The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2 - Fun Time With Saif - Ep 111 - Full Episode - 1st February, 2020

Thank you for all you love. Ms. Archana, you're aware that childhood comes and goes. Then comes youth and people don't want to let it pass. Who can understand that better than you? You look hot, woman! To be honest, youth is like a darling. - Yes. And there's a film coming with the title, 'Jawaani Jaaneman'. And the star cast of that film is coming here today. So firstly, with a huge round of applause, I'd like to call the very handsome, very stylish and the real Nawab in the industry superstar

Mr. Saif Ali Khan. Saif.. What are they saying? - He's married.. All the girls are screaming out your name. No, but listen.. Is Ms. Archana here everyday? Sir, our show generally airs on Saturday and Sunday. Oh, okay.. - But she's here from Monday to Friday. Mr. Sidhu is no more? No.. Hey! - I mean.. I mean.. the show.. - He's no more in the show. Did he mysteriously vanish or what happened? She's the only one who can tell us what happened. There's no mystery about it. Since how many years have

you been doing this show? It's been seven years. Seven years.. How long more will you drag it for? Sir, at least I'm earning.. - No.. It's everyone's favourite show.. - Thank you.. And it's the most lucky show. Everyone says, if someone comes to promote their film here it becomes a hit. Well.. - Super hit. It's God's grace. Sir, I was just wondering all these girls were screaming your name when you came in so what does Ms. Kareena call you? Kareena.. With that I remembered heartiest congratulati

ons for your daughter. - Thank you. Many congratulations. - Thank you.. You're married, isn't it? Yes.. Of course.. I'm asking as the last time my wife Kareena came here you were quiet flirtatious. It isn't like that. I get flirtatious no matter whose wife comes here. Fantastic! Mr. Saif, congratulations to you on the success of 'Tanhaji'. Fantastic. Thank you. The audience has loved your character a lot. We love any character that you play. But why didn't you come on our show when you knew that

this film will be a hit? I knew that it will be a hit but I didn't know that it will be a super hit. If not I would've surely come. But you're here today so most welcome. - Thank you. I thought that maybe you're scared of my English. Of course, I am a little bit. Or are you scared of Ms. Archana? I didn't know.. You know I did my first film with her. His debut film was with me. - Yes. I mean.. - With you.. She was a part of the film. Okay. Which film was it? 'Aashik Aawara'. - 'Aashik Aawara'.

In the year 1993. Wasn't it this one? - No.. - There was one more. 'Ole Ole' was the song from 'Yeh Dillagi'. It was Umesh Mehra's film. And I got married to Parmeet during 'Aashiq Awara's' shoot. That's right. I reached the set of 'Aashiq Awara' at 2 p.m. which was 15 minutes late, and the very day Umesh had decided to scold the artists who come late. I was punctual. But I came late that day and I was not spared. I couldn't even have told him that I got married. Because we married secretly. - S

ecret wedding. Yes. That was fashionable in those days. - Yes. It was a necessity those days. She had to marry secretly because there were a lot of girls behind her. And then they were told that even she is a woman. Ms. Archana, do you know what? When we compliment someone we say that they live a life of a prince. Sir, we would like to ask you this. What does a prince do as his hobby.. Flying kite.. What are royal hobbies, sir? What do I say? When the Pataudi family goes on a holiday.. You know.

We have 20-25 people working for us. - Okay. When I work out, I have a man to lift my hand. - Wow! I have someone to left my leg when I'm exercise.. He is a cool royal family member. Superb.. I'm just joking. Nobody is royal these days. We all have to work hard. That's right. - Yes. It's because of your hard work and talent that you dwell in everyone's heart. But the audience will have questions. - Yes. You are called 'Chote Nawab'. They want to know if you've ever done what normal people do. O

ur viewers have sent me a few questions for you. I would like to ask them. - Oh, God! They will now ask me the rates of onions.. - No.. And then.. - Once.. - I scoring zero this time. Your memory is very sharp, sir. We asked you all that five years ago when you had come to our show for the first time. I have done my rehearsal this time. Onion is Rs. 130 per kilo. Correct? - Kapil himself doesn't know the answer. It's Rs. 60 per kilo. - Rs. 60.. Rs. 60 per kilo? - Yes. - The price has gone down.

This is wrong. - I've started consuming onions again. I think they charge the movie stars more. Sir, here are the questions from your fans. Have you ever boarded an auto rickshaw? - For sure. When? - Many times? Actually, I had taken Taimur out. - I see. - I see. It might have been a year now. Sometimes, I stay in Bandra. It takes less time to commute in small vehicles. - Yes. So I have taken auto rickshaw many times. Wow! - Yes. What's the big deal in that? Have you ever worn your used clothes

without washing? They say that jeans should not be washed. - Yes. So.. - Do you believe it? But your jacket is very good. Where did you buy it from? Thank you.. Arjun Khanna, the designer, has made it. Is it customised? Who tore your pant? That's fashion. Fashion. They say, members of royal families don't work. - Yes. Have you ever done a job during your student life or later? Yes. When I completed my school and moved to Delhi.. Okay. - So.. I worked for sometime in an advertising agency. You mi

ght have worked there for experience. You never had issues with money. Actually.. I don't know. My father used to say that he'd pay me the pocket money what my friends get in average. - I see. - Oh! I always needed more money. - Okay. We always needed more money. But we didn't use to get it. Okay. Very good. Normally, we run short of toothpaste. We run short of toothpaste. - Okay. - It gets over. So, nobody would be watching us then. - Yes. We are alone in the bathroom. - Correct. So, do we pres

