("Blue Movie" by Russell Aquarius plays) ♪ Stag flick, drag chick,
sock it to me baby ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ Horizontal boogie, in my blue movie ♪ ♪ Loosey goosey, blue movie ♪ ♪ French kiss, Swiss miss ♪ ♪ Thai tryst with an LA twist ♪ ♪ Getting juicy in my blue movie ♪ ♪ Proctor playing doctor ♪ ♪ Blue movie ♪ ♪ Ooh la la, she burns her bra ♪ ♪ Liberated cutie with
a liberating booty ♪ ♪ Stag flick, drag chick,
sock it to me baby ♪ ♪ Let it in, let it all
hang out, blue movie ♪ ♪ Fr
eak flag, sex tag,
blow your mind, baby ♪ ♪ Fly em high, let the
joint get down, blue movie ♪ ♪ Catch my date in Super Eight ♪ (upbeat music) (sobbing) - [Tawny] Oh Alberta, honey, don't cry. Nana lived a long and happy life and you know whose music
we played at the funeral, just like she wanted. Honey, Nana would've understood. - Mom, I didn't even
realize she was so sick, I could've flown out. - Alberta, you know what
your, well, nevermind, you couldn't have, but you're here in spirit. - Mom,
please don't tell me you wore a Def Leppard
shirt to the service. - What? It was black. Anyway, sweetie, Nana left some of
her things just for you. I sent you a package. Oh God, I hope it arrives safely. - Oh, yeah yeah, thanks Mom It came this morning, ("Scorpio's Mantra" by
Russell Aquarius plays) - [Tawny] Okay, I'll talk to you later. (Scorpio's Mantra plays) ♪ Dripping sunshine ♪ ♪ Wet window pane ♪ ♪ Cry of love for souls unchained ♪ - [Alberta] Hi Russell,
welcome to the 21st century. Oh,
I almost forgot. Sugar! (music) (music) (upbeat music) - [Radio Voice] And that was
another unforgettable song from Creed. Next up on KLUV, an hour long
rock block, commercial free, of Russell Aquarius from 1970
at the Gettysburg Music Fest, his very last concert. Don't worry folks, we won't be playing the very
end and with good reason. Today would have been
Russell's 58th birthday, had he not been taken from us so young. In fact, he was an early
member of the 27 Club forging the paths of Jimmy
Hendrix, Janice Joplin, the great Jim Morrison, and not so long ago, Mr. Kurt Cobain, who all died at the tender age of 27. Oh, what a sweet racket there
must be in heaven, baby. - Happy Birthday, Russell. ♪ I'll show you paradise woman!!! - ♪ - Dadgummit! (phone ringing) This is Alberta. What do you mean the
meeting's been changed? This is the third time you've
done this without telling me. Well, it's when? Now? Fudge sticks! Just tell him to hold
on, I'll be right there. No, no, no, don't you
dare go in my place. You don't know the
project like I do, Julio. Julio?! Oh, you brown nosing piece of shingle! (music) Where is it? Ugh, I hate this fricking job! - [Radio Voice] Russell
hated mornings, always had. Long before his ascent from folk clubs to Fillmore's East and West, and all the psychedelic
joints he'd played in between. Fact is, unless he was puking
up peyote in the desert while hallucinating coyote gods, Russell pretty much didn't
like daytime at all. - Son of a! - [Radio Voi
ce] Now years ago, Russell might have freaked out waking up in some unknown
place next to a stranger, having no memory as to how he got there. But after a few tours, this
became a regular occurrence, kind of like Russell's morning ritual. He'd just go with the flow. In the past, if Russell had seen a
groupie as unglued as this, he'd have given her his famous smile and helped her right through her bad trip. But after that crazy stalker
had come on the scene, he was fearful. It wasn't all just pea
ce and love, grass and microdots anymore. Now there were chicks high on angel dust who wanted to carve
swastikas into your forehead, Manson family style while you slept. (sighing) - That's the last time I mix
creme de menthe with mescaline. Still got it. (upbeat music) ♪ Get in my groovy
technicolor Volkswagen van ♪ ♪ I'll take you to paradise ♪ - What is this? - Whoa. Hey girl. Glad you've mellowed out. What's for dinner? - I just turned you off. - Uh, foxy lady, to the
contrary, you turn me on
. - What? - You blew my mind last night,
girl, among other things. Oh, it looks like you're
flipping the switch right now. - Oh boy. - Okay, where are the cameras? I swear I put them here. You're solid. - Uh yeah babe, I'm as hard as a rock. - Okay, who the heck are you
and what are you doing here? Wait, is that my robe? Did Julio hack into my computer and send you to mess with me? If so, I will shove my
foot right up his arse. - You got spunk, I like that. - Oh wait, did my mom send
you to make
me feel better? What are you, like a
celebrity impersonator, a singing telegram, what? Don't even. My avatar! Oh my gosh. - Your abattoir? Man, you're one far out chick. - [Radio Voice] Russell didn't know what in the Maharajah's
name she was talking about. If she was like most groupies, she was way out in Ruby Tuesday land. - So again, what's for dinner? - You eat? Oh um, how fascinating, I um. Okay, I um, I don't really cook. - Come on, chicks dig
doing stuff like that. - What? (music) (beepi
ng) - Oh! - Okay, it's a microwave. Here you go. You can eat it. What? - This uh, astronaut food
um, kind of interesting. - Oh, they're um, called chicken nuggets. - [Russell] Well, they
taste like Play-Doh smells, so you're better off not having any. Besides, you could stand to
lose a few pounds anyway. - What? - [Russell] I'm not saying
you're fat or anything because damn woman, your body felt pretty
fucking good last night. - Gosh, you are so warm. - I'm hotter than Ravi
Shankar's ass on a ta
bla. - Huh. - Ow! - Gosh. - Stop it, stop it. - Where did you come from? - Now that's the universal
question, now isn't it? I feel like I haven't eaten in a century. - More like 50 years. - Huh. What else you got? - Okay, listen, can we just
go sit in the living room? I, I really need a glass of wine or three. You? Okay great, come on. Anyway, you're probably wondering my name. - [Russell] Uh, not exactly, but you can tell me if it'll
make you feel more relaxed. You know, we'll be flying
united
tonight again. - I get it. Um anyway, my name is Alberta and. - Huh, that's kind of old fashioned. I'm used to groupies with names
like Daffodil or Mary Juana, but that's cool, you know? I dig you. - Flattered kind of, but I am no groupie. I am a computer programmer and I- - A what? - Oh yes, of course, so I develop code, which is going to go over your head too, but basically I made your avatar. - [Russell] Here you go again. Can't we just enjoy the evening? Here, I'm giving you my
glass so you
can wash it or keep it as a souvenir or something. I don't know what you girls
do with these kinds of things. - What? That was my idea, bung hole. - When you're done, lover,
I'll be in bed waiting patiently. - I probably should
research your capabilities. (music) Yeah? - Yeah. - Listen um, I just, I need to take a quick shower because I didn't have time this morning. - So? - Really, I must reek. - It's the Seventies for fuck's sake. - Oh Russell, no, no, no, not really, no. You should know that.
