The Last Exploit of Harry the Actor | A Max Carrados story by Ernest Bramah | Bitesized Audiobook

[Music] hello and welcome to bite-sized audio on YouTube I'm Simon Stanhope actor audiobook narrator and curator of this channel on the channel you can hear my narrations more than a hundred to date and more to come of classic short stories mostly from the Victorian and Edwardian eras including vintage ghost stories detective stories and other classic Tales of mystery and suspense to accompany the narrations I've put a short profile of the authors in the video description as well as some general

background notes on the stories for those who'd like to know more if you enjoy this content please hit subscribe like share leave a comment if you'd like to and thank you for listening [Music] the last exploit of Harry the actor by Ernest brummer the one insignificant fact upon which turned the following incident in the joint experiences of Mr Carlisle and Max caridos was merely this that having called upon his friend just at the moment when the private detective was on the point of leaving his

office to go to the safe deposit in Lucas Street Piccadilly the blind amateur accompanied him and for 10 minutes amused himself by sitting quite quietly Among The Palms in the center of the circular Hall while Mr Carlisle was occupied with his deed box in one of the little compartments provided for the purpose the Lucas Street depository was then it has since been converted into a picture Palace generally accepted as being one of the strongest places in London the front of the building was cons

tructed to represent a gigantic safe door and under the colloquial designation of the safe the place it passed into a synonym for all that was Secure and impregnable half of the marketable Securities in the west of London were popularly reported to have seen the inside of its cuffers at one time or another with the same generous proportion of Family Jewels however exaggerated an estimate this might be the substratum of Truth was solid and oriferous enough to Dazzle the imagination when ordinary

safes were being carried bodily away with impunity nor ingeniously fused open by the scientifically equipped cracksman nervous bondholders tanned with relief to the attractions of an establishment whose modest claim was summed up in its telegraphic address impregnable to it went also the jewel case between the ladies social engagements and when in due course the family journeyed north or south east or west whenever in short the London house was closed its capacious storerooms received the plate

chest as an established custom not a few Traders also Jewelers financiers dealers in pictures antiques man costly visuteri for instance constantly used its facilities for any stock that they did not require immediately to hand there was only one entrance to the place an exaggerated Keyhole to carry out the similitude of the safe Dawn alluded to the grand floor was occupied by the ordinary offices of the company all the strong rooms and safes lay in the steel cased basement this was reached both

by a lift and by a flight of steps in either case the visitor found before him a grill of massive proportions behind its bars stood a formidable commissioner who never left his post his sole Duty being to open and close the grill to arriving in departing clients Beyond this a short passage led into the round Central Hall where karados was waiting from this part other passages radiated off to the vaults and strong rooms each one barred from the hall by a grill scarcely less ponderous than the fir

st one the doors of the various private rooms put at the disposal of the company's clients and that of the manager's office filled the wall space between the radiating passages everything was very quiet everything looked very bright and everything seemed hopelessly impregnable but I wonder ran karados's dubious reflection as he reached this point sorry to have kept you so long my dear Max broke in Mr Carlisle's crisp voice he had emerged from his compartment and was crossing the hall deed box in

hand another minute and I shall be with you smiled and nodded and resumed his former expression which was merely that of an uninterested gentleman waiting patiently for another it is something of an attainment to watch closely without betraying Andrew curiosity but others of the senses hearing and smelling for instance can be keenly engaged while the Observer possibly has the appearance of falling asleep now announced Mr Carlisle returning briskly to his friend's chair and drawing on his gray s

uede gloves you are in no particular hurry but no admitted the professional man with the slowness of mild surprise not at all what do you propose it is very pleasant here replied caridas tranquily very cool and restful with this armored steel between us and the dust and scary of the hot July afternoon above I propose remaining here for a few minutes longer well certainly agreed Mr Carlisle taking the nearest chair and eyeing carried us as though he had a shrewd suspicion of something more than m

et the ear I believe some very interesting people rent safes here we may encounter a bishop or a winning jockey or even a musical comedy actress unfortunately it seems to be rather a slack time two men came down while you were in your cubicle remarked characters casually the first took the lift I imagine that he was a middle-aged rather portly man he carried a stick water silk hat and used spectacles for close sight the other came by the stairway I infer that he arrived at the top immediately af

ter the lift had gone he ran down the steps so that the two were admitted at the same time but the second man though the more active of the pair hung back for a moment in the passage and the portly one was the first to go to his safe Mr Carlisle's knowing look expressed go on my friend you are coming to something but he merely contributed and encouraging years when you emerged just now our second man quietly opened the door of his pen a fraction doubtless he looked out then he closed it as quiet

ly again you were not his man Lewis I am grateful said Mr Carlisle expressively what next Max that is all they are still closeted both were silent for a moment Mr Carlisle's feeling was one of unconfessed perplexity so far the incident was utterly trivial in his eyes but he knew that the Trifles which appeared significant to Max had a way of standing out like signposts when the time came to look back over an episode karados's cyclist faculties seemed indeed to keep him just a move ahead as the g

ame progressed is there really anything in it Max he asked at length who can say replied karados at least we may wait to see them go those tin deed boxes now there is one to each safe I think yes so I imagine the practice is to carry the box to your private Lair and there unlock it and do your business then you lock it up again and take it back to your safe steady our first man whispered garados hurriedly yeah look at this with me he opened a paper a prospectus which he pulled from his pocket an

d they affected to study its contents together you were about right my friend muttered Mr Carlisle pointing to a paragraph of assumed interest Pat stick and spectacles he is a clean shaven pink faced old boy I believe yes I know the man by sight he is a bookmaker in a large way I'm told here comes the other whispered Gyarados the bookmaker passed across the hall joined on his way by the manager whose Duty it was to counterlock the safe and disappeared along one of the passages the second man sau

nted up and down waiting his turn Mr Carlisle reported his movements in an undertone and described him he was a younger man than the other of medium height and possibly well dressed in a quiet Lounge suit green Alpine hat and brown shoes by the time the detective had reached his wavy chestnut hair large and rather ragged mustache and Sandy freckled complexion the first man had completed his business and was leaving the place it isn't an exchange lay at all events said Mr Carlisle his inner case

