The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2-दी कपिल शर्मा शो सीज़न 2 - Ep 49- Entering Kabir Singh -15th June,2019

Ms. Archana. - Yes. - How are you doing? How do I look? Beautiful. Thank you. I want to tell you two things. Okay. - I want to come over there and tell those things. Come over. Well, how is my look? You are looking very handsome today. Wow! - Today, I feel as if I hold my hands in this position energy will start flowing from them. Today, I am feeling that I am not a hawker but a business tysoon. Hold on. It is business tycoon and not business tysoon. Seeing no one on the stage, I had come here t

o say a few things. But you didn't allow me to do even that. Sorry. Sorry. Okay, you are a tysoon. A business tysoon. No problem. Mr. Archana, I want to tell you something. - Go ahead. I have opened an eatery with the blessing of my mother Mrs. Chandni Devi. Wow! Very good. And she herself is coming to inaugurate it. So, please you, too, come for the inauguration. You want me to attend it, is it? - Yes. You should pay me for it. - Good. I have stopped doing philanthropy. When no one does charity

to me then why should I do it to others? So, today, I am going to celebrate and my enemies will feel jealous seeing it. Definitely! What is going on here, Chandu? Please note it. I am not Chandu. I am the owner of Chandu Group of Industries Chandu Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg! Hey, you idiot, how did you manage to start this eatery? Ms. Archana, last night I thought of having Mittal as my last name. Then I thought he definitely is going to change it some other weird name. Then I thought of have Arora

as my last name. But then again he will do the same thing even with it. Then, I thought of have some international surname. I decided to have Zuckerberg as my last name but he again changed it to some weird name. What kind of a species are you? These kind of news about you gets published in paper because you keep saying these kind of things. Tell me something. Why have you started this eatery? Since I had very less budget, so, I started this eatery. Otherwise, I had planned to open an automobil

e showroom. Automobile Showroom! - Showroom! The other day he was telling his neighbours to keep him in place of a dog. That he is going to guard their house. He said that he won't mind even if they give him less biscuits than they used to give their dog. First tell me, had I said like that? No, you had said it like this. Keep me in place of your dog. Listen to me, Kappu Sharma. A beast is hidden in every person. It is fine if it is hidden. But the one in you has started coming out. He starts wa

gging his tongue if he sees anything whose price is more than 10 rupees. Mr. Kappu, you know what.. Oh, my god! How are you doing? Disgusting! Wow! Chandu's eatery! That's amazing. From being a mechanic you have become the owner of an eatery now. What is your problem if I become successful? You are Umrao Jaan found during the excavation of Harappa Valley! Because of sleeping on the street side he has started quoting idioms written on the back of trucks. He is talking nonsense! - Listen to me. I

sleep on the footpath so that I don't get back pain. Is it? - Yes. Stop all this nonsense and go for this package. DNLK package. DNLK! - What is DNLK? ''Swine Night Life in a sty.' She says such horrible things! I don't have time for all that. I am busy with my eatery. Tell me something. How did you get this idea? This idea definitely wouldn't have flashed to you. Because you don't have brains. Well, it's a long story. Pal, I will narrate it in short. Why do you get violent so quickly? Well, you

know our finance minister, right? Yes. - I had met her. Okay. - She told me that I will have to help our country's economy to grow. Is it? You stand at the traffic signal and keep begging. Obviously, she would have told you to do some work. Where had you met our finance minister? At the swearing in ceremony. Had you attended it? I was there. I had gone there fully prepared with a telescope. But no eclipse occurred there. Hey, Galileo of Malad do you know? In the swearing in ceremony minister ta

ke a vow. But people were having samosas along with tea. Even I, too, had flicked a couple of them. Then tell them how they had flogged you for three hours for that. I at least got flogged. Otherwise, some people sat there for hours and returned home empty handed. Don't run away from such people. They, too, are a part of our society. Right. - Give them some time. Sooner or later, they will be fine. They are part of our society. Kappu Sharma, the funny things which you keep saying doesn't let me

quit this show. Wait and watch. I and my Bhoori together will run this eatery now. Bhoori. Bhoori, come. Which scoundrel was calling me? See, she called you a scoundrel. She calls herself very talented. I have never accepted it. Have you seen the size of my sandals? Yes, baby, it is no.3. Hey, she is not the lamb of some sheep that you are telling her sandal size to be three. A lamb has the shoes size of four, you fool. A toad a the shoe size of three. Don't listen to them, Bhuri. Toads are very

cute. Croak in front of us. What? Croak in front of us. - Croak.. First, you bark in front of us. You are crazily in love with me. You're so naughty. You know.. Look, I opened a Dhaba. Say, 'Yes' to me. We will become a rich couple overnight. Bhuri! Hey.. Bhuri.. What are you doing here? The cow is waiting for you. Give it a bath. You are.. What? Wait a minute. 'Chandu's Dhaba'. You should've written, 'Chandu is a beggar'. If that's the case, you should've been a chimpanzee. Wait. Oh, my God! M

r. Kapil, don't say that so loudly. If someone from the zoo hears that and takes him away, who will be the father of my kids? Listen, they might not have a father but they can get a meal from my Dhaba. Oh, my God! Chandu. Did you open a Dhaba? - Look. You didn't have to do that. You were doing well by begging, right? I got that as nepotism. I made a Dhaba with my hard work. What? - Listen to me. All the milk and dairy items in my Dhaba will be supplied from your stable. Why is that? He can't do

