I am a woman and all of this happened just after
I graduated from college and moved to France for work I didn't know the language and was working
night shifts at an International Hotel in one of the safest areas of the city I lived in one night
I had to borrow a car while mine was in the shop being repaired the only available replacement
car was a white van similar to the ones used for moving or by postal delivery drivers thinking
nothing of it I took it and made my way to work the night we
nt smoothly and nothing seemed to miss
however on my way home I saw flashing blue lights behind me since I lived in a safe area I assumed
that my van had a broken light or something minor it was odd for a replacement car but such things
happen I supposed I got pulled over just before a residential area meaning we were still in
darkness except for a distant Street Lamp as a new driver eager to obey the law I rolled down
my window fully and took out my driving license while I waited for the p
olice officer to approach
however the man who came up to me was wearing civilian clothing I assumed he was an officer
out of uniform and greeted him politely the man seemed surprised to see me and didn't identify
himself a huge red flag I know but back then I was naive and stupid he said something in French
but unfortunately I didn't understand so I asked if he knew English He repeated himself and asked
where I was headed I assumed this was a standard question and replied that I was heading
home he
then asked where I lived and seemed even more surprised when I told him as I lived quite far
from my workplace he also asked about my workplace seeming a little nervous I answered thinking I
was complying with the law the whole interaction didn't even take 2 minutes so of course I I didn't
think his questions were inappropriate he didn't ask to see my license and fell silent for a moment
before poking his head through my driver's window and looking behind me at the empty van he see
med
unsettled by the lack of discovery of anything suspicious and told me to go home on my ride back
I thought he might have been an undercover cop looking for a similar looking car and thought he
had found it this situation seemed normal to me for a while and I thought nothing of it until
one day I was telling my co-workers about my experience and laughing they stared at me dead in
the eye and told me that white Vans were usually used by prostitutes who offered their services in
the back
the man who stopped me might have been a cop but he might also have been a man pretending
to be a cop seeking to take advantage of a sex worker however when he saw that I didn't speak
any french and didn't match the usual description of one he took a peak into my van to double check
seeing that it was empty and devoid of a mattress he backed off needless to say I was terrified
he could have been a cop but I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he wasn't
and really did want t
o take advantage of some poor girl I no longer opened my windows entirely when
pulled over and I make sure the person stopping me is actually a police officer before engaging
in conversation and I no longer drive a white van when I was in high school I discovered a
stolen car which I reported to the police and it could have led to something worse every day when
I got home from school I would head upstairs and use the bathroom up there since my room was up
there as well being on the second f
loor I never had a shade or curtain on this bathroom window
it was a routine I would just do without giving it much thought I would go up do my business and
glance out the window from the window I could see the backyard and over our fence to a parking
lot of some nearby apartments one day when I happened to glance out the window I noticed a car
sitting at the far end of the parking lot with the driver's side window down this was odd to me as
it had just snowed heavily the night before and t
he snow covered the car completely except for the
open window I laughed to myself thinking maybe it was just an older car and the window was either
broken or did not work or someone who parked it there might have been drunk and forgot to roll it
up many thoughts went through my mind about all the possible reasons it would be wide open like
that during winter I eventually put it out of my mind after several days I noticed the car had
not moved and the window was still open I sensed something
was off and I had the idea the car had
been stolen and dumped there deciding to be a Good Samaritan I wrote down the make model and license
plate number and brought it to my high school police liaison officer the office of the liaison
officer was nothing more than a custodian's closet with a window door the window had been covered in
Black construction paper for the privacy of the students or staff that needed to discuss matters
with the officer when I brought the information about the car
to him I remembered having to wait
as he was in some meeting with a student at the time and did not answer my knocks I had to go to
class so I handed the information off to a friend who said they could get it to the officer later
later that day I was called to the foyer and was met by the liaison officer and a uniformed officer
it turned out the car was reported had stolen and the uniformed officer was there so that I could
go with him to show him where the car was I was excused from schoo
l and rode with the officer
to my neighborhood and showed him the car after filling out my information with the officer I
was then brought back to school by the police liaison officer who met up with us later this is
when things could have gone bad for me for some background context I will tell you that I always
had some suspicions about this liaison officer well before I brought the stolen car information
in I witnessed the schools officer being overly friendly with students and many liked
him and
joked around with him he would say things like if you went camping and you woke up with your
but hurting would you tell anyone at this and other so-called jokes students who really liked
him would laugh it off like he was just one of the guys joking around and having a good time even
if the jokes were inappropriate I just felt there was something off about him since many students
