What REAL Trans People Need You To Know

and this is one other thing trans people  you know if you're not fully in it I there's not a day that goes by that  I don't go I don't like this part of me it's it's something that's stuck  in you and it doesn't really go away hey everybody I caught myself another one an  awesome one too so that being said first you know like subscribe ring that Bell thing all  those things the comment I just everything is so amazing thank you all for joining me on this  channel and really raising the awareness

of this channel it helps me a lot bring these beautiful  amazing guests on so today I have Eve or Evelyn I think we're gonna call you Evelyn so so Evelyn is  beautiful I already had a small conversation with her and so I just want her actually to introduce  herself and then we'll get on with the interview so hey Evelyn nice to see you hi nice to see you  you can call me Eve okay full name okay great uh I um yeah I mean I'm aware of buck of course is  like huge you know uh forced to be reckoned w

ith um I I am a teen uh I was Teen trans uh  girl I started taking hormones when I was 11. and I did everything on my own from  that day on so that was in the 80s so early early 80s wow oh that's this is going to be so  fascinating so in the 80s you started taking um hormones how at 11 how how did you do that  can you tell us I was uh popping so wherever I could find contraceptive pills I took whatever  I could get my hands on how did you know to do that at 11. uh well when I was very young I go

t  very familiar with well I was reading McLean's and it was Canadian um your magazine uh National  Geographic whatever good read I could find so it's probably grade two grade three when I started to  read and I read a lot I read a lot of my parents whatever I could find encyclopedias we had little  encyclopedias uh except me I tell them we had a total thing of encyclopedias I think we were  missing Zed I don't know somewhere in there but um whatever I can find and um yeah and it I saw  a descri

ption of um uh different trans women um that had existed at the time and they were  I didn't know how like I didn't understand how they got to the point they were uh I also looked  at them and I wasn't sure that they didn't look I know this sounds weird but they didn't look  happy and there was a sense of something about the look on their faces and I went are they happy  like you know how do they do this like you know because that's me like I I knew that from day  one as soon as I could talk I t

old my parents and we've heard these stories a million times I knew  I was not destined to be male and I did I was so you know I don't know if it's a time uh you  know for us like because we were similar times um but I could not exist as a male I I have no  interest I it's so insulting to you I I feel like that no I just I feel um mentally there is  absolutely no way I could go there I would kill myself yeah and that's how I felt and that feeling  uh still transcends over the years as well it's

such a weird thing as we know and personally  you're the only person who can really feel that um that it's it's it's dark we know it's  dark yeah but it's we're living in a time that there's more acceptance but we're living  in a time where there's a lot of misinformation um and it's it's only it's very personal it's very  personal and it's so you know I don't know as as yourself and what I've read and what you've said  uh there's you're humiliated you're because people know in your neighborhood

s your family doesn't  accept you at points and got to be strong got to be strong but sometimes that even if you feel  strong you still have to you you're still a human like I don't know it's a very delicate thing and I  think that that does that make sense I don't know 100 it does and I really appreciate you saying  that and especially in a day and age I think where and I don't I don't want to Discount anybody's  uh dysphoria however that resonates in their body but I also don't want people to

get into a space  where they don't you know understand the long term effects the living in this space like all all you  know you're an elder and that's not a bad that's I don't mean that as an insult I mean that as an  actual real the thing you are somebody who did it way before many people and you have a very um  solid perspective of of gosh so it's you know how many years you've been living as a woman which  is kind of your whole life on some level right yeah I I never ever went and boys washr

ooms I was  petrified I actually saw a teacher take advantage of a a boy once actually when I was very young I  walked in on it and I went I I don't get this and I don't even want to be in here I just need to be  in the girls washroom so I remember these things and I and I you know that made me stand out maybe  they went while I look gay but I they thought I was gay but I everyone said you look like a  girl and I think you know we talk about nurture uh nurture versus nature and you know somethin

g is  psychology University first year like it's kind of was it because I was told I looked feminine was it  because of my mom's you know it's it's actually a bit much all I know is my brain is wired a certain  way there's no explanation for it I think uh these things are just dropped on people and it just  happens and I think it's I think it's kind of rare and I've also been so the other word which  we were talking about is stealth stealth is a word that is not uh that was big when when years b

ack  that's right that you were kind of hiding it and I didn't want to speak I still stay I still  live in my smaller sort of smaller town but it's getting bigger um and I was afraid of um  people finding out but the thing is is I still found out on my own where I was at within that  so being stealth is just not saying anything to anybody because I I also felt my personal  life was my own personal life it's no one's business even though when I was psychologically  examined for many years by peop

le who didn't really know what they were doing in a small town  because they kind of weren't they didn't know um that I was um you know I was asked  really personal questions about do I uh how do you orgasm what do you think about when you  orgasm I had like really and I was really young and I went I'm not answering this this is no one's  business but my own and I know they're trying to and that was the Harry Benjamin I guess of of my  town right yeah but um the hair Benjamin standard is is skew