a thing, Brother-in-law. Get his Dhaba shut down, Brother-in-law. If you had talked to me as sweetly as you talk to him, we would've had kids. I will slap you so hard that you'll faint. Wow.. - Idiot. Hey. Get out of here. Get out of here.. Listen to me.. - Hey, listen. Get out. No. - Get out.. Get out.. - Wait.. Get out! Go away. You're being humiliated. History is witness to it. People have always attacked brave men. Hey! You're not a brave man, but a cowardly dog. Nonsense. Take your things a

nd get out from here. It's okay. My mother will exact revenge for my humiliation. Mom! It's time to prove my loyalty. Hey! Dogs prove their loyalty. I told my mom to do it. Mom! Mom! Mom! Unbelievable. His mother never even gave him food and he threatened us. Listen, don't worry. Let her come here. I'll teach them a lesson. I won't spare his parents. I swear on my kids. Wow.. Kapil. Will you handle the situation if his mother says something to me? I've been handling things since so many years. D

o you think that you're still here because of your acting? You must be very happy, Kapil Sharma. Hey! The lady who looks like a horse. Who are you? Hey, fat lady! Don't talk rubbish. I'm Chandan's mother. Ms. Chandani. What? What are you saying? You're his mother? - Yes. Ma'am.. Bless you! Bless you. Wait a minute. Money! Bless you! Stay happy! Stay blessed. Wait a minute. Ma'am.. What happened? I won't spare you, Kapil Sharma. What did I do? - You do everything. You don't let my son do a thing.

My son wanted to open a Dhaba but you chased him away. No, ma'am.. He won't be able to manage a Dhaba. He isn't skilled enough. Hey, obese man! How is he not skilled enough? - No.. Even though, he doesn't have 11 kids like you he is very talented. Wow! Lady who steals around the neighbourhood. Don't you dare talk about my kids. Hey, lady who looks like a submarine. She called me a submarine. You look like one. Come here and listen to me. You feel so bad since I talked about your kids. Do I not

feel bad when you talk about my son? Ma'am, what do you expect? His name is Chandu. You gave birth to such a bad son. Really? - When Chandan was born.. Yes. - ...the people who ask for gifts came.. - Okay. ...and collected money from different houses and gave it to them as a relief fund. That's true. Chandan earned money ever since he was born. He used to beg, not earn.. He is a beggar.. - Shut up! Don't talk rubbish. I know that you give massages. It's not a big deal. You put oil on your hands.

Then, you apply oil on one side and then, on the other. One side and the other.. - I.. That is all you do. Don't massage yourself. Massage other people. You do it! Your family will do it! Your parents will do it! Why should I do it? You give massages. I'll do it. It's my business and I earn money from it. Ma'am.. Listen to me. 'Ma'am'? Don't call me that. Don't call me that. You're lucky that Chandan likes you otherwise, I'd have spread rumours about you. Instead of scolding us, tell your son t

o leave me alone. Listen to me. Come here. Come here.. Have your milk teeth broken yet? Do you want me to break your permanent teeth? Did you not check my bio data before talking about me? Hey.. - Wait.. Hey.. Come here! I know girls like you! Come here.. Do you know what they do? - What? They date ice-cream vendors in summers and blanket vendors in winters. What about monsoon? They go to Lonavala. They flirt with Chikki vendors there. If she wants to eat Biryani she goes out with the old man fr

om MDH. 'Come..' 'Come..' Brother-in-law, why don't you say something? What's there for me to say? I'm sure she gets to hear every slang I know in just half a day. I don't argue with such women. Try it! - No way! Argue with me! - No! Come on, argue! Argue with me. - No. I'll show you. Afraid to argue? Masculine woman! I'll fill up with the milk from my 11 buffaloes and build up my strength. Then I'll teach you and you family a lesson. Got it? Shape shifting spider! Wow, Brother-in-law! You were

amazing! It's always him why don't you give it a try sometime? A lion roars only once unlike dogs, who bark all the time. Oh, my! Big talk from our 'lioness' here who got slapped by a frog. Kapil! I eat people like you for breakfast and I don't even burp after. Oh, boy! Archana, I don't care about anyone. Not even my husband. - What? On our wedding day, he tried lifting my veil I gave him a tight slap and sat on his chest. I punched his cheat 88 times. - 88! Hey! 'Queen of prickly heat'! I've ha

d enough of your blabbering. You shut up! You're the kind of woman who changes a flat using one hand. Women like you.. - You shut up! Women like you wear their father's cloths and meet their boyfriends. Quiet! I lost! Kapil, even in Nala Sopara I never faced such humiliation. You make her understand. Now, tell me who here will stop me. - Someone step forward. I'm going home to cook. Not like that. You should run and go. I have hired women like you to change diapers of children. Really? And I hav

e hired women like you to broom our house. I throw garbage at women like you. I also throw garbage at women like you. I already used that line. Yes, so what? I too have garbage. If you need more garbage I can get you truck loads of it. Wait a minute! Someone stop me! I'm about to unleash a beating! Hey! My son's food stall will be established right here. What? - He will set it up right here. You should visit a psychiatrist. Forget about opening your son's stall here. You're a fool. You're giving

me a head ach with your presence. Oh, dear! Do you hear your voice? It like a truck with the sound of a moped. Do you hear your own voice? It sounds like a monkey screeching like a bat. Wait a minute. Hey! My son's food stall will open right in this spot. It's practically opened. Excuse me, Ma'am. You can't open some food stall here. Go away. Are you sure? - Yes. I have some cooked beans here. No, we don't want to eat any. No, that's not for eating. I want to put the hot beans down your pants.

