Weekend Update: Terry Fink’s Fall 2021 Movie Review - SNL

-Well, it is officially fall, which means, you guessed it, movies, movies and more movies. That's terrible. Here to give us his picks of the season is our very own film critic, Terry Fink. -Hey! Thank you! Mr. Jost, an honor and a privilege. -Welcome back, Terry. Now, you've seen every single film out there this year already. How is it even possible to see everything? -Sure, it's possible, Colin. In fact, I've found I can watch up to nine movies at once, thanks to a little friend I call "LSD." -

Wait. You're taking LSD? -I'm just microdosing. It's all the rage! A little bit of LSD helps me LS-see all these terrific films. First up, James Bond, "No Time to Die." Well, shake up those martinis because Bond is back with a license to thrill... audiences. Daniel Craig wows as the titular Brit, until the third act, when he bizarrely transforms into a 50-foot-tall Catholic nun whipping me with my father's belt. That said, it's the best movie I've ever seen. Colin? -Yeah, I don't know, Terry. It

sounds like you might be more than microdosing. -Says the guy with no mouth. [ Laughs ] Relax, narc. Next up, the recent "Paw Patrol: The Movie." Quick! Someone call 9-fun-fun, because this hellish film is a skin-melting nightmare. A mostly confusing blur of colors, shrieks, and vibrating plaid, this "pawdorable" ode to fascism begs the question, "Will I ever stop falling through this bottomless void?" Director Charles Manson will have you standing in the aisles, sweating buckets, and screaming

"ACAB" until the theater is quietly evacuated. I hated it. I loved it. I feared it. And I accepted it as my one, true God. I give "Paw Patrol" ten teeny, tiny Terrys. Jamal? -No, it's Colin. And, Terry, I think you need to maybe ease up on the LSD. -Yeah. Sure. Says the guy whizzing around the studio like a hummingbird. I'm gonna get you, Colin. Gotcha! -I-I'm over here. -Oh, God! Don't do that! -Okay. You okay, man? -Next up, it's breezy, slice-of-life rom-com "Venom 2: Let There Be Carnage."

I'm gonna be honest. I was a little high for this one. But I got the gist. Meryl Streep is flat-out awful as Venom, himself. But it's newcomer Jeb Bush who thrills and kills as a Times Square Elsa shoving me through the window of an M&M store. I loved it so much, I ran 19 blocks in 2 minutes. I give it 22 toothless Terrys. Satan? -Oh, no. Terry Fink, everyone. -I don't trust the vaccine. Unh-unh.