s it and.. - Of course.. Right. Yes. You are right. And you.. And then, the last portion oozes out. And then we take it out from a pencil.. So true! - What an observation! - Yes. The last portion comes out.. - Yes. The wrap actually spits it out. - Yes. Correct. Oh! We never expected that you have done such things. - No. Every time, many times. When you want to scratch your back.. - Okay. So, have you rubbed your back against a wall? Of course, I have done it many times. So even you do things wh

ich we usually do. - Yes. At times, the zip of our pant gets loose. And then we fix it with candle wax. Yes. - Do you have any idea about this invention? Using candle wax to fix zip. No, I haven't heard of it. Who all have done this in life? But let me ask you this. How do we get rid of candle wax from our clothes? Do you know that? - By using powder? How do we take it off? - You should deep freeze it. You should keep it in the refrigerator. - I see. And then it gets hard. - Yes. Or else, you sh

ould keep paper on it and iron it. And then it comes out like a sticker. Look, that's what people from royal family do. - Got it? Wow! When you go to your village, Pataudi have you ever slept on the terrace there with the mosquito net on? - Yes. My grandma used to sleep outside. I see! - And even I've slept outside many times. Wow! - Like that.. It feels nice. But in the morning, we'll have to get up early - Right. The moment the sun rises. - Yes, when the sun is up. Actually.. - We need to get

up at 6 a.m. We get up at 6 a.m. and go to our room. - Correct! There are many benefits of sleeping outside. Early in the morning.. - Yes, the fresh air.. In childhood, have you ever taken money from your dad's pocket? - Yes. Actually, my mom has complete idea about the amount of money and its place. Sometimes, when I.. I used to get caught immediately. - I see! when I tried to steal but my dad used to be a little rich. A bundle of one rupee notes would be there near his bed. I see! - In London,

sometimes, I.. You would take it out.. - I never got caught. But he knew that.. If I steal from mom, I get caught immediately. Sir, have you ever played 'Gilli Danda'? - I have. I have.. I've played 'Pittu', 'Gilli Danda' and everything else.. Wow! - Yes! I've been told that the lords mostly play golf. I've grown up in a village. I used to roll the tyre with the stick. Would you like to do it? - Yes, sure. - Bring it. I'd actually thought about it and you spoke my mind. With this, our TRP goes

up. Mr. Saif was caught rolling a tyre. Please come, sir. Please come. Let's have a race from here. Ms. Archana! Hold on. - Ready? Will you start it by saying one, two, three? - Okay. One, two, three, go! Wow! Not bad! You are a pro, man! - Amazing, sir! You did it like a pro! - Then? With this, we come to the end of viewers' questions. A hearty welcome to you. Thank you. Please come. So, we'll be continuing the conversation with Mr. Saif. Let's now invite the remaining actors playing the import

ant roles in 'Jawaani Jaaneman'. So, amidst your loud round of applause, I would like to invite our favourite very sweet versatile actress, Tabu and also Ms. Farida Jalal. Oh! And, accompanying them is Mr. Chunky Pandey and Kubbra Sait and Alaya Furniturewala who is making her debut in Bollywood with this movie. You have to sit next to him. Go. - Go. Ms. Tabu, please come here. - Sorry, sir.. Why so far? I was waiting for you to call me saying, 'Come, sit next to me, Tabu'. Don't say it, Tabu. D

on't. Fix the microphone in the hair.. - I've fixed it. It's already fixed. - Then why am I holding this? After seeing you.. - Just.. Nobody can do comedy in front of you. You got mesmerised on seeing me.. A hearty welcome to you all. - Thank you. - Mr. Chunky Kubbra, Ms. Farida, greetings. - Greetings. Alaya, a hearty welcome to you. Ms. Tabu. - Thank you. I welcome you from the bottom of my heart. I've been told that girls like deep voice. It's nonsense! I am already impressed with you, sir. I

called her up for my wedding, and she's going on laughing. 'Are you getting married?' I asked, can't I? She said, 'no'. I said I'm a poor guy. I can't get married to you. So, I am just.. What else could I do? You look very cute. It's nice when you smile. That's why I come on your show frequently. Please keep visiting us. It's not necessary to come here only during movie promotions. You can pay casual visits. - I know. Seriously. No. I am doing a lot of movies so that I can come here often. Acts

in movies. - Acts in movies. - Very good. I am your fan. I always like to see you. Mr. Chunky, what a luck you are having! - Really! Mind-blowing! He is having lucky days. You are working with such a beautiful heroine. Moreover, you've got the chance to come on our show for the third time. Three times in six months! - In this season. Wow.. - Do you know? Seeing your success, the bank can offer you loan without any guarantor. - What! When? - Do you know? - 'When?' You know? Ms. Archana tells the

bank staff that she's your friend and takes loan in your name. Nonreturnable loan. - 'Nonreturnable..' Chunky wants that and not the loan. He just wants money. Just give it to him, don't ask him to return it. But, sir, we watched your movie trailer. 'Jawaani Jaaneman' seems to be a very interesting movie. Congratulations, everyone! - Thank you. By seeing the pretty girls, I got an idea about youth. Who is the 'sweetheart' in the movie? Ms. Farida? - Guess. - Ms. Farida is the sweetheart. Ms. Fa

rida is the sweetheart of everyone. - It's her. Actually, his youth is his.. - Youth is the sweetheart. Is his sweetheart. - Okay. His youth is.. - Love.. - I mean, it's all about the youth basically. Mr. Chunky, what's your character in the movie? I am the owner of a night club. - Okay. And I serve free wine to everybody. Very soon I get bankrupt. - Oh God! People will enjoy watching you serve free wine. It's a completely opposite character for you. Amazing. Dream sequence. - Mr. Chunky when wi

