[French narrator]
Ah, I love Spongemas Eve. "Twas the night
before Spongemas, the sea twinkled
with bright lights, and Bikini Bottom chanted, 'Santa is coming tonight,
tonight.'" [carolers] ♪ Oh, Santa's coming
Tonight, tonight ♪ -[growls]
- ♪ Santa's coming tonight ♪ ♪ Santa's coming
Tonight, tonight ♪ ♪ Santa's coming tonight ♪ Come on, everybody! Let's sing till Santa gets here! ♪ Santa Claus, Santa Claus
Santa's on his way ♪ ♪ I'm giving him a present
He'll take back on his sleigh ♪ -
♪ Yay! ♪
-[song ends] [narrator] On the top
of everyone's mind, memories of Christmases before. Some wished to remember less, but others wished for more. [cheering] [excited clamoring] [mumbling indistinctly] [excited shudders] [mumbles] What would you like
for Christmas? [overlapping incoherent lists] [mumbles] Pipe down, children. [groans] [grunts, smacks lips] Huh? What the...? [excited shudders] [gasps] SpongeBob SquarePants? Hi, Santa. Did you know that
I'm your biggest fan? Aww, that's ve
ry sweet of you,
Santa. But actually, Patchy the Pirate
is my biggest fan. Ho-ho-ho! Ahoy, SpongeBob and Patrick! It's me, Patchy the Pirate! [dramatic gasps, grunts] [narrator] Time to pick a tree
and trim it with care, for Santa's coming soon
and the coral is to share. ♪ It's shaping up to be
A wonderful holiday ♪ ♪ Not your normal
Average every day ♪ ♪ Sounds like someone
Felled my old coral tree ♪ ♪ SpongeBob, Patrick
Why'd you do this to me? ♪ ♪ The world feels like
It's in loverly ♪
♪ Go away
Before I harm you bodily ♪ ♪ This Christmas feels like ♪ ♪ The very first Christmas
To me ♪ [garbage clanging] ♪ There'll be shopping
Decorating ♪ ♪ And plenty of snow ♪ ♪ Hey, Patrick, who's that
Under the mistletoe? ♪ ♪ What? Who, me? ♪ ♪ Would you look at the time
I should go ♪ ♪ People seem a little more
Brotherly ♪ ♪ Here's a special something
To you from me ♪ -♪ To you from me ♪
-♪ Even all the trash ♪ ♪ On Christmas
It smells so sweetly ♪ ♪ This Christmas feels like ♪
♪ The very first Christmas
To me ♪ [vocalizing] ♪ What do you want?
Can't you see that I'm busy? ♪ ♪ Step outside, we've got
Something for you to see ♪ ♪ SpongeBob, take this stuff
Down immediately ♪ ♪ Chestnuts roasting
And burns in the third degree ♪ ♪ Tonight things are
As good as they seem to be ♪ ♪ A star on top
Will complete all the scenery ♪ ♪ This Christmas feels like ♪ ♪ The very first Christmas
To me ♪ [chattering grunt] ♪ This Christmas feels like ♪ ♪ The very first Christmas
T
o me ♪ [narrator]
Patrick didn't think much about his first Christmas Day. But you could say
he doesn't think much any day about anything in any way. [happy grunts] [dreamy, festive music playing] [narrator] His favorite
Christmas memory? He truly can't remember. But he loves
the taste of treats -and snowballs in December.
-Hey! Patrick, you fool, this was over
before it started! I will now consider
your unconditional surren... -[air deflates]
-...der. [guffawing] So that's how he wants it
t
o go down. [Patrick continues laughing] [grunting battle cry] Ha! You missed me! [grunting battle cry resumes] [muffled grunts] [slo-mo groans] [grunting] [gulps, panting] Whew! [SpongeBob reloads,
battle cry resumes] [grunting cries] Score one for
the boys back home! -Yes? Oh, Patrick.
