I also feel I. Think there was a little bit
of a welcome home. A little breath. Y'all could have been louder, but okay. yeah, right. I mean. Again, again, again. yeah. Well, welcome, everyone. Thank you so much for being with us
tonight. Of course,
we're all here to support, uplift and hear from Raquel Willis and the risk
it takes to bloom. I'm Michelle Meow,
a member of the Board of Governors for the Commonwealth Club
World Affairs in California. And we're joined by the fabulous
Baia Vieira, wh
o's the CEO of the Women's
Foundation of California. And so, yeah, there's lots lots to unpack here,
especially through your book, through your lens,
through your lived experiences. I thought we'd just jump right into it. And you can see I made some notes here. I actually wanted to start at the very beginning of the introduction,
which then you go, you elaborate more and it's a scene from the Women's
March back in 2017. And I was as I was reading this, it brought me back to how scary
that moment
was. Great. Trump had just taken office. The first thing he does
is put out some executive orders and which yeah, the first one to ban Muslims
in this country, which I didn't even think is actually possible
for a president to do. Fast forward to the Women's March
and you're about to take the mike. You're so excited your mom's there. You're surrounded by so many people that you are in awe of. Who are these women
who are black activists, who are LGBT, great, A-plus activists? You get up to your s
peech and not long
into your speech, your mike gets cut off. I'll start by this silence. I think that Nadia kind of touched in on this,
where silence, silence is violence. And then silence is fear. Silence is paralyzing. Silence can stop even a movement from coming together
to address the issues that we face. Let's start with. Yeah. That's what you'd like to see
why you started with this as part of your introduction. Because I think that it actually,
you know, dives into everything else perfectl
y. Yeah, well,
it felt important to talk about this a moment that, folks, a lot of folks
kind of knew me for as like this introduction,
I guess, to a national platform. And how, of course, there's like the image that people have externally. And then of course, there's
like the reality of what I experience. So while the world in a lot of ways
saw that moment as a spike and not my moment per se,
but this collective moment as this high point of intersectionality of justice and,
you know, the masses
mobilizing as an individual. I left away. I left feelings diminished in that silence. And yeah, some of it is about the call
to cut my mike and I think that there were other folks
that day who experienced that. One of the rumors that day was like, wow, you know,
they had some celebrities come through the day of who are not planned
to be a part of the lineup. And then they started adding people in. And so I was really interested in how we talk about the ways that capitalism and celebrity culture
and all these things,
and we have all these critiques of infiltrate and seep into our so-called most progressive spaces as well. And that was what I felt. But I also,
as a black trans woman, felt like and it was interesting, right,
that I had these callbacks to people like Sardar and Truth or Marcia Johnson
or Sylvia Rivera, you know, women of color
who have been silenced at various points throughout this kind of complex history
that I carry as a black trans woman that I also literally experien
ced in that
moment a similar type of silencing. So how far had we really come? You know, and that was kind of the question of that. But what I also felt was that I no longer wanted to rely on, says people or white people or whoever
to give me the platform to tell my story. I wanted to be able to do that myself. And the risk
it takes the moments, evidence of that. Yeah, Yeah, I. I love that part. She said, You know, your file this moment,
put it in your pocket and you're kind of swore to yourself
that you would eventually find this moment in it. And that was going to be my next question. So was through the book or, you know,
because you could do it in an interview, you could do it TV, radio,
but really, you know, the book is kind of a place in which
I feel like you reclaim this for yourself
from that very moment of I wanted to, you know, ask Beard Right. To add really your comments
also in silence, because I know that we had our pre talk and this silencing and fear,
you know, the fear t
hat we place on each other,
I mean, this is all part is a tactic. The plan that it's like forever in time is nothing new
is basically where we're going with this. Yeah I think that one thing
that I would like to bring to the room one is today's the first day of Ramadan
and I was really very moved to hear what our sisters had to say
about the moment that we're in in the United States, but internationally
and how we show up for each other. And I think that reading that experience
that you had with
the Women's March made me think about all the ways in which we reproduce and the the oppression that we feel at different points and the way that we exclude instead of include