is only half the size of the other and couldn't possibly be substituted come up now said karados Rising there is nothing more to be learned down here they requisitioned the lift and on the steps outside the gigantic Keyhole stood for a few minutes discussing an investment as a couple of Trustees on a lawyer and a client who were parting there might do 50 yards away a very large silk hat with a very curly brim marked the progress of the bookmaker towards Piccadilly the lift in the hall behind the

m swelled up again and the gate clashed the second man walked leisurely out and saunted away without a backward glance he has gone in the opposite direction exclaimed Mr Carlisle rather blankly it isn't the lame goat and all the follow me on nor even the homely but efficacious sandbag what color were his eyes asked caridos upon my word I never noticed admitted the other Parkinson would have noticed was the severe comment I am not Parkinson retorted Mr Carlisle with asperity and strictly as one d

ear friend to another Max permit me to add that while cherishing an unbounded admiration for your remarkable gifts I have the strongest suspicion that the whole incident is a ridiculous mayor's Nest bred in the Fantastic imagination of an enthusiastic criminologist Mr karados received this Outburst with the utmost benignity come and have a coffee Louise he suggested mapmeds is only a street away metmed proved to be a Cosmopolitan gentleman from Maka whose shop resembled a house from the outside

and an oriental Divan when one was Within a turban Arab placed cigarettes and cups of coffee spiced with saffron before the customers gave Salam and withdrew you know my dear chap continued Mr Carlisle sipping his black coffee and wondering privately whether it was really very good or very bad speaking quite seriously the one fishy detail are ginger friends watching for the other to leave may be open to a dozen very innocent explanations so innocent that tomorrow I intend taking a safe myself bu

t you think that everything is all right on the contrary I am convinced that something is very wrong then why I shall keep nothing there but it will give me the entree I should advise you Lewis in the first place to empty your safe with all possible speed and in the second to leave your business card on the manager Mr Carlisle pushed his cap away convinced now that the coffee was really very bad but my dear Max the place the safe is impregnable when I was in the states three years ago the headqu

arter at one hotel took pains to impress on me that the building was absolutely Fireproof I had once had my things taken off to another hotel two weeks later the first place was burnt out it was fireproof I believe but of course the furniture and the fittings were not and the walls gave way very ingenious admitted Mr Carlisle but why did you really go you know you can't humbug me with your superhuman Sixth Sense my friend karados smiled pleasantly thereby encouraging the watchful attendant to dr

aw near and replenish their tiny cups perhaps replied the blind man because so many careless people were satisfied that it was Fireproof aha there you are the greater the confidence the greater the risk but only if your self-confidence results in carelessness now do you know how this place is secured Max I am told that they locked the door at night replied caridos with Bland malice and hide the key under the mat to be ready for the first arrival in the morning crowed Mr Carlisle in the same play

ful spit it dear old chap well let me tell you that force is out of the question quite so admitted his friend or that simplifies the argument let us consider fraud there again the precautions are so rigid that many people pronounce the forms a nuisance I confess that I do not I regard them as a means of protecting my own property and I cheerfully sign my name and give my password which the manager Compares with his record book before he releases the first lock of my safe the signature is banned

before my eyes in a sort of Crucible there the password is of my own choosing and is written only in a book that no one but the manager ever sees and my key is the soul one in existence no duplicate or master key neither if a key is lost it takes a skillful mechanic half a day to cut his way in then you must remember that clients of a safe deposit are not multitudinous all are known more or less by sight to the officials there and a stranger would receive close attention now Max by what combinat

ion of circumstances is a rogue to know my password to be able to forge my signature to possess himself of my key and to resemble me personally and finally how is he possibly to determine beforehand whether there is anything in my safe to repay so elaborate a plant Mr Carlisle concluded in Triumph and were so carried away by the strength of his position that he'd drank off the contents of his second cup before he realized what he was doing at the hotel I just spoke of replied caridos there was a

n attendant whose one duty in case of alarm was to secure three iron doors on the night of the fire he had a bad attack of toothache and slipped away for just a quarter of an hour to have the thing out there was a most up-to-date system of automatic fire alarm it had been tested only the day before and the electrician finding some part not absolutely to his satisfaction had taken it away and not had time to replace it the night Watchman it turned out had received leave to present himself a coupl

e of hours later on that particular night and the hotel fireman whose duties he took over had missed being notified lastly there was a big Riverside Blaze at the same time and all the engines were down at the other end of the city Mr Carlisle committed himself to a dubious mono syllable caridos leaned forward a little all these circumstances formed a coincidence of pure chants is it not conceivable Lewis that an even more remarkable series might be brought about by Design our Tony friend possibl

y only he was not really Tawny Mr Carlisle's easy attitude suddenly stiffened into rigid attention he wore a false mustache he wore a false mustache repeated the amazed gentleman and you cannot see no really Max this is beyond the limit if only you would not trust your dear blundering old eyes so implicitly you would get near that limit yourself retorted caridos the man carried a five-yard aura of spirit gum emphasized by a warm perspiring skin that inevitably suggested one thing they looked for

further evidence of making up and found it these preparations all smell the hair you described was characteristically that of a wig worn long enough to hide the joining and made wavy to minimize the length all these things are Trifles as yet we have not gone beyond the initial stage of Suspicion I will tell you another trifle when this man retired to a compartment with his deed box he never even opened it possibly it contains a brick and a newspaper he is only watching watching the bookmaker tr

ue but it may go far wider than that everything points to a plot of careful elaboration still if you are satisfied I am quite satisfied replied Mr Carlisle gallantly I regard the safe almost as a National Institution and as such I have an implicit faith in its precautions against every kind of force or fraud so far Mr Carlisle's attitude had been suggestive of a rock but at this point he took out his watch harmed a little to pass the time consulted his watch again and continued I am afraid there