ed it's confusing there's misogyny in  it I hate you know like there's so many things um yeah so I was constantly in doctor's offices  by myself my family didn't support it they didn't understand it and I don't I'm not planning my  parents just passed away and I I don't blame them but it was really difficult because they do look  at you a certain way but when your brain is just that's it I don't feel I didn't feel non-binary I  you know as far as we Heroes of what it is I just want to be where I

was supposed to be and be who  I was supposed to be and I was also I questioned maybe a bit misdiagnosed because I was a very  feminine when I was younger I when I was in grade four I started to develop breasts and that  was never addressed because some boys go through like you know kind of a breast growth yeah they do  you know and and because their bodies might have a like I think it's a high investor it's something  that happens yeah and I remember that happened so when I saw other girls wit

h you know their budding  breasts you know being important I was like oh I'm the same way like I was very excited and I  thought this is fantastic it's gonna make I feel I'm excited but I see oh and then I'd go oh my God  I gotta deal with this like what am I gonna do so um my doctor when he examined you're going to be  really blunt because I've never I've never really talked about this totally right right but um I saw  my family doctor when I was 11 and I said I don't I like I told explained to

him in my whatever  way I could he says you're kind of half female and half male so but I was never termed as being  intersex because physically there wasn't anything that different so but he said this to me sort  of very assuredly but wanted me out of the room um so and sent me to an endocrinologist who I  saw for years [Music] well I was started doing the drugs before I saw him maybe by about four  or three months so it was within that year wow and then um he yes so I saw him there weren't an

y  changes happening to me I really don't think like there was just I was just taking them whenever  I could and then I'd be off for a month and then I'd be like okay there's that okay I can grab  hers and you know it's just fun to find what I could because I was so afraid of turning massive  so does that mean I was bad no that was kind of that's just how I felt and and it seemed hormones  were again you know this miracle cure you know it was like oh my God I was like wow like you know  it's ama

zing I'm and even though you know it's gonna change you physically those physical changes  take a while yeah but they're also so they change very small aspects of you it's  not a miracle Thing by any means um I didn't have much hair growth on me my  voice didn't really change over the years but I still got misgendered it wasn't like I  yeah it should have looked but you know I don't know if you relate to this one but high school  when I finished uh when I left a high school after being tormented

I went to another high  school I said I'm I'm just female I'll talk to the counselor and I got to finish school that's  how I felt I was very demanding because that's the only way you get through as you know it's  you have to demand it almost that's right and um when I went to that school what was I get  I was thinking of this thing yeah high school and then you changed High School yes you were  getting bullied I got bullied I told that school talk to the council about it and they allowed  me t

o go so I yeah so anyways I was going to get into something really important I was going  to say there and I can't remember what it was you'll remember you'll remember but but so  during this time were you uh were you a boy you were legally a boy I was legally a boy  okay even though all this stuff and I was getting all the stuff on my own I was legally  a boy okay um in school and when I got oh yeah when I got tormented at that one high school I  said I'm done I I went to another school and I e

xplained to the counselor that I was who  I was right and he didn't know at first he thought Punk Rock Girl Like You know it's like  the Bangles right you know a little bit right um I dig all that like I love all that stuff  so I was just fitting in at a scarf and had acne and you know like gawky oh I remember what I  was gonna say about all that um so when I went to that school um you yeah he didn't know and then I  told him his jaw dropped and I went this is just the way this is the way it is

and he says we'll  make it work he was great he was really good but he also introduced people who wanted me to kind  of change me so there was a boy's school he said would you talk to this man from this boys school  I was like I don't know like I just want to go to school like I just yeah you know and anyways he  brought him in and this guy said well he said you could you know you could take hormones he could  be more masculine but you maybe if you went to a boy school so they were trying to cha

nge me but  um you know I don't blame them they're trying to sort of they're trying to save me I remember that  but I felt felt so icky like that's the only word I could put for it it's just you got chick brain  and you're just in that and you're like why don't you just help me like I I is this something you  magically might know in another country or do you have a a brother or a uncle that's a doctor like  you know uh no and for all the things that you do at the time because it's high school it

's highly  stressful hormones your head's just all over the place when I look in the past and I looked at an  old you know yearbook this is sort of an aside to high school I remember I remember thinking  I want to be like them I want my boyfriend you know the token boyfriend I just want to be myself  and then when I looked at my you know my grade nine I think grade 10 or whatever and I thought  if why would I even get a photo but you're sort of trying just doing it and thinking I mean I look  it