the way that we need to find. If there isn't,
there's not enough for everybody. Therefore, I have to take my piece. And I think that part of the work
right now or in the past for sure, is really how is it
that we find humanity in each other? How is it
that we include more than exclude and that we are at this moment
that w
e can see an internal national coordinated movement against gender, against us, against a lot of folks? So we need to stay together. We need to stay in connection and in
relationship with each other to be able to continue
to grow together and move forward. So that example is an example
that I truly hope that we can the example with the Women's
March, that we can really think about how is it
that we do show up for each other? How is it that we and I don't even know if that's the word
an invisible
eyes, folks that need to be at the table, That need whose voices we need to hear. Yeah, I, I what I would add,
I mean, I, you know, when I think about the invisibility power, which is huge, and I think that's often
like our entry point to doing some of this work is like, how
can we chip chip away at invisibility? And when I think about this moment,
particularly thinking about all of the anti LGBTQ rights
legislation, right, a lot of that is like the result of visibility of trans
folks in partic
ular and queer folks. But it's so there's that like double edged
sword of like the visibility. But it's also a reminder
that visibility isn't enough. And so beyond them making sure
that folks on the margins are seeing how are we tangibly invested
in their lives. Right. And in their rights to bodily autonomy
or self-determination or our people's rights to sovereignty or the pursuit of fulfillment? Right. The pursuit of a full life. And I think that sometimes
that's where we get the hang of. Yeah,
especially when we see the fights
around DIY in various industries. It's like people think that's enough. So plop black person in that space,
plop a trans person in that space, but not actually have an infrastructure
that's ready for them. Yeah, and that is a problem
because when you chip away at the DIY efforts, it's
like because there is nothing in a lot of these places
beyond the visibility part. So protect and defend the folks
once they're in those spaces. Yeah. And to also have options in
terms of who is making decisions, right,
Like who is it that has power in that system. So I think some of the work that we do at the foundation
really is to have long term support to movement organizations, to leaders
to because it takes a long time. So how is it that you continue
to support folks individually to be able to, you know, be their full selves
and at the same time shore up the organization
so that there are infrastructure in place and at the same time
that is supporting the movement
forward. But I will say that there is this way in which to show up for each other means that we have to be in relationship
with each other. And that requires work and that requires time and requires building trust. Because movement is all
about relationships, right? Like we that's what makes it
movement is our relationships. So if I have a relationship with you, I am going to make sure that your mike is not cut off of me. There's no, no, no, there's none of that. And then you,
of course, are goi
ng to make it. You know what I mean? Like, it just requires
getting to know each other in this very human way. I want to go deep in that because
and I won't read from the book itself is you see a lot of things
that I had to question. I mean, does the world do people even actually
understand what you're saying here? People like us who are here tonight,
who know you, who support you, who are in relationship
with you, absolutely understand you. How do we talk about this
to the rest of the world who
don't understand
and who then perpetually, you know, are complicit in the systems
that, yeah, are killing us basically. As a black trans
woman, I wondered why the macro movements that claim to fight for the lives
of the most marginalized weren't pouring resources
into keeping trans people alive. Blake,
like countless other young black trans people, were on the front lines
of organizing and protests. Yet all their lives were relegated to the periphery. Let's unpack
that and apply it to the to to
. I think you know why this is. It's like ongoing
sometimes I look back to 2017 and the Women's March
and then now I'm reading the news. Why are we still here? Yeah, well, I should clarify,
if folks don't know Blake Brockington, a young black trans boy who died by suicide in 2015. Almost exactly a year, actually, on what would have been
this month, that year. And this was a time that I had had, you know,
a lot of experiences had started. My journalism career was not out
as trans or queer in my
first job
as a news reporter in small town Georgia. And I took a new job in Atlanta. That was not a movement. Yeah,
but it there was the death of Lila Alcorn, known trans girl