ll this happen? In the movie, Mr. Saif's mom misunderstands him. It often happens. We misunderstand people. Ms. Tabu, you are so pretty. You care about people around you. Does it ever happened, that you had showed care to someone and they started bothering you. Have you met any such fan? - Yes. So, how do you deal with those kind of fans? We will prepare ourselves for that. Next question please. Okay, actually it wasn't a question. I just casually asked it. So, Ms. Farida misunderstands Mr. Saif

for a gay. Just like I asked. Sir, it often happens in real life. You say something to someone and they get it in a wrong way. Have you ever faced any such situation. We know you are so sweet. But still. So many times. Mostly in interviews. - Okay. Well.. So many girls have crush of Mr. Saif. Alaya, this is your first movie with Mr. Saif. - Yes. Haven't you ever thought girls go crazy about Saif. But when it was your turn he made you his daughter. Weren't you angry? No, I was already flattered.

And.. Actually, I don't know I should say it or not. Just say it. - Shall I? Yesterday, we were promoting the movie. So many people were saying Mr. Saif 'Oh my God.. Mr. Saif' 'my mother is such a big fan of you.' And Mr. Saif was like.. Why is everyone's mother a fan? Then he said, whatever pays the bills. It was four times. - Yes, he's right. Please, before we go we need one picture for my mother. For me, it's one step forward. - Time marches on. But you are cutting across generations, right.

I don't mind.. I am very happy. It's a good thing. Thank you. I have done so many live shows with Kubra. I used to do lots of live shows. - Right. Eight years back we have done so many live shows. - Right. But I didn't know Kubra is such a great actor. First of all, congratulations. - Thank you so much. Thank you.. We have done so many shows, but you never told me about your interests. - Mr. Kapil, you never flirted with me. - He reserved it just for me. - Come on! It's not fair. This is wrong.

He just.. - This is wrong. So, we have a deal. Kapil has reserved flirting just for camera. Okay. He doesn't spend it on live shows. - Right. But nobody takes me seriously. Even if I praised someone like 'You are so cute'. They just ignore me. But now you are married. So, your wife has definitely taken you seriously at some point, right? At some point? - I mean, come on.. But Kubra, I have heard you weren't interested in acting. You said it somewhere. You said, I don't have interest. - No, I di

dn't know I can do it, if I got a chance. That's why I did wherever I got an opportunity. I was a maid in my first movie. I don't know whether I will get a second chance or not. Yes, actually.. - I did when I got a chance. It's true.. - Absolutely. So, I mean.. - That's amazing. Wonderful! Love you. Oh, I love him. Hey, guys.. - Hey! The hero of the movie. Hello.. - Hello.. Hello! - Hello! Ms. Archana, how are you? Absolutely fine, Kiku. How are you? I am good. - Mr. Kapil, what are you doing? Y

ou invited the entire cast of the movie but you didn't invite me. First of all, keep your tummy aside and then talk to me. Why should I invite you? What do you mean? I am in the movie. - What! - Yes. Kiku, is also in the movie. Also, there's no interval in the movie. - Why? The reason for which he was casted is you can use toilet when you see him on screen. You can use it. Kapil, treat me like a celebrity. Oh! - Oh! Enough. Kiku, you are fantastic in the movie. - Of course! He has done a great j

ob. Trust me.. - Thank you.. But sir, look how he's treating me. He's not even introducing me. So, I will do it myself. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. The heart of 'Kapil Sharma Show'. The man who plays the character of Achchha Yadav and Bachcha Yadav. The man who elevated the show's TRP to 4.1. And the man who overtook Kapil Sharma in his own show. One of the greatest and talented actor Kiku Sharda. Thank you. Thank you.. Thank you. Mr. Saif, tell me the truth. - He did everything. Is he

really a part of movie with these many dialogues? No. - Not at all. He delivered two dialogues. That too was edited out by the sensor. Why? Did you work with him, Ms. Tabu? No. - What about you, Ms. Farida? No. - How about you? No. - No. What do I ask you now? Something like, 'have you ever given an interview?'. Or did you take it back after giving one? Ask.. - Anyway, welcome, Mr. Kiku. Firstly, met me ask you is your role in the film bigger than your brief? No, listen.. Look, I'm not even jok

ing here. I'm genuinely curious. What's the size of your brief? There's a shot in the trailer of that underwear, right? Yes. - Actually, that's his. Come on, stop talking about underwear and ask me about my role. Ask me what's my role in the film. How many rolls did your eat in the film? I mean, chicken roll, egg roll and the likes. That's not it. Be serious. Ask me 'how did you break in to movies, Mr. Kiku?'. Go on. - I want to ask you why did you appear in movies? Things were going swell for y

ou here. Why did you go? And when did you go? You appeared in a movie called 'Firangi', right? Well done! Oh! How is that relevant here? Well, if you're going to give me a hard time then I'm going to give you a hard time. Thank you. Thank you very much. The audience has a few questions for all of you. You can hold on to these. Just rise them for a 'yes' or a 'no' in respect to the questions I ask. That's for you. This is yours. I have one for you each. Everyone is a part of this. - Right. You'll

keep one too? - Yes, sir, I am. Okay. Time for the questions. You guys are film stars. Have you ever broken your shoe as you walk along that forced you to walk in this manner? Or did you do the uneven walk that people do. Has it ever happened? Absolutely. - Did you break a heel? Yes. God blessed you with an in built heel, so why.. You should never wear heels. - Why? Because if your heel breaks God forbid, a person can die under your feet if you fall from that height. Alaya, when did that happen