's so hideous and oh well there you go whatever um I look back at that old yearbook and I and  I look at how ugly everybody actually does and how much I didn't not want to be but now I went  oh my God what a life I've had like I said it's incredible like who would want to be we all look  gawky some like Femme like like the boys look thin like everybody was like all over the place so  what was I worried about well it's tormentors it's people attacking when you're young making  you feel small beca

use that's what human nature does do when we compete but I'm not a con I'm  not competing I do compete to a point now do we say that's a masculine trait or a feminine  trait happens with both sexes that's right yeah I everybody's trying to get somewhere so you just  doing what you have to do to survive and and again yeah so anyways when I I yeah going through school  through all of this too is very interesting when I Tran went to the other school as well because  it was again up to that point of

high school it was absolute hell and uh every day was like  a question and you know but going to the new high school was amazing because nobody knew and  then other people would come to play basketball from another school they'd be on a team and then  they'd go do you know who that is and then sort of start gossiping about me and you know saying all  sorts of crazy things and I would get scared but I had one woman that actually I don't it's hard  to I can't even find her she was my locker she s

aw me more about she's very punk you know very Punk  again and she said she saw me and she said wow she goes you dress different I said yeah I said yeah  I'm looking for I'm your locker partner I was like okay and it was the first not within my group  like I have a few close friends then that's it but it was someone who was socialized but also  in doing different things already smartest girl in the school punk rock she had shave side head  sides of her head her hair was like this we both had gia

nt hair like a big big hair and she was  the head of the basketball team she was a plus plus student and she instantly said you're  gonna she says anything going on with you you let me know and I said so it's like she just  dropped out of nowhere I was like oh my God she's amazing so I got this Confidence from her and  that's truthful and my very close friends who um understood yeah amazing and that says a lot  about actual humans when they don't have any agenda or they just see you and that you

know I'm  gonna say that's all I ever wanted people to just to see me as a part of not separate from yeah  where I see a lot of this different I I ideas about trans today it's basically a survival space  you were in survival mode though people did they know you were trans or did they just know that  you were they just don't want to be a woman yeah they just say you you're you have a you have a  dick and you're a woman I get that all the time the kids I went to school with in the earlier  school

s I've never been apologized to and I've I've seen a few of them I'm a singer so sometimes  I'd see them no one's ever said anything to me um I still I they're kind of a count like hold  them accountable for some things sure and I should let it go but it's in the back of your head  that you just didn't like them and they they weren't they must have problems themselves but  oh for sure you know but I remember one boy in particular uh I would take a bus to school and  he'd be on the bus and he wou

ld be stoned and I and he'd say you're a woman and I was like so  upset because I just didn't want to be bothered that's right I think a lot of people who have gone  through this are sensitive there's a sensitivity to it yeah and you feel like you got your you have  your legs spread open all the time it's not a cool feeling when you just want to be you know talk to  and then if something happens you kind of get to know somebody so I yeah it was very interesting  and I just remember being ostraci

zed in front of a bunch of people and I walked in actually I was  taking typing it was like my third year typing classes I don't know totally worth it I mean yeah  it's total like crazy in my head now so yeah still I was like a b like how you do it right yeah and  um yeah remember I got I was ostracized on one bus ride by this kid he did it constantly he I was  actually very afraid of him he was kind of he's really creepy and I went to type in class and my  typing teacher she was like a she was

awful she's a mean lady she's very mean and she said you're  late and I had tears coming down my eyes like obviously and I knew this group of girls around  me who were like you're a girl they just love me like we were just we're just acted they were nice  girls but girls on the other side of the room were not accepting of me and we're on the opposite side  room like I was always treated like a freak and I dressed weird and I I didn't you know I was just  kind of accepting of that myself but I wa

lked in this teacher said this to me and she's she was  very mean she was odd to me she just didn't like me and we had a glass division in between our  two typing rooms and I walked into the taping room I can't believe this happened I slammed the  door so hard it had glass on it and all the glass broke and I just bawled my eyes out and everyone  in the room sort of got up because it was loud and I was like I'm getting the hell out of this place  I cannot take these people um yeah so that's when

again that's when I went to high school the other  high school well I mean I I thank you for talking about it's very difficult I know those memories I  have lots of them but it's so important for people to hear this and the struggle that you know you  had to go through as a young person and dealing with all the you know the actual misgendering and  the real bully behavior that people but it says it says that the world doesn't understand us and  they haven't really to this day they still on some

level don't understand us oh absolutely absolutely  they they don't and I you know it's I I'm the guy who who doesn't come to a mad about the fact that  people don't don't understand us I come to it with this idea that I need to bring you know light  Eve here I need to bring you here so that then you know people can't see you know you walk the  world as a woman no one would ever know nobody would ever know that you were born male you know  it makes me feel you look like a woman you talk like all

of it and to be honest with you I think  people respect that because you do just fit in I think I'm gonna ask you is that really basically  that what you want just to sort of fit in as well um you know what I I wanted the white picket fence  I wanted the job I wanted everything because I felt I deserved it those things are hard to get  when you don't socialize when you're younger and and but I did get this I you know I did get the  stuff I wanted I got married our marriage didn't last after 14

years but he yeah we I still love  him like we're you know um I guess I wanted to just be myself and I've never you know people talk  about tribes and you know places you know they're part of the community or whatever I did I I'm a  singer and I made electronic music so I performed for Pride day three times never said anything to  anybody I've I've just did it and I went do I have to say I am like am I supposed to say something  but I'm also concerned because some of the some of the people that

are there are may not accept me  or maybe they think I'm hiding and I was worried about on being in a small town and being maybe  ostracized in a different way because I felt that before so I would I was on stage I had people in  I used to wear bra and panties on stage right on right and I was and I did my thing and I had this  song I did or did this set and all the dancers were friends of mine and they were all half naked  on stage and they had a way that they performed and I remember I got you