who died by suicide in December 2014. That was kind of the catalyst for me to be more open
about my identity in my work and publicly. But also then Blake,
which was just a few months after that, and at that point I was getting more connected to the local Atlanta organizing scene, which is glorious, you know, amazing
black,
queer and trans folks. You know, we wouldn't
have reproductive justice as a concept in the way that we think about it now without, you know, the work of people
like Loretta Ross, who found it since their song and,
you know, so many folks from Atlanta. And so I was seeing this ecosystem
and we were also in the height of or one of the heights of the Movement
for Black Lives. And also I was seeing this like larger
LGBTQ platform movement that was delirious off the high of, you know, or soon to be
delirious off the high of marriage
equality with Obergefell v Hodges and I just thought about, to your point, how trans folks had fallen below the radar for so long in this movement
that has relied on this idea of adding us to the acronym,
but often not doing much else. And to be honest,
even as I was reckoning with those things, I didn't know that there was this
kind of long, ongoing struggle for trans folks, particularly of color,
in the larger LGBTQ class movement, right? I knew of figures l
ike Marsha and Sylvia
and so many others, but I didn't know, you know,
the fights of people like Sylvia, literally,
you know, living in poverty and squalor, calling out,
for instance, organizations in New York that supposedly cared about at least gay
and lesbian folks at that time. Right. I didn't think about or know about people
like Marsha, who we paid us to live. Right. But she didn't get her pedestal
in this kind of collective flower crown and tell what to almost three decades after her demi
se. And we actually don't know what all the circumstances were around her
death right. So we lift up, you know, these figures who were never fully recognized or seen while they were living. So grappling with that is one thing. And I think we also have to be real
to the point around solidarity
and showing up for our each other. We also have to be responsible
to historical harm that has existed
and these macro movements. And so cis queer people, I know it's
not you, it's almost I don't want to say
if it's an apples to oranges
or it's an apples to apples comparison. Right? We'll say it's apples to oranges, But,
you know, it's almost like when I hear white people say, well,
I wasn't a slave owner, so I don't have to be responsible
to black Americans, for instance. Right. And and our fight for liberation. But when I hear says queer folks kind of ignore and brush away institutional harm
that has happened or movement harm and say,
well, it's a different time now. Like, I'm not that leader or
I'm not this isn't the institution
that it was in the nineties or whatever. It's different now. I think there's a moment of healing that we bypass
because we have to understand that you don't get this moment of anti
LGBT issue pass legislation without all of these cracks
that were already existing. Our movement that cis gay
and lesbian folks allowed to exist. And when I think about and I know I'm going on and on,
but when I think about the 70 years a lot of us don't know the roots of gay
politic
al lobbying in the United States, you know, So there is this one
figure named Steve and the incest gay man. He wrote a memoir, I believe it was called Mainstreaming. It wasn't mainstreaming the movement,
but it into the mainstream. And he was talking about the fight
for push protections for gay and lesbians into the mainstream
of political discourse. And he wrote this in like 1990, I believe,
and then passed like right around the time
it was published by it. He was one of the key figures
on the
start of HRC, but also someone who pushed
this idea of gay Politico lobbying for the rights of CIS gay and lesbian folks. Maybe. BI But you know how BI folks
have been treated since the last Be clear. But he pushed this idea
that we didn't need to open the tent too much, right? If we let the freaks
and the free for the drag queens. So that's a nod to the drag bands
we have now. And the trans folks. He would have said Transvestites, I'm sure the trans folks now. Right. The the fight against trans
folks. Now, he thought that that tent was too big
and there was no way that we could assimilate enough to get the rights
that gay and lesbian folks really want it. And we're not even talking about class. We're not even talking about whiteness and the access
to all those other things have. But we don't actually talk about that
history of gay political lobbying and that that fight for assimilation is being used by the right now against us. Yeah, it is. I know that was really long,
but it's a long
history. But I urge folks to know about that
political history because a lot of folks are hurting
because we don't talk about those things candidly
and because folks don't have access to why there is discord
between different letters of the acronym. Definitely. I do want go back a little bit