- Look, we're all children of the earth like that Rousseau cat said, so let's cut the square bullshit
and let it all hang out, my sweet Albania. (giggling) Uh, Alberta - What? (giggling) ♪ Cheek to cheek, hip to hip ♪ ♪ Beak to beaker, trip to trip ♪ ♪ I'm a furry freak ♪ ("Furry Freak" by Russell Aquarius plays) (upbeat rock music) (upbeat rock music) - Oh my gosh. - [Russell] Damn, my lady. I've been with too many
strung out Twiggy chicks. - What, so what are you saying? You like my chub? - Y
ou got the body of a goddess. - I do? - Uh-huh. Hey, when you're done in there, be a doll and make me
something to eat, would you? (intense music) - What? - Do you need something? - Are you holding? - What? - I'm jonesing, man. - Oh yes, rockstar, got it. Oh Russell, you will love this. Would you believe that
cannabis is legal now? I get this delivered. - [Russell] What, grass is straight? I must've died and gone to heaven. - [Alberta] Maybe you have, but some states require a doctor's note, whi
ch is a joke because
nearly everyone has one. I mean, even my Nana has one, had one. - Hello, earth to Alfresco. - Sorry. This is Hindu Kush, it's the best. - This is just candy. - Oh no, no, no, they're pot gummies. - Groovy, give those yummy gummies to me. - Oh Russell, no, those are way stronger
than you're used to. - Much better. Whoa, this is hitting
me faster than usual. - What? Fascinating. I guess I gotta research this. - [Russell] Right on, man. Yeah, this ain't no skunk weed. Nice and
sweet. Hey, what else you got? Shrooms, acid, ups, downs,
reds, black beauties, bennies, big chief, blow? - I got a box of fluff
balls in the kitchen. - Fluff balls? - Wow, I am really impressed. You can really handle your THC. If I had that many gummies, I would like probably be in the hospital. - Got anything else? What's with the look? Who died? - Well, look Russell, you did. - We never really die, man. Stardust is immortal, but if you're talking about the first time I played at Cafe Wha, oka
y yes, maybe I did
die up there that night, but the next night, I really killed it. - Russell, you were electrocuted
by a microphone in 1970. You were only 27 years old. - You're a real laugh riot. - No, no, no, I'm not joking. - Well, you ain't no Phyllis
Diller, tell you that. - No Russell, listen to me. My, my Nana was your biggest fan, she was even at your last concert. - Your Nana? Old farts, no offense, don't come to my shows,
except to bust them up. - Yeah, but she was, look, she was very
young back then
and very, very pretty, look. - [Russell] Ooh, did she
and I ever get it on? - No, she was married to my grandpa then. - [Russell] So? - I used to go to her house after school and we'd crank up the Aquarius. You. - Oh, Grammy loves my music, huh? That's cool, man, groovy. - Well, she did. She would have been your age. Well, the age you would have
been, if you hadn't, you know. - Well, maybe like these delicious snack
cakes, I'm just very well preserved. preserved. No. Actually, t
here was a beautiful
funeral for you and everything. All right, then, who
came to my funeral, hmm? Bill Burroughs, Vonnegut, was Plant there? Swear that bastard stole my lyrics. Look, you talk a good game, but I just don't believe you, Albatross. - Alberta. - [Russell] What? - Okay, look down. No, look at these concert tickets. Okay. Look at the date. - [Russell] The Stones are still touring. - Yes. - Now I know you're putting me on. - My Nana got me these,
hoping I'd actually go. Okay here, loo
k at this. - What is that thing anyways? - [Alberta] It's an iPhone. - Does everyone have those
things in your supposed future? - Some people, like my mom, have Androids. And my Uncle Spock has a phaser - Okay, check it out. You're on a behind the
music show on YouTube, - My Tube? - It's the Russell Aquarius episode, it starts with footage from
your last concert, look. ♪ I'll show you paradise, wo-ma -♪ who have died on stage,
much to the shock of fans. ♪ I'll show you paradise ♪ (shocking) (scr
eaming) (electricity buzzing) - [Radio Voice] When we return, we'll talk with Robert Plant, who remembers Russell's tragic
decline into drug addiction on Aquarius Rises and Falls. (shouting) - It just makes me want
to trash a hotel room! - Russell, I'm sorry, I forgot. - No babe, let's ball later, all right? God, right know I could use a stiff drink. - Oh. Russell I'm sorry. I swear I wasn't trying
to bum you out earlier. It's just, I don't know. My therapist says I got to work
on my interperson
al skills, which she's probably right, but like, look, if I was
you. I'd want to know too. I just, I just thought you need to
know what happened to you, that's all. - I think uh, I'm having a bad trip. - No, no Russ, you're a hundred percent
not having a bad trip, 'cause look, Russell, I made you. - What do you mean, you made me? - Yeah, I made you, like I developed your
code, which caused you to. - God, enough with the freak jive! - Okay, hold on, let me show you. I want to show you something.