liked him and seemed to vouch for him I Shrugged It Off so what do you have planned this weekend
he ha
d asked me when driving me back to school I remember being nervous as I am usually a shy
person and I gave him a serious but ridiculous answer I told him I was getting an oil change
done on my car he laughed at this and said I must have more fun things planned other than that
I laughed too but didn't really have plans that weekend and did not elaborate he then offered to
buy me lunch from a fast food place a block away from school many high schoolers like to flock
to when they have off-camp
us lunch at the time I thought it was maybe some kind of reward for
finding the stolen car and Reporting it I think he was trying to groom me with the offer of food
and being friendly that day several months after reporting the car news broke out that the liaison
officer had been caught sexually abusing a couple of male students on campus word had gotten out
that he paid the students to do sexual acts and that there were VHS tapes involved I heard he had
tried to hand over the evidence to h
is brother to destroy it but his brother looked at one of
the tapes and immediately turned him over to the authorities regardless of the facts he was
found guilty of several counts of sexual abuse and sentenced to prison my instincts of being
suspicious of him were right thinking back on the car ride to school with him I can't help but
think he could have done something to me what if he did try something and I refused would he have
threatened to arrest me for something blame the stolen car
on me forced me to do something at
gunpoint the black construction paper over the window of his office door might have been put
up to hide the criminal acts happening on the other side in any case I am glad that nothing
happened to me I feel bad for the students who were abused and hope they are doing okay these
days this goes to show that sometimes you never really know a person and sometimes people that
are supposed to protect you are not as they seem this incident occurred when I was abo
ut 13 or 14
years old I grew up in a town with many walking and biking trails as well as a forest area about
a 10-minute walk from my house so I spent a lot of time Outdoors one of my best friends whom I'll
call Anthony lived in the neighborhood across from mine I often walk to his house to knock
on his door and see if he wanted to join me in aimlessly biking around town on this particular
day he decided to to join me and we went down to the local Lake a highly popular spot during the
summ
er that's never empty there's a trail right next to the local library which leads to the lake
we decided to hang out by the trail entrance as it was right next to a tunnel that runs under
the street above providing good shade and amplification for listening to music together from
our iPods this tunnel is probably about 20 ft long with the only easy path back up to the street
above being the paved one on one side the the trail itself is gravel with trees on both sides
making it difficult to
get off with a bike unless you use the designated entrances and exits Anthony
and I were hanging out on the opposite side of the tunnel from the trail entrance so as not to bother
any families getting on the trail with our music we had our bikes leaned up on the side of the
tunnel when I noticed a man coming through the opposite end right next to the trail entrance
he entered the tunnel and once he was about 15 ft away called out I'm a police officer officer
it didn't take more than a two S
econd Glance to tell that he wasn't he was wearing cargo shorts
a green tank top sandals and a big military style backpack even from about 15 ft away I could tell
that his skin looked really greasy and his hair was unkempt I immediately knew something bad was
about to happen and my adrenaline started to rush I turned to my friend and just yelled Anthony run
to which he got on his bike and began to ride up off the man was standing between us and the trail
entrance so there was no easy way fo
r us to take off without either needing to go directly past
him or down the trail in the opposite direction Anthony chose to try for the main entrance
that the man was blocking as he rode past the man reached out and grabbed his arm Anthony
sort of stopped but the man was more focused on me and ended up letting go allowing Anthony to
quickly take off I knew I wouldn't be as lucky as Anthony if I tried to push my way past the man
so I immediately started looking for other ways to run I notic
ed that there was actually a small
dirt Trail on the same end of the tunnel where we had been I tried to take my bike up it and the
man yelled out behind me didn't your parents ever teach you not to run from the freaking cops the
trail grew too small for me to carry my bike down so I just dropped it on the ground and continued
running hoping that this side Trail LED back up to the street where he at least wouldn't be able
to hurt me without Witnesses he chased me about halfway down the trai
l but eventually turned
around I ended up coming out at the library and quickly ran to the top of the tunnel to see
what he was doing all I saw was him riding off on my bike I called the cops and they came to my
house to give me a lineup after I walked home I instantly identified the guy apparently he and his
twin brother were homeless and on myth which would explain his demeanor and motivation they were
known for stealing bikes in the area but never so brazenly I was just glad that the sit
uation wasn't
worse because based on his substance use he very easily could have chosen violence at the drop of
a hat to the fake cop that stole my bike let's not meet this incident occurred when I was about
21 years old I had just graduated from a large University with a degree in criminal justice and
pre-law my two best friends Alli and Lena and I lived within a 5minute walking distance of each
other in a small town just under one square mile in size it was one of those towns where everyo
ne
knew each other and each other's business we used to joke that you could do whatever you
wanted there because we had never ever seen a cop and most people had never even heard of it
it wasn't on most GPS systems or Maps after the College semester ended we settled into our usual