to what you said about healing and moments of healing that we have gone. Of course, we are 40 some years old as an organization and have gone through, you know,
all the different waves of feminism and have
had to really look at ourselves
and look at inside ourselves about what pieces are we carrying, what pieces of the harm did we do. And it's a I would say internal is still a process
and we have moved some. But I think that one of the things
that's been important for us is also creating and creating spaces where there can be really good conflict so that we can understand and get to the place
where there is empathy for each other. And we can also recognize
that there is harm and to be able to move
on more even more strongly. And it requires a lot of for an organization,
it requires trust and patience and really being able to be open and be able to be even vulnerable
as an organization, which is, as you know, not as easy to do. But I think that if if not for that, I thi irrevocable. Now, how do you say irreverent? No, irrelevant. Irrelevant. Yeah. Because that is what it's called. This is what's B what
we are called to do right now. Yeah. By the way, we did pass out
some question cards fo
r you. So if you have questions
that you would like to ask a vehicle or be a, we'll call for them
in just a few minutes here. And don't forget, there is a reception
book signing, so no worries. If you didn't bring your book in by book,
we have them for sale as well. I think I'm going to read
I'm going to read some more because I do want to stay
on this conversation of being honest and real about
what's not working in our movement. Even for myself as a cis queer person, I'm sitting up here questi
oning
now what could I be doing different? Yeah, or even like, did I do something? You know,
not right here in the last one hour, even having this conversation,
really trying to think deeply. I mean, how do, how do we address
how do we address each other? And that's where we are in this movement,
where it's like the gloves. I don't want to say the gloves come off,
but, you know, we've just been too nice. Stacey, l have done the same go for. I don't think we have to do nice at all. I just think t
hat. It does take you know, it takes some bravery to be vulnerable. And we live in a space that vulnerability is not seen as a strength or seen as a leadership quality or seen
as something that you should be doing. Like I know in my career, I have not been
seen as a strong leader because, you know, in any moment I might start crying
or telling you about my personal story. But I think that that is the thing like that vulnerability to be vulnerable. It requires of understanding yourself,
understan
ding your organization, and being clear
about that through difficulty. You can get to another place. And I actually think that developmentally,
like sometimes, obviously
not if somebody is trying to harm you, but if you're in community
and you're in relationship that you have to have those tension moments,
but you have to stay with it. And that is really hard. Yeah, I agree. I think the vulnerability piece
is so key and and us really knowing what our values are,
even just as individuals. Right.
I mean, I think we think about value
only in kind of maybe a collective sense and not enough even there
or in an institution where a part of but knowing what your core values are is key. And you know, I'm all about vulnerability
as a core value. So I think that that's real. I think folks have to be willing to live in that exact inquiry of of like, you're probably not getting everything
right now, you know. But I think it's the curiosity
to do better, right? Or to learn more or to be more investe
d
in the next person's experience that maybe connects us. All right. Because everybody wants you to be curious
about them in some way, Right. So I think that that matter. I think also in social justice spaces and I guess particularly in professional spaces, you know, it's all gravy. You know,
I think that we like to act as if working at a nonprofit like this,
not all gravy work. Right? Or working out a philanthropy
automatically makes us some kind of sane right or means that we're in this kind
o
f beautiful, sacred space. And that's not true, right? It's just as flawed
as every other workplace, Right? I mean,
we have to talk about capitalism, right? What it does to our relationships. And that's just real, you know, And to your point
about being a leader or being seen as someone we can trust with power, right,
when that's trapped in this capitalist frame,
that's its own thing there. There is an inherent element
of exploitation that is there
because I need you to get this done so that thi
s organization doesn't
fall apart. Right.
Or the institution doesn't fall apart. So and we have to be real
and have those conversations instead of being like,
well, we're all family. No, we're not. We're not
we're not going to talk about that. You know, I got your back. Like the president sounds like that is the same talking point
you had the last State of the Union. You know what you can say.
