photo, who is clicking you?' Yes! Mind your own business. [chuckling] 'There was a time when Shakti Kapoor hid a knife inside such shoes.' [laughing] [clapping] Show us more. 'When you are sent to such places by your office, you feel like working.' 'We get sent to godowns.' [laughing] [clapping] 'Buiteful!' 'Ms. Anjana Om Kashyap, ve

ry nice...' Somebody replied, 'Your comment makes me feel' 'if you hadn't praised her, Anjana would have been happier.' [laughing] [clapping] I felt my English isn't good but this gentleman is worse than me. Please show us more. Chitra posted this photo. 'London'. Let's check the comments below. 'Today the pilot will leave the plane on autopilot to serve water.' [laughing] [clapping] 'As Ms. Chitra boarded the flight, ' 'the air hostesses asked men to fasten their belts thrice.' [laughing] [clap

ping] Show us more. Ms. Sweta posted this photo. 'Don't be afraid of challenges' 'as we get more experience.' Wow! [clapping] Let's check the comments below. 'I made the decision of getting married ten years ago fearlessly' 'but my experience wasn't so good.' [laughing] [clapping] 'People show such photos to their children and say' 'that they used to cross a river to go to school.' Somebody wrote, 'Ms. Sweta, you are so darling.' He got a reply, 'my friend, it's not darling but daring.' The firs

t person replied, 'my friend, I meant to say, darling.' [laughing] [clapping] Please show us more. 'Roam around Lucknow sitting in a carriage' 'and then you may shop for Chikankari clothes and eat kebabs.' Wow, Ms. Anjana! So you are a poet too. 'In short, finish your work first then explore the city of Lucknow.' Nice picture. Let's check the comments. 'Ms. Anjana, a serious expression doesn't suit your face.' 'Please smile as you are in Lucknow.' Somebody replied, 'uncle, please control as you

have a wife at home.' [laughing] [clapping] Oh, my! Show us more. 'She's worried that the kebabs could be over by the time work finishes.' There's a reply, 'No. She looks serious.' 'Surely another anchor is sent to London for reporting in her place.' [laughing] [clapping] 'You are focused on the news and the charioteer is eyeing you.' [chuckling] Show us more. Is it over? [musical instrument playing] [clapping] Ms. Anjana, we saw your video clips in some films. We saw them in 'Sultan' and 'Tiger

Zinda Hai'. Suppose you get an offer to be the heroine in a film as you are so beautiful, would you accept it? No. Obviously, I won't be offered a role in a film. And I'm happier doing what I do. - You can't be so sure. Maybe somebody wants to offer? - I know. I'm past the prime age. I won't get offers now. What are you saying? There are male actors in every age group - in our industry. - Good one! [clapping] Ms. Sweta, we came to know that you like to watch films when you are free. The most im

portant thing is she is offered a role in the films starring my favourite actors and I got a role in the film of her favourite actor. - Okay. Which film? - 'Chak De! India'. Okay. Great! Amazing! - A villain's role. - A villain's? The media plays a villain in the film, you know. - Okay. The media... - They criticise Shahrukh Khan. [laughing] [clapping] Chitra, we came to know that you are fond of dance, music and poems. Yes. I am! - Please recite a couplet. - When I was coming here and after see

ing you, I remembered a couplet but I decided not to say - the feelings of my heart but I'll recite it now. - Yes, please! - "I was smitten by him as he eyed me." - Well said! What? - Bravo! - "I was smitten by him as he eyed me." "I didn't know that he suffered from a squint-eye." Well said! [laughing] Awesome! Some people sent a couplet for Ms. Archana from Delhi. There are many fans including me. They requested me to recite in front of you when I come to this show. Let me recite the lines by

Bashir Badr - in front of you. - Go on. I'm sharing someone else's feelings. "They must be aware of a poet's style." "And also, how beautiful a moon is." "They must be aware of a poet's style." "And also, how beautiful a moon is." "Your face resembles my couplets so much" "that people must be mistaking you to be my lover." Wonderful! Wow! Fabulous! I remembered a couplet for you three written by a famous poet. "By God's grace, they came to my house." "By God's grace, they came to my house." "The

ir presence makes me worried about my household budget." [laughing] [clapping] - I remembered one more. - Okay. "They fell for each other after looking at each other." "They are now eyeing each other." "They fell for each other after looking at each other." "They are now eyeing each other." "Please cherish us for a little while." "It took us a long time to reach here." - Wonderful! - Fabulous! Awesome! "It took you a long time to come here." "A different person is sitting in the place" "someone

else was sitting earlier." [laughing] [clapping] He started his antics again. Are your snacks over or not? Everyone is here. [cheering] Wow! - Didn't you recognise me? - No. - Didn't you recognise me? - No. [laughs] You have draped a sari but walk like a man. Who are you? Tell them who I am. How would I know? [laughs] - Don't you know who I am? - No. Then why have you been taking me around in your rickshaw for 5 hours? [laughs] - What do you want from me? - What? Do you want me? What are you say