were one or two papers which I overlooked it would perhaps save me coming back again tomorrow if I went back now quite so acquiesced caridos with perfect gravity I will wait for you for 20 minutes he sat there drinking an occasional tiny cup of boiled coffee and to all appearance placidly enjoying the quaint atmosphere which Mr mehmed had contrived to transplant from the shore of the Persian Gulf at the end of that period Carlisle returned politely effusive about the time he had kept his friend

waiting but otherwise Bland and unassailable anyone with eyes might have noticed that he carried a parcel of about the same size and dimensions as the deed box that fitted his safe the next day karados presented himself at the safe deposit as an intending renter the manager showed him over the vaults and strong rooms explaining the various precautions taken to render the guile or force of man impotent the strength of the chilled steel walls the casing of electricity resisting concrete the stupe

ndous isolation of the hole in a fabric on metal pillars so that the Watchmen while inside the building could walk above below and all round the outer walls of what was really although it bore no actual relationship to the advertising device at the front a monstrous safe and finally the arrangement which would enable the basement to be flooded with steam within three minutes of an alarm these details were public property the safe was a Showplace and its directors held that no harm could come of

displaying a strong hand accompanied by the observant eyes of Parkinson caridos gave an adventurous but not a hopeful attention to these particulars submitting the problem of the Tory man to his own Ingenuity he was constantly putting before himself the question how shall I set about rubbing this place and he had already dismissed Force as impracticable nor when it came to the consideration of fraud did the simple but effective safeguards which Mr Carlisle had specified seemed to offer any looph

ole as I am blind I may as well sign in the book he suggested when the manager passed to him a gun slip for the purpose the precaution against one acquiring particulars of another client might well be deemed Superfluous in his case but the manager did not fall into the Trap it is our invariable rule in all cases sir he replied courteously what word will you take Parkinson it may be said had been left in the hall suppose I happen to forget it how do we proceed in that case I am afraid that I migh

t have to trouble you to establish your identity the manager explained it rarely happens then we will say conspiracy the word was written down and the book closed here is your key sir if you will allow me your key ring a week went by and karados was no nearer the absolute solution of the problem he had set himself he had indeed evolved several ways by which the contents of the safes might be reached some simple and desperate hanging on the razor edge of chance to fall this way or that others mor

e elaborate safer on the whole but more liable to break down at some point of their ingenious intricacy and setting aside complicity on the part of the manager a condition that karados had satisfied himself did not exist they all depended on a relaxation of the forms by which security was assured karados continued to have several occasions to visit the safe during the week and he watched with acquired persistence that was deadly in its scope but from beginning to end there was no indication of s

lackness in the business-like methods of the place nor during any of his visits did the Tony man appear in that or any other disguise another week passed Mr Carlisle was becoming inexpressibly waggish and karados himself although he did not Abate a jot of his conviction was compelled to bend to the realities of the situation the manager with the obstinacy of a conscientious man who had become obsessed with the pervading note of security excused himself from discussing abstract methods of fraud k

arados was not in a position to formulate a detailed charge he withdrew from active investigation content to await his time it came to be precise on a certain Friday morning 17 days after his first visit to the safe returning late on the Thursday night he was informed that a man giving the name of dracot had called to see him apparently the matter had been of some importance to the visitor for he had returned three hours later on the chance of finding Mr caridos in disappointed in this he had le

ft a note karados cut open the envelope and ran a finger along the following words dear sir I have today consulted Mr Lewis Carlisle who thinks that you would like to see me I will call again in the morning say at nine o'clock if this is too soon or otherwise inconvenient I entreat you to leave a message fixing as early an hour as possible Yours Faithfully Herbert drycott P.S I should add that I'm the renter of a safe at the Lucas Street depository HD a description of Mr Draycott made it clear t

hat he was not the West End bookmaker the caller the servant explained was a thin wiry Keen faced man karados felt agreeably interested in this development which seemed to justify his suspicion of a plot at 5 minutes to 9 the next morning Mr Draycott again presented himself very good of you to see me so soon sir he apologized on karados at once receiving him I don't know much of English wise I'm an Australian and I was afraid it might be too early you could have made it a couple of hours earlier

as far as I am concerned replied karados or you either for that matter I imagine he added for I don't think that you slept much last night I didn't sleep at all last night corrected Mr Draycott but it's strange that you should have seen that I understood from Mr Carlisle that you uh excuse me if I'm mistaken sir but I understood that you were blind karados laughed his admission lightly oh yes he said but never mind that what is the trouble I'm afraid it means more than just trouble for me Mr ca

ridos the man had steady half closed eyes with the suggestion of depth which one notices in the eyes of those whose business it is to look out over great expenses of land or water they were turned towards karados's face with quiet resignation in their frankness now I'm afraid it spells disaster I'm a working engineer from the mount Magdalena District of coolgardi I don't want to take up your time with outside details so I will only say that about two years ago I had an opportunity of acquiring a

share in a very promising climb gold you understand both reef and alluvial as the work went on I put more and more into the undertaking you couldn't call it Adventure by that time the results were good better than we are dared to expect but from one cause and another the expenses were terrible we saw that it was a bigger thing than we had bargained for and we admitted that we must get outside help so far Mr draycott's narrative had proceeded smoothly enough under the influence of The Quiet desp

air that had come over the man but at this point a sudden recollection of his position swept him into a frenzy of bitterness oh what the blazes is the good of going over all this again he broke out what can you or anyone else do anyhow I've been robbed rooked cleared out of everything I possess and tormented by Recollections and by the impotence of his rage the unfortunate engineer beat the oak table with the back of his hand until his knuckles bled karados waited until the fury had passed conti

nue if you please Mr Draycott he said just what you thought it best to tell me is just what I want to know I'm sorry sir apologized the man coloring under his tanned skin I ought to be able to control myself better but this business has shaken me three times last night I looked down the barrel of My Revolver and three times I threw it away well we arranged that I should come to London to interest some financiers in the property we might have done it locally or in Perth to be sure but then don't

you see they would have wanted to get control six weeks ago I landed here I brought with me specimens of the quartz and good samples of extracted gold dust and Nuggets the clearing up of several weeks working about 240 ounces in all that includes the Magdalena loud star a lucky nugget the lump weighing just under seven pounds of pure gold I had seen an advertisement of this Lucas Street safe deposit and it seemed just the thing I wanted besides the gold I held all the papers to do with the climb