You got my back. But where was the action? I Need you to be about that action. Yeah. You know, so, you
know,
I think that that's a piece of it, too. I'm going to read about some action here
that you took in calling Alec, calling out, calling in
and getting some real work done. So in a few meetings with Nadine,
I'd asked why the organization wasn't doing more
to end the murders of black trans women. She said that getting black trans
organizers together was a risk and that the dustup at the incite convening
had deterred TLC from doing more. While I understood
the complexities of movement drama, the
response was insufficient. And then you can go
go into a little bit more context in that. But I feel like that had been like you had this very authentic reaction,
even if the organizations that you had worked with or folks in the movement
that you may have trusted or thought. Right, were on your side,
actually were missing some key pieces here, which was, yeah, protecting black trans women from dying, even if they're LGBTQ
or they're part of a women's movement. So talk to us about having the co
urage. To you look, look, you this is all about courage. The risk, the gift of bloom here today. Blossom, those reciprocal. Yeah. You know what
I think the beautiful thing. So. And I have this opportunity, right? So complicate this and add lines that, you know, I talk about my own journey at, for instance,
transgender law center with shout out. So some my former coworker
slash friends are here I get to talk about that. And I'll also make the point
that my critique of my experiences in the workpl
ace
are not in the service of canceling or whatever
I was going to say, right? It's really just to show that like I went through these things
and saw things along with other people, but don't think that everything
is all great on your side either, right? Because we've kind of dynamics are
happening at pretty much every workplace. Right? And this was pre 2020. So let's be clear. This was before everyone,
you know, used their little black square and ascended
and a social justice expertise. But it
was important to talk about these expectations I had. Are these ideas I had of going to a trans ladder organization that was made up of a lot of trans people
at that time. I struggle with saying
if it was mostly trans at that time because there were a lot of those people
in positions of power. Let's be clear, there had never also been a black trans director there. I don't think that there had ever been
a Latin X trans director. There. You know,
So those are real dynamics to name. But I had all o
f these expectations
and ideals. But still experience misogyny, still experience anti-blackness,
you know, or Afro transphobia or Afro trans misogyny,
all these different things. And then, of course, I had coworkers who were dealing with embolism, right. Or coworkers dealing, go figure, you know, anti-immigrant bias
and so much more. So it's important for us to be real about the fact that these systems of oppression
don't just go away just because we have programs that say
that we're ending this
and other places. Right. It it just doesn't. Right. So it was important to name
those things and share those things, but also share that they are well meaning people who cause harm. And that doesn't mean erase the harm
just because they're well-meaning or your heart was in the right place. Right. The intent versus impact
kind of situation. But we have to have space
to talk about the messiness of it all so that we can be better
on the other side of that. And so be frank. You know,
TLC was never
going to be a place where I could fully be seen and, you know, all of my glory, right? Or maybe that I would ever be,
you know, compensated equaling to transmasculine folks who were doing the exact same work
and had the exact same title. Not in that time. Now it's a different story. Right. Which is a beautiful thing. But I think one of the things that I think I struggle with
and maybe other folks struggle with about organizations
we care about our institutions. We care about that we left those l
ike sometimes in the leaving
and there are a lot of people who laughs. That's when the growth happens that. Maybe that's the biggest statement
you can make so that it can be better
for the next folks that come. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think all that you wrote here and how genuine and your, your honesty
with your live experiences gives the rest of us,
especially cisgender folks, ideas of how we can be better. And you're actively curating
those growth moments. US We don't have a lot of time left,
but
I mean even just what we did tonight in giving space
for so many folks and for these conversations
that we need to have to save human life shows, you know, all the risk that you do
take to bloom and to continue blooming. I'd love for BIA. Just to add, you know,
some of your thoughts before we go to questions
from the audience here about going back to that connectedness
and growing now, organizations right, like the Women's Foundation in California
can do better and better and better. And and eve
n with the programs and write and talk about something
that we do for inclusivity. Could we can continuously do better.