know heterosexual woman  like a lot of people of course it went well but I got this something that was written I think  in swerve or something and it said that I was um you know I shouldn't be there that's not  a place for me so I went and then I thought should I say something I've always guarded my  privacy I think privacy was is very important but yeah you know but in the end um maybe you  know someone look at me as just being you know selfish but no yeah I don't know how do I don't  know how

you feel about that I'm going to tell you this every single one of us it's our independent  Journey we're not here we are not here to do other people's Journeys and that is really important  message what you're saying I think I disagree with those people first off you can show up and  be you Eve yeah your trans situation I always say this the trans situation is a means in a way for  us to sort of walk the world happy that's how I I equate trans to just like a plug-in and then now  we're our bat

tery pack and now we're able to just but we're not always talking about our battery  pack like we have our battery pack here it's I want to be buck and you want to be even why do  we have to tell people that we're trans we don't have to do that that that is not that's the thing  that I find different from today yeah I'm gonna go back to the stealth right like many of us in the  earlier time times were about Stealth we wanted to sort of like I keep saying coexist or sort of  you know morph into b

eing men and women and I don't particularly think it's anybody's business  that we're transsexual if we don't want it to be exactly exactly and I think the stealth community  you won't know it exists because there are a lot of people who don't talk about it that's right  that's so true and they're high you're not you can't say they're hiding it's a confidence level  that's right and I hope anybody out there who is stealth who even wants to contact me I want there  to be a group of stealth people

because thank you there's confusion and and right now I I mean  you've got a trans situation you've got non-binary people you've got LGBT and then you got lgbtq and  they are lgbtq plus plus I know they're all the same thing but they're they're different they're  different they're different that's right yeah and and I think as much as the world has changed like  we've changed in a great way like I still think there's a lot going on there's a lot of dialogue  going on but the dialogue also can't

just be people who actually are just maybe they're younger  and they feel they're they're on a mission there's a bit of a mission the mission isn't always for  everybody because maybe that person's already seen not part of it so maybe the mission should  be changed a bit accept any information you get if because that information is important  and I like I don't know I've I've helped a few people who have gone through it who I  decided to just tell them because they knew they were going through

it and they were  like I never knew that about you I said well I've been you know I'm just telling you  this is how I feel and this might help you and um it does feel good to help people that are  in the situation who are confused or they're private privacy is a big deal and privacy it  doesn't exist in our world right now and it's actually infringing on a lot of different things  in our own personal lives online it's infringing you need to pull back and take your privacy back  I know that's rig

ht it's this people people feel oh gosh thank you Eve for saying all of this it's  so important people need to understand that not all of us are okay with outing ourselves or need  to be out that's like it reminds me of the early days of gay when people were outing gay actors  right like and you know Ellen is gay well maybe Ellen doesn't want you to know she's gay and she  doesn't need she's not our spokesperson and I'm not your spokesperson and neither are you so I  really highly appreciate you

saying that because there are people who are watching this who are  stealth and don't want people to know they're trans and that doesn't mean they're trans phobic  it means that so that's why you know you know Eva I I do equate difference between transgender  and transsexual you might not and that's okay but for me it's important for me to show like I  just wanted to become a man and you know I'm not a trans person I don't I don't claim to be trans I  claim to be a transsexual who has gender dy

sphoria and needed to transition my outside to fit my  inside real basic and and wanted to look like and act like a man and that's why there's a difference  what's happening today trans is an identity Choice exactly yeah exactly yeah yeah I I totally agree  with you about that and it might get you farther like I don't know what it's I remember when to get  you nowhere that's right you get ostracized the whole bit so again just that time but that's about  it because I could honestly say if it was

us now we'd feel the same but I think the learning curve  would be definitely different yeah and we would be analyzing it differently yeah but I don't think  either of those um analyzing on another side is is neither conservative or or like uh sorry democrat  or republican conservative or liberal yeah they're they're different reasons people do different  things right so it's actually it's better if we kind of get along and get an answer because  right now the answers aren't really coming and a

ctually I just I wrote this down yesterday there  was a speech by a non like a non-binary child at a speech um in Saskatchewan okay and that's 10 years  old and they said they were trans and they were non-binary how is that possible I I don't know  but I feel that that's confusing a child it is it's really confusing a child it is 100 confusing  a child because non-binary and trans are not the same they're not the same thing but they're giving  them this language oh thank you gosh I appreciate yo

u so much they're giving them this language  that says well you can be whatever you want well you kind of can't and also if you're going to be  one you can't be the other it's like saying just take all the candy you don't need to share it with  anybody else you get to have it all but we're not teaching I mean we're teaching Bad Manners we're  teaching bad ways of being we're gonna we're T we're blowing up a bubble around this child and  what happens when that bubble bursts well and then I think

if again I think of jazz I go oh  God like very it became a media thing I do get concerned because I think jazz is jazz would have  been me if I had blockers okay completely okay I know it right because I was like totally dolls  what the hell do why did you buy me a train track what are you doing right on okay my parents are  just trying to bring up a child that's right but um and then I have a you know you know I have a  relative that she's very very like she's into boy stuff so it's like okay