Look at this Russell. This right here, this is you. This is the you I made
after my Nana passed away. - That doesn't even look like me! - We used to dance to
"Furry Freak" so much. God, "Furry Freak." We even wore down the
grooves on your record. (sobbing) Thank you. This is your set list. You could get a lot of money
for that on eBay, really? - E-Bay? - Yep. and now I'm a part of a
development team at MuziTech, after working on my own coding for years and now I'm a part of a
development team at
MuziTech, a supposedly cutting edge company, but they're so far behind the
times, it's not even funny. To say nothing of all the ding holes, they're trying to make me look bad, just 'cause I'm a GD woman, but hey, it's the first
job since grad school that I've been able to
use my AI training, so. - [Russell] Artificial insemination. - You would. Artificial intelligence. - God, sounds like my
first guitar teacher, always pretending he was so smart. - Gosh, I thought I had
this all figured out, t
hen I, I guess I jacked the
algorithms, it blew a fuse. - No, okay, whoever you
are and whoever you blew, doesn't matter, okay? Just stop this talk. Oh, Christ, it's like an
Altamont all over again and I'm bumming on the brown tabs. - Russell, you're so cute, I'm sorry. It's just, come here, come here. - [Russell] What? - Put your foot on the
table, your right foot. - [Russell] What? - [Alberta] Do you see that right there? That's me, that is my
signature on your foot. A for Alberta, you are my
avatar. - [Russell] No man, that's A for Aquarius! I got this tattoo when, when. Oh man, I don't remember! (intense music) (intense music) (intense music) (intense music) - What, are you kidding me? - What are you saying, babe? - That dill weed, taking
credit for my work. - Put that stupid phaser away. - I'm sorry, it's just that
this Dingus at my office is trying to steal my
code and get me fired. Dagnabbit. - You were saying
something about our lives being part of one huge,
what did you call i
t? Avatar? - No, that's not exactly what I said/ - Woman. - What? - You wouldn't believe
the vision I just had. I'm being born and I see
my whole life and my death, right here in the palm of your hand. At least the way I will die, if I don't expand my consciousness pronto. God, it's clear as a fuck bell now. If I don't get my shit together, the heavens are gonna
rain down upon me, bam, with a thunderbolt. - [Alberta] Like this? Russell, I don't mean to be mean, but you were electrocuted by a mic
rophone. - Wow. Good metaphor. - No, like I said, in 1970. (mumbling) (upbeat electronic music) (upbeat electronic music) (upbeat electronic music) Wha? Are you okay? - I just experienced pure
cosmic cautiousness, man. - Russell. - Alpha to mother loving Omega. - Oh my gosh. - There are no words to describe this. It's like I was born and
reborn in a blink of an eye. It's too much, it's too
fucking beautiful, man. The whole freak out amigo, comprende? Oh dammit, I fucked my mind for good. I'm gon
na be a headcase like Syd Barrett. Don't you see woman, Knowing what I now know, I can never go back to this
illusion you call the real world ever again, huh? And I'm never going to go
back on stage ever again, only to be killed by heaven's wrath! - [Alberta] Okay, okay, everything is going to be all right, okay? Come on man, seriously? It's so freaking late. Dude, you're all worried
about the real world. You're not even real. - Oh, like that's supposed
to make me feel any better. If you're some
benevolent
spirit from the future, your bedside manner is the shits. - [Alberta] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That was very mean of me. I need sleep and you need sleep
and it's time for bed, okay? - Don't get me all wrong, you're all like va va voom, baby, but I do not feel like balling right now. - I'm talking about getting
sleep, not sex, you jerk. Look, in the morning, you can look at your notes and work your Russell
Aquarius magic on them, okay? If you're still here. - I do have an idea for a song
cycle. - That's the spirit. Okay, come on. - And maybe after that, you can give me one of your sexy jerks. - Something like that, maybe. Okay yeah, but listen, first sleep, okay? - But wait, I'm gonna need
like an instrument or something or like a guitar or a piano or shit, might even a sitar would do. - How about a nice tambourine? - Like some chick on the
sidelines, or Robert Plant. No way, Alfalfa. - Alberta. - What? - Come on, Russ. - [Russell] What? - Lay down. - Why? - [Alberta] Look, I w
ill get you whenever
you need tomorrow, okay? Just please, come on, get some sleep. - No, I don't wanna go to bed. - [Alberta] Yes and in the meantime, I'll try to make some tweaks to your code, so you won't feel so sad. - Enough of this freak talk. How chauvinistic. (subtle music) (subtle rock music) (subtle rock music) - [Russell] Hey, where
are you going, Albacore? - It's Alberta. - Oh, is that what you call yourself now? - It is, and I am going to work. - What is it you do again for work? Se
cretary, waitress? - I am an augmented
reality systems analyst and programming department head. - Yeah. - Classic. Okay, I've got to get to the office. There's a fresh pot of coffee
in the kitchen for you. - No man, coffee's for squares. You got any like Echinacea
and rose hips tea? - And I'm the square. Oh, I really, really,
really want to get a guitar. - Yes. - It's a little late, so
manage your expectations, but I'll see if I can
get same day delivery. - [Russell] Just split over
to McCabe's
Music, man. Pick one up. - I can't, I mean, first
there's LA traffic, which, could you believe
is even worse now? - No fucking way. - [Alberta] Yeah, but the real reason is, and I might as well just tell you, is that I have this condition where. - What's for dinner? - Thanks for listening. - You're welcome. - As far as dinners go and the copious amounts
of food you consume, any special requests? - I don't know, just no
space age cubes again. - How about Chinese? - [Russell] Chinese would be grea
t. Mao's one far out cat and I
love that Hop Sing Bonanza dude. - Yikes, I have really
got to get you acclimated to the PC era of today,
which should go horribly, but I've got to go. - Wait, let me walk you
to the door, my lady. - [Alberta] No, no Russell. - Never let it be said that Russell Aquarius
is not a gallant man. - Russell no, no, no. Russell, Russell, no! - What just happened? - You just pixelated. - What? - Russell, Russell, I cannot
deal with this right now. I have to go to work and