s the plans reports receipts licenses and so on then when I cashed my letter of credit I had about 150 pounds in notes of course I could have left everything at a bank but it was more convenient to have it as it were in my own safe to get at any time and have a private room that I could take any gentleman to I had no suspicion that anything could be wrong negotiations hung on in several quarters it's a bad time to do business here I find then yesterday I wanted something I went to Locust Street

as I had done half a dozen times before I opened my safe and had the inner case carried to a room Mr caridos it was empty quite empty no he laughed bitterly at the bottom was a sheet of wrapper paper I recognized it as a piece I had left there in case I wanted to make up a parcel but for that I should have been convinced that I had somehow opened the wrong safe that was my first idea it cannot be done so I understand sir and then there was the paper with my name written on it in the empty tin I

was Dazed it seemed impossible I think I stood there without moving for minutes it was more like ours then I closed the tin box again took it back locked up the safe and came out without notifying anything wrong yes Mr caridos the steady blue eyes regarded him with pain and thoughtfulness you see I reckoned it out in that time that it must be someone about the place who had done it you were wrong said garados so Mr Carlisle seemed to think I only knew that the key had never been out of my posses

sion and I had told no one of the password well it did come over me rather like cold water down the neck that there was I alone in the strongest dungeon in London and not a living cell knew where I was possibly a sort of up-to-date Sweeney Todds I'd heard of such things in London admitted Draycott anyway I got out it was a mistake now I see it now who is to believe me as it is it sounds a sort of unlikely Tale and how do they come to pick on me to know what I had I don't drink or open my mouth o

r Hell round it beats me they didn't pick on you you picked on them replied carrados never mind how you'll be believed all right but as for getting anything back The Unfinished sentence confirmed Mr Draycott in his gloomiest anticipations or have the numbers of the notes he suggested with an attempted hopefulness thy can be stopped I take it stopped yes admitted karados and what does that amount to the banks and the police stations will be notified and every little public house between here and

Land's End will change one for the scribbling of Jon Jones across the back no Mr Draycott it's awkward I dare say but you must make up your mind to wait until you can get fresh supplies from home where are you staying dracot hesitated I have been at the Abbotsford in Bloomsbury up to now he said with some embarrassment the fact is Mr garados I think I ought to have told you how I was placed before Consulting you because I see no Prospect of being able to pay my why knowing that I had plenty in t

he safe I had run it rather close but I went chiefly yesterday to get some notes I have a week's hotel bill in my pocket and he glanced down at his trousers now I've ordered one or two other things unfortunately that will be a matter of time doubtless suggested the other encouragingly instead of replying dracot suddenly dropped his arms onto the table and buried his face between them a minute passed in silence it's now good Mr caridos he said when he was able to speak I can't mate it say what yo

u like I simply can't tell those chaps that I've lost everything we had and asked them to send me more I couldn't do it if I did I understand sir the mine is a valuable one we have the greatest faith in it but it has gone beyond our depth the three of us have put everything we own into it while I'm here they are doing laborers work for the wage just to keep going waiting oh my God waiting for good news from me karados walked around the table to his desk and wrote then without a word he held out

a paper to his visitor what's this demanded dracot in bewilderment well it's it's a check for a hundred pounds it will carry you on explained karados imperturbably a man like you isn't going to throw up the sponge for this setback cable to your partners that you require copies of all the papers at once they'll manage it never fear the gold must go rightfully by the next mail tell them everything and add that in spite of all you feel that you are near a success than ever Mr draycard folded the ch

eck with thoughtful deliberation and put it carefully away in his pocketbook I don't know whether you've guessed as much sir he said in a queer voice but I think that you've saved a man's life today it's not the money it's the encouragement and faith if you could see you'd know better than I can say how I feel about it laughed quietly it always amused him to have people explain how much more he would learn if he had eyes then we'll go on to Lucas Street and give the manager the shock of his life

was all he said come Mr Draycott I have already rang up the car but as it happened another instrument had been destined to apply that stimulating experience to the manager as they stepped out of the car opposite the safe a taxi cab Drew up and Mr Carlisle's alert and cheery voice hailed them ah moment Max he called Turning to settle with his driver a transaction that he invested with an ad of dignified urbanity which almost made up for any small pecuniary disappointment that may have accompanie

d it this is indeed fortunate let us compare notes for a moment I have just received an almost imploring message from the manager to come at once I assumed that it was the affair of our Colonial friend here but he went on to mention Professor home fast bulge can it really be possible that he also has made a similar discovery what did the manager say asked karados he was practically incoherent but I really think it must be so what have you done nothing replied caridos he turned his back on the sa

fe and appeared to be regarding the other side of the street there is a tobacconist shop directly opposite there is what do they sell on the first floor possibly they sell rubbo thy Hazard the suggestion from The Legend Robin rubbo for everything which embellishes each window the windows are frosted they are two halfway up mysterious men carrados walked back to his motor car while we are away Parkinson go across and buy a tin bottle box or packet of rubbo what is Rubble max chirped Mr Carlisle w

ith insatiable curiosity so far we do not know when Parkinson gets some Lewis you shall be the one to try it they descended into the basement and were passed in by the grill keeper whose manner betrayed a discreet consciousness of something in the air it was unnecessary to speculate why in the distance muffled by the armored passages an authoritative voice boomed like a sonorous Bell heard underwater what however are the facts it was demanding with the causticity of baffled helplessness I am ass

ured that there is no other key in existence yet my safe has been unlocked I am given to understand that without the password it would be impossible for an unauthorized person to tamper with my property my password deliberately chosen is anthropophaginian Sir is it one that is familiarly on the lips of the criminal classes but my safe is empty what is the explanation who are the guilty persons what is being done where are the police if you consider that the proper course to adopt is to stand on