summer routine I would finish my late night Whit ressing shift in a nearby Town drive to allies
have a beer or two hang out and then head home if I ever had more than two beers I either walked
home or stayed at a
llies to avoid driving Under the Influence one of the first nights of summer
I left allies around 1:00 a.m. and noticed a car parked in a weird lot a couple of houses down
from mine as I drove by I saw it was a cop car it was unusual because we never saw cops in our
town so it was a little weird I texted Ally about it saying there's a cop on my street weird I got
home went to bed and forgot about it almost every night I would drive home from allies and the cop
would be in the weird lot I al
ways saw a shadow of a guy in the car but it was dark usually after
1:00 a.m. and I wasn't about to stop and see who it was he was never there during the day one night
following the same routine I drove by the lck and as I did the cop car's headlights flipped on the
car whipped out of the lot and sped up so close to the back of my car that I honestly thought
I was going to be hit I was terrified he was dangerously close to my car he flipped on his red
and blue lights but by then I was about
to turn into my driveway I turned in turned off my car but
didn't exit I honestly thought I was being pulled over in my own driveway I was scrambling for my
license nervous as hell when I saw the cop just waiting at the top of my driveway lights turned
off at this point he sat for a minute and then drove off speeding way over the limit on a sleepy
side streak I was scared for a few reasons firstly the cop knew my car if I had the same routine
every night and he was even a little observant
he would see my car turn into my driveway always
after 1:00 a.m. secondly I wasn't doing anything illegal I was shaken but decided to forget about
it I texted my friends and we all agreed it was weird but whatever he was either being a jerk or
I had forgotten to use a blinker and he decided to let me go it was whatever until it happened every
night after that for a week straight every time I turned down my street after allies the cop flipped
on his lights rode my car's bumper to my driveway
and sped off it was clear at this point he was
just being a jerk but I didn't understand the point I was scared honestly but my friends always
turned it into a joke so I guess I did too the cop harassment continued for a week by the third week
of Summer the cop was gone no one tailed me home and all was well until my friends got their
first taste of the old cop with the squeaky breakes Ali and I were sitting on her front porch
as she smoked a cigarette it was about 5:00 p.m. and we were ma
king plans for the night Lena was
on away we were in the middle of laughing about something when I heard them the squeaky breaks I
said something like I bet this is the cop coming around the corner you'll finally see who's been
bothering me I was right Ally laughed a little as he drove past her house she agreed he had the
squeakiest breaks in the world he slowed down as he drove by and then disappeared out of sight but
we heard him coming back and you could tell he was driving fast he slamm
ed on his squeaky brakes and
stopped at the end of allies driveway and got out of the car he was far enough away that if I ever
ran into him on the street I wouldn't be able to ID him he had those aviator glasses on his little
cop hat the gun the badge the uniform the works but he didn't speak he just stood at the end of
the driveway hands on his hips looking at us I mentioned earlier that I was a criminal justice
and pre-law major and my friends considered me their goof free lawyer because
I knew just a
little better what to say to Cops and what your rights were Ally whispered to me what the heck is
happening so I decided to address the situation and called out to him can we help you officer he
didn't speak for a minute but eventually said what are you young ladies up to smoking weat out of
that funny smelling cigarette it was surreal who even says things like that I calmly answered no
it was just a regular cigarette and Ally held up her box of marbor Reds as some form of pr
oof he
didn't answer just stared at us then he said so coldly well if there is no weat up there why don't
you invite me inside so I can check for myself and we won't have any problems pretty girls shouldn't
smoke I was shocked but I knew I had to keep calm I replied no officer that won't be necessary we
were just going inside anyway there are no issues here and this is private property I really hope
you have a great rest of your day though thank you I grabbed Ally and pulled her inside I ac
ted
cool in front of the guy but I was nervous what was this cop's deal we watched as he got in
his car and left always hitting those squeaky brakes Ally texted me that week saying the cop
had been circling her house every night he had stopped following me home but he had also been
circling my house I always heard his brakes leave the end of my street when I was in bed my bed
was on the second floor directly under a huge window I always left open that faced the street
I always peaked up an
d saw his car leaving when I heard the brakes one night I was in bed heard
the brakes but didn't hear the car make a turn or drive it sounded like he stopped right outside my
window I was tired and used to the cops nonsense so I didn't bother looking I was trying to sleep
when out of nowhere my room lit up a huge bright light illuminated my room my first thought was
alien abduction until rational thoughts replaced it I sat up in bed terrified and looked out
the window to be blinded by the b
rightest light I had ever seen it took me a minute but I
realized it was the spotlight on the cops car he was literally shining it into my bedroom I felt
scared angry and Confused used that was too far he had essentially ruined my summer and I was done
with it I got my bearings and went to the window I stood in it blinds all the way up until the cop
turned off the spotlight he didn't leave it was a weird uncomfortable standoff I grabbed my phone
turned on the flesh shoved my arm out the win
dow and yelled down the street I really hope you don't
mind me taking your picture I swear I had never seen the car drive faster or peel out quicker he
was gone before my flash was even halfway done going off he never came back later that night he
