know this I love you brother I'm not sure what you will find waiting for you on the kitchen counter besides this notebook hopefully nothing but it wouldn't hurt to check the floor to make sure a finger or two hasn't rolled under the counter you and I have just hung up the phone and you're on your way here this gives me enough time to write this letter and finish what I started I want you to understand that I only threatened to burn this place down with me inside it to force you to come it was th
e only way I could get you to leave the city and drive to the farmhouse you would have thought I was mad if I told you over the phone that I solved the mystery as to why no one has ever found mum's body the answer lies within the kitchen drawer of course I'll be gone too by the time you get here I'd say goodbye in person but for me I accept my current physical state as a steady process of my own doing over the past 24 hours for you seeing me or should I say what's left of me would be a frightful
shock as you know Carolyn the kids moved in with her new boyfriend last year what you don't know is that my life has spiraled downward ever since or maybe it started long before her affair did she says I drove her and the kids away probably true the ones were closest to always see us crashing long before we even realise we're in a tail spin not long after they left I lost my job stopped paying my bills stopped socializing regrettably even with you I stopped everything well not everything the bo
ttle has become my companion I guess I'm more like dad than I ever wanted to be so of course I was drinking when Carol showed up at my apartment and demanded that I sign the divorce papers that didn't go well at all the bottle made sure of that so I fled and came here as far as I can tell no one has been inside since we were removed and placed in the boys home sad to think that this house never got a second chance at having a happy family as bleak as our childhood was I still pictured our home i
n the fair condition mom kept it during our youth so when I arrived here two days ago I was dismayed to see how decrepited it had become weather damage and the corrosion of time have plagued the roof and wooden frame making it look sickly in fact the surrounding neighborhood looks bad as if the atrocity spread from our house and infected the whole town and as you can see the inside is worse no electricity no water filth mold and the stench of abandonment pollutes the air the wooden floors are ro
tted the painted walls are chipped and the wallpapered ones are peeling I didn't look around much since there isn't a lot I want to reminisce about no drunk as I was my purpose was unclouded I entered the kitchen littered with rat turds and cobwebs was almost disappointed to find the outside of the kitchen drawer decayed with its steel handle rusted however I did get the shock I was expecting when I opened the drawer empty clean unchanged with time look for yourself Thomas but I warn you do not
put anything in the drawer not yet with great curiosity I examined the drawer first I tried to take it out by sliding it along its tracks but the drawer does not want to come out then I felt along the inside of the cabinet and every inch of it was sturdy and smooth I looked closely at the metal wheels and slides and found them shiny and unscathed so it makes no sense that the drawer is irremovable and even more illogical that it should be in such great condition after two decades of neglect then
again as you might recall this drawer does have a history mom would always complain that the cabinet was too darn big to keep important papers in nevertheless it became the one place in the house where she and dad put all kinds of stuff and it was mom who used to say that the drawer ate the stuffing bills letters pens and pencils whenever dad was furious about a Bill or anything with pertinent information getting lost mom would swear that she put it in the drawer and now it's gone dad would bea
t her later on she would tell us that the draw ate whatever she got punished for losing we agree but how awful it must have been for mom to feel patronized by her own children while nursing black eyes and swollen lips harden your heart dear brother for you must read the words you have never permitted me to speak in person in respecting your wishes I have kept a dark secret that not even Carol nor the police who interrogated us that night a privy to for on the night that dad killed mom I saw the
draw eat something dad and the bottle were hanging out all day when someone came to the farmhouse and gave him an envelope you and mom were upstairs the man drove away and dad opened the envelope right in front of me since we were always poor my eyes must have opened as wide as Dad's at the site of all that cash it was the first time I saw two things 100 dollar bills and Dad's smile he was jubilant as he counted $5,000 out loud keep in mind this wasn't a shared moment between us I was a witness
he was too drunk to see me sitting at the corner of the table doing my homework I watched him tuck the cash back inside the envelope and go over to the kitchen cabinet he opened the drawer put it inside and closed it then he went back in the living room to share the news with the bottle and call someone on the house phone mom came downstairs and started doing dishes I swear to you brother she did not open that drawer but when dad hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen the first thing he d