-[inaudible grunts] What an unpleasant surprise. -[watery exclamations]
-Oh, boy. Nothing like a game of charades. -[watery grunts]
-Mmm. [gulps, gasps] I was trying to tell you
I was choking on snow, but the sno
w melted
and turned into water and I drank all the water.
Now I'm better. Fascinating. [narrator]
Even in this festive season, Squidward has neighbors
he hates. But he loves his art that no one else appreciates. [chuckles] An artist such as myself
should not be subject to such menial tasks. Aww, don't be menial
to Squidward, Mr. Krabs. -I'll take the delivery.
-No. Mr. Squidward
is a real artist now, and real artists
can handle anything. [shuddering]
The Arctic is so cold. [shivering] [gasps]
Come on, Squidward. You're a strong artist. You can do it! No! [Squidward shouts,
teeth chattering] -Uh, SpongeBob? [screams]
-Oh, hi, Squidward. SpongeBob, what are you
doing here? Just getting some ice. Fresh. [gulping] [giggles] Need some help? [SpongeBob shouts, hums] [upbeat music plays] Here's your food. Hey, this is cold! Perfect! -[laughing]
-[Squidward groans] Eh, we'd better get you home. [narrator] Squidward tried his
best to sleep in his bed, but visions of SpongeBob
tortured his h
ead. You're making me claustrophobic. What does claustrophobic mean? It means he's afraid
of Santa Claus. -No, it doesn't!
-Ho-ho-ho! [giggles] Stop it, Patrick,
you're scaring him! Ho-ho-ho! [Squidward screams] [narrator] Try as he might, Squidward couldn't sleep
a wink. And all SpongeBob could do
was lie awake and think, "Decorations are up,
the stockings are stuffed." "But will all this Christmas
cheer I've shared be enough?" [narrator] Plankton was haunted
by all his tries and fails. Wo
uld this be his year
when he all would hail? He looked back at those times
that he had almost won, like when Bikini Bottom
had a blizzard of chum. -[festive music playing]
-[all exclaiming] You all love Chum Day? [all cheering] It was me!
I invented Chum Day! Chum Day is copywritten by me! [grunts] Excuse me, are you responsible
for all this chum? Yes, that's right.
You're welcome. Well, as the health inspector,
I've got something for you. One billion dollars?! [groaning] [splatting grunt] Yo
u know, there is a way
out of paying the fine. I'll do it. What is it? You can eat up all the chum. Hmm? [grunts] [coughing, gasps] Isn't there anyone that knows
the true meaning of Chum Day? -I know. Lights, please.
-Hmm? And lo, there was chum. A food that turned
from revolting to festive by magical thinking. And the goodwill of chum
clogged the hearts of fishkind and ushered in a new--
[grunts] [laughter] [narrator] [island music playing] [fatigued groans] [splutters, groans] [moaning] [narra
tor] When what to his bad
burning brain should appear but a miniature elf
and eight beefy reindeer. Yo! Where do you think
you're going? [high voice] Who, me? I'm just a little elf! [whimpering] You don't smell like no elf. [normal voice] Oh, yeah?
What's it to you, you moose! [snorting] Hey, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixon, Comet, Cupid,
Donner, Blitzen! -[heavy metal music plays]
-[all growling] Well, looks like we got a whole
Christmas special here. Ready for some reindeer games? Eh, peace o
n Earth? [shouting, grunting] That better be mud
on your hooves! Whoa! [narrator] Little Sheldon
thought of big chaos he had sought. Schemes and plots
and evil Christmas robots. You put that jolly elf down,
you big tin imposter! Hot from the oven,
full of lovin'! [electrical sizzling] Hurry up, Santa! Hop on! -[tires squealing]
-[booming] Thanks again for saving
my keister. It was nothing. You're clearly a very good lad. Unlike the owner
of that windup monstrosity. What have you got there? "If
found, please return
to the Chum Bucket"? Plankton! Uh-oh. Hand it over, Sheldon.
Don't make it any worse. [splats] Okay, boys, let's give Plankton
what he deserves! [Plankton] Eww! Ahh! [gasping shout] I can't take it!