so I kind of would  go well so trains can be very feminine too um but yeah I think uh understanding yeah it's  so difficult to um when I hear younger people and and there's a struggle um again it they  really should be learning in school everyone ex I feel lots of kids are very accepting of course  and if those kids are worried about the bathroom um they should really allow them to go in the  bathroom to go to the bathroom I'm sorry it just let them go to the bathroom just let them  go to the ba

throom they're not doing anything deviant they're they're not like they're not  and sexual safe sexual feelings like when I when I was younger I wanted to sit on men's laps  like I was like six I know it sounds awful nothing happened to me I'm just letting you know well I  don't think it's sexual I think it's like you just wanted to be around men maybe or something I want  to I thought they were cute and I was like all into it like I was like you know but kids do have  a sexuality action of cour

se they do when they're younger they're it's in their head but they're not  sure they don't know and they don't know yeah and that you know it's it's definitely confusing so if  you're bringing the trans part of it into it and it's also getting getting bonked down by drag like  the confusion to the public of what it is and the decisions decision making going on in the schools  it's very confusing and I'm more concerned about just mental their mental health as you've talked  about in your other d

iscussions with everybody Jordan the other day with Blair like I it's it's  discuss like there needs to be um there needs to be kind of a good I think it's it could be a  regional thing maybe regionally there needs to be certain guidelines for certain regions but I don't  know because if the federal government makes the decision it becomes weird look what's happening in  the US with drag queens like it's just like oh my God that's Bonkers like it makes no sense no it  doesn't but you know that's

how it always works here in the United States is it it you know goes  from one side to the other back and forth until nobody's looking how do we make this work for all  of us nobody ever does that it's always about well this side and that side and I'm I'm the guy who  really does stay more middle ground there's got to be a way you know kids are vulnerable I have a  10 year old kids are vulnerable I watch what goes on in school I participate in all the meetings I  participate in set he's going t

hrough sex ed right now at 10 right so I want to see what's happening  what they're talking about I put I go there as a parent and and so but my point being is kids grow  up fast and especially today way more than ever they see things online on those games I mean the  questions my son asks me I never asked my parents at 10 right he wanted to know what hemp was and  I'm like oh my God I'm like how do I answer this but an employer so that's great so then I say to  myself but I'm the guy who doesn'

t lie to my child right but I also because I never want to be in  that space well Dad you didn't tell me you told me so I kind of try to find that roundabout way  to answer it so I did I said well it's a man he's a manager or she's a manager a manager of what I  go I'm like a manager of dancers I said dancers that's incredible he's like okay just like that  right okay but but my point being is Right kids today are asking questions like that so going  back to you and the kids in the schools and t

he toilets just let the kids will find there's two  trans or non-binary kids that my kids school at my kids school right so they're already and  you just said it at 10 years old they don't even know what that means though they don't  understand what that means they don't no way no way I knew uh well because of all the terms I  mean the information flow of what it is is bigger than what we had so they they do see a lot yeah  a lot of I would say 50 of parents maybe know what their kids look at on

line maybe but there's  a lot of information being thrown at them they're being manipulated by a lot of websites that's  right websites when I'm saying websites they're being manipulated by apps it's continuous thing  and then we're old school we're like websites um yeah I feel for kids that are just trying to  get through and I mean it's good that the terms the term is again nothing wrong with the terms  being thrown around no but you can't you have to analyze things have to be analyzed you can

't just  accept them for what they are and go well but oh this is the yeah this is one one thing I was going  to say about non-binary like maybe I don't know if anybody feels this way but I was thinking  this child maybe is considering that they are maybe a different gender so when you're 10 years  old saying you're non-binary would be a way of saying actually I think I could be but I'm not  sure yeah so or something yeah like they they do need kind of an assurance because all these  terms have

appeared so that they might be just an important thing for them to say just so you  know the bathroom I think all bathrooms should be actually in schools could be stalls with no holes  like upper or like they do in Europe they do that in Europe it's just a small every restroom has  a stall exactly and I want to both use the stall totally that's right I've been there I get it  yeah totally me too and if stay in a school you have to watch because kids will congregate you  know they do different th

ings because they're kids right yeah um smoking in the bathroom you  know like when you're in junior high like high school so if they need that Assurance then you  need um a teacher to walk in once in a while and make sure kids aren't smoking and maybe one kid  doesn't Jam themself in a bathroom there should be a maybe also if they're in the can do you know  and they don't resp like there should be some sort of alarm I must thinking like my head just to  say they've been in there for 20 minutes

is there an emergency and you knock on the door and  say what's going on are you okay and if someone's in there with them then you know maybe they're  doing something else and they're just goofing around right but there needs to be a system that  way for younger kids yeah like because they're younger kids do goofy things and they're going  to gossip and they're going to go in the corn they're going to smoke right or do whatever but I  think and also they're clicky they are very clicky yeah yeah

young kids oh totally they they also  do separate themselves by by I know not my son he doesn't want to hang out with the girls he's  totally freaked out by the girls right oh yeah yeah so there's that that too so but I do think so  so going back to the kids claiming this non-binary thing for me it's just gender non-conforming  kids have always been gender non-conforming I mean forever and so maybe that's a label for the  kids who are feeling different they could be gay they could be trans they

could be whatever right  just just different feeling and it's a way that's why like you mentioned punk rock I was a full-on  punk rocker I know yeah right yes because it made me feel a part of something that was different I  couldn't join the Rockers because I just felt way more different than that so non-binary to me is  like a form of punk rock it's uh oh it actually it is you're you're totally dead on like that is  like yeah totally what a great comparison because um yeah like I was really oh

