Understanding My Dad, Boys & Women - Kenny Sebastian | Stand Up Comedy

But I still feel shy though. When I'm around really pretty women. You know... Yeah, I feel all awkward and shit. I mean I don't want that reaction or anything. I don't know. Don't worry I'm not feeling shy today. So it's fine. Oh! Did he just say that? Did he just? Did a comedian just make a joke? All the guys are like, "Brutal bro!" All the women are like, "Really? Freaking asshole. Have you even seen me? Have you even seen me? What is this shit lighting? Give me bathroom lights. I'll show you,

you son of a bitch. How dare you say that? How dare you say that, Kenny? Wow! We're not pretty enough for him? You know how much shit I put on my face? My mother doesn't recognise me now, yeah! I put some eye liner, some mascara, I put eyelashes through the sunroof, bitch! How dare you say that? I'm not pretty enough it seems. I put like eye shadow from light to dark, dark to light, four dimensional eye shadow. You son of a bitch. I met my grandfather. He's doing well. I straightened my hair an

d I lost four of my fingers. But I'll still climb the Himalayas, you son of a bitch." It's just a joke. I don't mean that. Because women, they re-invent themselves. Whenever they go anywhere, it's like how can I be better for this new venue? This new place. You enter a bathroom, a new person comes out. I'm like, "Excuse me, have you seen my friend Tina? Oh you're Tina. Shit!" Awesome. Guys when they go inside the bathroom, first question is do I really need to wash my hands? Do I? And second is

why am I even wearing clothes, bro? Because guys as they get older, they just want to get naked. Look at your dad at home. Your dad hates wearing clothes. Yeah! He just hates wearing clothes. When guests come home, your mom is like, "What impression will we make?" Your dad is like, "I have to wear clothes now? No!" It's like you got a bear from the wild. And you are teaching him how to live in civilization. It's crazy, I know. So I feel shy around women. You know there are really pretty intimida

ting women, right. You guys know what I'm talking about. Oh so, everyone's a player. Okay. I'm sorry guys. I'm sorry for looking stupid. All the guys are like, "Bro, what you're talking about? What is this shy shit? Shy? Bro that's not in my dictionary. I'm so hot, when I step out on the road, a truck full of women come and I'm like, No, thanks and I moonwalk home. Yeah! That's how cool I am, Kenny. Shy? I'm not shy. Yeah?" That's why I hate asking for opinions from guys in a group. Guys are ama

zing people one on one. They are amazing people. Have conversations with them one on one. Moment you put them in a group, they'll be like... Just. They are the worst people. Like women who are dating guys, you know what I am talking about. Your boyfriend one on one with you, is super emotional. They'll be like, "Baby, I just wanna say you mean the world to me, baby." "Can you hold my hand while I talk to you? Can you hold my hand? It's almost like the past eight months have become the best eight

months. Can you do that finger thing? Can we do that finger thing? I just wanna say that My friends... Like me and Gopal have been friends for like eight years. But your eight months feel like a life time. It is not even the physical thing, it's just the cuddling. You know you make me... You make me feel warm, you know? Like you know me better than my parents too, you know. I can tell you stories that I can't tell anybody. Baby, just... You're my princess and I'm your prince, I just want to say

that. I just want to say that." And suddenly, his guy friends come like, "Bro this Neha is being so clingy bro! Shit! E-M-O, Emo! Let's go and drink bro!