No! Hey! Just a minute. - What's she saying? Ma'am! - She's really going for it! No! Don't! She has gone crazy! Run! Don't! She's not kidding! Run! Tell me something, Archana. - What? Apart from food and that chair what's the other thing you're crazy about? You know, mad for. Oh! Thanks, baby. You know, people are crazy for many things these days. Just look at kids these days. Crazy about their mobiles. - Yes. They play games non-stop, even forgetting to eat food. They keep at it. In the past, i

t said, 'Quit alcohol in seven days'. The present trend should say 'snatch the kid's mobile within just a year'. It's a terrible addiction. Well done! Very nice! Some women are crazy about makeup. It's true. The ones I'm talking about aren't here. They can't resist looking at mirrors. Every time they stop at a red light they start applying lipstick looking at the mirror. Meanwhile, the people behind her starts to honk. They yell, 'put away the lipstick and get moving!'. Some people are adamant t

o create world records. I saw a guy, I don't remember which country it was. He eats tube lights and bulbs. - Right! What I wonder is when that guys has diarrhea.. Well, I always wonder. Anyway, people can be crazy about many things. But the most dangerous thing to be crazy for is 'love'. And there is a new movie about it called 'Kabir Singh'. With a huge round of applause form the audience I would like to introduce the lead actor of the movie. He's very charming, very handsome and very talented.

Please welcome, Mr. Shahid Kapoor! Shahid, a hearty welcome to you. Thank you so much. We actually met recently. - Really? At the 'Rashtrapati Bhawan'. - Yes, that's right. I see. The 'swearing-in' ceremony of Narendra Modi. I have to say, Shahid. This is really your time. A few days back, you were at the 'Rashtrapati Bhawan' and now you're here, at the 'Kapil Sharma Show'. Anyway, first of all congratulations on 'Kabir Singh'. Thank you. - The trailer looks fantastic. Thank you so much. Now, d

o you pick movies for their characters or because you get to be intoxicated in them? Maybe it's my alter ego. Because what I don't do in my everyday life are the things people like to see me do in movies. So, it's kind of weird. Shahid, your characters are always so convincing that it's hard to tell reality from acting. Yes. - So, Shahid when you perform kissing scenes and you immerse yourself into it who snaps your back to reality? A voice utters the word, 'cut'. And that's all it takes? Very g

ood. I'm proud of you. Mr. Shahid, you have grown a beard for many of your movies. - Yes. Don't your babies wonder who this boy is when you shave after a long time? Mr. Kapil, there is a complex behind growing this beard. Okay. - My dad lost most of his hair when he was 30 to 32 years old. Okay. - When I was around 24 or 25 he told me that it's good that I made my debut soon because my hair won't remain for long. So, I grow wherever possible whenever I get a chance. Very good. - I don't know how

long it will last. It's your hair. - Yes. Mr. Shahid, we'll talk a lot with you. Come, sit. Mr. Shahid, you have played the role of an angry young man in this movie. - Yes. Do you get angry in real life too? Mr. Kapil, I'm not a short-tempered man. Okay. - I am a calm person. I become quiet when I am angry. I don't say anything. - Okay. I know that I will get a movie someday where I can vent out my hidden anger. - You can vent it out. So, I save it for my movies. This is very helpful. Conservin

g energy. Very good. You get movies. You vent it out there. I would like to know from our audiences. When you get angry.. - Yes. It is a dangerous thing. And you go on Twitter. It creates many problems. We should control our anger. Is there anybody here who has invited trouble due to your anger? Or you were very angry and could not express it. Is there anybody here who would like to share their opinion? Yes, ma'am. Ladies are raising their hands slowly. Yes. Hello, Mr. Kapil. - Hello. Hello, Mr.

Shahid. Hello, Ms. Archana. - Hi. I get angry the most on my sister-in-law. Oh! - Everyone gets angry. You are saying it openly too. Yes. She is also in the same situation. I think she cannot say it at home. So, she's saying it here. - She's saying it here. Ms. Archana, I would like to say one more thing. Yes. - Yes. - My sister-in-law is here with me. Wow! Okay! - Really? - Really? - Greetings. How are you? Why do you get angry on her? I get angry because she will say south if I say north. - O

kay. My mother-in-law is very innocent. - Okay. If she asks which sari to wear while going for a party and if I ask her to wear a red sari she will definitely ask her to wear a pink sari. - Okay. And mother-in-law gets trapped because she doesn't know whether to pay heed to her daughter-in-law or daughter. What does she wear then? Half red, half pink? My father-in-law's role begins there. Okay. She dresses according to his choice then. That's good. She is paying heed to the person whom she shoul

d be paying heed to. That's good. Which quality of hers makes you get angry? She will also not accept my advice. - Okay. She won't cook whatever I ask her to. Okay. - She will cook something else. She will do as per her will. So, it's natural to get angry. Did your brother have an arranged marriage or love marriage? No, it was an arranged marriage. Did you go to see her? - Of course. Why didn't you.. - I selected her. You only selected her? Mom is innocent. Brother doesn't say anything. Whom are

you like? I am here to bring a twist in her life. That's great. Very good. Too much sweetness is not good. Some spice is also necessary. I am here for that spice. - You bring a twist in their lives. She is the female version of Karan Johar. She brings a twist in her story. Thank you very much. - Thank you. Anybody else? Yes, Mister. Hello, everyone. - Hello. My name is Ankur Arora. - Yes, Mr. Ankur. Generally, I don't get angry. My wife gets angry. Yes, I know. - But I get more angry whenever w