was sitting outside Lena's house for the first time he was blocking her driveway she pulled up
next to him asked him to move so she could get home and he said I bet you want to get home that
was the last conversation or experience any of us had wi
th him and I haven't seen him since this
might not seemed too creepy but it was an unmarked clearly poorly maintained cop car with squeaky
brakes he had the lights the outfit everything but after the summer we realized that maybe this guy
wasn't a real cop and if he was he really had no respect for his position or how he treated people
and clearly abused his authority I still always check when someone with squeaky breaks passes my
house so squeaky breaks cup let's not meet ever recently the
re was an amber alert and my daughter
asked me about the beeping sound for those who may not know an amber alert is issued when
a child is reported missing if you receive notifications you know what I'm talking about the
alert sometimes provides information such as the victim's appearance the perpetrator's details the
location of the abduction and the make and model of the vehicle my phone started beeping one
evening while I was helping my daughter clean her room it was an amber alert she a
sked about
it and I gave her a brief explanation however it triggered a childhood memory of mine where I
truly believe I was almost kidnapped as a child to be clear this isn't a memory that lay dormant
in my subconscious only to resurface due to this random amber alert and conversation with my
kid this incident is something I've pondered and thought about off and on for years now I'm a
41-year-old male by the way it's just been a while since I've considered the factors and details of
the e
xperience and this recent amber alert and conversation with my daughter caused me to pause
and reflect on the incident once again as a parent you worry about these things and do all you can
to protect your children especially when you have personally experienced something truly scary like
this the incident happened when I was just a young kid probably around 7 or 8 years old I can't
be certain but that's my best estimate based on the fact that many of those early childhood
memories aren't a
s Vivid anymore I do remember my kindergarten experience which would have been
when I was five or six and also later grades so this incident must have occurred sometime after
or around the ages of seven or eight my parents took me to a neighboring City for shopping
we lived in a small rural town with limited offerings so we would occasionally drive to this
neighboring City about 45 minutes away because it had more to offer they would take me there for
school clothes shopping Dining Out and
because my mom was passionate about crafting she loved making
crafts and there were various craft stores and a fabric stor she liked visiting in that City on
this particular trip we went to a fabric store Joe and fabrics to be precise it was a sizable
store especially in the eyes of a young child my dad stayed in the car while I went in with my
mom he often chose to stay in the car when there was a store he didn't want to enter so I can't
blame him there I can't recall exactly what my mom w
as looking for that day but I do remember the
section we were in an area with racks of various Fabrics hanging it was like a clothing store
with circular racks except they were filled with Fabrics I remember this area being slightly toward
the beginning or entrance of the store as my mom was browsing through these racks I began to wander
though not too far just enough to explore a bit bit I was probably bored and looking for something
to entertain me however I could still see my mom a few r
acks away so I wasn't far from her suddenly a
random man approached me and I can't even remember from which direction he came it was like one
moment I was alone and the next he was there he approached quickly seemingly out of nowhere
I glanced over to where my mom was and although she had moved a few racks away I could still see
her there was a considerable distance between us at this point so here I was standing behind some
rack of fabric with this older guy on the other side then he spoke
hey little boy how are you
doing there I remained silent because I was taken completely off guard he asked where are your folks
are you alone in here I Stood Still and quiet come here I have something to show you at this point he
started advancing toward me coming around the rack where I was I quickly started moving the other way
but he stopped and began moving in the opposite direction as if to intercept me I was scared at
that moment and instantly realized that this man seemed dangerous
and was trying to grab me come
here He barked I jerked to the left but he did the same he had this wild look in his eyes whichever
direction I went he followed but remember there was a rack between us God I'm so thankful for that
rack after some back and forth movements between me and this man I finally locked eyes with my mom
and yelled mom help it was as if I had screamed bloody murder it was so loud that it got my mom's
attention what's wrong she asked this startled the man and he looked
over his shoulder in the
direction of my gaze confirming that indeed she must be my mother his demeanor completely changed
and it was as if everything was just a joke and he was merely fooling around he even said as much
to my mom I was just playing around with him no harm ma'am my mom came to where I was and as we
reunited the man tipped his hat at my mom and made his way out of the store I explained to my mom
what had just happened that this guy was trying to grab me and I was extremely
upset and shaken
she told me I did the right thing by yelling and getting her attention it was a terrifying
experience and I'm grateful that nothing worse happened when I was 18 and freshly broken up with
my much older boyfriend I went a bit crazy with dating guys at the time I also dressed very goth
even going as far as wearing a real corset and trench coat mostly just enjoying the attention
one particular afternoon my friend and roommate at the time decided to eat at a local Japanese
res
taurant with both of us dressed up our waiter was a mediocre skinny white guy who clearly was a