to you? Oh, my! - Oh! I've suffered that many times. It's not unusual. Right. - Yes. Get it checked. - You see, my heel.. My heels just keep breaking. Do why do girls wear so tall heels? I want to look tall. But, I imagine it's difficult to wear them. Hats off to you guys for walking on heels. Let me just pretend I'm wearing high heels. Right. - I can't walk. Hello. Hi. Someone calls me from behind. Hi... Kubbra, when did you suffer that? I don't remember? But, it has happened. Of course.. - Wh

at about you, Mr. Chunky? It was when I was in 'Ramayana'.. Why were you wearing heels in the first place? I'm talking about shoes. I was in the Red Fort for the 'Ramayana'. - Right. I went up to the stage to pray to Lord Ram. The organisers made me leave my shoes outside. Right. - And they got stolen. Oh! - I travelled barefoot from Delhi to Mumbai. You could have bought a new pair. That's what I was thinking! I was wondering exactly that. Oh, too good. Now, film stars need to be very careful b

ecause they can't do certain things in public. Like, for example, yawning. Were you ever caught by someone in the middle of a yawn and you had to improvise? Like this.. Has it ever happened to you? Has that ever happened to you, Ms. Farida? No, yawning is a normal and a natural thing. Right. - Why would I improvise? I will simply yawn. People do that sometimes. - I don't. Do you know that only humans can't control their yawning? Take for example dogs, Mr. Saif. Okay. - Try making a noise. As the

dog is yawning and there is a sudden noise it reacts differently. I'm going to yawn and you make a noise, okay? Dogs can instantly break out of it. Now, I have observed a few more things about dogs. When humans sneeze they waste a lot of time. It takes forever. And then we use tissues.. Watch how dogs sneeze. It does it in the middle of a walk you couldn't tell. It runs and.. Let's talk about those messages we receive that tells us to forward the message for good luck. Oh, God! - Yes. Do you re

ceive such messages? - Every day. We get them every day. Have you ever tried to test them by forwarding? I forward them back to the sender. Good one. What about you, Mr. Saif? - I do get them. Do you forward them? - I did, once. Why? Maybe it was during a film release. No. There must've been something. I figured it may help. So I forwarded it. And my friends asked me if I was okay. I sent my mother and she asked me what was wrong with me. That's the last time I ever did. Has anyone pulled a pran

k on you that made you angry? Are you talking about Akshay Kumar? No. In fact, Ms. Tabu has done many films with Ajay Devgn, a big prankster in Bollywood. So has he never pranked you? - I know him since childhood so no one pranks me. I'm very boring. - Okay. Because I'm part of their pranks and I know I can't give any reaction. - Okay. So he has never tried a prank on me. Have you never been pranked, Saif? - No. Alaya, with you? Me? I'm sure I must have been. I'm trying to think of an example. P

eople do scare pranks on me. - Why? I get scared easily. - Great. You just gave him a weapon. No, it's not a weapon. But what are you scared of? Everything. Love? No, I'm not scared of love. She is scared of getting slapped. I can't even talk about it, Mrs. Farida? You can, son. You can. We have actually done a lot of pranks with Ajay. You have done pranks with Ajay? - Yes. Really? - He deserves it. Akshay had done a prank with me in Houseful 1. - What? He took us to a restaurant in Italy. He to

ld everyone in our unit that it's his treat. So everyone went. Drank wine. Ate food. And then I went to the washroom because the bill was due. It doesn't feel good. I'm a senior. So I went to the washroom and these people left me in there, took a van and left. So, I came out of the washroom thinking that Akshay has paid the bill. The manager of the hotel came searching for me. He caught me and took me to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And then Sajid Nadiadwala came back and saved me. But you co

uld have paid and ended it there. I didn't have any money! What is the weirdest dream you ever had? I got a weird dream just last night. - What? I have these friends. One of them is a little elder. She's 60. - Okay. I got a dream that she was eaten by a crocodile. Last night. I get a lot of weird dreams. Some days ago I dreamt that we had gone to get a cylinder. And the neighborhood started shooting at us. I don't know why I got a dream like that. And I'm crying and asking for forgiveness. The c

ylinder could have burst, right? - Yes. He always talks of gas. That's why he got such a dream. I had a dream once where auto drivers were not ready to take me somewhere. I told them to get down I'll go by myself. So I got in the auto but as the auto is moving ahead, the parts of the auto fall down one by one. It fell apart? - The whole auto fell apart and then I woke up. They say if you see shit you will get rich. Oh my.. - Really. And if you smell it then you will win a lottery. You should get

up and check if you have shit yourself. Tabu, what weird dream have you got? I get very weird dreams. I usually get dreams where I'm getting late for a shoot. - Oh yeah. And then I get dreams of aircrafts. That I'm sitting alone in a plane and the aircraft is flying inside the city on its wheels. That made me remember a real life incident. - What? We were shooting for 'Cocktail' in South Africa. I had to get on a plane. And I was alone. There was no one at the airport except for an airhostess.

