Can you hold this for me, Medic?! Doctor! Hello!? Is anyone out there? Can anyone hear me? wow Fear not medicine man, for I am the Cow! And the cow is a benevolent being that dwells in the tunnels . The cow has been accidentally tansported to this realm. And the same has happened to you it seems... The cow is quite happy to see another living being after such a long time Hearing someone else's voice after so long is almost unbelievable really. That's why the cow was so excited and ended up start
ling you. The cow apologizes... Please do accept this item as a sign of the cow's cordiality A key... Is there a door in this place? Indeed there is! But it only appears once every 500 days How do you know a day has passed? There's nothing to do here. So the cow started counting the minutes after seeing the door for the first time. The cow has been trapped in this hellish tunnel for far too long. One cannot die, or feel
the cold, or feel hunger in this tunnel. The tunnel stretches for eternity
or it Loops after a certain threshold... Either way, you and the cow are stuck in here indefinitely. As for the key...It was the only thing already here when the cow arrived But the cow never managed to open the door with it. Because the cow has no hands as you can observe... You said the door appears every 500 days right? Indeed, Medicine Man. When is it gonna appear again? According to the cow's estimates. The door should appear again in a few minutes... But there's still a problem. It alwa
ys appears in a seemingly random point in space, even partially hidden inside walls sometimes And another thing! It only stays in this realm for a period of 15 seconds. So be prepared! Over there! Let's go! Quickly! It's gonna disappear oh I'm finally out of that accursed tunnel! This has to be the happiest day of my entire life! It's good to see you happy but I wouldn't celebrate yet... We are literally in the middle of nowhere now... Wake up, Medicine Man! We need to get to that Island! There'
s a telephone in there! it could be our ticket out of this ocean! Leave it to The Cow! Do not approach the island! You are not allowed in here! I bought this island with my own money and it's mine! We just need to use your telephone. Would you please allow us to use it for a few minutes? N O ! You will not set foot upon this piece
of land... Unless you want to go to war with the United States of America! I am an enemy of all cows and their allies. Now get away from the island unless you want m
e to use this Cow Mangler on you! This is ridiculous! You won't let us use the phone just because one of us is a cow? Y E S ! That is precisely the sole reason why I'm willing to let both of you die in the sea. Now you can both fuck off! Why do you hate cows so much? I don't owe you an explanation! I just knew I hated your kind the moment I laid my eyes on you! We need to use that phone! And you are going to allow us on the island whether you like it or not! You wanna know when I'm gonna allow y
ou in this island? Only on the day pumpkins begin to speak! You're out of luck today then! I cannot believe the one thing I thought impossible Is precisely what happened right after I vocally expressed it in a sarcastic manner But I still refuse to let the cow on my Island... Shut up man! You didn't even buy this island in the first place! You just showed up one day and started living here! Well I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier. I am an ancient shape-shifting god from this planet. I
'm responsible for keeping it from collapsing under the weight of reality My name's Bill! This is actually the only Island on the entire planet. But it used to be full of Natural Resources. Mostly psychedelic fruit and bugs. Then this freaking guy arrived one day... We were friends for a while and even got a local economy going between us, through the fruit trade and whatnot. But he ate all the fruit one day. And now he keeps hallucinating about this place he calls America. And doesn't shut up a
bout it. America is real and I know it! Don't
you dare deny it you goddamn fruit! By the way I'm not allowing you out of he boat unless you pay for the trip Don't worry tho. All I want as payment is some milk from the Cow And hard psychedelic drugs from the Medic. I even have a bottle for the milk and a bunch of ingredients for the drugs. C'mon guys there's nothing to do in this planet anymore. I just want to spend some time living as a pumpkin and getting high That doesn't sound like a bad deal
. What do you say Cow? The cow has a confession to make Medicine Man... The Cow being stuck in the tunnel was no accident... It was in fact a punishment... The Cow was banished from the Cow Kingdom for not being able to give milk. That's what happens to all cows that can't produce milk. Because it brings great shame upon the kingdom. That's so damn sad man. You know what? I'm gonna allow you to leave the boat for free this time. But I'll still need those sweet narcotics! All right then! I'll mak
e you something so strong it could kill a thousand
elephants! As for you! America is actually a real place, and I promise I can take you there if you allow us to use that phone! Amaze! Okay it's ready! I don't know what kind of effects this will have but it's gonna be strong! Don't worry man I'm completely
immortal and indestructible! You can just throw it into my mouth! But before that. You guys are looking for a way back home, right? You should talk to the Moon God, he lives on the Moon! He
can grant you any wish you want! He's probably your best chance of going back home. Now, go ahead and give me that sweet candy! I can't believe that maggot called that piece of wood a boat. That's an insult to all boats Well, now that we're here I don't know what number to call... All I'm gonna say is no matter what happens don't answer the phone if it rings... But why not? I don't know, I've never answered it and nothing bad ever happened. Why risk it now? SOLDIER! Where's my fucking money? Le
t the Cow talk, Medicine Man! Hello? Who is this? Where's the Soldier?