little alternative but it was hard to tell really with the uniform we joked about me leaving my
phone number on the receipt or something so I hyped myself up and did so late that night he
had sent me a text we talked for a few days never really finding the right time to meet up
as I worked 40 minutes away from where I lived he mentioned the boots he wore meant a lot to him
and some other odd thin
gs that just just seemed like edgy jokes one really late night coming home
and texting while driving as any 18-year-old does we decided to meet up my stupid self invited him
over to my apartment where it was just me and the roommate who had been with me before our other
two roommates were not home at first it was fine because I was already drunk so I would just
let him rant about whatever he wanted he went on about his life going to jail medical bills his
parents Etc ET eventually he asked
me if I wanted to see his tattoos and I was like okay he lifted
up his shirt and not only could I see the handgun tucked in his waistband but also his multiple
badly covered up Nazi tattoos one was even just slightly covered with a banana I don't know what
it was but I simply decided the best way to deal with this situation was to appease him so I went
along with it casually I don't remember every detail exactly because it was over 2 years ago
go and I was drunk but he ended up pulling his
gun out and putting it to my head asking me if
I was scared I was immensely confused and tried to call this Bluff saying I wasn't which got him
to put it away for a while when we went to hook up in my messy room he pulled it on me again
saying he wanted to do it with it out I got mad and tried to fight him off me and get it away
from my head of course I wasn't as strong as him and he hit me in the arm with it which really
hurt because it was a nice one when I finally got him off me and he r
ealized I was pissed not
scared he started acting like a crackhead saying I was crazy for not caring about him pulling a
gun on me he ran off jumping the fence of the apartment complex and not even taking his car
that he had come in in the morning his car was gone and I had a large bruise from where he
had hit me while to me it is a funny story I now realize how bad it could have ended up so to
the waiter from the Japanese restaurant let's not meet dear Joel and prep I am a 48-year-old fema
le
who during the time of the following story was married for the first time to give him a name
for the story I'll call him Mike this story takes place on September 3rd 2005 I had a 14-year-old
stepdaughter at the time where I'm going to call Justine for the sake of ease of Storytelling and
sadly she was a very troubled young girl at the time of this story I was still a certified EMT
although not long before the story takes place I injured my back on the job and lost my ability to
work on
the ambulance anymore and I was crushed I did my best to be a source of support discipline
and love for Justine but I was dealing with a lot of emotional pain at the loss of my dream career
her biological mother was a raging drug addict and even though her father Mike was clean from drugs
and had been for many years he was still extremely self-absorbed and had a habit of dismissing
Justine's emotional difficulties so she really hadn't experienced a lot of guidance and support
to deal with t
he pain her parents behaviors on the day this story takes place Justine was spending
the day in her room she was anemic and often tired so I didn't think much of it around noon I
bought her an ice cream from the ice cream man and brought it to her room this will come up later I
heard her stereo turn on upstairs as I sat with my husband on the living room couch and we began
to have a serious talk about Justine's well-being during this time we had voluntary DHHS services in
place because Just
ine had started to sneak out at night she nearly failed to advance to the next
grade and she had actually spent sometime in a pediatric psychiatric hospital a year prior for a
very serious suicide attempt although her father liked to refer to it as just a cry for help during
the time of the story Justine was still in DHHS custody even though she was back at home with
us our worker had told us that if at any time we felt like we couldn't keep her safe we were
to call the hotline and someone
would help us the more Mike and I talked the more we worried
that we couldn't keep her safe because of some of the behaviors that she was exhibiting and we
made the decision to call the hotline I placed the call spoke to the person on the other end of
the line and explained everything in great detail they assured me that they were going to get in
touch with a supervisor and that someone would be in touch with us in an hour it was a Saturday
so I was not surprised by this we decided to just
let her spend the time in her room until we knew
what was going to come of the call we lost track of time and decided to watch some TV while we
waited after a while I needed to use the restroom and got up to head upstairs where our bathroom was
located I got to the foot of the stairs where I was able to hear her stereo playing but what I
heard made me feel afraid it was a CD that was skipping over and over and she wasn't fixing it
I told Mike that we needed to check on Justine we started up
the stairs and as we approached the
top the nervous energy in the air was palpable my intuition told me something was not right but
I didn't know what yet we walked into her room and it appeared to be empty Mike even said yep
she snuck out again he walked across the room to her stereo and turned it off we both turned to
leave her room with me turning toward the empty room and Mike turning toward the closet which had
its sliding doors halfway open I then heard Mike make a noise that I can't
quite describe a Yelp
maybe I don't know I turned to look at him and then followed his gaze to the closet at first my
mind couldn't wrap itself around what I was seeing it was Justine she had hung herself in her closet
from this point it was as if a switch had flipped in my brain I was no longer a person with emotions
I was on autopilot I told Mike to lift her up to remove her weight off her neck I briefly tried
to untie the scarf she had used but to no avail so I ran to get my trauma shea
rs out of my bag