She told me that I can go since I'm the only one. I said.. Wait. I said I'm the only one. This has never happened before. So I walked on the tarmac and stopped in front of the plane. The airhostess was standing at the door and I took out my phone and I was clicking photos of the plane. As this was the first time it happened. And then when I went in the entire plane is full! And everyone's looking at me and I think she meant that I'm the only one left. I swear it's not a joke. Alaya, what weird d

ream did you have? - Actually when the trailer of 'Jawaani Jaaneman' released I saw it many times. And then in my dream I was telling my real dad that there's a 33.33 percent chance that you are my father. - No, don't lie. No, I swear! I swear. It's a good thing that you are so involved in your work. You should be. Mrs. Farida, have you ever got a weird dream? Yes, I too get them like everyone else. I'm petrified of water. I never learnt to swim as I was very afraid of water. So I got this dream

a lot, of being in the middle of the sea and drowning. And I just wanted to stand up. And the water is below. And then I see that the water is below and I'm standing on top of it. And then I felt great. - Wow. That's great. Such dreams sound fun now. But when we get them it terrifies us. - Yes. Absolutely. With this, the audiences' questions are over. Thank you. Hello.. Hello.. Hello, I was waiting for you. My God! I have heard so much about your beauty parlour. Thank you.. Today, the cast of '

Jawaani Jaaneman' has come. Huge round of applause for them. Yeah.. - How are you, Sapna? My God! Hello.. - Hello.. - Hello.. Hello, how are you? Hello. Hello. - Hello. Hello. - Hello. I'm your fan.. - Very nice.. Sapna.. Hello. Oh, thank you.. Love you. - Thank you.. How are you? I have cooked something special for you. Oh, what is it? - This is diamond potato. Diamond potato.. It's called 'Jeera Aloo'. What are you saying.. Nawabs eat diamond potato.. Saif, sweetheart.. - Yeah, I mean it. In h

is house, the rooster doesn't crow in the morning. I mean it. The day the hen exceeds.. - What about it? It will become 'Mughlai chicken'.. Hello, how are you.. I needed to ask questions. - Please.. You are very handsome and smart. - Yes.. So when you hit the gym.. - Yeah.. So do you exercise and build muscles or there also do you the same thing. When I look at you all I can think of is a single word. What? - What? - Wow! Wow! - Wow! Sapna, what are you doing here? Can I get the job of being a n

anny to Taimur? I mean it. Have you kept a nanny? Yeah, we have one. No worries, she must be only taking care of Taimur. Yeah. - I'm ready to take care of his father as well. It's all right, if you don't want to assign me a job but make me marry a nawab. What about your boyfriend, Mukesh? When I'm getting a nawab then why do I need Mukesh? Hello, Ms. Tabu. How are you? I was waiting for you.. - Very nice, yeah.. You do marvelous work. You are a great actress. Huge round of applause for Ms. Tabu.

I have seen all your movies. Every movie.. I'm a big fan of yours.. I say it in front of the public that if I will be needing help with anything then I will call you. Please, pick my call. Tabu.. Okay, you.. - Amazing! Why are you crying? - Seeing her.. Hello, how are you? He's a very senior actor. I'm watching him since childhood. - Yes.. Yeah, I mean it! I got my baby teeth when his movie 'Aankhen' was released. Oh my.. Ms. Tabu, there was a song.. Which one? - 'Raah Mein' 'Unse Mulaqat Ho Ga

yi..' What happened, tell me? I have never encountered such issue in my life. If there is any such issue, then tell me. I have got sand, we will settle it here. There's no such problem.. There already is sand. - Is it? - Since many years! No worries, Ms. Archana will pour water on it. It will become a puddle and when a person slips on it then she will run and sit on his chair. This is how it is progressing.. Actually.. You worked in another song 'Ruk Ruk'.. Hearing the same many foreigners staye

d in India. Really? - Neil Nitin Mukesh also resides. Ms. Farida, how are you? Very nice. - I'm good.. You must be very busy during Mother's day, right? Why? - She has enacted as a mother in many movies.. Jackie Shroff says to everyone that you are my kid.. She says the same to him! Correct.. You are my kid.. - What are you saying? She's a very senior actress. You are talking as if she has pampered AK Hangal. She isn't very senior. Hello. - Hello. - How are you? Very good. - There are only two t

hings running in the movie industry. - What is it? On the television it's 'Nagin' and digitally its cobra. Cobra.. Kubbra.. Her name is Kubbra.. Kubbra? - Yes. Hello, Kubbra. - Hello, how are you? How is your sir? I mean, how is Kubbra Sait.. Great, is it? - Yes, great.. Hello. - Hello. Very nice.. You are very good. Thank you. - Your future is bright. Huge round of applause for her. She's very nice. - Thank you. I'm shifting to Mira road. I need dining table.. - You need furniture.. Yeah.. You

are asking her for furniture since his surname is Furniture Wala. Right? Are you mad? I am your sister. I am self-sufficient. I have all that. - Then? Get me a flat in Nala Sopara. No.. Anyway! Mr. Saif, I have a beauty parlour here. - Yes. This is the first time you've come here, haven't you? - Yes. Ms. Tabu has already been here. I've different types of massage to offer. - Please tell me. I'm curious.. - I have 'Ole ole' massage for you. What is that? - What is that? So, I apply oil on the cus

tomer and start the massage. So he asks me to put some more oil. I do that and continue the massage. He then asks me to put some more oil. Now I get angry and pour the whole oil on him and he screams 'Ole ole..' - 'Ole ole'.. 'Loose end' - What? Ms. Tabu has a special request. When she was here last time we offered something called loose end massage. What is it? - This is what it is. So we drag the loose thread ends of the underpants.. Sapna, stop.. Stop it.. - Hilarious! Sorry, ma'am. I won't s

ay it again. You had a movie named 'Maachis Massage'. Its name was 'Maachis'. - I know. - 'Maachis Massage'? I have a massage versions of that film. - I see. I'll talk about myself. Why will I talk about the film? What's 'Maachis Massage'? So, I shut my parlour and my mom comes. - Oh, God! My mom asks me to do her massage. Sapna, I will thrash you. Stop it. Ma'am, who can deny her mother? So now we have run out of oil. So we apply cheese on mom. That's 'Mother-cheese massage'. 'Maachis'. Oh, God