e have to go out and we are getting late. The same thing happened even today. We were getting late for the show. So, I asked her to get ready on time. But as usual, she kept delaying. I got very angry then. I sat in the car in anger. She also came to the car. I was still angry. I was driving rashly. Suddenly, I looked at her. She looked at me. She gave a very cute smile. And all my anger melted. - Wow! And we came here happily. So sweet, Ankur. - Yes, I agree. You said such sweet things. Has you

r wife come along? Where is she? How are you? You had to come by car today. But if he gets angry otherwise where does he sit? At home. He sits in the room. He sits in the room. That's it? - Yes. What do you do when you get angry? I vent out my anger on him itself. Mr. Shahid, what do you do when you get angry? I apologise when I get angry. I apologise when my wife gets angry too. Very good! Very good. You will be happy. Anybody else? Yes, ma'am. I am a huge fan of Mr. Shahid. I admit that. - Oka

y. His movie 'Mausam' was being shot in Patiala, Punjab, and I got to know about it. So.. - Are you from Patiala? I am from Amristar. - Okay. The moment I got to know that he was shooting there and it was the last day of shoot.. But Shahid is Shahid. And I wanted to meet him. But the problem was it was my brother-in-law's wedding the same night. Okay. - What did I do? I boarded the early morning train. I thought I will come back before the wedding. I reached there soon. The shoot was going on in

Patiala. His song 'Saj Dhaj Ke Tashan Mein Rehna' was being shot. I kept watching the shoot. I tried to meet him. But the bouncers didn't let me meet him. I requested them three to four times. They promised to let me meet him after the shoot. I screamed the fourth time. There's a wedding at home. You are not letting me meet him. He is ready here. My husband is ready at home. Let me meet him. - Then? They asked me to go home when I said this. They sent me back. - So, you didn't meet him even the

n? I didn't meet him. Oh! So, you have come to meet him today. How are you feeling today after seeing him? I cannot believe this. Can something happen today so that I can believe it? Something? What do we do so that you believe it? I need a hug at least. We are Punjabis. A hug won't hurt. Thank you. You didn't tell us your name. My name? Aman. - Aman? - Yes. Aman, have you come alone from Amritsar? My son has come with me. Hello. - Hello. He doesn't talk to anybody. He is noting down everything

and not talking. He will go and tell his dad. Shall I tell you something? - Yes. I am so crazy about him that I looked for boys in Amristar who resemble Shahid so that I could marry him. - Wow! Really? Wow! When he started understanding things and saw Shahid on TV for the first time he asked me why dad is on TV. Oh! Wow! Ms. Aman, it was great meeting you. Thank you. - Thank you. Now, it is time to invite the beautiful heroine of the movie 'Kabir Singh'. Please welcome the very beautiful and ver

y talented Kiara Advani. I'm most excited to meet Ms. Archana because for me, I remember my childhood when I see you because I just think of Ms. Briganza. Oh, ho! Kiara, you are looking very beautiful. Thank you. She reminded you of your childhood. I remembered my young days. Kapil's a bit upset. - Why? He expected you would wear a special outfit for him. But he's married now.. - How does it matter? I would like to congratulate you on your marriage. Well, I have to live with it now. Kiara, pleas

e have a seat. Thank you. Kiara, you have a very sweet name. Yes. - What does Kiara mean, Kiara? It means, God's precious child. That's true. - It means, precious. But your birth name's Alia, right? - Yes. Why did you change it? Did Mr. Mahesh Bhatt ask royalty? Why did you change your name? Because Alia Bhatt was already.. - Yes. a very big star. - Yes. To avoid any confusion I changed my name. You have got a beautiful name. - Thank you. Kiara, you look so sweet in the trailer. And you know.. -

You're ignoring me. What? - You're completely ignoring me. No, I.. - You didn't even say that I get under the skin of the character. Well, you know that you're a talented actor. Kapil and I were bachelors once, you know. Those were golden days. What about today? Ginni and Mira aren't going to like this. They know.. - That you were.. That men change after marriage. I think it's good to tell your wife who you really are because if you get caught red-handed you can always say, 'Didn't I tell you?'

. So, what's your character like in this movie? Basically, Preeti's character is quite opposite to Kabir's. Kabir's very aggressive and Preeti's pretty calm. Yes, she's a simple girl. Kiara, in your life, was there anyone after you who was as mad as Kabir? Girl's will get to know first, if someone's after them. Of course, that's women instinct. They even get to know even before someone tries to woo them. That they are going to.. - They have an ability to know from a distance, you know. Women hav

e that sixth sense. Yes. - Instinct. Yes, but no one has so far.. - Tried to woo you? You know what? That's true. - Impossible. Not possible. - I'm telling the truth. Can married people hit on you? - No. It's a wrong thing to do. You will find more married men hitting on women. I think Archana spoke from her personal experience. I have to call Parmeet soon after the show. She hits on women, you know. In the movie, Rangoon falls in a swamp and kisses a girl. But in this flick, he falls in a swamp