the doorstep and beckon in the first Constable who happens to pass permit me to say Sir that I differ from you retorted the distracted manager you may rely on everything possible being done to clear up the mystery as I told you I have already telephone for a capable private detective and for one of my directors but that is not enough insisted the professor angrily will one mere private detective restore my six thousand pounds Japanese four and a half percent better bonds is the return of my Irre

placeable notes on polyphilitic Bridal Customs among the mid-placed or scene cavemen to depend on a solitary director I demand that the police shall be called in as many as are available let Scotland Yard be set in motion the searching inquiry must be made I have only been a user of your precious establishment for six months and this is the result there you hold the key of the mystery Professor bulge into posed caridos quietly who is this sir demanded the exasperated professor at Large permit me

explained Mr Carlisle with Bland Assurance I am Luis Carlisle of Benton Street this gentleman is Mr Max caridos the eminent amateur specialist in crime I shall be thankful for any assistance towards elucidating this appalling business condescended the professor sonorously let me put you in possession of the facts perhaps if we went into your room suggested carried us to the manager we should be less liable to interruption oh quite so quite so boomed the professor accepting the proposal on every

one else's behalf the facts sir are these I am the unfortunate possessor of a safe here in which a few months ago I deposited among less important matter 60 better bonds of the Japanese Imperial loan the bulk of my small fortune and the manuscript of an important projected work on polyphilitic Bridal Customs among the mid pleistocene cavemen today I came to detach the coupons which for due on the 15th to pay them into my bank a week in advance in accordance with my custom what do I find I find t

he safe locked and apparently intact as when I last saw it a month ago but it is far from being intact sir it has been opened ransect cleared out not a single Bond not a scrap of paper remains it was obvious that the manager's temperature had been rising during the latter part of this speech and now he boiled over pardon my flatly contradicting your professor bulge you have again referred to your visit here a month ago as your last you will bear witness of that gentleman when I inform you that t

he professor had access to his safe as recently as on Monday last you will recognize the importance that the statement may assume the professor glared across the room like an infuriated animal a comparison heightened by his notoriously hercine appearance how dare you contradict me sir he cried slapping the table sharply with his open hand I was not here on Monday the manager Shrugged his shoulders coldly you forget that the attendants also saw you he remarked cannot We Trust our own eyes a commo

n assumption yet not always a strictly reliable one insinuated caridos Softly I cannot be mistaken then can you tell me without looking what color Professor bulge's eyes are there was a curious and expectant silence for a minute the professor turned his back on the manager and the manager passed from thoughtfulness to embarrassment I really do not know Mr caridos he declared loftily at last I do not refer to Mere Trifles like that then you can be mistaken replied caridos mildly yet with decision

but the ample here the venerable flowing beard The prominent nose and heavy eyebrows these are just the Striking points that are most easily counterfeited they take the eye if you would ensure yourself against deception learn rather to observe the eye itself and particularly the spots on it the shape of the fingernails the set of the ears these things cannot be simulated seriously suggests that the man was not Professor balge that he was an imposter the conclusion is inevitable where were you o

n Monday professor I was on a short lecturing tour in the Midlands on Saturday I was in Nottingham on Monday in Birmingham I did not return to London until yesterday karados turned the manager again and indicated dracot who so far had remained in the background and this gentleman did he by any chance come here on Monday he did not Mr caridos but I gave him access to his safe on Tuesday afternoon and again yesterday Draycott shook his head sadly yesterday I found it empty he said and all Tuesday

afternoon I was at Brighton trying to see a gentleman on business the manager sat down very suddenly good God another he exclaimed faintly I am afraid the list is only beginning said karados we must go through your renters book the manager roused himself to protest that cannot be done no one but myself or my Deputy ever sees the book it would be unprecedented the circumstances are unprecedented replied caridos if any difficulties are placed in the way of these gentlemen's investigations I shall

make it my duty to bring the facts before the Home Secretary announced the professor speaking up to the ceiling with the voice of a Brazen trumpet karados raised a deprecating hand may I make a suggestion he remarked no I am blind if therefore very well acquiesced the manager but I must request the others to withdraw for five minutes karados followed the list of safe renters as the manager read them to him sometimes he stopped the catalog to reflect a moment now and then he brushed a fingertip o

ver a written signature and compared it with another occasionally a password introduced him but when the list came to an end he continued to look into space without any sign of enlightenment so much is perfectly clear and yet so much is incredible he mused you insist that you alone have been in charge for the last six months I have not been away a day this year meals I have my lunch sent in and this room could not be entered without your knowledge while you were about the place it is impossible

the door is fitted with a powerful spring and a feather touch self-acting lock it cannot be left unlocked unless you deliberately prop it open and with your knowledge no one has had an opportunity of having access to this book no was the reply karados stood up and began to put on his gloves then I must decline to pursue my investigation any further he said I silly why stamina the manager because I have positive reason for believing that you are deceiving me pray sit down Mr caridos it is quite t

rue that when you put the last question to me a circumstance rushed into my mind which so far as the strict letter was concerned might seem to demand yes instead of no but not in the spirit of your inquiry it would be absurd to attach any importance to the incident I refer to that would be for me to judge you shall do so Mr caridos I live at Windermere mansions with my sister a few months ago she got to know a married couple who had recently come to the opposite flat the husband was a middle-age

d scholarly man who spent most of his time in the British museum his wife's tastes were different she was much younger brighter gayer a mere girl in fact one of the most charming and unaffected I have ever met my sister Amelia does not readily stop exclaimed karados a studious middle-aged man and a Charming young wife be as brief as possible if there is any chance it may turn on a matter of minutes at the ports she came here of course accompanied by her husband replied the manager stiffly Mrs Sc

ott had traveled and she had a hobby of taking photographs wherever she went my opposition accidentally came out one evening she was carried away by the novel idea of adding views of a safe deposit to her collection as enthusiastic as a child there was no reason why she should not the place has often been taken for advertising purposes she came and brought her camera under your very nose I do not know what you mean by under my very nose she came with her husband one evening just about her closin

g time she brought her camera of course quite a small affair and contrived to be in here alone I take exception to the word contraved it it happened I sent out for some tea and in the course how long was she alone in here two or three minutes at the most when I returned she was seated at my desk that was what I referred to the little rogue had put on my glasses and had got held of a big book we were great Chums and she delighted to mock me I confessed that I was startled Emily instinctively to s