I cannot be late. You, you do not leave the
apartment, it will kill you. - But haven't you been
saying I'm already dead? Look, look, I'm going
back to bed before I, how do you say it, Pixie late? - Thank you. - Ah fuck it, let's try this trip again. - No, Russell no! It's the San Fernando Valley! - Valley? Ugh, I fucking hate mornings. - What am I doing? - [Radio Voice] Once
Russell hit the pillow, he wasn't light-headed anymore, but he still couldn't sleep, not with the flashbacks
from the mind
fuck trip he'd taken the night before and he couldn't get out of his head, the image of that foxy Alberta girl, holding that glowing gizmo that recorded his own life and death. How long had he been hold up? A couple of nights, weeks? It didn't matter. He trusted his intuition his whole life and that had brought him
fame, fortune, and sex, without all the annoying
perspective and soul searching. He'd scored with hundreds of women, single, married, transsexual, lesbian, and acquired some bitching
cars along the way. His instincts told him to stay inside and away from the never-ending circus of groupies and freaks that were surely hanging
around this place. Here, he can mellow
after that Gettysburg gig and do some writing, lots of it. - Where's that masterpiece
I wrote last night? Ha, found it. Oh, this is heavy. I died and my soul got chucked
inside a pint-size computer cell phones, dial tones
of higher consciousness, minds blown in the digital sky. I am the divine and carnal avatar, de
ath foretold, a palm
robot to the priestess. This is the most far out shit ever, woo! Eat your heart out, Dylan. Oh, and Morrison? Go suck yourself. (laughter) (upbeat rock music) Gunta! Russell calling Gunta. Calling Gunta, come in Gunta. How'd that wench get
this do hickey to work? (phone ringing) - [Merrick] Hello? Alberta? Are you there, or did
you just butt dial me? (knocking) - [Helen] Yoo hoo, Alberta? I need to talk to you about
the racket last night. - Go away. (knocking) I said, go awa
y. You do not want to anger my Android. - [Merrick] Who is this? (upbeat music) - Russell. - What, what? Oh, hey uh, babe. - You still don't remember my name? Anyway, I was able to
get same day delivery on a guitar for you. This guitar, I smashed one of these
on stage at the Avalon. Forgive me my lovely, for
I know not what I did. - Oh wait, wait, wait, is that
the Avalon concert in 1967? Russ, I have that concert on Blu Ray. You were amazing in it, seriously. Hey, do you think you could play
a
little "Acid Rain" for me? Please? - If you knew about me as
much as you said you did, my chubby little witch, you would know that I will
not play that song anymore. - I'm sorry, jeez I
-wait a second - chubby? Pardonne-moi. Zaftig You know I like the cushion. Don't be so uptight, woman. - Oh Russ, I forgot to tell you, I got you some pics and a kit, so you can plug into my laptop. You can even upload your songs
and store them in the cloud. - Slow down, slow down. It's like you're speaking from
the Tibetan Book of the Dead in Greek. And what's
what's the pajamas anyways? Does everybody go to work like that now? - Oh um, yeah, you'd be surprised, but actually, I don't leave
the apartment building. - You mean you were here all day? Could have used a break
a little bit earlier. - Well, I mean, I wasn't
really here, here. - Come again? - Well, I telecommute. Eight hours a day, five days a week, I work in my virtual office. - What? - Basically, I just rent
a room upstairs for work because I
, I can't leave
the apartment building. - Why not? - It's like, it's kind
of embarrassing actually, but I'm agoraphobic. - Yeah. I'm Angora-phobic
too, I'm terrified of rabbits. One time, this giant rabbit chase me
from the Whiskey a Go Go all the way to the Avalon Ballroom. - I appreciate the sentiment,
but no, it's agoraphobic, it's a little different, it's where someone is
afraid to go outside. It's like horrifying. Anyway, I am working on getting better. I have this online therapist and she
has me leave for work every day. She also says I'm really negative and I have to work on that too, which is why I can't
use cuss words anymore. - No shit. - Yeah, but you want to know what gets me through most days, Russell? Do you know that song
lyric that you wrote, F-E-A-R, face everything and rise? - I wrote that? Must've been an outtake. - And so now, I go
upstairs to what used to be the tenant's business communal center and I never have to leave the building. Anyway, that's why I had
your
stuff delivered. - Fascinating. Hey Alpaca, is that food I smell? - And now back to the Russell Show. - I have a show? - Food is in the kitchen
where it belongs, okay? Not on the floor where
you keep apples, I guess. - I hope it's not chicken nuggets again. - It's Chinese, remember? - No, Holy Christ on crutches,
babe, I'm still tripping. My memory is like Swiss
cheese...without the cheese. - Look, I've got you a
nice, cute little outfit that I think you're going
to be very happy with. Why don't
you go get dressed? - Maybe. - So do you like the guitar? - Oh, love it, babe. Thank you. - That's the first time you've
ever said thank you to me. - I want to play you some of
the songs I've been writing, I've been at it all day, you know? I'm like that Mad Monk
Rasputin, I'm unstoppable. Even that old bat who
told me to keep it down ain't going ruin my flow. - [Alberta] Oh no, was it Helen? - Just some square trying to kill my buzz. Why, who's Helen? - Oh gosh, she's my nosy landlord. She liv
es right below us. She's always asking about
every guy I bring over. - Every guy? - I had a boyfriend once. - Good thing I don't do old broads. - Maybe you should. You know, Helen's not much older than the age you would be now. - What's your point? - That you don't always
have to date young women. - [Russell] Well my point is that no one's going to stop me from completing my Opus, Gesamptkunstwerk. I'm just a machine, like that little robot thing
you play with all the time. You left it here this
morning, you know? - Oh, my phone? Yeah, I'm kinda trying to wean myself. It's like my pacifier, especially
since my Nana passed away. Wait a second, you didn't
touch my phone, did you? - Well, of course I did, I've got a, what do you call it? Curious nature. - Where is it? - [Russell] Just mellow, woman. Your Android is fine. The dude I talked to said your
butt calls him all the time. How do you do that, babe? - Who did you talk to? - He said you usually hang up on him. I'm thinking um Eric, n