.. What are you talking about? You can't help but appreciate our research. Yes, we have to appreciate him. And in this movie, he falls into a swamp while kissing. A few young men wants to know what's more thrilling kissing after a fall or kissing while falling? What is the fun? I mean.. What is the fun? Shahid, we heard that you go home after the shoot and bathe for two hours. What marks on your body you try to get rid of? I acted in a movie before this one where I played a weird role, Udta Punj

ab. I was single at that time. - Yes. Then there was no problem for me to stay in the zone of the role. By the time I started shooting for this movie I was married and had two kids. - Yes. I didn't want to take home the negative energy of this character. I didn't want my kids to be affected. Well said. How sweet. Kiara, is Mukesh Ambani's daughter, Isha, your friend? Yes. - Wow. I can't ask you anymore questions. We are childhood friends. We were this small when we got to know each other. I thin

k childhood friendships are special. You must have gone inside their home, right? Do we need a visa or we get it on arrival? There are some rumours, you know, Kiara. Now that you're here. Let's get it cleared. I mean, there are some rumours about Ambani Family. You can clear some of them for us as a friend. I'm going to be in trouble. - No.. Well, I would like to share.. On what channel this show is going to be telecasted? I used to work for a channel and I invited Ambanis to my show. I gave the

m the details of the show and they replied, 'That's our channel'. There's a rumour that they don't rinse their clothes because money might fall off. Is that right? I'm sure whenever they rinse their clothes people will go like this. I have also heard that they throw away the dress after wearing it once. Any idea where they throw it? No idea. Where do they throw it? You're not answering any questions. I don't know. If a person wants Ambanis to adopt him what's the procedure? You mean, you? - Arch

ana and I both. Then we don't have to work, right, Ms. Archana? Relax, eat and sleep. Wake up, relax, eat and go back to sleep. But they are very hard working, do you know that? I know. Let them work hard. We can relax. Viewers, those were a few rumours. Yes, they are insanely rich. Shahid puts ice inside his clothes in the trailer. If you put ice for real inside a man's clothes I'm sure he will start dancing. No one can standstill I'm going to challenge everyone here to put some ice in clothes

and dance. One hand has already gone up. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Come. Can you guys dance? Sir, I like dancing.. - So, you can dance. At what time of the day you like to dance? All the time. - All the time? What's your name? - Sooraj. Sooraj, you stand over here. What's your name, sir? My name's Irshad. - Irshad? - Yes. Come on, do it. - Irshad. - Irshad. Irshad, where are you from? Sir, I'm from Bijnor, UP. Are you wearing a fake moustache? - No, it's real. Irshad, stand there. What's your

name? - Ajith. Well, where are you from? - Chembur, Mumbai. And yours? - My real name's Ranjeev. And your fake name is? - Rikki. Okay. What's your name? - Roshan Raj. Rosan. - Raj. I see. Welcome. They are going to dance with ice inside their clothes. Get the ice. Mr. Shahid, give me a helping hand. I'll hold the bucket. You put the ice in them. All right. I'll do it. Did you tuck? Were you doing that because of the ice or you're really bad at dancing? What? Let it be. Have fun. Put it here.. O

h! You! You broke my bottle! Get out of here! Go! What is it? Get out of here. You guys just get out. You people are of no use. Even Mukesh is of no use for me. Shahid is here now. Just watch, I'll do it with Shahid. Hi, Kiara. I am Sapna from Nala Sopara. Lovely, Sapna.' Nice to meet you. - Hello. I don't know English. I understand a bit. She said something nice. Anyway, I watched the promo of your movie. I enjoyed a lot. A huge round of applause. I think you're a surgeon in that, right? You pe

rform a surgery while drunk. You drank really well. But you don't know how to make a peg. How.. How do you know? He was putting the ice in the wrong place. Really. I saw many alcoholic people in our Nala Sopara. But I saw such a trick to cool the whisky for the first time. I had a lot of fun. You seem to know a lot about pegs, Sapna. Yes, I know. I am the head of Liquor and Snacks Association in Nala Sopara. Understood? Many people come, sir. Ms. Archana come there very often to drink. She drink

s a lot but she never got arrested in a 'drink and drive' case. Why? - Why? Nobody charges a traffic fine on a bullock cart. Sir, you must be enjoying a lot in the operation theatre after drinking liquor, right? The patient is given glucose - Yes. The doctor is drinking liquor. Sapna, do you know anything about doctors? I know everything about doctors. I read in the books every day. I know many jokes as well about doctors. - Tell us. Once upon a time a doctor was performing a surgery while drunk

. How was the joke? This was not a joke. - This was seriously.. This was not a joke. - But a movie is made on this. What to do with the joke? Am I right? Joke is nothing. Making a movie is not a joke. It takes hard work. And no one works harder than Shahid. Huge round of applause. I am telling the truth. I am not talking nonsense. Shahid is the most focused actor. How? - I saw in the promo. He was kissing on the moving bike. He met an accident. - Yes. If it was someone else then he would've stoo

d up, rubbed out like this called up the police and looked for injuries. But no. He directly started kissing. Focus. He keeps focusing. Anyways, I am a huge fan of yours, Shahid. I watched Padmaavat. - Okay. You delivered a very nice dialogue. What's that? 'The one who keeps worries at the edge of sword..' 'He..' - Rajput. Okay. What do we call the one who kisses after bike accidents? Anyways, leave it. A huge round of applause for Kiara. I liked her a lot. But there's one thing that I didn't li

ke. You spoiled Shahid in this movie. What do you mean? How did she spoil? I watched the movie 'Vivah'. - Okay. In that, Shahid was sitting so quiet. When he was thirsty, Amrita Rao veiled her face and brought water. Believe me, if Amrita Rao watches this promo then Amrita will change her opinion. Believe me. Anyways, I have something personal to discuss with you. Yes, tell me. This is a discussion between two women. Lady to lady. - Ladies talk.. I read in the newspaper and I felt very good. Wha

t? - When will you give the good news? Hey, that's the name of her movie. Is it the name of a movie? - Yes. It's good that you told me. I was about to dance here and ask for money. Oh, my God. Okay. A huge round of applause for other movie 'Good News'. It's coming soon. - It'll come out in December. You know what, Shahid? I have a son in Nala Sopara. We have a business. Pig washing service. Pigs are there, right? We wash the pigs. We rub the black pigs and turn them pink like this.. So, my son,