ee that she had taken up this book but the next moment I saw that she had it upside down clever she couldn't get it away in time and the camera with half a dozen of its specially sensitized films already snapped over the last few pages by her side that child yes she is 27 and has kicked hats off tall men's heads in every capital from Petersburg to Buenos Aires get through to Scotland Yard and ask if inspector Beetle can come up the manager breathed heavily through his nose to call in the police

and publish everything would ruin this establishment confidence would be gone bear cannot do it without further Authority then the professor certainly will before you came I rang up the only director who is at present in town and gave him the facts as they then stood possibly he has arrived by this if you will accompany me to the boardroom we will see they went up to the floor above Mr Carlisle joining them on the way excuse me a moment said the manager Parkinson who had been having an improving

conversation with the whole Porter on the subject of land values approached I am sorry sir he reported but I was unable to procure any Rubble the place appears to be shut up that is a pity Mr Carlisle had set his heart on it will you come this way please said the manager reappearing in the boardroom they found a white-haired Old Gentleman who had obeyed the manager's behest from a sense of Duty and then remained in a distant corner of the empty room in hope that he might be overlooked he was am

iably helpless and appeared to be deeply aware of it this is a very sad business gentleman he said in a whispering confiding voice I am informed that you recommend calling in the Scotland Yard authorities that would be a disastrous course for an institution that depends on the implicit confidence of the public it is the only course replied caridos the name of Mr karados is well known to us in connection with a delicate case could you not carry this one through it is impossible a wide inquiry mus

t be made every port will have to be watched the police alone can do that he threw a little significance into the next sentence I alone can put the police in the right way of doing it and you will do that Mr caridos karados smiled engagingly he knew exactly what constituted the great attraction of his services my position is this he explained so far my work has been entirely amateur in that capacity I have averted one or two crimes remedied an occasional Injustice and now and then bit of service

to my professional friend Luis Carlisle but there is no reason at all why I should serve a commercial firm in an ordinary Affair of business for nothing for any information I should require a fee a quite nominal fee of say 100 pounds the director looked as though his faith in human nature had received a rude blow a hundred pounds would be a very large initial fee for a small firm like this Mr caridos he remarked in a pained voice and that of course would be independent of Mr Carlisle's Professi

onal Charges added carrados is that some contingent on any specific performance inquired the manager I do not mind making it conditional on my precoding for you for the police to act on a photograph and a description of the thief the two officials conferred apart for the moment then the manager returned we will agree Mr caridos on the understanding that these things are to be in our hands within two days failing that no no cried Mr Carlisle indignantly but karados could humidly put him aside I w

ill accept the condition in the same sporting spirit that inspires it within 48 hours or no pay the check of course to be given immediately the goods are delivered you may rely on that karados took out his pocketbook produced an envelope bearing an American stamp and from it extracted an unmounted print here is the photograph he announced the man is called Ulysses K groom but he is better known as Harry the actor you will find the description written on the back five minutes later when they were

alone Mr Carlisle expressed his opinion of the transaction you are an unmitigated humbug Max he said though an amiable one I admit but purely for your own private Amusement you spring these things on people on the contrary replied carrados people spring these things on me now this Photograph why have I heard nothing of it before karados took out his watch and touched the fingers it is now three minutes to 11. I received the photograph at 20 Past 8. even then an hour ago you assured me that you

had done nothing nor had I so far as result wind until the Keystone of the edifice was rung from the manager in his room I was as far away from demonstrable certainty as ever so am I as yet hinted Mr Carlisle I am coming to that Louis I turn over the whole thing to you the man has got two clear days start and the chances are nine to one against catching him we know everything and the case has no further interest for me but it is your business here is your material on that one occasion when the t

ourney man crossed our path I took from the first a rather more serious view of his scope and intention than you did that same day I sent a cipher cable to Pearson of the New York service I asked for news of Any Man of such and such a description merely negative who was known to have left the states an educated man expert in the use of disguises audacious in his operations and a specialist in dry work among Banks and strong rooms why the states Max that was a sighting shot on my part I argued th

at he must be an English-speaking man the smart and inventive turn of the modern yank has made him a specialist in ingenious devices straight or crooked unpickable locks and Invincible lock Pickers burglar proof safes and safe specializing burglars come equally from the states so I tried a very simple test as we talked that day and the man walked past us I dropped the words New York or rather New York in his hearing I know you did he neither turned nor stopped he was that much on his guard but i

nto his step there came though your poor old eyes could not see it Lewis the psychological pause and absolute arrest of perhaps a fifth of a second just as it would have done with you if the word London had fallen on your ear in a distant land however the whys and the wherefores don't matter here is the essential story 18 months ago Harry the actor successfully looted the office safe of Mackenzie J F Higgs and Co of Cleveland Ohio he had just married a smart but very facile third-rate Board of e

lectris English by origin and wanted money for the honeymoon he got about 500 pounds and with that they came to Europe man stayed in London for some months that period is marked by the concrete square post office burglary you may remember while studying such of the British institutions as most appealed to him the actor's attention became fixed on this safe deposit possibly the implied challenge contained in its telegraphic address grew on him until it became a point of professional honor with hi

m to despoil it at all events he was presumably attracted by an undertaking that promised not only Glory but very solid profit the first part of the plot was to the most skillful criminal impersonator in the states mere Skittles spreading over these months he appeared at the safe in 12 different characters and rented 12 safes of different sizes at the same time he made a thorough study of the methods of the place as soon as possible he got the keys back again into legitimate use having made dupl

icates for his own private hens of course 5. he seems to have returned during his first stay one was received later with profuse Apologies by registered post one was returned through a leading Berlin Bank six months ago he made a flying visit here purely to work off two more one he kept from first to last and the remaining couple he got in at the beginning of his second long residence here three or four months ago this brings us to the serious part of the cool Enterprise he had funds from the At