o Derrick. Yes, Derek like Derek and the Dominoes. - Merrick, you talked to Merrick? - That's the one. He said he was surprised he was still on, how do you say, speed dial
since you two broke up and all. - [Alberta] You talked to my ex, oh my gosh, about what? - [Russell] Relax, he explained
the whole situation to me, okay? But I told him to leave you alone because you're my old lady now. - I am? - [Russell] I got to get
this concept album done, then I'm back on tour
and once that happens. - [Al
berta] Wait a second, you said you weren't
getting on stage anymore. - I'm going to play a song I
wrote just for you, Albino. - Close enough. ♪ She carries the sun in
the palm of her hand ♪ ♪ My priestess and my soul are one ♪ ♪ A flash of white light,
our future tonight ♪ ♪ Her beauty here is second to none ♪ ♪ Erato, my muse ♪ ♪ You're blowing my fuse ♪ ♪ And not like the time that I died ♪ ♪ So don't say you'll ever go ♪ ♪ Unless you mean with the flow ♪ ♪ Oh, my dark sweet Albino ♪ I meant t
hat part, you know
about being my muse, man and I think I'm going to stick around until I get my head together. Not that I care but, how
old did you say you were? - It's not polite to ask
a woman her age, you know? - Yeah, but you know,
you're not jail bait, right? - No, I'm a consenting
adult, don't you worry. - Um, you never grew any uh, bush. - Oh my God. - What? - Yes, of course I did,
I just shave it off. - What the hell for? - I shave my pits too. - Oh, not so furry freaky,
but still freak
y deaky. - Yeah, I guess. A lot of woman are hairless
now, you know that? - Like a chihuahua? - Ew, yeah though. You know, and a lot of guys,
they sport bearded dragons. - Bearded dragons? - No. No more cuddle time, I take it? - Oh come on Albion, you're
not being constructive. I just have to release my sex mojo so that I can get back to writing. - Okay. Well, two can play that game. - What are you doing? - I'm just trying to
make sense of all this because if you are
connected to the avatar, the
n there's gotta be a way to save you. - Save me? Don't lay that holy roller crap on me. - I mean to store you and back
you up so I don't lose you. - Wait, you're going to store me away? - Not for long, okay? I just can't have you roaming around 24/7, making messes and getting
bored when I'm away at work. - You are being so uptight right now. - Russell, it'll be
just like you're asleep. You love sleep and then I'll make sure you remember all of your music and writings and stuff. - You're one smar
t cookie
with the sweetest ass. Ablucia. I want to get to know you, you know? I dig you, I wanna find
out what makes you tick. - What would you like to know about me? - And then later my sweet lady, I want to take these legs that
are just made to be spread and screw you silly, even if
you are bald, like Mr. Clean. - Oh my God, again, really? Okay, but first I want to clean this code. - When you're done cleaning,
can you grab me a beer? Ow. What are you some kind of Women's Libber? - Yes, as a ma
tter of fact, I am. - All right, darling,
power to the lady people, burn those bras, or I don't know, use your
minds and do men stuff. (phone buzzing) - Be quiet. Hey mom. - [Tawny] Hey honey. Oh, sounds like Nana's records. - Yeah, is it too loud? I could tell him to, I
mean, I could turn it off. - That's okay, I can still hear you. You and Nana were such the Aquarius fans. I always thought that was kind of strange for a girl your age. I mean, why couldn't you
listen to some decent music, like
Motley Crue or even Stryper? - I know mom, you tell me
this all the time, okay? But listen, now is not a good time, it's, it's kind of crazy around here. - Crazy? - Ssh! - [Tawny] Did you just shush
me, Alberta Renee Stevens? - Russell! Mom, I got to go. Russell! Where are you? - At your service. - [Alberta] Oh my gosh! (music) (music) - Stop it, please. - What? - All this computer stuff,
you're working all the time. - That's what everybody does now. - Well, I thought you hated your job. - I do,
but I love my work. - Well, you're wasting
your time, Albuprion. You can't change me and
sure as hell can't save me. - [Alberta] Russell, I am not
trying to change who you are and I'm definitely not
trying to save your soul. It's a little late for that anyway, but I am trying to save you, okay? You as a corporeal being. Don't you get it? I'm trying to save the genius who died in the creative
prime of his life. Like if I were to shut you
down right now, I would, I mean the whole world would lose
you and all of your creative potential. What happens if the power goes out for more than just a couple of seconds? Poof, gone. - Well, that sounds like a bowl of fuck. Why don't just buy another
Russell Aquarius avatar? - Oh, heck no, no. This avatar is mine. I made it from scratch, okay? Yeah, there's some sneaky
crap coders out there who make cheapo rockstar
avatars, but no, not you, baby. I made you because I can program the stuffing out of those jerks. Come here, I'll show you, look at this
. Look at this, pathetic. Some yokel from New Jersey has created his own
Russell Aquarius avatar, oh and he's got a Robert Plant too. - Fucking Percy Plant. Hey, whatever happened to him anyway? - Robert Plant? Oh, he wrote a song a year after you died, Stairway to Heaven and there were rumors that it was - You know what? Nevermind. He is not worth getting
you worked up over. - It's not about him, okay? I'm just bummed, cause this dude I was
talking to on your robot said it'd be a dark day for m
e. - What, who, Merrick? - No, some young cat. I think his name was Poulio or. - Julio? You talked to Julio? - I was trying to call
Gunta, my astrologer. - Oh my gosh, of all people, this could get me fired, Russell. - [Russell] I said mellow, woman. You know astrology is only
for entertainment purposes. - No, okay? Julio is not an astrologer,
he's a programmer like me. - Oh, so Mercury is not in retro grade? - [Alberta] No, I mean,
I don't know, maybe, but the point is, Julio
knows you're alive
now. - Make up your mind, woman. Am I alive, or did I die in 1970? - Russell, if anyone from MuziTech finds out that I finished you, they'll think that you are
a part of their project and they'll take you away from me, get it? - You mean you were hired to make me? I thought you loved my, my music. You've been lying to me? - Russell, I love you. I mean, I love your music and right now, that's the only thing that
I have left of my Nana. - I'm sorry about your grandma. I lost my family too