id was open it his face said it all the rage was like a switch that had been flipped on dad threw everything out of the drawer until there was nothing left he accused her of stealing his money she didn't have a clue as to what he was talking about that didn't stop him from hurting her eventually dad noticed me I suffered a few blows as I was also forced to deny stealing his money he sent me up to my room and there I stayed like a coward as mom fought to her last breath I've always admired you fo
r sneaking out of your bedroom window going to the neighbors and calling the police I'm glad dad got caught literally red handed blood all over himself on the sore he used to presumably dismember her and blood all over the kitchen everywhere except inside the drawer the cop said it was as if dad had a plastic bag in that drawer that he kept putting body parts in but they never could determine where the body parts went from there mom was gone every single part of her only the stain of the crime r
emained which is sadly ironic because she hated a messy kitchen mum would have cringed at the notion of one day being reduced to a blood stain dad was drunk during his confession but it was still admissible in court when he told the officers on scene that he killed his wife in a fit of rage he never admitted to dismembering her despite all of the blood evidence her bloody clothes were found on the kitchen floor when asked how he disposed of her body from his original confession to his dying word
s in a prison hospital he always gave the same response you wouldn't believe me if I told you yesterday I woke up on the rotted kitchen floor having passed out drunk on my first night back in 26 years I immediately went out and got another bottle just like dad I came back here to the scene of the crime and the bottle and I opened up our souls why didn't I try to save mom did dad do what I think he did with her body does the draw really eat stuffing bills letters pens and pencils flesh bones orga
ns and hair after going mad with questions the bottle and I conducted an experiment I took a pair of Scissors I found a rock from outside and my vehicle registration from the car and I put three items in the drawer I closed it for a mere second before yanking the drawer back open paper Scissors no rock dumbfounded I examined the drawer then I closed the cabinet and opened it again Scissors no paper I closed and opened it a third time empty not to sound insensitive given the subject matter but I
was excited because I proved mom right the drawer does eat stuffing it eats when it chews by being opened and closed if you have more than one thing in there when you open and close that drawer something's going to get chewed up if there is only one item inside then that item will be eaten that's why the police never found Mom's body because dad cut her up into pieces and help the drawer chew her up sorry to be so crude I bet it started as cruel revenge him sticking a part of her in the drawer h
e must have been shocked when that part disappeared then be he put a second piece of her inside out of stubborn disbelief when it happened again I gather he saw it as a means to hide the evidence of his crime so mom became stuffing the draw eats whatever you feed it even if it's something dead call it supernatural call it divine call the draw whatever you want but it is a living thing the magnitude is extraordinary realization gave me a strange rush I actually smiled for a moment like dad did wh
en he saw that cash and just like dad my mood quickly soured when I heard banging at the front door and the sound of Carol Elling as I confess bear in mind brother that I had been drinking all day and Carol has become the person I hate most in the world post Dad's death to liver cancer so when she tracked me down to our childhood home and barged inside I felt like a trapped animal under attack she stormed in the kitchen and demanded that I sign the divorce papers she had in hand well it is here
that I wholeheartedly admit to feeling a surge of alcohol fueled rage coarsed through my veins as I wanted to stuff those divorce papers in the drawer close it and make room for more stuffing filled with anger I moved toward her and then it caught the corner of my eye from across the room I turned to look and saw it clearly from the sunlight piercing through the dirty window a blood stain on the counter a mom stain mom I hugged Carol signed the divorce papers and asked her to tell the kids that
I loved them she left confused but gratified I've never succumbed to violence and I never will I guess I'm not like dad after all it made me realize that I probably didn't need to drink like dad did either invigorated I grabbed the bottle and headed for the drawer I slammed the bottle inside and shut it I was drunk mind you as my four fingers were inside the drawer when I closed it I felt a tap nothing more I opened it the drawer ate one of my fingers the bottle was there I still had three of my
four digits but my middle finger was gone there was no pain the skin over the knob was smooth as if my finger had been removed surgically and healed over the reason I didn't freak out was because I was pissed off about it I wanted my finger back and I was drunk so I did something stupid I removed the bottle and stuck my whole hand inside I shut the drawer on my hand with the desire to open it and have my finger reattached the slight tap near the base of my thumb was subtle but proved significan