! My mom says that it's smelly and I tell her that's how it is supposed to be. That's what about 'Maachis Massage'. And we also have 'Ching's Desi Chinese Massage'. 'Chings Desi Chinese Massage'. - So here.. we apply 'Chings desi Szechuan Chutney' on customer. Sick! He tastes it and finds it good and he goes into the sky like a rocket. How is this a massage? - It's not a massage. They are sponsors. We have to integrate them. Very good! I will take your leave, sir. I have work. A lot of people fr

om film industry visit us. Last time, Anurag, left his Kashyap here. I have to return it to him. Awesome! Bye! - Bye! Bye, Sapna! Mr. Saif, do you have a bodyguard? No. - Have one. - I know. Because there're people planning to kidnap you. - Oh, God! I will tell you. Just watch the video. Pari, if you get a chance to abduct a guy in real life who would that be? This is going to be controversial. If I actually want to.. If I'm not getting a chance to meet him and if I've to kidnap him, I would kid

nap Saif Ali Khan. Oh, wow! Please don't be so shocked. - Oh, God! What deal have you made with Saif Ali Khan, God? He already has Kareena Kapoor and even Parineeti Chopra is thinking of kidnapping him. Oh, God! - Kill me.. Look, everything is safe. I have told Kareena that I love Saif a lot. Even he has agreed for it. It's not that we are going to abduct her. This is just a long-distance love. Please love even me from the same distance. What is this? - This is just for camera. I'm going now. Th

is is just for camera. - You are now caught. She is like my.. - You are caught. You should have edited it. She is like my cousin girlfriend. Cousin girlfriends are fabulous. They are great. A lot of heroines tell you that they want to kidnap you. I will show you the photos of some heroines. - Okay. You tell me whom you find the most beautiful among them and who among them you'd like to kidnap. - Okay. If all of them are beautiful, I will kidnap them all. Please see them once. You might change yo

ur mood. Ritesh. Oh! My darling, Ritesh! Oh, look.. - Deshmukh? - Yes. But look at Ritesh's figure! Next. - It's so.. Is that Shah Rukh? - Ajay.. - No.. It is not Ajay Devgan. - Yes, it is. Is that Ajay? - Yes, it's him. Ajay would be a bad-looking girl. Never.. I'm not kidnapping her. - No kidnapping.. Next. - He'll kidnap guys. - Kajol is safe. Yes. Who is this? - Salman. Salman.. - Salman. No! What film was that? - It was 'Jaan-E-Mann'.. - Wow! Who has the courage to kidnap him? We have other

beautiful heroines too. Oh, my God! Where's that from? - Look at their bodies.. Sanju.. - Sanjay.. Sanju need Sapna's beauty parlour. For his eyebrows.. Yes.. - We have some more. Aamir.. - Aamir.. Is it Aamir or Mamta Kulkarni? I can't recognise. - It's Aamir. He looks like Mamta. It looks like Mamta from 'Aashiq Awara'. Next. - His smile.. Oh! I want that. Mr. Chunky, we have a video for you as well. Please show it. My video? What's happening here? - You look so cute. I look crazy. - Mr. Chun

ky's photo.. Ananya, your father is a celebrity. Yes. - You've become a celebrity too. Yes. - So, when people become a celebrity they use expensive products for their skin. This is turmeric. - You have put turmeric paste. Yes. - So do you really like turmeric Yes. - Are you like your father.. Stingy? - No. Stingy? No, dad has taught me.. - Turmeric paste? saving money.. - Yes. You don't need it. You have such a pretty face. Because of turmeric. - Yes. You keep quiet. Thank you. I am the one who

raised her.. - Yes. And she is talking about me like this. I'll kick her out of my property. Tabu, this is one of your dialogues. 'I hate phone calls.' What sort of phone calls do you hate? I hate all sorts of phone calls. - You really don't like it? So, nobody should call you? - Texting? Sometimes but.. - You don't like communicating at all? - Yes, sorry. You don't like talking.. - Only when I want to talk I'll call. - That's what my father said once that.. - Right? When the mobile phones were

newly introduced. Somebody told my father that his number of reach. He said that the phone is for him to make calls. Nobody can call him any time they want. Is it? - I have the same question. I have bought the phone to make things easier for me not others. I understood this very late. I would like to ask all my audience here what are those phone call which you hate answering to? Yes, mister. Hello, Kapil. - Hello, sir. My name is Sanjeev Malhotra. I have come from Jaipur. Welcome, Mr. Malhotra.

- I am a banker. I get a lot of calls at late hours. And lately a lot of ladies are calling me. Ladies? - Yes. So, I was getting too worried. I was getting a call from a lady constantly from past few days. Whenever I used to answer.. Initially, I spoke to her. Okay. - But since the call was on landline so I couldn't check whose number was it. So, you got irritated because a lady was calling you? I had no other alternative because the land line phone is connected to the bedroom and my wife sleeps

next to me. So, the problem is you were irritated because you couldn't talk in front of your wife? Yes, that's the reason. Otherwise, you're a banker. You know about investment. So, what does she used to say after calling you? She used to first ask me for my name and other details and whenever I used to ask her she would never tell me about herself. So, you were interested as well? Or else you would've asked her to cut the call. Mr. Malhotra. - Yes. Is your wife here? - Yes, she is sitting with