ing? What? No, pay me for the ride. Money? Hey! Money? Money for what? I gave you a ride from the station. Was I alone? Weren't you sitting? [laughs] You enjoyed the view in the front seat. And I can't tell you about my view at the back. Hey, aunty! Uneducated man! I will go to the police if you don't pay me. Very good! Go to the army! Our nation needs people like you. Go away! - What kind of woman is she? - Get lost! Nonsense! Wow! We have three breaking news here. [laughs] Wow! - Wow! - You di

dn't introduce yourself. A woman with a man's face. Who are you? I'm Shakira from Darbhanga. [laughs] You must be wondering why my name is Shakira. Keep wondering. How do I care? [laughs] I'm fondly called Mausi. - Aha, Mausi! - Yeah! Yahoo! [laughs] Why are you here? I have some news. I want you to telecast it on your channel. - I have been cheated. - What? Sweta. A few years ago, a cheater honey-trapped me. [tch] [laughs] After that, we went out on dates. Woah! [laughs] He promised to be with

me forever. But, he married me. [laughs] How were you cheated then? I was going to cheat him but he didn't wait. [laughs] I had to block three of my boyfriends because of that fool. Ah! If that's how you were, you could've refused to marry. I was going to refuse but I suddenly saw the sparkle of wealth in his innocent eyes. [laughs] Hey, Chitra. He was so rich so rich... [laughs] He had a road roller to press his tie. I got the news that he lives in this area and is a music teacher. - Oh! Him! -

Oh, Ustaad. I thought so! Only he can have such a weird wife. He lives there. Go up! - No. - Huh. - I'm here to kill him. - Heh? - Anjana, I need your help. - Hmm. I've heard that your husband is an IPS officer. Will you do me a favour? - What favour? - Get me married to him. [laughs] - Have you lost your mind? - No. I lost my character. [laughs] Hey. [clapping] I've had a dream since childhood to marry an IPS officer. But I don't think any IPS officer ever dreamt of marrying me. No worries. Th

at's why I got this old man. - Okay. - You're not Kiara Advani. I was! I was a rage! Oh! [laughs] Let me tell you. Once, I did this and a producer signed me for a film. How is that possible? I had a knife in my hand. I threatened him to sign me. That's how I got it. Anyway, why is it your dream to marry an IPS officer? What will an IPS officer do? I can't write it down for you. [laughs] You've been sitting here for so long. Who is reading the news there? There are other people working in their c

hannel. Oh, you have a gang. It's not a gang, but a team. - A team? - Yes. I made a chain snatchers team. Why did they arrest us? [laughs] You must be tired of speaking. May I strangle you? Come on! What kind of conversation is this? Kappu, what do you want? Do you want me? - Get lost! - Oh! [music playing] But I'm angry with you all. You always say let's go to Delhi, Mumbai, but never take us. I boarded the train because of you. The TT asked me for a ticket. And I said, Aaj Tak. He beat me "Kal

Tak". [laughs] Mausi, listen to me. You're talking nonsense in front of such reputed reporters. I know that they read big headlines. But I'm a part of those headlines. Ah! You must've heard that news. An 80-year-old man fell into the drain. Where are you in this? I was in the drain. He came to rescue me and I pulled him in. [laughs] [clapping] How did you fall into the drain? I went to rescue someone and they pulled me in. The game continued for 6 hours. [laughs] You meet renowned celebrities.

Can you set up a meeting for me with a celebrity? - Whom do you want to meet? - Stay alert to stay safe. Oh! He has kept me awake. At 11 pm, he says, "News that pierces through the silence." Once, his voice pierced so hard that I had bypass surgery. [laughs] I'm being honest. I had to get a bypass tailoring done. It's bypass surgery. No, my tailor has done the embroidery. I got it done from him. Anyway. I'll leave because I have to do a sting operation on my husband. I doubt that despite my pres

ence he lives alone. Thank you, guys! Take your bag, Mausi. Come out! [clapping] You present every kind of news, right? I wish to ask our audience what news they like. Everyone has their own taste. So, anyone from the audience who wants to present their views. Or anyone who wants to come on TV? [laughs] Greetings, ma'am. How are you? Hi, Kapil. - Hello. - Hello, everyone. My name is Sonu Singh. - Sonu... - I'm from Mira Road. - A warm welcome, Sonu. - Yes. sir. I am very fond of watching the new

s. - I watch a lot of news. I find it very enjoyable. - Okay. Sir, I mostly watch news that talks about the lives of celebrities. Who is having an affair with whom or who is having a fight? - Not news, you like gossip! - Who... [laughs] Who is getting divorced? - I really enjoy it. - Why do you enjoy it? - It teaches us a valuable lesson. - Really! - What? - We show it to our husbands. Look! [laughs] As in? I show my husband for what reason people are getting a divorce. I ask him to be wary. I t