Right. Like one of the the the one of the programs we have is the Policy Institute,
the Solis Policy Institute. And I do think when we look at all the women's women's funds across the United States, one of the things that makes us a little bit different
is that in addition to the grantmaking that we do,
we have all of these folks in community that are working with us
and we're
working with them to pass policy in California. And our fellows there, usually about 35 to 40 fellows a year, they push us. They are constantly
pushing the organization because not only are they in the front line,
they are also participating in this very important place
of like moving policies that are addressing issues
in the communities in the front line. But they are also there to push us to grow
and to be better. And and that takes commitment
and really has to be a value that that folks in t
he organization have,
including the board. You know, we know, you know, at Eastside,
who is on our board is somebody who has really pushed us
and continues to push to push us, but also a place where we can be together with her as well, You know,
So we are there to support each other. Question from
the audience What is, in your opinion, the biggest systemic roadblock
to bipoc trans liberation. And. Telling give me an easy one. The third, the biggest systemic roadblock. I think it sounds maybe che
esy or two in the bag,
but I mean, it is like how invested
we're indoctrinated to be in the sense that our patriarchy
because I mean, literally we're born, we're defined before we're born,
a lot of us and most of us right. And I really think we have to be moving to a space where folks can come into a gender neutral context so that they can figure out
what their life is along the way. And that is a system of oppression that colors every aspect and colors. What you get to do at school, maybe even
what school you go to,
like I talk about in the book, like wanting to go to the fine
art school, right? But it was like the gay school, you know,
But that's all tied up. And so all of these notions of like gender and like what's what's right
and what's not. So I think those things are important. And then I think to
maybe give them more concrete so some people think we really have
to tackle the violence here. I will constantly. I mean, I think throughout my life
struggle with this idea that, you
know, we fight for all of these rights and,
you know, different kind of things, but we ignore literally
that people's lives are being taken. So like, if your life is taken,
you can't even enjoy the protection that we're supposedly fighting for collectively as a movement. And that gets so black trans folks lots and x trans folks, martyrs being deprioritized and movement. Vulnerability showing and engaging with this is in many instances
in enacted privilege. Question for Rick How do we all create
more space for this? Okay, to read that one more time. Vulnerability showing and engaging with
this is in many ways and enacted privilege. I guess. How do we create more space for vulnerability? I, I struggle with that. I don't know that I agree
that vulnerability is necessarily a privilege. I actually find that the folks who tend to have the most power
tend to be the least vulnerable and tend to be the folks who, you know, are less likely to share
whatever hurt or harm that they're feeling beca
use they are latching on
for their power. So I struggle with that idea
that vulnerability is as an of privilege
because the most vulnerable people, vulnerable people I've ever know,
have known the most vulnerable people I have ever known
have been the folks with the least. So I struggle with that. But I think the ways
that we work through the vulnerability is building our relationships to ourselves,
telling our story to ourselves, and not the story that you tell
everybody else, you know? Yeah. B
ecause oftentimes
we're trying to save face or protect those things that we think are slight. So our our, our,
our, our, our weaknesses. And I think when we can get to the
the truth about the things that bring us harm and the things that make us feel
validated, then we'll get to the vulnerable,
vulnerable vulnerability piece. I don't know what's happening. You ready to sign some books? That's on Kathy here. So we're going to do that
in just a couple minutes. And so don't forget,
you can get a
book tonight if you don't have one record signing. And we have a nice little reception
where we can also add on to the question,
whoever asked that, if you wanted to have Raquel see more, I'll end with a couple more questions. How about a question for for beer? As you mentioned,
I mentioned this earlier. You talked about patients
like patients as required in our movement. But who is this asked of them? It's it's usually asked of folks
who are in the receiving end of things. Right. But I actually
when I think about it, I, I do mean that it requires everyone's ability to go to spend time doing something hard because nothing really changes
without that. I mean, even when things can quickly, but then it doesn't stick like so the patients piece. Yes, I understand that sometimes, like I'm an immigrant, I'm queer, I have an accent. And so then like a lot of times
I'm the one, you know, I can see when people I'm sorry,