when I
was real little, then I was raised by
a toothless bitty hag. - What? No, no, that was Mick Jagger and that's not even the right lyrics. - Fucking Mick Jagger stole that from me? - Russell, I do know
all about your childhood and I am a real fan, so when they hired me to
make celebrity avatars, I had a ton of projects at the same time, but I wanted to keep you all to myself. I never worked on you ever,
during company time, never and my coding is my own. - You made me to perfection. - I think so to
o. I told them at work that
the experiment failed because I couldn't bear the thought of you being mass produced. - Everything will be okay. That Julio guy predicted though. - Okay, hold up. Did he find out who you were? - Negative. - You're sure? - I really need a tape recorder, babe. I've got some trippy
ideas I want to lay down. - Okay, well you could use my phone, but I'm taking it with me
to work in the morning. - You mean upstairs? - Don't make fun. - [Russell] Okay I won't,
but I don't wa
nt your phone. I need to record now though, woman, now! I never know when I'll
be struck full blown by the hand of Zeus and all
my ideas go split into my head like a bloody pinata! - [Alberta] Okay, okay. I think I have an old handheld
laying around here somewhere. - [Russell] How's about we ball first, hm? - Okay, there you go. - How does this pipsqueak
connect to a reel-to-reel? - It doesn't, okay? It records and plays back all by itself. It's not as good as a computer, but that's a little
adv
anced for you anyway, Mr. Analog Man. - Advanced? I can light up a 16 track console with just a Mellotron with
both hands tied behind my back. - Okay, with this thing, ready? Two things, record, stop. There you go, I'm going to bed. I have to log into work's
database extra early now to make sure Julio doesn't know anything. Thank you for that. No! What are you doing? - Watching some mind blowing shit about the merging of man and machine. - And this? - Honestly, it's the bluest
stag film I've eve
r seen. - Russell, listen to me. I care about you, okay? You know that. I mean, beyond us hooking up, right? I just lost Nana, I lost Merrick. Well okay, I dumped him. I think he and Helen had a thing. - He told me he never bagged her, he said he really hates landowners. That's one cool Commie. - He said that? Anyhow, do not mess
around with my computer. - Oh come on, Aladdin, no more stag films? - No, no more stag films! Look, I can't risk that
you change something and everything that is you is
erased. - Everything? - Oh God, I need to figure out how to
upload every part of you, not just the foxholes
and the behavior tree. Look, I know you don't know
what I'm saying right now, but understand this, there's a big difference between you and the you on the screen, okay? Get up, move, move. I need to figure something out. Why does this look so freaking different? What the heck, what the heck? This is not my laptop. Where did you get this? - Some repairman came by the door, he said you call
ed to come pick it up, he left you this loner. - What do you mean some repairman? - He was wearing like a square outfit, coveralls with some music thingy. - Music thingy, did it say MuziTech? - Probably, he was some young cat. - Okay, what did he look like? Did he have black hair, glasses? Looked like a Latino Seth Rogen, what? - Seth who? - Like, like Woody Allen, glasses? - Uh yeah, probably, I don't. - Dangit! God, I can't believe you let him in here. That was Julio! - The astrology dude? - O
h my God, I feel
like I'm gonna be sick. I feel sick. - You feel sick? So do I. I feel so tired. I'm sporting a bearded dragon now myself. - Russell, Russell, Russell, focus, okay? Okay, when did Julio come by? - You're obsessed with that guy. - Oh my gosh, I don't know how much
backup charge you have left. - Clock watching is for the suits. - Oh my God, they've locked me out. - Oh, head rush. - Russell! Russell, Russell, stay still, okay? You need to save your energy. Oh my God, let's get you t
o the bedroom. Oh God. Okay, gosh this Jersey avatar sucks, but it's better than nothing. Give me your hand. Russell, listen to me, okay? You've got to keep the computer going. You have to keep the avatar animated. Yes, perfect, just like that, okay? - Alabama, I want to see the
Jersey shore before I die. - Russell, Russell, listen to me, okay? You've got to keep this thing alive, okay? And I've got to get my computer back. Russell, wake up! Wake up, okay? I've got to go to Muzi-Tech! - Albumen,
no, the
Angoras are gonna get you. - I've gotta do it. - Don't take the Lincoln. - Face everything and rise. Okay. Nope, nope. - [Radio Voice] Russell's
head started to spin like a spaceship at zero gravity and his face burned like
Napalm at high noon, his body shook like an Elvis
the Pelvis with Parkinson's on a trampoline. - This can't be the end. No, I was resurrected because the children of
Aquarius are all avatars now and I am their electric messiah! (grunting) Or maybe I only came back be
cause Altadena needed to get laid. That's as good a reason as any, - Stay with me! Okay. Oh, Russell. - Hey. - Thank God Julio did not get
through my N-A-N-A encryption. - Hey, are you okay, Alaska? - Yeah, you should see the other guy. (subtle rock music) - I really need to talk to Siddy. - Siddy? Oh, your old manager. Why? - Because there's this line that didn't end up making
it on "Scorpio's Mantra" and I need the exact lyric. I had the perfect number of
"ever and ever and evers" and I just c
an't remember
if it was three or four. - Ouch. Um, even if Siddy were still alive, what makes you think that
he'd have your lyric? - Siddy would have them. I gave him copies of everything before I left for
Gettysburg for safekeeping. - Thank you. Copies, why? - Because of Crazy Dallas Chick and the fire that
destroyed my whole arsenal. - Crazy Dallas Chick, who's that? - I thought you knew everything about me. - Well, I know that your real name is Russ Clatterbottom. You had a pet frog named Jum
py. You were orphaned and your parents were nominated for the Darwin Award Hall of Fame and course I know about the fire, everybody knows about the fire, but I thought it was just an accident. - It's nice to keep a few secrets. We musicians call it the mystique. I'd like your robot to call Sid for me. - Oh, my cell phone, this
is called a cell phone. - Then give me the self phone. - Cell phone. - I don't want to buy it,
woman. I just want to borrow it. - [Alberta] Do you even have Sid's number?