errorise him. - Is your husband here? - No. - I've terrorised him. - I see. Yes, sir. [laughs] Wow! Thank you, Sonu. - Thanks for coming on the show. - Thank you. Anyone else? Yes. - Hello, Kapil. - Hello, welcome. Hello, everyone. - What's your name? - Kirti. Sir, the news I am fond of watching is the budget release for instance. When the price of beauty and cosmetic products goes down, that gives me immense happiness. Or when clothes become inexpensive... Ma'am, how do you feel when you presen

t this news? [laughs] On a serious note, Anjana. Suppose you're reading out, "The prices of lipstick rise." Do you feel, "Oh, no! Lipsticks have become costlier!" What do you do, Kirti? Where are you from? Sir, I am from Bhatinda and I'm studying PhD. - You're doing PhD! Wow! In which subject? - Yes. Nuclear medicine. Is that a type of medicine? [laughs] You are pursuing such a heavy subject. The budget has more important aspects. Do you want to jail the poor girl? She told you her likes. Cut he

r some slack! She's an intelligent girl. She's doing PhD. [laughs] No... Thank you, sir. - Thank you so much for your love. - Thank you. Thank you very much. Anybody else? Yes, mister. You're stylish. A pair of glasses on your eyes and the other, on your collar. I saw you donning the sunglasses and staring at Archana a while ago! You switched to the other one because you're on TV. I wore it for the same purpose. - Really! - Oh! Hello, sir. What's your name? My name is Pradeep Sharma. - Welcome,

Pradeep. Where are you from? - I'm... I am from Lucknow. - Okay. - I'm a bank officer. - You asked whether we watch the news. - Yes. - I watch every piece of news that these three anchors present. - Yes. Really. With which pair of glasses, sir? I was just about to ask that. [laughs] - The one I have on. - Okay. Oh, my! Look, Sweta. You're an unmatched brave news anchor. Anjana, your repartee is unmatched. And if I may speak my mind, Chitra is an unmatched bike anchor. - Wow! - She's the best. Th

ank you, sir. - When she comes on TV... - Yes? I can't focus on anything else. Why did you look to your side? Is she your... Yes, she's my wife. [laughs] Okay! [audience applauding and cheering] - Sir, don't you have to go home after this? Careful. - Yes. - Okay? - I'm scared of her. That's why my voice is trembling. [laughs] Chitra, is it a crime to watch you and your news? - No, sir. - No, right? Tell her that. Tell her! - Hello, Chitra. - Hello. Hello, everyone. I want to say that once you co

me on TV, then I can't watch anything. It's just Chitra on TV thereafter. Please tell him that I, too, have the urge to watch TV serials and movies, but no! - Ma'am, you should watch me too. - I do. [laughs] Do one thing. Buy a new TV. - Or buy a radio. - [laughs] - You're interesting and entertaining. - Thank you. Thank you. Anybody else? - Hi, Kapil. Hi, everyone. - Hello. - I am Shine from Faridabad, Haryana. - Shine! Yes, that's right. - Welcome, Shine. - Thank you, sir. - Yes. - I am fond o

f watching cyber-related news about fraud. I warn my parents against giving OTPs - or we'll be robbed clean. - Yes. Cyber-related news. Okay. Chitra, you're the most beautiful anchor I've ever seen. - Thank you. - Chitra. - What's going on? - May I recite something? - Every other person... - May I? - May I recite something if you don't mind? - Sure. "You are the great falcon and flight is your passion." "You are the great falcon and flight is your passion." "Soar, for there are higher skies to t

ranscend." - Thank you, ma'am. - Lovely! [audience applauding] He won't sleep tonight. [laughs] He will punch the life out of his bed tonight. "Quiet! Chitra recited a poem for me today." - Shine, how do you feel? - Great. Look, he forgot he was holding a mic! [laughs] I'm a big fan, sir. - Thank you. - My parents are your biggest fans. The only show we watch is The Kapil Sharma Show. - Oh! - My dad is here. - He stopped taking medicines for BP after watching your show. - Wow! Thank you for the

love. - Thank you, sir. - Thank you. A big hand for our guests. Please come, Sweta, Anjana and Chitra. [music playing] I would like to thank you all. Sweta, thank you so much. Anjana, thank you. - Thank you, Ms. Tripathi. - Thank you. It was lovely to meet you. Sweta has come before. You both have come here for the first time. It was lovely talking to you. Keep up the good work. And bring the truth before the world. And we are proud of you. - Thank you so much. - Thank you. Thank you, guys. It w

as fun to have you here. Keep laughing and smiling. We'll see you every Saturday and Sunday. Goodnight and thank you.