Put him on the phone right now! That's not possible, the soldier has passed away What!?! Please tell me that's just a bad joke, man. He was a close friend... Sorry for your loss, but this is not a joke unfortunately We had a falling out recently, but I never wanted my dear friend to just die like that. I'll miss him so much. It's a real shame... We need to transfer his body to a burial site on the Moon. But unfortunately, ou
r spaceship is broken. Would you please help us with this? He was our friend too and his death is painful enough to deal with already. All right man you're on the one island in the water planet right? Yes! Thank you! Quick! You have to pretend that you're dead Soldier! What the hell are you doing?!? I can't believe this, He actually died! All you had to do was pretend you were dead you lunatic! There's no time for this, Medicine Man! Is he trully dead? Yes he is! I'm a doctor and I have confirme
d this myself! Duck? Is that really you? Cow! Where have you been brother? Long time no see, man! Medicine Man, this is the Duck! A childhood friend of the Cow! Hi Doctor! It's a pleasure to meet you! The pleasure is all mine Mr.Duck! Anyway, I don't have a lot of
time. Can you guys hurry and put that disgusting fucking corpse inside the ship already? Okay then. I'm honestly glad we're going to
the Moon actually. it's not that far away and there's no fee for landing there To be honest that guy
wasn't really a good friend now that I think about it. He asked me for a lot of money. Then disappeared when I lent it to him I know how it is. Duck. Can the cow ask you something? Of course man, I'd usually charge for information but since you're a friend ask away. What can you tell us about the moon God. The Moon God? He's pretty chill! He's the one who gave me my arms and legs actually. But it seems the Moon Kingdom is in turmoil lately. The moon God's son is addicted to nfts it's pretty bad
So he's looking for someone who can cure his son's NFTs obsession. And he will grant any wish the hero wants as a reward. Can't he just wish for his son's obsession to end? No man, the moon God can't grant wishes that would benefit himself his family directly . Just like he can't grant wishes to anyone outside of this reality He must follow some strict rules Or else the Divine council will take away his powers and position as a God. Hey, we arrived! If you guys are looking for the moon God he l
ives in that castle over there! H A L T ! You shall not pass unless you solve the riddle We're not solving any fucking riddle, tin head! You see this man carrying me? Like a goddamn fairy tale Prince carries a helpless damsel? He's gonna cure the King's son! He came from an entirely different realm of existence. Just to cure that cuck's NFT addiction If that child dies before this doctor here is able to help him. I'll make sure the king sentences you and your entire family to death by boiling Je
sus fucking Christ man! It's all right okay, just go ahead and meet the fucking King! God damn... Open the doors! The King is behind that door, be kind and respectful to him! I was told one of you can cure my son's NFT addiction. Yes your majesty! I am confident I can cure him! I have a lot of experience treating this type of condition. In this case Here's my son. Don't be surprised by the fact my son is ball! I adopted him after his parents were
brutally murdered by a group of triangles. I cou
ldn't sleep at night knowing a child like him Would have to live his life in misery just because a bunch of triangle supremacists decided their shape was the superior shape The triangles need to learn to coexist, it takes all shapes to form a geometry! I agree your highness, but your son's
condition is serious I need a laboratory tools and all the ingredients I ask for my research. I understand I'll order my troops to prepare everything doctor But please save my son I have developed a serum tha
t should cure your son's Obsession But the serum is very strong and your son is already in a very delicate state This could cure him, but it could also kill him. Do you want me to go ahead and inject
it? I know it is dangerous doctor But I also know my son won't be able to live much longer like this. Go ahead, cure my beloved child... It is done, now we wait. Oh no! He's grey now! That means he is...HE IS... Wait! It's not over yet, look! He's cured! You did it doctor! Are you still addicted to
nfts my son? No father. I'm indeed free from the chains of addiction I no longer feel the pain I'll be forever grateful, I'll write songs and poems about you, my hero And I will grant you any wish you want, I am forever in your debt! Thank you your highness, but the truth is... I had a lot of help in my journey. These two, the duck and the Pumpkin of the sea Planet. Are as responsible for your son's recovery as I. I see, then I shall grant them their wishes too. For they are also heroes But do
state your wish. Well, your highness The soldier and I share the same wish. All we want is to be sent to Earth my home planet. In the timeline I originate from! Then your wishes shall be granted! I guess this is goodbye Cow! I was wrong about you son! I still don't exactly know why I hated you. But if I kept going down that path I'd be no better than the triangles who killed the ball's parents. I hope you can forgive me Cow and I also hope you are accepted by your people once again, dear friend.
The Cow will always remember both
of you The Cow is grateful for the opportunity of meeting such good friends. But every Journey must come to an end eventually. Goodbye my friends... He just disappeared, he was right here then he wasn't anymore! He was probably sent elsewhere
by this malfunctioning teleporter... Where are we? WHERE ARE WE?!? We are in America, you Maggot! Thank you for watching.
Comments