I was really into  the B-52s oh yeah electronic music to this day because that's fine you brought me pleasure I  made songs because of those bands I went wow like but I'm in Canada and it's like rock maple syrup  and like I don't know like hilarious but I didn't but I didn't hate Rock I love psychedelic I like  recent music I like so much well I mean I produce stuff so it just like it's there I'm totally into  music so when I when I hear that like that totally makes sense but the funny thing is

I tried to make  alliances with a few like especially my I had an art class I took an extra year of art when I was  finished high school because I just loved it and I of course it did well in band and creative arts  you know of course you did you move into it right right but um I remember trying to make alliances  with um actually this is preemie going to the other high school so I was like you know as a boy  like and I was like okay but I don't know it's weird and I remember trying to make all

iances  with some of the girls in the class that were Punky but they just didn't want to have anything  to do with me and because I was a question mark and because people couldn't tell whether or not  you were a boy or a girl no but I had to I was my name was you know I had to be still boy name  that's his name and they were like oh you know and you know what you know what I found too this  is interesting um I yeah I like all I I love we have immigrants and like we have so many nice  people and

so many new people with different outlooks coming here and they have to kind of get  used to be North Americans too I can't imagine how crazy it is for them but um uh yeah I think yeah  I remember when we had a we had a one there was one girl her dad taught social studies when I was  very young and he was in he was not nice he was just one of those teachers you just don't he just  freak out and his daughter went to the same school so and I knew her and she was you know I did she  was a princess

you know like you know I knew that and she was from India and I felt that they  were really smart Indian girls in the school I thought they were like so cool and a couple  they were younger than me they were put ahead in class I went wow they're really smart like  I know that I was a pretty good student but I was like recognized really smart and um I found  I got made fun of usually by her or other girls they would taunt me a lot and they would make  fun of me a lot and it was funny because I'm

like I'm just like you please stop in my head  so that it was weird because women have been interpret it a certain way and I'm in  this situation but I feel like those girls but they I was an easy target because maybe  they're having a bad day because I know it's when you know being a woman like you know  all my life really female like it's it's unbelievably like you were in the you were in  the entertainment business there is a thing about women and things do are difficult and  you're you're in

terpreted as you know [ __ ] I I you know I did a studio show wow you're really  likes that man said you're really [ __ ] with him and I was like no I'm just trying to get things  accomplished and and those sort of things but men do get interpreted differently oh totally and I  get pushed out of conversation sometimes too wow where I would be Dr like they'd be talking music  and I'd be and it'd be men and I'd be this like oh yeah well you make weird music and it was like  and I was like I can't

throw anything into this so I just leave like I would just get frustrated  so those those misunderstandings about women over the years they they don't really exist in social  media because we're all everyone except you know misogyny is not great and it's like we all know  that's misogyny what just happened misogyny but yeah that's what I'm saying but in real but in  real life that does happen still so oh sure and being like yeah ultra thin like you had ffs like  you know all these things like di

fferent things you also get interpreted and if you're out in your  Trends it's like like Blair you know and Blair's like great you know I think Blair has a real  fair look at things and I I have Blair because thank you it's an end and I think there's also  this interpretation of her of of her and I think is it is it because the way she looks like I  don't know what there's jealousy behind that totally not getting it and I think Blair's just  doing what Blair does that's right and that's the way

it goes and um yeah and I think I think  just interpreting people women as they are if you if they're trans or they're not yeah there's  still this assessment because you have to look at the way they there's like gotta look at that  you're automatically looking at the way they look that's right and that's a yeah it's an auto look  thing that's in our brains right I think it is in our brain yeah and and that's like getting ma'am  and Sir like you know I I don't like being I've gone out and I've h

ad ma'am I've heard ma'am 25  times I'm like I gotta get out of here it's like you know it's something you your whole life you  want you know and then you don't want it anymore I don't want to hear ma'am anymore I'm tired  of it you know what I feel there's a servant mentality that exists in just the public about  jobs any kind of job there's a servant don't don't bother you get out of my city and I've been out  of town lots of times no one goes to that extent like honestly I've really noticed i

t it seems in  small towns there's still it's like how can like they're worried about tips actually tips should be  included and you shouldn't be served me you don't need to serve me yeah I'm I I'm totally in like  you're finishing Universe years here's ten dollars like yeah right but just like tipping oh tipping's  another thing I don't get me sorry about tipping tipping should be included it should be included  no talking about it's done no that's right it's a pressure thing then yeah how much