t as the drawer considered my palm thumb and three remaining fingers as one stuffing my hand was gone at the wrist I stared in disbelief at the nub on the end of my arm there wasn't any pain but I'm pretty sure I was in shock as I shove my arm inside the drawer and yelled for it to replace my hand right now I drunkenly slammed the drawer closed on my arm and then I stood up yes the drawer ate my arm I used my other hand to feel the knob at my shoulder blade where my arm used to be connected I re
member laughing and feeling dizzy and then for the second time since I arrived I passed out on the kitchen floor when I awoke there was a strange sensation with my missing limb I could feel all of my fingers attached to my hand which felt reattached to my arm I'm not talking about phantom limbs I'm saying that wherever my arm was it was whole again I could touch my missing fingers together I could snap with my thumb and middle finger which was the first part of me to go and now it's back in plac
e I felt my missing hand crawl around a strange floor then I bent my arm at the elbow and felt the knob above my armpit where my arm ends the draw eats whatever you feed it even if it's something alive my revelation inclines me to believe that the draw doesn't care whether you're dead or alive or in pieces the end result is that it puts you together again whole on the other side wherever that is it begs further questions did mom get reconnected piece by piece and if so maybe she got put back tog
ether alive well dear brother that is what I intend to find out first I retrieve this notebook and a pen from my car and sat down on the kitchen counter then I called you on my cell and turn my phone off as I wrote all this you should be here shortly as I have no reason to think you're not coming to try and save me from torching this place with me inside it you always were the heroic one and now it's time for me to go one piece at a time after all some of me is already there wherever there is th
e rest of me is catching up that's all while seated on the counter I stuck one foot inside the drawer and closed it I felt a mere tap and nothing more I lifted my leg up and stared at the ankle knob where my foot used to be I wiggled my missing toes and could feel them moving around somewhere waiting for me to say it's been challenging would be an understatement but I've managed to maneuver around well enough to help the draw eat me after I fed it my other foot I stuffed my legs in the drawer on
e at a time until my legs were gone from the knees down then I kind of slid down into the drawer up to my belly button I used my only remaining hand to pull myself and the drawer closed I felt a pat on my lower body and then suddenly I was falling thankfully my hand caught the edge of the sink and I was able to pull myself back up onto the counter I'm half a man from stomach to head with but one arm to finish this letter and lower myself down into the drawer then I will stuff myself inside and p
ull the cabinet closed reuniting with the rest of me again may I remind you to check the floor for fingers in case I lose one closing the drawer and if so be a sport and toss them in one at a time I'd hate to be incomplete wherever I'm going if I'm right and mom is there I will tell her you love her who knows you might even decide to come join us Arthur Dear Arthur thank you for writing this letter I'm sorry that your final attempt didn't go as successfully as you certainly hoped your hand was c
rawling around the floor when I entered the kitchen I screamed and stomped on your hand several times sorry about that I hope it didn't hurt you too bad wherever you are I wonder if you were consciously controlling your hand when it grabbed hold of my shoe or was it instinctually grasping at me in survival mode either way I threw your creepy hand in the drawer of all places it's as if the drawer wants us to feed it no maybe it does have influence over this place in us I closed the drawer and fou
nd this notebook lying on the counter after reading it I summoned the courage to open the drawer again I hope your hand found you well my brother and that you are whole since you confided in me allow me to share with you a secret I too have kept all these years of the heroics you mentioned when I ran to the neighbors I didn't go out my window I snuck out the back door but first I crept to the kitchen doorway and saw dad stuffing mom inside the drawer piece by piece that's why I've never been abl
e to discuss that day regrettably not even with you and for the rest of my life I have suffered nightmares of seeing mom in some strange place where she has been put back together again piece by piece except her reattached head and limbs are bloody and crooked she is whole but not alive as she reaches for me I'd wake up screaming in my bed I still do and I pray that if you did find mom whole she is the version you hoped for and not the one that haunts me last night I had another nightmare mom wa
s in that strange place but for the first time you were standing beside her on crooked legs both of you whole but in pieces not alive but still reaching for me my apologies for sharing such a morbid vision but I hope it explains why I dare not attempt to join you after I feed this notebook to the drawer I'm going to burn this place to the ground call it mystical call it magical I don't care what you call this living abomination because this letter is the last thing that it's ever going to eat I
hope the drawer chokes on it goodbye brother and know this I love you too Thomas
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