Mukesh.. - Yes. ...is a huge fan of Shahid. He watched one of his movies 200 times. We all in Nala Sopara call him with that pet name. What's that? - 'Kaminey'. Anyways, you know? For you I have this Sapna Beauty Parlour. Yes. - I run a parlour. So, we have different types of massages. One is 'Kaminey Massage'. - Okay. What's there in it? - It's very simple. We don't apply oil or remove the customer's clothes. Four men come and pull his hairs like this. Then they beat him up using sticks. They d

on't even give massage and take the money away. Who does that? I told you they're rascals. - Rascals. That's how 'Kaminey Massage' is. Then we have 'Udta Punjab Massage'. What's there in it? - We don't massage using oil. You know gas, right? We put that gas inside customer's mouth. And as soon as he flies away, we go to Punjab with his money. I have a special massage for you. It's called Kiara massage. - What's that? That's only for the Punjabis. - How? So, we have Mr. Sidhu here. He comes and s

its on the chair, we turn on television and he asks us to put the video of Kiara. So that's how it is. So we give him a massage as per his requirement. - I see. So, only Mr. Sidhu gets this massage. - Right. I see. I need you in Nala Sopara in two days. Is it? - Why? He has done the film 'Udta Punjab'. - Okay. I will make him do a film there as well. Please come there. You have done this film named 'Chup Chup Ke'. You can screen that film there. It's fun. I will take your leave. Bye! Shahid.. Ki

ara.. - Yes. I will you both a few questions. - Okay. Everything question has three answers. - Okay. You have to give it in five seconds. They are very easy. - Okay. Any of you can answer it. The one who answers first gets the point. Three things you do secret in public places. Secretly? - Yes. You ensure nobody sees you. Adjusting our pants. I do that publicly. And.. Okay, fine. So you adjust your pant. She is just laughing. She's just wondering what all we do. - How do I.. Ms. Archana, even yo

u can answer. Counting money? No? Money is all you think about. You tell him what you do. I'm sure she has something to say but she can't. Yes. If you remember, I asked you to say it in five seconds. Five seconds are over. Let's give him the point. Apart from reading, how do people utilise the newspapers in three different ways? People wrap things from it. - Okay. Cleaning.. - People use it to clean things. I said that. - And.. - And.. Dog's poop.. - People use it when they cut their nails. Nice

! - Very nice! Yes, nice! That's a very good one. What are those three things which you do while you wait at the signal. Changing the music channel. - Okay. Checking out the girl sitting in the car next to yours. Check out. - Wow! And checking phone.. It happens out of curiosity. And checking our phone. Very good! Nice! Kiara, I am giving you the next one. Say it. Kiara, Shahid is winning. Okay. - You answer it now. Kiara, had you been a guy who are those three heroines with whom you would like

to flirt. Deepika Padukone, Katrina Kaif and.. Aishwarya Rai. Had you asked her which actors would she have wanted to be with as a heroine, she wouldn't have answered.. I would've answered that. Ranveer Singh, Varun Dhawan and Shahid Kapoor. Shahid, who are those three heroes with whom you would've wanted to flirt, as a heroine? Kapil Sharma. Thank you.. - Look, both of us are married. So it's equal. - Yes. Nobody will say that it's an unfair relationship. - Yes. It's equal. Talking about two mo

re married man Akshay Kumar is very fit. - Yes. I like his fitness. He climbs and jumps. I like it.. It's exciting! And let me find a youngster for the third one. Varun Dhawan. - Okay. What are the first three things you notice in a guy? Hair, shoes and eyes.. Smile.. - Eyes? Shahid, what are the first three things which you notice in a girl? Eyes, smile and she treats girls around her. - Is it? Very nice! Girls always have problems with each other. Nice.. - And we have these introvert girls in

colleges. They never let their good looking friends fall in love with anyone. This girl neither does an affair nor does she let her friend be in an affair. She tries to deviate her mind. Such girls do exist. Guys befriend such introvert girls first. - They befriend.. Not really. They flirt with such girls first. So that she starts liking him all of a sudden and he gets a chance to get the girl he wants. If they befriend her, she will be upset. Okay. Three things you love to have for free. We get

these free soaps and creams in hotels. I put them in my bag sometimes. Hand creams.. That's cute! - All girls do that! Hand creams are nice! When you are travelling.. - I even steal the towels. I don't do that. I love free Wi-Fi internet. - True. That's very important. - Free Wi-Fi makes me feel very good. I have this last question. Which are those three dishes which come in your mind the moment you hear about food? 'Gulab Jamun'. - Oh, my! Yummy! - What else? Don't lie.. - 'Kulfi'? We have to

eat all that to think of good food. We think of those things first which we can't eat. - Yes. Like 'Samosas', French fries.. - Pizza.. - Yes. Shall we order them? - Pizza. - Chocolates. The list goes on.. - But actually.. I have observed this in girls very recently. We guys immediately want to eat the food when it arrives. And girls ask us to wait first. They take out their phones.. - They take photos.. And they post it on Instagram. They don't care that the guy is hungry. How dare you take a bi