me. Oh. - Sit down, thank you. Ms. Malhotra. Hello, ma'am. Did you never ask her to talk? - No, I didn't get a chance. I used to talk to her before but after sometime I stopped answering the call. Okay. - Because she would start questioning me. Ma'am, please check. He might have given his personal number. I don't know but there are a lot of scams these days. Thank you. Anybody else who wants to share their story. Yes, mister. - Hello, Mr. Kapil. Hello, sir. - Hello, Ms. Archana. Hello. - Hello,

everybody. Hello. - I have come from Pune. My name is Aditya Gandhi. - Okay. Lot of people hate phone calls where as I like phone calls. I get a call for massage and spa.. Oh. - Sometimes So, I like those calls. I ask them for more details. They tell me that they have three types of massage one is for 500 rupees, a 1000 rupee massage and a 1,500 rupee massage. So, they say for 500 rupee there is a male therapist. And they will make me feel comfortable. What does that mean? So, I enquired them a

bout 1000 rupee massage. And they said that there is male and female therapist who are foreigners. And the steam is offered in it as well. After that I asked them about 1,500 rupee massage. They said that there will be two lady therapist.. And they will give me a nice full body massage. With steam as well. So, I talk to them and entertain myself. What is this? He is like Sapna. So they say there three things always and you're enjoying it? Yes, I am. Go and get the steam once so that your emotion

s can come out. What do you do for a living? I am an Engineering student. This is my final year. When you get busy, these calls will not be fun anymore. Sir, when they don't call sometimes I call them myself. Thank you. Anybody else from the audience? Yes, sir. Hello, Mr. Kapil. - Hello. Sir, when you took over the mic then ma'am, sitting next to you was very happy. Are both of you together? - Yes. We are together. - How are you related? She is my wife. Okay. She was very happy when you took ove

r the mic. 'My husband has the mic.' Where are you from? - I am from Mumbai. And your wife? - She is also from Mumbai. Okay. Both of you stay together. - Yes. Sir, what is your name? My name is Alpesh Jain. - Yes, Mr. Alpesh. We rarely find PCO's now. - Right. When PCOs were in function.. - Yes. I have played many pranks. - Oh! - I see. I used to own a shop. We had a PCO. - Okay. Many boys used to visit my shop to make calls to their girlfriends and talk. What I used to do.. I used to.. - Insert

the coin and redial. I used to put the coin and redial.. - Redial. I used to tell the girls that the boy is not right. I used to tell her to break up with him. And that he goes around with other girls. I have.. What a guy! He is so creative. What a guy! - Ma'am, is this your love marriage? Arranged. - This is arranged marriage. I thought, you found her by redialing. What would you gain by doing this? I used to enjoy. What is anybody had done this to you? - I know. This never happened. But sir,

once.. It did not happen. - Unfortunately.. A boy had come who was not right. He was lying to the girl. I called the girl up and told her that she should find out facts about that boy. And that he is not right. Okay. - And I had given her the number of my shop. Okay. - She enquired about him. He was not right. And she thanked me. And we became good friends. Oh, wow! - Oh! You have done one noble deed. Did you tell this to your wife? No. She learnt about it today. She learnt it today. She will be

at you up when you reach home. When she hits you with her elbow on your back.. You shouldn't reveal such secrets. All right. You used to enjoy this. Thank you, sir. - May you always be happy. Enjoy your life as much as you want. Thank you, sir. - Thank you. Come on, Mr. Jain. We have a gift for you. Ms. Tabu, this is.. - Oh! Hand over this gift to him. It's 'Chings'. Congratulations. You get a gift hamper. This is India's favourite 'Desi Chinese'. Thank you. Mr. Kapu Sharma, may I please call my

grandmother? Grandmother? - Yes. Why? - Because I am in Mumbai since 10 years. Okay. - And I, on my own way have tried acting, hosting and everything. - Okay. But she never said that.. You have arrived. - Okay. And when I told her that I am coming to your show.. So sweet. She has decided that I have finally arrived. Arrived. - So sweet. Thank you. Convey my regards to her. So let's try. If she answers the phone. Sure. You can try. No problem. Let's try. I don't know. She will answer. Hello, Gra

ndma. Grandma, I am calling you from the Kapil Sharma Show. And Kapil wants to say 'Hi' to you. Actually he is very confused. Would you like to say 'Hi' to Kapil? What if she scolds me? - Yes. Yes. What should I address her as? - Grandma. Is she your maternal grandma? Yes. But I call her mother. Hello! - 'Hi, Kapil.' 'How are you?' Hello! 'Hello! How are you?' Hello, ma'am. I am fine. How are you? 'I am fine.' Congratulations! Your granddaughter met me finally. We are very old friends. We have k

nown each other for years. We have done shows together. - 'Yes.' That's so sweet of you that you watch our show. Thank you so much. - 'Yes.' 'I had watched the award function as well.' Okay. - 'Yes.' Do you watch all our shows? 'Yes, I do.' Do you like Ms. Archana? 'Yes. She is nice.' 'Yes. She is nice.' She is nice comedy. Thank you, ma'am. Thank you. 'Welcome.' - Do come to our show. 'Sure.' - Thank you. Thank you, ma'am. Thank you so much. - Thank you so much, Kubra. So sweet. - Thank you. Th

ank you. Thank you, Grandma. That's so sweet. Hello! Wow! - Hello, dear. How are you, Kapil? I am here. How are you, dear? Kappu.. She is my Aunt Kammo. She is from Delhi. She is not going back. - I can see that. This is the star cast of 'Jawaani Jaaneman', isn't it? Nobody informed me that they are here. And you're laughing like a mad. You should've called my name. Ms. Farida, how are you? We were college mates in Delhi. How are you? - I'm elder than you. Please sit down. Boys were crazy about