lantic and South Central mail car cool when he arrived here last April he appears to have set up three establishments a home in the guise of an elderly scholar with a young wife which of course was next door to our friend the manager an observation point over which he plastered the inscription for everything has a reason for being and somewhere else a dressing room with essential conditions of two doors into different streets about six weeks ago he entered the last stage Mrs Harry with quite rid

iculous ease got photographs of the necessary page or two of the record book I don't doubt that for weeks before then everyone who entered the place had been observed but the photographs linked them up with the actual men into whose hands the actor's old Keys had passed gave their names and addresses the numbers of their safes their passwords and signatures the rest was easy yes by Jupiter mere play for a man like that agreed Mr Carlisle with professional admiration he could contrive a dozen dif

ferent occasions for studying the voice and Manner and appearance of his victims how much has he cleared we can only speculate as yet I have put my hand on seven doubtful callers on Monday and Tuesday last two others he had ignored for some reason the remaining two safes had not been allotted there is one point that raises an interesting speculation what is that Max the actor has one associate a man known as Billy the fondant but beyond that with the exception of his wife of course he does not u

sually trust anyone it is plain however that at least seven men must lately have been kept under close observation it has occurred to me yes Max I have wondered whether Harry has Enlisted the innocent Services of one or other of our clever private inquiry offices scarcely smile The Professional it would hardly pass muster oh I don't know Mrs Harry in the character of a jealous wife or a suspicious sweetheart might reasonably Mr Carlisle smile suddenly faded by Jupiter he exclaimed I remember ear

s Lewis prompted characters with laughter in his voice I I remember that I must telephone to a client before beedle comes concluded Mr Carlisle rising in some haste at the door he almost ran into the subdued director who was wringing his hands in helpless protest at a new stroke of calamity Mr karados wailed the poor old gentleman in a tremulous bleat Mr karados there is another now sir Benjamin Gump he insists on seeing me you will not you will not desert us I should have to stay awake replied

caridos briskly and I'm just off now there will be a procession Mr Carlisle will support you I am sure he nodded good morning straight into the eyes of each and found his way out with the astonishing certainty of movement that made so many forget his infirmity possibly he was not desirous of encountering dracot's embarrassed gratitude again but in less than a minute they heard the swirl of his departing car foreign never mind my dear sir Mr Carlisle assured his client with impenetrable complacen

cy never mind I will remain instead perhaps I had better make myself known to Sir Benjamin at once the director turned on him the pleading trustful look of a cornered dormouse he is in the basement he whispered I shall be in the boardroom if necessary Mr Carlisle had no difficulty in discovering the center of interest in the basement sir Benjamin was expensive and reserved bewildered and decisive long-winded and short-tempered each in turn and more or less all at once he had already demanded the

attention of the manager Professor bulge Draycott and two underlings to his case and they were now involved in a Babel live in util reiteration the inquiry agent was at once drawn into a circle of interrogation that he did his best to satisfy impressively while himself learning the new facts the latest development was sufficiently astonishing less than an hour before sir Benjamin had received a parcel by District messenger it contained a jewel case which ought at that moment to have been secure

ly reposing in one of the deposit safes hastily snatching it open the recipients incredible forebodings were realized it was empty empty of jewels that is to say for as if to add a sting to the blow a neatly inscribed card had been placed inside and on it the agitated baronet read the appropriate but at the moment rather gratuitous Maxim play not up for yourselves Treasures upon Earth the card was passed round and All Eyes demanded the expert's pronouncement where moth and rust doth corrupt and

where thieves break through and steal hmm Red Mist Carlisle with weight this is a most important clue sir Benjamin hey what what's that exclaimed a voice from the other side of the hall why Demi if I don't believe you've got another look at that gentleman look at that what's on I say here now come give me my safe I want to know where I am it was the bookmaker who Strode tempestuously in among them flourishing before their faces a replica of the card that was in Mr Carlisle's hand well upon my so

ul this is most extraordinary they exclaimed that gentleman comparing the two you have just received this Mr Mr Berg isn't it that's right Berg Iceberg on the course thank the Lord Harry I can take my losses coolly enough but this this is a facer put into my hand half an hour ago inside an envelope that ought to be here and as safe as in the Bank of England what's the game I say here Johnny Harry and let me into my safe discipline and Method had for the moment gone by the board there was no sugg

estion of the boasted safeguards of the establishment the manager added his voice to that of the client and when the attendant did not at once appear he called again John come and give Mr Berg access to his safe at once all right sir pleaded the Harris key attendant hurrying up with the burden of his own distraction there's a silly fat head got in what thinks this is a left luggage office so far as I can make out a foreigner never mind that now replied the manager severely Mr Berg's safe number

zero one seven two four the attendant and Mr Berg went off together down one of the brilliant colonnaded Vistas one or two of the others who had caught the words glanced across and became aware of a strange figure that was drifting indecisively towards them he was obviously an elderly German tourist of pronounced type long haired spectacled outrageously garbed and involved in the mental abstraction of his philosophical race one hand was occupied with the manipulation of a pipe as markedly Teuton

ic as its owner the other grasped a carpet bag that would have ensured an opening laugh to any low comedian quite impervious to the preoccupation of the group the German made his way up to them and picked out the manager this was a safety deposit Network great so acquiesce to the manager loftily but just now your fellow was dense of comprehension the eyes behind the clumsy glasses wrinkled to a ponderous humor he forgot his own business now this good bag brought into Fuller prominence the carpet

bag revealed further details of its overburdened proportions at one end a flannel shirt cuff protruded in limp dejection at the other an ancient color with the grotesque attachment known as a Dickie asserted its presence no wonder the manager Fran his annoyance the safe was in low enough repute among its patrons at that moment without any burlesque interlude to its tragic hour yes yes he whispered attempting to lead the would-be depositor away but you are under a mistake this is not it was a sa

fety deposit gold main bag 9 would deposit him in safety till the time of mind praying yeah nine nine almost hissed the agonized official go away sir go away it isn't a cloak room John let this gentleman out the attendant and Mr Berg were returning from their Quest the inner box had been opened and there was no need to ask the result the bookmaker was shaking his head like a baffled bull gone no effects he shouted across the hall lifted from the safe by crumb to those who knew nothing of the met