te from that! You spoiled the entire dish! We have heard that as a child you used to steal pencil, eraser and all that. No, I am not a thief. We call them kleptomaniac. I am not that. - It's okay. You can admit that. We won't judge you. - I.. All of us have flaws, Kiara. If you can change your name, why can't you steal? We just want to know from where you got schooling. I want to know from where girls like you get schooled.. Such girls - And I had annoying classmates.. 'Kapil..' 'Which is the ne

xt class?' Sick! Actually, that's how guys were in our school. - Yes. You actually.. I recalled all those visuals mentally. You did it exactly like how it happens. Even I had such girls in my class. I had 30 boys and four girls. And is that how all four of them were? - Yes. 'How are you?' Everyone knows what an amazing dancer Shahid is. Even Kiara is a good dancer. Shahid, we will make you play a game. We will give you headphones. - Okay. You have to do the hook step of that song and make her gu

ess the name of the song. - Oh! - I see. Please get it. You can use the props. - Okay. We have big budget. Okay. Please play the first song. Oh! The drums roll.. Wow! - Correct? "Drums are rolling." 'One, two, three.." "One, two, three.." - He is saying that. This song had this move. - Yes. It was a dance step. Nice! Okay. Last two songs. Let's make her dance. Wow! A little more.. So easy. I'm thinking.. Something like that. - Some more.. Once more. - She's having fun. Do a girl dance. Yes. - Th

e 'Jumma' dance. "Friday! Friday! - Give the kiss.. Next song. You're enjoying yourself. Yes. That's a famous step. Which dance is this? Something like that. It was something like this step. I remember this part. "You're the friend.." - What! Which one? - No? "Sheila's youth.." - No. That song had the other step. This one's like this. "The kohl.." - Yes! She knows everything. She's just pretending. Shahid.. Kiara.. When the film is going to be released it's going to earn crores of rupees. Let's

keep that for later on. But here today, we'll give you a chance to earn. - Okay. Only if you allow me. Shall I? 'Who wants to be a crorepati?' Let's play. Please get the props. 'What wants to be a crorepati?' Wow! Hello! Hello! Hello! Greetings! Welcome to our show 'What wants to be a crorepati?' I've with me, who is worthy to be praised. The one and only Kabir Singh.. The handsome Shahid Kapoor! The second is the one who is extremely beautiful more than the water in the ocean.. The ravishing Ki

ara Advani! Let me also tell you, to play this game two of Bollywood's biggest duplicate superstars will be here. You deep fried doughnut dipped in yoghurt! You're the mud from the street. You rotten flower! I get sleepless nights during Saturdays. Sit down quietly! I like my style in Bollywood. Hello, Shahid. Hello, Kiara. Shahid.. Kiara.. He is the duplicate Mr. Shatrughan. He is.. - And he is the real fatso! By the way, he is our expert. Let me tell you, I could've been delighted to meet you

but that couldn't happen. Let's start the play. - Just a moment. Before starting the play, I'd like to say something. Nothing is going on between Archana and me. We're just good friends. - Friends. Nobody will criticise. For no reason, you were scared. Don't be scared. Before starting the play, there are certain rules. What was so funny about it? - I'm laughing because this is a comedy show. Let me explain the rules of this game. You can even phone a friend. You may also go in for an audience po

ll. Take the advice of the expert only if he agrees to. He's not worthy of giving an advice. Ignore this man. Kanwarlal! Sorry. She is Archana. Archana, be blessed. Shahid, stay blessed. Kiara, stay blessed. And me? - Stay with your limits. Shatru, stay blessed. You stay silent! Stay blessed. - Stay silent. Stay blessed. - Stay silent. Stay blessed.. - Stay silent.. Stay blessed.. - Stay silent.. Stay blessed.. - Stay silent.. Stay blessed.. - Stay silent.. Stay blessed.. - Stay silent.. Stay bl

essed.. - Stay silent.. Stay blessed.. - Stay silent.. No! - Instead of dancing, start the game! I will start the game only when I get the chance. Silence.. - Wait! Sit on this Rs. 2000 note. What will happen with this? Your weight will give pressure and give some change. You made me laugh too much. Sir, let's start the game. Let's play. - Sure. Shahid, I saw that Kabir.. Instead of the question, they've locked themselves. But anyway.. Let's start the game. Your film.. What is this? Let me start

the game. - Hey! What.. My face is hurting. Sir.. Are you relaxed now? Yes. Look! I've the power. Forget about it. Let's start the game. I've seen your film. You character in that film takes to drinking. Yes. - So, when you win in this game the prize will not be in money but in kind. I see. - Yes. Here comes the first question.. For this glass tumbler. This is not done! Only a glass tumbler for the honoured guests? Add a white pair of shoes from my side. Let's sit. The first question.. For a gl

ass and a white shoe. - For that. The question is on your computer screen! There is a song in one of your movies, 'Gandi Baat'. I want to know what's dirty in that. What was so funny about it? What's dirty about it? - I have no idea. Options.. - What is dirty about that song? Option, A.. - Let's see the options. - Options. Yes.. - What the actor said what too dirty. It was dirty. - Okay. - Option, B.. What he said was right, but his thoughts were dirty. Correct. - Option, C.. Both his words and

thoughts were decent but the place where all this happened was dirty. Oh no! - So, everything became dirty. Or option, D.. It's too dirty, I can't mention it on a family show. You can also take the expert advise. Yes, I think it's too important to take the expert advise. Mr. Jeetu! - Of course. For the first time, I'd like to speak the truth on this show. Yes.. - For the first time! There is nothing between Archana and me. What the heck! - He is after you! Yes! Archana, no one will say anything.