do I tip you and  I totally agree it should just be in the bill and you're done you're never you're done you know  you never have to think about it so so so so I get what you're you're saying and all these labels  and all of that but the and also the misogyny what happened to you was full-on misogyny and you get  to feel it as a trans woman oh yeah yeah you know also people need to understand that exists within  for trans women as well well especially because you live your life as a woman I mea

n they're that  you live you look like I only walk like I want to talk I mean no one would ever and I jump like a  woman yeah that whatever that means right whatever that you know what I mean just you know but I  want the world to see that there's a difference and today we see a different type of trans woman  and you know a trans woman who doesn't necessarily want to look like you yeah as a trans woman who  doesn't want to necessarily sort of go and again you're an adult you do what you need to

do but on  the flip side of that it's the People Like Us do want to be seen as men and women and do want to  sort of I don't know is it playing the game or is it you know molding ourselves so that we can  walk the world in this way so I guess my question to you is that's a trans woman who transitioned  like a million years ago and has lived your life this way struggled clearly you struggled to get  to it do you feel on some level that there is this group of trans women that are do I use the  wor

d misrepresenting or do you feel how do you feel about the trans women who are in beards and  dresses and expecting people to call them women I I I feel more that it's it's women's you know  it's hard women who are women who are cisgendered it's really it's kind of unfair yeah it it it  also is a spin on social media that becomes bigger yeah thank you and you know so it blows it out of  proportion yeah and then that's right we have you know one that went to the White House and I don't  need to s

ay who it is that's right you don't and I don't understand it's like flagrant kind of  beauty and I just like I don't know uh right I need like it's all in all the it's just kind of  it's cringe worthy thank you and I feel it could be a lot more like I believe in outrageousness I  do well yeah you're an artist and and as I am too as you know I come from the world of sex of sex  and yeah of course I'm all about that don't get me wrong that 100 about being you need to be I love  people who sort of

push against narratives I love you know trying to expose that is everything isn't  black and white a hundred percent I have no issues with that whatsoever but I have an issue with is  a certain part of the trans Community coming to this space and sort of taking over The Narrative  such as the non-binary I do not believe non-binary is trans I believe non-binary is non-binary  exactly and I have an issue I have an issue with this people coming in and speaking well  anyone can be trans that's not

true not anyone can be trans you have to I do believe in gender  dysphoria and I do believe that's why there's a new transition why else would you transition  there's I don't understand this idea that you don't need it I don't know if it's happening over  in your country but over here it's like you don't need dysphoria to be trans well no one said you  need it you actually have it or you don't have it so well I think there's also labeling to  get somewhere and I do believe I you know if I mean I

remember a boy years ago that was  wearing he would wear ponchos to school and they were girls ponchos and I remember  everyone saying that's a girl's Poncho to him and kind of and I was like well I guess  he feels good in that like I it was up to him and I I actually believe like men are even now  like a lot of men dress more like colorful they they're they're really the metrosexual thing  happened in O2 and then it became do you like I'm a stylist too so I I remember having to tell  men you d

o you want to meet a girl or do you want do you want to get a job and they didn't even know  how to use soap this is this is 2002. I'm telling you [Music] hilarious I'm like not like we have  a soap you could use right here right here and um you know and I think the puffing up the peacock  sort of it's a bit of a syndrome there are a lot of there are men that are very puffed up about  their looks but they always happen there's always a group of men that want to look good and look  sexy or they s

ell a lot of cars and they have chains around their necks I'm talking like this is  years ago I did actually biggest car salesman in Canada and I did his hair this this guy and he  was like green sweat suit seriously this is 22 years ago hairy chest and chains and he did that  and he had dark thick hair and you know what I I liked it in that I'm really into vintage so  I like so cool but it's so bad because he's just nothing's working right here but I think  does the puffing up of styles for men

does it it kind of like for women the Tomboy wearing  pants you know Catherine Hepburn they were like yep oh if you're wearing pants you must be  one of those women that's right like a lesbian it's like no not necessarily she could be but who  cares it doesn't matter but who cares um exactly like you know so if but men men's fashion has  changed a lot and I've been around people have and I've seen people dress it's kind of in between  and I'm like some of the guys and I'm like this is really co

ol they're very very comfortable with  themselves and I think it's groovy and they look it is so stylish I'm just like blown away or go  to another city people are more like different styles and yeah so I'm wondering sometimes if  it it's to fit in and it's for some maybe it's they feel a real desire to be a little bit more  feminine and that's super cool but maybe there's a desire for some to say I agree with what was  that painting knit do you remember this there was a football star who painte

d his nails because  I think his son was trans and then all these men painted their nails that's right it was about  seven years ago yeah I think I remember and I thought that's good but you better you better  stick to what you think just putting nail polish on doesn't mean like nothing you better believe in  the cause that's right and even the cause because the cause is difficult for a lot of people that's  an excellent statement you just made and and and I can lay that over top of the young pe

ople today  so they're they're reaching for something you know they they think they want to be different which  is great that we're encouraging that but what's not great to me is that we're shoving them into uh  you know this trance you must be trans if you're a girl and you know you're masculine all of a sudden  a masculine girl is trans I'm like what no what happened to gender stereo getting rid of gender  stereotypes what happened to just letting a girl wear Pat what you said about Catherine