I'm going, I'm veering off. But it's going to make sense sometimes,
you kno
w, when you meet somebody, I can see if they're counting
the pineapples in my head, you know, like with Carmen, Miranda and I can. So there are these moments that I
was like, I just have to wait and I will get there. And but I also have to be
in a relationship where I know I can I can wait and it's going to go somewhere,
you know? Yeah,
I hear grace and intentionality and that. Yeah, yeah. And also, I think nuance is something
that I loved about your book is that you talk a lot about, for exampl
e,
when you talk about your dad, that you understand
where his reaction came. It doesn't take away from the hurt,
but there is a way in which you can hold very different things at the same time, which is what it takes to be able to be vulnerable and to understand
that you can get to a different place. I think I'm going to say that
that's a Gemini thing because the Gemini Gemini needs some love. Always think, yeah. I'll end with this. Or is a question there
that somebody had asked from the audie
nce, you know, what was the most fun part
about writing this book for you? But I think I'll add to that question. I mean, there's so much that we didn't get to cover,
such as the letters that you wrote for, you know, the lives have been lost, especially those,
you know, within the movement. You wrote a letter to your dad. He talked about becoming you coming up
and all these personal stories that you wove into your lived experience
and still in it. Right. You're still in it. You're still here. St
ill speaking for us. Share with us. You know, just the takeaway
for all of us here in this beautiful book that this memoir you've gifted us
with, the risk it takes to bloom. Yeah. So I was inspired the title was inspired by this poem that actually a woman named Apple created here in the Bay Area
back in the seventies. And she actually wrote this
like little poem that she included on like a flier,
and it was like posted all over Bart. And that was kind of the idea that
that was kind of the of li
ke how it spread because for a long time it was the message
attributed to another writer. And the poem is
and the day came when the breast and the day came when the rest remains
high in blood in a bud. Give me a second, because I don't know why
I'm sharing all of my words like me. And the day came
when the risk to remains high and the it was more painful than
the risk it some blossom. The first time I heard it was
at the beginning of an Alicia Keys album. I'm losing that element. Of freedom
and
she put her own stank on it. And then she was like, And the day came
when the risks remained tight and a book was more painful than the risk. It's a sibling just like that. And it stuck with me
because when I heard it, I was like a freshman in college
and I had come out as queer like 14 and high school
and it was like a whole thing. You can read those stories. But I felt that like I felt like having an experience that first coming out,
it was like, there's so much risk. So many of us in queer li
fe
and in queer community take just for the simple things, right? Just to be regarded in the right way, just to be labeled in the right way,
just to be addressed in the right way. And I found that, you know, those lessons I experienced or learned during that coming out really was parallel to the experiences
that I was going to have throughout life. Like when I experienced my father
dying at 19, kind of unexpectedly,
it was like, okay, what is what is the risk
I'm going to take on this other side
to bloom into something else
or see something better on the other side than just the tragedy
I feel in this moment, or just a hard, difficult things
that I fell in being silent maybe about who I was before
I came out as trans. Right. So that's kind of the idea
that we have to take the risk to see if there's something better
than what we're doing right now. And I've found more often than that,
you won't fail, you know, like it. It can't be anything but better once
you kind of rip the band aid of
f or go through that thing,
or at least acknowledge that thing, that may be hard for you. So that's what the risk
it takes the moments about. For me, it's it's shattering expectations. And I think we all can live
with a more of that in our lives. Raquel Willis, everyone. Yeah, yeah. Don't cry. Don't cry. Thank you. Thank you so much, all of you,
for being with us here tonight. Thank you to our online audience. Thank you to Viviana
for being with us tonight and also the Women's Foundation
of Cali
fornia for making tonight possible. Thank you to our community partners,
Lyric Lovato, Trans Latina and also transgender district. Actually, if you were here representing
the organization, we'd like to invite you to take a group photo with Raquel and BIA. Sara here. Is. Family. Everyone. Sarah is going to take the photo. Don't forget, we're going to do book
signings right outside the door. Some wine and other beverages,
if you'd like. And we've got some swimmers
and some jubilee salad to go with
it. So let's relax,
hang out and love one another. I'm Michel Michel from the Commonwealth
Club World Affairs of California. We'll see you next time. And
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