- Uh, right in here. Please give it to me. - Wait. Okay, go. - It's ringing. - [Woman] Hello? - Uh, Sid please. - [Woman] Who? You have to speak up, young
man, I don't have my ears on. - Sid Greenblatt. This is his office, right? (laughter) - [Woman] Sidney,
someone's calling for you, thinks this is still your office. - [Sid] Greenblatt here, who's this? ♪ Cheek to cheek, hip to hip ♪ ♪ Beat to beat, girl, trip to trip ♪ ♪ I'm a furry freak ♪ - [Sid] Who IS this? - The real Aquarius, baby. - I'm
sorry, Mr. Greenblatt,
please don't hang up. My name is Alberta. - [Sid] Who? - Yeah, who? - I just want to say,
sir, I am a huge fan. I've read so much about you and it, it is an honor to talk to the man who is the brains behind the genius. - [Sid] Cut the Culver City circle jerk and just tell me what you want. - Yes, yes sir. Basically I'm, I'm an AI designer, a computer programmer, some say, and I created, well, you just heard him. He's the most realistic avatar ever made. - [Sid] What? - Oh
, I'm uh, how thoughtless of me, sir. An avatar is basically an image that- - [Sid] I know what a fucking avatar is. Do you know what FaceTime is? Put him on it for me, let me
see this creation of yours. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, what's FaceTime? - It's where you can talk
to people face to face. You know like, like the Jetsons, remember? - Wow. Hold on. - What are you doing? - Well, I stole this from him. - What? He looks perfect. - Thanks man. Hey, I need the original
lyrics to "Scorpio's Mantr
a," Could you bring those over? - Are you kidding? (laughter) I've gotta, I've gotta
see this for myself. - Well, here's the thing, Mr. Greenblatt. - [Sid] Call me Sid, doll. - Oh Sid, Sid, well this avatar is not like any you've ever seen before. I mean, this Russell is
like flesh, blood, and bone. - Oh, especially bone, right babe? - [Sid] All right, all right, well Missy, bring him over here. - Oh no, no, no, I'm so sorry. I wish I could, but I mean, if he even tries to leave the apartment, h
e, it's just, it's just not possible. - [Sid] No problemo, I've
still got my '66 Buick. Remember that ad, Russ? The Door's made bank, but not you. No, you never wanted to be a sellout and I never got what I deserved. - Listen here, Siddy. - I live in Van Nuys, right off the 101. - I'm sorry to hear that. Text your deets, doll
and I'll be there in 20. (upbeat rock music) I don't believe it, you're real! - In the flesh. - It can't be you. - [Russell] It is me! - What? Oh my God. Clatterbottom, I c
an't believe it! - Okay, I'm going to
record this, is that okay? - Yes, please do. - Check this out. (upbeat guitar music) ♪ Take a dive into the
universal mind, with me, man ♪ ♪ Ions digging ethers, it's
a groovy cybernetic machine ♪ ♪ Split this mother ship ♪ ♪ And we'll sail upon
the astral seas, baby ♪ ♪ 69 dimensions every second,
it's the ultimate scene ♪ ♪ What killed me made me stronger ♪ ♪ And I traded blood
for circuits of lead ♪ ♪ So shed your bones and silicone ♪ ♪ Jump in the mainfr
ame instead ♪ - And that, that right there
was where the lyrics go. - Oh my God, that was
sweet, Clatterbottom. That was really sweet. - I know. You're the only one who
can call me Clatterbottom. - [Sid] Well you and Claudia are the only ones who could call me Siddy. - Oh, is Claudia your wife? - Yeah, my wife. For 50 years, she's my wife. - You're not talking about
Crazy Dallas Chick, are you? - Yes I am. - Are you fucking out of your mind? After what she did to me? - You should be thanking me
because I saved your life. - I did that. - [Russell] Oh, there you go Siddy, always trying to be the hero. I could have handled her,
I could have done it. - And you know what? There you go, Clatterbottom. You pseudo intellectual ingrate. You wouldn't even have been
alive to die at Gettysburg if it wasn't for me. If I wasn't babysitting you,
designing your album covers, making sure there were no god
damn green M & M's backstage. I was protecting you
against Crazy Dallas Chick, aka C.D.C., aka Cla
udia D.D. Cummings. - Yeah but. - [Sid] Yeah, but nothing. Do you remember in Houston
when you sang "Acid Rain" and she rushed the stage
with that battery acid, remember that? I lost my eye because of you. - Oh, that's why you
never played "Acid Rain" after the Houston show because of that Crazy Dallas Chick? - I took the ultimate bullet for you. I married her! All she does is talk about you. It's always Russell this, Russell that, driving crazy for 50 years. - I'm sorry, Siddy. Do you have the
lyrics? - Yeah, I got them right here. I saved everything. - It was four, it was four. Okay babe, do you have
the recorder set up? - Looks like it. - Okay. - Wow, you know, I know how to do this. All right, play. ♪ With our souls in the cloud ♪ ♪ We're gonna live forever
and ever and ever and ever ♪ - That's a record, I just put it onto a streaming on YouTube, Party Central, Snapchat, and Facebook. - [Alberta] Sid, I'm so sorry,
but this is not a good idea. - Wait, what are you talking about? I
know what I'm doing. Keep going. ♪ Thumb a ride into the
analog divide with me, man ♪ - That's great. - [Helen] Alberta, we need
to talk about the noise! - Just a minute, Helen. - [Alberta] Do you have a man in there? - No, I've got two. - [Helen] Two men?! You know that's against the rules. Three, there is another man out here. - Helen? - Let me in, you refuctoring bitch! - Oh my gosh, it's Julio. Get the frick away from my door, Julio. You're nothing but a Jimmy. ♪ Atomize the planet with your
shrouded code of mystery baby ♪ - [Sid] That's it
Clatterbottom, keep it coming. The world needs you now more than ever! - Russell, it's not time to
show you to the world yet. I have to save you online, remember? - This chunky chick isn't