that I always used to take to work I had to run downstairs to get them I grabbed the cordless
phone and began to dial 911 as I ran upstairs I handed it to Mike to talk to them while I cut
her down I directed him to repeat everything to the operator that I said it was not the first time
I dealt with a suicide or even a hanging but never someone who I loved if it was not for the fact
my veins were pumping adrenaline I might not have been as calm as I was if I'm being honest I
think
I would have handled it the same regardless I was a soldier in the Army before I was an EMT and
an EMT before I was a wife and stepmother the reason I was so good at the former two and not so
good at the latter one is because of the signific ific history of personal trauma I have experienced
without thinking that switch I described earlier would flip when I was amid traumatic experiences
allowing me to think clearly and act without hesitation I quickly took the scarf off her neck
an
d did a brief assessment I felt a cored pulse while I looked for the rise and fall of her chest
I observed neither were present at this time I noticed that her fists were balled up which is
referred to as posturing and it is indicative of significant brain damage her jaw was tightly
clenched with her tongue protruding from in between her front teeth her eyes were slightly
open but were dull and lifeless I knew that she had passed away and in the state I was in I was
able to calmly tell Mike
that she was gone he was hysterical and rightfully so he begged me to
save her over and over so I made the decision to go to what we often refer to as heroic Measures I
decided I was going to do CPR despite knowing she was gone on in retrospect I'm glad I did because
that would have been one more thing for me to feel terrible about this all happened in a matter of a
few seconds I told Mike to inform the dispatcher that I was an EMT and that I was initiating CPR
and to please send fire and
a second truck which is protocol when CPR was in progress I looked down
at her face and attempted to secure an airway but as I said her jaw was clamped shut like a vice
I looked around and saw saw Fork on the floor I used it to pry her Jaws open I gently put her
tongue back in place as I was going to have to do mouth to mouth I wiped some foam off her
lips took a deep breath and did my first series of two breaths at this time the protocol was two
breaths to 15 compressions I could taste the
ice cream that I had bought her a few hours earlier
when I breathed into her her chest Rose as it was supposed to do but I can't begin to tell you how
Eerie it was when I began compressions the air was was forced out of her lungs that sounded just like
a breath I had done CPR a few times at this point but it was the one and only time I did mouth to
mouth even though I knew what would happen when I began compressions my heart still skipped a beat
and I briefly thought that she was breathing
but I knew that she wasn't regardless of my training
my wishful thinking caused me to really think it was so I quickly got into a rhythm and began to
wonder who was going to come to my house that day I worked with with the people that would be coming
even though I didn't know exactly who was working our rescue truck that day it didn't matter I knew
them all I used to work close to 100 hours a week and I loved every minute of it I then began to
wonder about the second truck and I hoped they
weren't too green I felt bad for whoever was on
their way to my house with their adrenaline now pumping knowing what sort of call was ahead of
them when I saw who it was I was relieved I did some right time with them when I was was doing
the right time required by the company I worked for a few years prior as a new hire I won't say
which company but for those of you in EMS it is a large Nationwide private Ambulance Company I
remember feeling really bad for the people who were coming nobody
likes to do a call like that
one they came in and we briefly locked eyes they didn't show any hint of faltering or anything
other than the strong confident professionals that I knew them to be they gently pulled me
off of her and I suddenly was back in my normal emotional human state of being I crawled out of
the room on my hands and knees and just screamed Justine no I was absolutely beside myself I
sat at the top of the stairs where two police officers were sitting and I began franticall
y
taking my hands and wiping in my eyes as though I was trying to wipe the images off my eyes all
these years later not a day goes by that I don't see the images of that day they are all always
there rolling over the backs of my eyes like a movie playing in the background of everything I
see and do a couple of years after justtin died my husband and I got a divorce I got remarried on
March 20th 2010 in May of 2010 we discovered we had a baby on the way our son was born in January
of 2011 w
e are still married and happier now than we were the day we married our son is amazing
he just turned 13 and is a very happy and well- behaved boy he is autistic and minimally verbal
but he is always laughing and smiling as he gets closer to Justine's age some people ask me if I
am worried I worry about plenty but his happiness is so evident that it is infectious besides we
make our whole lives all about what is best for him I only wish Justine would have had two parents
that treated her li
ke that every kid deserves that when I was 18 almost 10 years ago I had a phone
call that completely changed my life I got woken up at almost 6:00 a.m. by an unknown number I
figured it was my boyfriend now husband since his phone usually showed up as the famous unknown
number he usually called me before going to work at around 7830 a.m. but sometimes he'd call me at
6ish if he wanted to talk to me while waking up I answer he says hey baby and I'm still half asleep
but start talking he tell
s me he has a little problem and that he's feeling really you know
being 18 and having to start dating him recently let's just say I was very willing to you know so
we start and he tells me how he absolutely loved seeing me last weekend how good I looked how he
absolutely loved my hot red panties he basically described what we had done during the weekend and
how much he loved some of the things I did to him I replied I was more and more awake and we were