me. She has seen everything. Hello, dear. - Hi! Look at Tabassum. Did you increase your height or not? Hello, Saif! How are you? - I'm fine. Nice. Kapil, what have you done. What? - Why is Archana sitting in front of a royal man? Should I arrange something royal here? No.. Don't arrange it. Cover her with a curtain. Mr. Saif, I want to ask you something. - Yes? It's about Kareena. - Okay. What does Kareena prefer in dinner? Is it Kebab or your title Nawab? Aunt, how does it matter to you? I was

very interested. Ms. Archana, I had a wish that after seeing me Ms. Sharmila should say that I'm her daughter-in-law. She would put a bunch of keys in my waist. Tabu, how are you? You're doing good movies. There was a good song in your movie. "Stop.." You said stop. Ajay Devgn stopped. I said the same and his uncle passed away. Uncle stopped because he was a taxi driver. Are you done? - No. We are friends, right? - Yes. You seem to be doing Extra-marital affair stories. In the movie 'Andhadhun',

she had an extra-marital affair. In the movie 'De De Pyaar De', Ajay Devgn did the same. He is playing a similar role in this film too. Please get me a movie of same story. Aunt, what will you do in the movie? I'll do nothing. Saif Ali Khan's wife will be at home. I'll have an affair with him. You see a royal man entering with an orchestra in the movie. That doesn't mean, he likes drum. Amazing, Kapil. You said, I look like a drum. Ms. Farida, I was a good singer. There were men from royal fami

lies fan of my singing. There you go again. What can I do? It's the one who is thirsty goes to the well, right? I'd love to swim if the well is good. Hold on! - What happened? - Ms. Kareena. My aunt is here. Feel free to talk to her. Here you go, Ms. Kareena is on call. Stop doing this. You called her up in front of her husband, I'm not afraid her. If she is a film artist, even I'm a television artist. She does two movies in a year. I appear on television every week. Hold on. Quiet! She'll assum

e that her husband is enjoying. Hold on. I'm not scared of her. Hello, sweetheart! Yes. Ms. Kareena, how are you? Mr. Saif is here. Yes. He's sitting here. As soon I entered, he started referring to me as 'sister' and started crying. I promise. I just tied 'Rakhi' to him. He can't talk to you. I tied 'Rakhi' to him, so he having Laddu. Yes. Did Taimur sleep? Give him my love. Ms. Kareena, bye! Take your phone! Well, I am not scared of anybody. Hold on.. Who is this girl? She is quiet since long

time. Kapil, I've seen similar eyes somewhere. Yes. - Dear, do this. She resembles Kabir Bedi. She is his granddaughter and the daughter of Pooja Bedi. Is she Pooja's daughter? Is she the granddaughter of Bedi? Oh, my God! Come dear, take my blessings. Come on, dear. - Greetings! I used to hug Mr. Bedi like this. They've are of same height. You're looking beautiful. - Thank you. Don't be quiet here. You can think that it's your show. One more thing, I'm not your aunt. You can address me as 'cous

in grandma'. Cousin grandma! What's cousin grandma? - What is it? Archana, let me tell them about it. If someone's grandpa's love is incomplete.. But to tell you honestly. Young and handsome, I mean.. He was so handsome.. Mr. Kabir Bedi. He was similar to the character of Kabir Singh. If anyone touches me, he would go.. 'Who touched her!' He used to get so angry. I used to enjoy. Dear, will you pass my message to him? So first let me tell you something. Sure. - Boys find my mom very attractive.

Today as well? - And girls find my grandpa very attractive. - Right. I am not so attractive. I just want to act well. Yes. - Dear.. - No.. Look from our perspective. Look at him. Dear, we will continue talking. You.. I saw the promo. You've acted really well. - Thank you. - But.. Will you pass my message to your grandpa? Tell him that I've kept his secrets hidden today as well. Aunt, what are you saying? Dear. What happened? I'm joking! Hello, Chanku! How are you? Earlier I used to run away and

he would try to catch me. And today see.. Hi, how are you? Shall I tell you something? Ananya has come to our show around five times. I didn't let her get suspicious. What do you mean? That I was Aakhri Pasta's first girlfriend. Chanku, do you remember our trip to Manali? Your lips turned blue due to cold. I sheared around five sheep. But I didn't let him feel cold. She is joking. Joking.. - She is lying. - Joking. If this was true, then why did you not marry him? That was the problem. He didn't

understand my feelings. He found some other Bhavna. I just got a call from Kareena. Now Ms. Bhavna messaged me. She is coming here with a group of ladies to thrash someone. That's how it is written here. I don't know. Wait a minute. I don't feel scared. Who am I? Kammo! I am from Delhi. Do Delhites feel scared of anyone! No! - No.. Let Bhavna come here. I will look into her eyes and say 'I am joking!' I'm leaving, dear. No matter whose wife she is.. I don't like to get slapped. All right then!

'Jawaani Jaaneman' is a hit. Bye.. Let's have a big round of applause for the entire star cast of 'Jawaani Jaaneman'! Thank you so much for coming. Thank you.. - We had lots of fun with you all. Thank you. We have lots of fun. All the best for all your upcoming projects. Thank you so much for coming once again. - Thank you. Thank you! - Thank you.. So nice! And all of you, keep laughing, keep smiling. Keep your surroundings clean and keep watching 'The Kapil Sharma Show'. Goodnight. Take care. T

hank you.