[whimpering sobs] [narrator] Mr. Krabs was pooped
from working holiday shifts. What are they, nuts?
Giving away gifts? [snoring] [Karen sobs]
I got you the perfect gift! The Krabby Patty formula? Mwah! Mwah! H-H-How did you get it? First, I went
to the Krusty Krab. [upbeat mus
ic plays] [Karen] One Krabby Patty please. [bell dings] [beeping] [whirring] Thank you. Whatever. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. What? Sorry, I wasn't listening. Well, you can tell me later. You're not getting this
until you get me a gift. [Patrick] This chewing gum
is my most beloved possession. And I'm giving it to my bestest
friend on Best Friends' Day. Patrick, I am truly honored. [sniffles] And... [sobbing] What's wrong, buddy? [gasping] You got me
such an amazing gift! And all I got you was... that. Gr
eetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing
over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry? -[dings]
-[gulps] Nom! Sweet, hot, and juicy! SpongeBob? He made me a present? [scoffs] It's probably
a jellyfish net. Or an old Krabby Patty.
[chuckles] Or... pfft! [mocking]
His favorite underpants! Present. Ha! Wha...? Why, it looks like a clarinet. [sniffs] [sniffing]
It smells like one too. Hand-crafted out of driftwood? And it's even got my name on
it. What's this? ["Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"
plays] Wow! This is the greatest gift
I have ever gotten. [sniffles] [narrator] "Give things away?"
Krabs thought this was funny. Why donate a dime
when you can make money? -Order up!
-Hey, where's my food? [gulps] Mmm! [overlapping gulps] I want my Krabby Flabby! Comin' right up, sir! [frustrated grunts] Ow! [glass squeaking] -Delicious!
-[whistle blows] [all cheering] Wow, that looks like fun. I'll have two Krabby Patties,
but don't cook them
! I'll have two frozen
Krabby Patties too! -Yes, sir!
-I want Patty skates! I need two patties, now! It's beautiful. I'm selling twice
as many patties and I don't even
have to cook 'em! This is the happiest
and most cost-effective day of me whole life. [laughter fades] [narrator] Sandy was watching
winter sports in her head, thinking of freezing friends
on the sled. [grunting] Attaboy, Gary! [sled creaking] -[dramatic music plays]
-[Gary yowls] [all screaming] [both gasp] Whew! Cliff! [screami
ng] Hold on, SpongeBob! [grunts] We made it. Hooray. Right, Squidward? [gasps] Oh my gosh! Patrick! Lean to the other side! -Excuse me, ma'am.
-[Karen] What?! -Gotcha!
-Hey, Sandy, have you given any thought
to how we're gonna... land? [snarling] [growls, roars] [narrator] Icy mountains
and monsters Sandy can handle for sure, but beware, you thieves
who might steal her fur. What is this stuff? [Patrick] It's a vast,
swirling wonderland of sparkly white pleasure! Let it fill your senses
with ca
scading fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort as you've never felt before. Wow, Patrick. [sniffles]
That was beautiful. What? I was just reading
this candy wrapper. See? [narrator] Since the tropical
heat of the sea was the norm, SpongeBob and Patrick
needed help to stay warm. Oh, look!