hod and operation of the fraud it seemed as if the Financial Security of the capital was tottering animazed silence fell and in it they heard the great Grill door of the basement clang on the inopportune foreigners departure but as if it was impossible to stand still on that morning of dire happenings he was immediately succeeded by a Dapper Keen faced man in severe clerical attire who had been let in as the Intruder passed out Canon Petersham exclaimed the professor going forward to greet him M

y Dear Professor bulge reciprocated the cannon you here a most disquieting thing has happened to me I must have my safe at once he divided his attention between the manager and the professor as he monopolized them both a most discrediting and an outrageous circumstance my safe please yes yes Reverend Henry Nokes Petersham I have just received by hand a box a small box of no value but one that I thought yes I am convinced that it was the one a box that was used to contain certain valuables of fam

ily interest which should at this moment be in my safe here number 7436 very likely very likely yes here is my key but not content with the disc and setting effect of that Professor the Box contained and I protest that it's a most unseemly thing to quote any text from the Bible in this way to a clergyman of my position well here it is lay not up for yourselves Treasures upon Earth why I have a dozen sermons of my own in my desk now on that very verse I'm particularly partial to the very needful

lesson that it teaches and to apply it to me it's monstrous number 7436 John ordered the manager with weary resignation the attendant again led the way towards another armor-plated Isle smartly turning a corner he stumbled over something bitter profane exclamation in two and looked back it's that blooming Foreigner's old bag again he explained across the place in a grieved apology they left it here after all take it upstairs and throw it out when you finished said the manager shortly yeah wait a

minute pondered John in absent-minded familiarity wait a minute this is a funny go there's a label on that wasn't here before why not look inside why not look inside repeated someone that's what it says there was another puzzled silence all were arrested by some intangible suggestion of a deeper mystery than they had yet touched one by one they began to cross the hall with the conscious heir of men who were not curious but thought that they might as well see why curse my Crumpet suddenly explod

ed Mr Berg if that ain't the same writing as these texts bye Gad but I believe you are right a scented Mr Carlisle well why not look inside the attendant from his stooping posture took the verdict of the Ring of faces and in a Trice tugged open the two buckles the central fastening was not locked and yielded to a touch the flannel shirt the weird color and a few other garments in the nature of a top dressing were flung out and John's hand plunged deeper Harry the actor had lived up to his dramat

ic instinct nothing was wrapped up nay the rich booty had been deliberately opened out and displayed as it were so that the overturning of the bag when John the key Bearer in an access of riotous extravagance lifted it up and strewed its contents broadcast on the floor was like the Looting of a Smuggler's Den or the realization of a speculator's dream or the bursting of an Aladdin's cave or something incredibly lavish and bizarre banknotes flattered down and lay about in all directions relays of

sovereigns rolled away like so much Dross bonds and scrip for thousands and tens of thousands clogged the downpouring stream of jewelry and unset gems a yellow stone the size of a four pound weight and twice as heavy dropped plump upon the Cannon's toes and sent him hopping and grimacing to the wall a ruby hilted Chris cut across the manager's wrist as he strove to arrest The Splendid route still the miraculous Cornucopia Deluge to the Grand with its pattering ringing bumping crinkling rolling

fluttering produce until like the final Tableau of some spectacular ballet it ended with a golden Reign that masked the details of the Heap beneath a glittering veil of yellow sand my dust gasped dracot my fivers by golly ejaculated the bookmaker initiating a plunge among the spoil my Japanese bonds coupons and all and yes even the manuscript of my work on polyphilitic Bridal Customs among the mid pleistocene cavemen something approaching a cachination of delight closed the professor's contribut

ion to the pandemonium and eyewitnesses afterwards declared that for a moment the dignified scientists stood on one foot in the opening movement of a Can-can my wife's diamonds think Heaven cried sir Benjamin with the air of a Schoolboy who was very well out of a swishing but what does it mean demanded the bewildered Cannon here are my family heirlooms a few decent pearls my grandfather's collection of cameoi and other Trifles but who perhaps this offers some explanation suggested Mr Carlisle un

pinning an envelope that had been secured to the lining of the bag it is addressed to seven Rich sinners shall I read it for you for some reason the response was not unanimous but it was sufficient Mr Carlisle cut open the envelope my dear friends aren't you glad aren't you happy at this moment ah yes but not with the true Joy of regeneration that alone can bring lightness to The Afflicted soul pause while there is yet time cast off the burden of your sinful lusts for what shall it profit a man

if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul Mark chapter 8 verse 36. oh my friends you have had an all-fired narrow squeak up till the Friday in last week I held your wealth in the hollow of my ungodly hand and rejoiced in my nefarious cunning but on that day as I with my guilty female accomplice stood listening with worldly Amusement to the testimony of a converted brother at a meeting of the Salvation Army on Clapham common The Gospel Light suddenly Shone into our rebellious souls a

nd then and there we found salvation Hallelujah what we have done to complete the unrighteous scheme upon which we had labored for months has only been for your own good dear friends that you are though as yet divided from us by your carnal lusts let this be a lesson to you sell all you have and give it to the poor through the organization of the Salvation Army by preference and thereby lay up for yourselves Treasures where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt and where thieves do not break throug

h and steal Matthew chapter 6 verse 20. yours in Good Works private Henry the salvationist P.S in haste I may as well inform you that no crib is really uncrackable though the Cyrus J Coy company's safe deposit on West 24th Street New York comes nearest the kernel and even that I could work to the bare rock if I took hold of the job with both hands that is to say I could have done in my sinful days as for you I should recommend you to change your ta to peanut ukg there sounds a streak of the old

Adam in that post script Mr Carlisle whisper inspector Beetle who had just arrived in time to hear the letter red [Music] thank you you've been listening to a bite-sized audiobook read by me Simon Stanhope if you'd like to help me to keep producing new content you can find links in the video description to my patreon page or to buy me a coffee another way to support me is through my bandcamp page bite-sizedaudio.bandcamp.com where you can hear my narrations of many more classic short stories and

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