having a really good time then I not
iced it was almost 700 a.m. the time where he usually takes
his shower eats and gets ready to go out the door I basically ask him so this is fun and all
but aren't you going to get ready for work this is giving me chills typing it but he basically
replied A no I think I'll skip work today what about I come over now the thing is by then I was
pretty awake and although the voice that was was talking to me was very similar to my boyfriend's
something threw me off my boyfriend doesn't say I no
like he does besides I knew that unless he was
sick my boyfriend would never skip work because he was scheduled on shifts and missing a shift
was a big deal that could get him fired I kind of froze he noticed it so he said oh babe you're
right I should start getting dressed so you want me to come over by then I swear that his voice was
back to my boyfriend's voice and I just felt silly so what if he wanted to skip a day at work maybe
he just wanted to see me so I tell him yes sure come over
it will only be us here he replied
great then he asked where is it this confused me because my boyfriend knows where I live he had
been coming over for weeks now I laugh it off and tell him hauh you know where it is that's when
he laughed and his laugh was absolutely not my boyfriend's laugh I instantly told him you're not
my boyfriend are you he replied can you just hang on please I need to go grab something meanwhile I
get a text from my boyfriend I figure that maybe this is just a sick
joke maybe he coordinated it
perfectly maybe he's sick and his voice doesn't sound the same the text from my boyfriend said at
the subway going to work now love you I texted him saying why are you texting me we are talking
right now at which point my actual boyfriend called he was very confused at first and figured
someone had hacked into his MSN when I told him it was by phone he reassured me that he absolutely
did not call me and that whoever it was it was not him he had to go as the subw
ay train was
there but he will call as soon as he was at work then the other guy called back I picked up
and I asked him who are you and what do you want I pretty much went crazy on him he said that his
name was Mike that we had met a long time ago and that he just wanted to have fun that he didn't
know I had a boyfriend I asked him how he knew what I was wearing what we did and how he got
my phone number he just said where are you why don't we meet at which point I hung up he called
again
but I didn't answer within minutes I had called my mom to tell her what happened she told
me to change my phone number and not to stay home alone I changed my phone number right away I
also alerted local police they opened a file but nothing ever came out of it I still wonder
how he knew what we did and what I was wearing my boyfriend swore at the time he would never
let any of his friends know all that but his parents house did have lots of Windows and we
weren't exactly careful Mike let'
s never ever meet a few years ago I started getting into
this Italian crime show called gamar I must have watched every series of The Sopranos
like a zillion times and a friend of mine recommended gamar to me selling it to me as it
being like the Italian Sopranos only a hundred times more brutal and Bleak needless to say
I was hooked and I binge watched the first two Series in like a week usually with my phone
nearby so I could text my buddy like holy crap this show is Emma aing every so of
ten thanking
him to turning me on to it then not long after I'm scrolling through Instagram and I notice
I'm getting Italian language sponsored ads I figure it was just a glitch in the apps algorithm
something like that and didn't think anything of it but it kept happening over and over again I'd
get all kinds of ads for different products and services that were only available in Italy I'm a
little embarrassed that it took me as long as it did to make the connection between the Italian
adv
ertisements and the fact I'd been watching deara but when I find finally did it seriously
gave me the creeps my phone was listening to me my phone had been broadcasting the sounds of the
TV series to somewhere that was then tailoring the promoted posts in my insta feed to stuff it was
assumed I might buy but then if it was listening to me and sending whatever I was saying off to
some advertising company or whatever there's legit nothing to say that the government can't access
that same tech
nology for years we worried about the possibility of George Orwell's 1984 becoming a
reality Fring over a totalitarian government that would put cameras or microphones in our homes
that they could then use to listen to us but do you think Orwell could have predicted that we'd
do it all voluntarily that all you had to do was package the telescreen in a shiny package couple
it with social media and we'd basically hand over our Collective privacy on a silver platter like
I might sound legit cr
azy 20 or 30 years ago if I was all like they listening to us they're spying
on on us using our phones but today it's a matter of record that our devices record ambient noise
before analyzing it and passing on keywords to advertisers and it's not even the fact that
it's happening that's the scary part it's the fact that no one really cares no one really gives
a damn that we have next to no privacy anymore I've even heard people talk about Huawei phones
like I don't care of the Chinese have
all my info what are they going to do with it I use vpns on
almost every device I own these days and I don't own a smartphone anymore just a flip phone that I
turn off whenever I'm not using it I don't think I'd actually used voicemail in about a decade but
now I use it all the time I just find it insanely creepy that we just sleep walked into this state
of affairs without any more thought than oh my phone now has a camera or oh now my phone has the
internet I used to think those conspiracy
theory types were just a bunch of loans but if they were
right about our phones what else are they write about good friend of mine and I went to college
together and stayed in the same dorms it wasn't uncommon for the dorm phones to ring with drunk
dialers or just pling miss dials the dorm phone numbers were all very similar and generally the