It's SpongeBob and Patrick! -[both shrieking]
-Hi, guys! [shrieks stop] [soft guitar notes play] [bird twittering nearby] [screams] [narrator] Still in his bed
with the morning ahead, SpongeBob thought of s
now
and Santa in red. [holiday music playing] ♪ Oh, it's drawing very near ♪ ♪ My favorite time of year ♪ ♪ The snow is falling
And the cold wind blows ♪ ♪ Christmas is almost here ♪ ♪ And I know that
Santa, Santa, Santa ♪ ♪ Has his jolly little eyes
On me ♪ ♪ It keeps me warm
And filled with glee ♪ ♪ To know
Santa has his eyes on me ♪ ♪ I light my house
Like a Christmas tree ♪ ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-lee ♪ ♪ 'Cause Santa, Santa, Santa
Has his jolly little ♪ -[horn toots]
-♪ Eyes
on me ♪ [upbeat music plays] Hi, Squidward,
what are you doing today? Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms, to go away! [narrator]
Ah, Christmas memories. Your results may vary from ones cheery and fun to ones less than merry. There was that time
it seemed Santa wouldn't show. SpongeBob still can't forget Squid's humiliating photo. [Squidward] Say "Santa Claus." [weepy] Santa Claus. [Polaroid camera whirring] Aww. Our first Christmas. ♪ This Christmas feels like
The very fir
st Christmas ♪ ♪ The first Christmas
Is this Christmas ♪ ♪ 'Cause it feels like
The first Christmas to me ♪ [cackling] [narrator] But it never takes
much to give SpongeBob a smirk. Especially on Christmas,
bringing cheer to a jerk. [holiday music playing] ♪ Bring joy to the world
It's the thing to do ♪ ♪ But the world does not
Revolve around you ♪ -♪ Don't be a jerk ♪
-♪ Don't be a jerk ♪ ♪ It's Christmas ♪ ♪ Be nice to babies and animals
Old folks too ♪ ♪ 'Cause that's how you'd
Like th
em to treat you ♪ ♪ Use turn signals
Don't screen my calls ♪ ♪ Don't you wreck the house
When you deck the halls ♪ ♪ Spit your gum where it won't
Wind up on my shoe ♪ ♪ Squeeze toothpaste
From the bottom of the tube ♪ -♪ Don't be a jerk ♪
-♪ Don't be a jerk ♪ ♪ It's Christmas ♪ ♪ It's Christmas! ♪ [narrator]
The chestnuts were roasting, the halls were all decked, but what's this? A surprise
he will never forget. Squidward, dressed in fur
from his head to his toes. He looked like Kris Kri
ngle
in those new Christmas clothes. His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry. His cheeks were like roses, his nose, oh, très scary. You're... S-S-S-S-San...
[gasps] S-S-S-S-San... [gasps] -S-S-S-S-San... [gasps]
-Hey, uh, kid? Take it easy. S-S-S-S-Santa! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? SpongeBob! S-S-S-S-San... [gasps] Don't do that again. I knew you'd make it, Santa! Hey, Santa,
where's your big round belly? Well, uh, that, um,
is a result of, uh, undersea pressure
on my body. Where's your
reindeer?
And your flying machine? Uh, I loaned them
to the Easter Bunny. And what about that nose? I knew you were supposed to have
a big one! But that thing's gigantic!
[laughs] -All right, I'm Santa!
-Santa! This is the greatest gift
you could've given me. Thank you for bringing Christmas
to Bikini Bottom. [fire crackling] [narrator] [horn blows] [gasps] Come on, Gary, you lazy bones, it's time to wake up! [narrator] Good friends gather
round the ol' Krusty Krab. Presents and feasts and chee
r
they will have. SpongeBob can see the joy
he's brought along. And his heart is aflutter
as he bursts into song. -♪ O... ♪
-Oh, no, he's not gonna sing. ♪ O Krusty Krab
O Krusty Krab ♪ ♪ O how I love you
Krusty Krab ♪ ♪ Your Krabby Patties
From the grill ♪ ♪ The smell of grease
Gives me a thrill ♪ ♪ O Krusty Krab
O Krusty Krab ♪ ♪ O how I love you
Krusty Krab ♪ ♪ With prices high
And portions small ♪ ♪ The stains of mustard
On the wall ♪ ♪ O Krusty Krab
O Krusty Krab ♪ ♪ O how I lov
e you
Krusty Krab ♪ [narrator] Santa springs to his
sleigh, his reindeer set sail, and they wave fond farewells like the fin of a whale. And they hear him exclaim
as he swims out of sight, "Merry Spongemas to all,
and to all a good night." [fire crackling]
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