going to save anyone. - [Russell] Hey, don't call her chunky. Alabaster is a goddess. - [Helen] Alberta, I'm coming in. - [Julio] Move out of the
way lady, let me in there! [Radio Voice] If Russell Aquarius was
to make his mark on the music scene
again, he'd n
eed a quiet place to - - No, Russell no! (electricity buzzing) - [Radio Voice] It's
only Russell Aquarius, but I like it, I like it, yes I do. - What? - What? What just happened? - [Alberta] I don't know. - Look! - Gosh, wait. Oh of course, look what you've done. He's in the computer. - [Sid] Look, Russell Aquarius a hundred million likes and followers and guess who owns the
rights to all of his music? - Wait, if Russell is in the computer, then where's Julio? - What are you doing
in my phone, y
oung man? ("Acid Rain" by Russell Aquarius plays) - [Man] These days, just about anyone can
make their own avatar. - Bull pucky, not just anyone. Hey Mom. - I'm watching the news. Nana would be so proud of you, honey. - Aw, you think so mom? Hey but listen, please I beg you, do not tell anyone that
I made Russell, okay? I'm not ready for people to know me yet. - Just do whatever feels right, hon. You know I'm behind you 100 percent. - Thank you, that really
means a lot to me, Mom. Hey but listen
, I've got company, okay? So can I talk to you later? - All right, love you. - [Alberta] Love you too, bye. - Ah, I just wish that I could figure out a way
to bring him back, you know? I mean, no offense. - It's cool, we all can't be rock stars, but I have been practicing. - Yeah? - How about a little
"Acid Rain" for my queen? All right. ♪ Acid rain, I don't know the words ♪ ♪ Acid rain, it's all I heard ♪ ♪ Acid rain, but I made you smile ♪ ♪ Acid rain ♪ - For the love of God, Julio
and I are t
rying to sleep! - Sorry Helen. - Merrick I'm, gosh I feel so stupid. I'm just so sorry that I accused you for
sleeping with Helen. - Don't give it another thought. - I really am getting
better though, really. - I know you are. It took lady balls to
march over to MuziTech and then you kicked Julio's ass, what? - Yeah, well I'm just glad
that I'm out of that place, you know? Gosh, I took a major pay cut, but at least I'm my own boss, right? - But we gotta work on getting you out of this house more
often. Like maybe in disguise. We could cosplay at
Creature Con next week. - Oh my gosh. Hm, I don't know if I'm ready yet. Maybe I should just
design an avatar of myself and we could dress her up in a costume and you could take her. - No, 'cause I'd know
it wasn't the real you. - Oh, would you now? You know, I'm getting kinda
good at this avatar stuff. I mean, how do you know
that you're not an avatar I created for my own amusement? - Is it weird that I'm
freaked out and turned on at the same
time? Yeah. ♪ Acid rain ♪ ("The Never Ending Cosmic Tour"
by Russell Aquarius is played) - Oh Alberta! - Alabaster! Call me Alabaster! - Alabaster! (moaning) (rock music) - [Radio Voice] If Russell
Aquarius really is still alive, he will be turning 82 years old today. Russell, wherever you
are, happy birthday, baby. - [Alberta] I really miss you, you egomaniacal, slovenly, sexist jerk. (cheering) Nana. - All right, one more for you guys. I just wrote this song and I'm playing it live
for the fir
st time. It's called "Alberta." ♪ She carries the sun in
the palm of her hand ♪ ♪ My priestess and my soul are one ♪ ♪ My flash of bright
light, our future tonight ♪ ♪ Her beauty here is second to none ♪ ♪ Erato, my muse ♪ ♪ You're blowing my fuse ♪ ♪ And not like the time that I died ♪ ♪ So don't say you'll ever go ♪ ♪ Unless you mean with the flow ♪ ♪ Oh, my dark sweet Alberta ♪ ("The Never Ending Cosmic Tour"
by Russell Aquarius plays) - [Sal] Some historians claim that is nothing more
than l
ong lost footage that's turned up, or that singer/songwriter,
Russell Aquarius faked his own death just to
make a dramatic comeback. We posed this question
to computer experts, conspiracy theorists, fans, who are also known
as, Aquariologists, influencers, and musicians. Let's see what they have to say. - No way man. I was there when Russell was zapped. He died, like fatally. - I bought one of his authenticated
toothbrushes from E-bay and I sent it, along with a sample of
my own saliva to Gene-C
o, you know the result came back with .000002 that I am Russell Aquarius. - It's like Bruce Lee said, the key to immortality is living a life worth remembering. - It's a Russell Aquarius impersonator. People just want to believe. - Listen, I ran his new lyrics through my cyber kinetic algorithm tester and they came back with
a 99.9% probability that Russell himself wrote those songs. I mean besides, who else in the universe could come up with such brilliance as, "my tadpole's in a jar"? - My dad
dy was the festival director of that Aquarius fellow's
live show in Dallas and what I heard about that old boy, there was no way he'd be able to find his
way out of a paper sack, let alone the after life. - Okay so, there are
three schools of thought that I think are the most plausible. You've got the Mandela
Effect, you know, plausible. You've got government human
cloning, very possible, but when you get right down to it, there's really only one obvious
and probable explanation: aliens. - Yes,
I believe Russell
Aquarius is alive. - She also believes in
alien autopsies, Big Foot, and that Mount Rushmore is
a natural rock formation. - He IS alive. Look at the videos, he looks incredible. - It's called Deep Fake, my dear. - Well maybe it's a relative,
like, like Russell's grandson. - No way, no way. The drugs that that guy
did back in the day, he couldn't father a child
with somebody else's (beep), that's it. - Well, you heard it here first. - Ow, girl I don't care if he's an avatar, I'm
still gonna hit it. - [Russell] Do it!
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