person in the room would change from year to year this particular friend of mine is athletic and
very good at the cold shoulder so for the most part
has never had an issue with creepers she
picks up the phone one night about 3:00 a.m. and there's a man on the other end of the phone
he identified himself by first name very readily I think it was Joe he asked for some other girl's
name and she informed him rather sleepily that he had the wrong number and no such girl lived there
he asks what her name is she gives it he asks her the standard so what are you wearing she informs
him flannel pajamas and bids him good night she thinks this is
the end of it the next night again
about 3:00 a.m. the phone rings and he asks for her by name she informs him she has no interest in
speaking with him and not to call again however he doesn't stop he keeps calling night after night
this is particularly worrisome because the dorm phone numbers are formatted such that you can
get a good idea where a room is by number and vice versa she speaks with a friend of the family
who is a cop who agrees to put a Trace unit on the phone her relationshi
p with her roommate isn't
above cordial so the roommate doesn't understand that the trace item needs to stay plugged in
because this is a legitimate issue fast forward to winter break friend and I are the only two
people we're aware of in the dorms she is spending time in my room but needs to go grab something
in her room while in her room for those brief minutes the phone rings the call Trace unit isn't
plugged in she's afraid he is calling because he could see your rooms light from the st
reet at
this time I noticed a man walking through the hallways since that night I've never known if
that was someone caring for the dorms doing a round or a creeper fortunately though my friend
no longer picking up the phone seemed to do the trick she's still spooked by men who sound
like Joe and has never felt quite as safe as before this happened when I was in my early
teens in the late ' 80s my family lived in a very secluded forested area we had a long driveway and
our small home sat o
n a square acre of mow grass with Woods on two sides I was alone late one night
talking with a buddy from school I often rode my bike to town over the summer and he invited me
to come over and spend the night it was a 20m trip over completely empty country roads but it
was always an adventure and I seldom hesitated to go when I had a place to stay I told him it
was a sure thing I'd call my mother at work and then start my ride here's where it gets creepy
once I hung up the phone and started
getting dressed I picked up the phone again to call Mom
the line was dead this had never happened before it was a sturdy rotary phone and we never had
problems with it my thoughts instantly went to the small phone box on the back of the house it
was a tiny brown Junction with nothing but a rub were covering behind the cover was the exposed
connection between the phone pole and our inside line the wires were Twisted together and kept
but completely vulnerable I questioned why I would even t
hink about that why would I jump to
conclusions about the cause of the deadline I was overwhelmed with a feeling of dread that didn't
make sense and I was wrestling with my thoughts I decided to behave as though I was in real danger
but calm myself by focusing on how unlikely it was and how my my imagination was probably getting the
best of me but I could not shake the feeling that I was in trouble I finished dressing and strapped
a bug knife to my hip the old Rambo knives with the compass
in the stock it was cheap but very big
I moved quietly and planned how I would leave the house I remember this very well I would slide out
the front door and pull it closed behind me locked I would not be able to get back in I would grab my
bike from against the wall on the enclosed porch spin around and use my elbow to press the button
of the handle on the screen door and jump down the concrete steps I'd hop on my bike and speed down
the drive it was very dark outside but there were bright
lights in the front and rear of the house
that created big pools in the yard that's all the light I would have I executed my maneuver just as
I planned but my elbow slipped off the button on the handle and banged into the door as it opened
and within seconds I was pumping down the gravel drive I turned my head to the left filling my
ears with the Roar of air I was cutting through and stopped pedaling my eyes fixed on the rear
of the house I was 100% sure someone was coming I don't know how
or why it was only for a moment
but I didn't look away despite my own skepticism at the last instant I saw him a man wearing dark
clothes and a ski mask came tearing out of the LD yard around the back of the house and plunged
into the deep sh Shadow along the side hitting for the front where I had been only seconds ago
I was invisible wearing black from head to toe and instead of running straight from me he went
for the porch where the commotion I just made had come from I turned forward a
nd leaned into the
pedals I could barely see the driveway but I had ridden my bike down at many times at night and I
could make out the large Stone Gate posts before the dirt road I almost red turning the corner but
recovered and speeded away about a mile further and I finally stopped at the intersection to a
paved Road my heart was pounding in my chest and my forehead was sweaty I stood there for a bit
and got my breathing under control while I tried to digest what had just happened my tho
ughts
were racing I knew damn well what I saw but I was out of danger all I could do was press on my
neighbors were Amish no foam I wouldn't have known what to say anyway when I got to my friend's house
much later I told him what happened and called my mother she listened and didn't give me a hard time
but I could tell she didn't know what to think she wouldn't be home till morning and said she'd
be careful and that was it I had heard laughter once from the edge of the woods and things in
the yard had been moved on occasion but no one else had these experiences and I assumed it was
backwards Amish kids fooling around nothing had ever really happened before I doubt Amish kids
would know how to disconnect a phone line though
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