She was scared and nervous. I don't understand something. There is nothing between you and him. There's nothing between you and this person, too. Is there something going on between you and me? No, if something is going on do let me know. I need to inform the higher authorities. Okay, fine. There are some liabilities in my life. Mr. Shatru, would you like to suggest something? Silence! Is that a suggestion? You didn't even offer me a cup of tea and you expect me to offer a suggestion! Kiara, si

nce you are in front of me I feel something. - He feels something. What is it? - None of your business. If I thrash you, you will be dead. It didn't rhyme. I won't let it rhyme. Rhyming is growing up let's get her married. And yes.. If Shyam comes, tell him that Chenu was here. Mr. Jeetu, he is your friend. Why don't you make him understand? Don't you dare ask him to make me understand or else, I will beat you to a pulp. This is very wrong. Extremely wrong! Violence is no solution. We should mai

ntain harmony in this country. You are right. - Right? We should work with Ekta. - You are right.. I am right. Too good. Hello, Ekta. They're ready to work with you. Hail Goddess. No, sorry.. No, I won't call up. Okay. - What happened? Did Ekta scold you? No, her dad picked up the call. So, there was some problem. He abused me. You were scolded. This is so much fun. Good. You deserve that. Sir, I am waiting for your answer. You have options, A, B, C and D. Four options. What do you think, Kiara?

- D! D? Let me check. 'Let me check..' Wow! What happened? - Guys.. Ekta, an elephant has gone mad here. Come soon. Ekta! What happened? That's the right answer. Right answer! Amazing! If the answer was right, why did you scare us? That was a scary laughter. Silence! - Mr. Shatru, sit down. Look, your answer is right. - Okay. You win this glass. - Thank you. - And.. You'll get it later. - Sure. - What about the shoe? No, keep it. - Thank you. - The white shoe? You will get it later. - No.. Mr.

Jeetu, the shoe, please. Gift to the best dancer, Shahid. Yes. - I could take out only one. The other one is in problem. It's a gift from me. Bless you, dear. Wow! - Let's take this forward. The next question that I am about to ask will make you win a bowl of ice. Wow! - Okay.. Mr. Shahid? - Yes. You can put this also in your glass. - Also! Also! - It doesn't suit my character. But, you can give it to me. - It your ice. The pant is yours and so is your life. Your call! Whatever suits you. Hey, y

ou beggar! What are you doing? They're big celebrities. What is this, man? I don't like it. So? - They are affluent people. This is not done. - Then, what should I do? Who gives ice, man? Hold on. Okay. Give him this sock, too. Shahid will have fun, and so will we. This sounds fun! I don't know what was going on earlier. So, sir! For a bowl of ice.. - Yes. And for a sock. - A sock. Here is your next question on your computer screen! You must have heard the phrase.. 'I don't belong anywhere.' So,

those who don't belong anywhere where do they actually belong? Wow.. Let me tell you, those who don't belong anywhere they remain silent. They remain calm and grounded. I don't know, I live in Juhu. Those who don't belong.. - Forgive me but your knee is leaking. Okay. - Even I want to ask a question. Okay. - Do you have legs under your stomach? I am sure you have a nail cutter in your house. Nail cutter! - Yes.. Trim your nails, or else you'll look like a bear. Very good. - So, I was asking.. T

hose who don't belong anywhere where do they actually belong? Your options are, A.. They belong to their ego. Wow! Option, B.. They belong to traffic. There's too much traffic these days on roads. Option C, they remain lost. Yes. - Just like how you are in your movie. Option, D.. It doesn't matter where they belong. A huge population lives here and there. It doesn't matter where this one lives. Let him be. - Wow! So, these were your options. Tell me, Ms. Kiara. I think, they remain lost. They re

main lost. - Let me check. 'Let me check!' Wow! Remain seated. It's the right answer. Congratulations. This.. This is for you. This time, if you display too much enthusiasm then I will slap you. Too good. - Remain seated. Go back to your seat. Please be there. You've won this ice. - You forgot the sock. The sock! - The sock! Have fun. - It's okay. - Here you go. Here is your next question for a bottle of drink on your computer screen. Tell us, why does a dog pee only on a car tyre or pillar? You

r options are, A, dog enjoys firing the tyre. It's purely enjoyment. Option B. It expects that the car will run if it does that. You never know.. Or, it pees on the pillar to increase its length. Wishful thinking. Or, option D. It wets the pillar to create electricity. Hold on a minute! The mention of electric pole reminds me of something. - Is it? Friends, there is nothing going on between Archana and me. We are just friends. Excellent.. Hey, that's Mithun's dialogue. 'Excellent..' Yes, it is.

Did I say anything when you are talking like Govinda instead of Jitendra? Please proceed with the game, sir. I am doing that, Mr. White House. Okay, tell us your answer. - Okay. Option A. - Option A. - Yes. Let me check. Oh, no! What are you doing? It's okay. Come here.. They answered rightly. So, I said that. - Don't scare us. We lost but we didn't lose intentionally. - Right. No.. I am just saying. - Shut up! Just sit down! You have won. Here is the bottle of drink. Congratulation. Give them a

round of applause. What a winning streak! By the way, it was fun that you won three times back-to-back. How did you do the hat trick? I am feeling so happy that I want to dance with the two of you. But before that.. Before that, I want to say something. 'Get a taste of my love, hey, darling!' No darling. It will be 'Oh, Taki..' It has to be the song I mentioned. Mine! No, mine. - 'Taki, oh, taki.' Hey, you! The celebrities are here. Their song will be played.