Hepburn  what happened to you know so what you're masculine how how is that leading to trans and you've never  had gender dysphoria in your life and at 14 all of a sudden now you're like hey Mom I'm trans you  know we we gotta listen to this as older people in this community as well as adults we need to listen  to what these kids are saying because they're saying it not because they have gender dysphoria  they're saying it because they want to or need to fit into something like we all have but h

ere's the  difference between wanting to be punk rocker and wanting to be trans and trans is on some level  you're taking a space of could be hormonal it could be surgical these you know a 15 there's 15  year old kids going on hormones now and then maybe in a couple years I don't know what's happening  over in Canada but in the United States we have a ton of de-transitioners it's not happening  here as much it's more a lot of interesting but I'm surprised because I was told I was the  only if it

means transitional I'll just talk in today's terms yeah I was only transitioner in  three or four provinces along with somebody else yeah that's right I don't know like really  okay it sounds really glamorous but I just find it a little bit weird uh but it's true but  you know but it but when it came down to it yeah because it's a hard I think they know it's hard  I think the medical community does want to help um but I think they don't they don't have it  down yet I just think it's yeah it's n

ot and it's and again it's confusing and it's confusing  enough when when we were young like I mean um I think it's more confusing now because they  have the social media and and now anyone do you know in America I don't know there but anyone  could be trans if you say you're trans you're trans see here it's it's the same it's the same  that could be a very slippery slope yeah it really could definitely it's the same here but um I  noticed it an influx of transitioners probably about nine years

ago ten years ago and it was seen  to be a lot of I thought oh they must be taking hormones but they had like it was they appeared  to be young women that had beards and I kind of went okay and then my friend she has a store and  she said there's a lot of she a she I told her about what I went through when I was younger and  she says there's a lot of kids that come in here that she goes I'm I'm not sure what's going on  and yet they were so stringent about how they did things in the city years a

go but I thought well  who's okay all this and they look they looked are they happy to be that way and then you know  again we didn't get into the transitioners but um yeah under 18. you know what I would have in a  heartbeat been someone completely different when I was very young but when I look at the amount  of people detransitioning and it seems like there I feel better I feel really bad for them and  and they're so they look so down yeah and I and I think yes that needs to really be okay we

ll if  you do this and I didn't know about blockers that blockers um did some other they weren't I thought  blockers were safe I wasn't under nothing blockers were safe for years they used to say that to  me and I was right they say it to all of us they're not safe that's something that really  needs to be nipped in the bud totally nobody over 18 like if you're under 18 that it's okay  like when I was younger it went on and on and on and I had and I had to wait till I was 26 yeah  because I was

like had to get bottom surgery but then there's the god the doc the god doctor in  Quebec that does everything and he's you know I was going to get everything done and then oh  well your Province isn't covering this anymore so you'll have to give me eight thousand dollars  and like just you know you know popping my bubble on you know bottom surgery wow and when I think  about that now and and how much waiting around I did that was the extreme opposite so I feel like  I had the extreme opposite s

upport yes yes but now it's this extreme of yup no problem yep no  problem that's right and you know what there's also a sales of drugs selling this stuff doctors  doctors need tips if they're good jobs I think it's peace work gotta make money off the drugs  I think it's a lot more than what people think and if you're not in a position to afford it  because this costs money all of it costs money and you also have to keep your head together  you have to you know there's a lot of things um you you

it's really UNF it's it seems it is  unfair but it's not enough information and the information needs to be clear and the information  there's information for people in it that needs to be revised yeah I would love to be I would  love to be in that meeting like I want to be on that panel like yeah we both we both should  like I'd be that's right I agree with you they don't have people like us though part of that  for some reason well I wonder if it's Aid being but that being said you know we've

been transition  a long time and I you would think that that you would think that they would want to hear from  people like us it's like we don't not want you to transition of course we want you to we just  what you just said Eve we want it to be safe for you we want you to know this is something that  takes a while to happen it's not a flip of the switch and next thing you know and you know these  are the things that I think kids aren't being told are young people I don't say kids you know  yo

ung people being told like this is a lifelong trip you're gonna take it's not I'm gonna put  it on now and it's all done well and if they if they're doing bottom surgery and kids that  haven't had had blockers they don't have enough skin that's right and no one says that because the  penis gets larger and then it's whatever right so good you need to have the um stuff to do it now  the thing is too I wanted to highlight this too just I don't know if you agree a lot harder I  know the bottom surge

ry for um trans men for Trans men I can't believe how hard it is it is  so when I saw a scar around the I was like what let me see the interviews because I always keep  an eye on the interviews and why did they have a scar on their arm like that's just like too  much like and then I didn't know to what extent it was because I don't relate to it but now I do  it I understand it completely um with with uh it was very I've been I've been so like I gotta tell  you I was lucky I'm just lucky that I'm

orgasmic stuff like oh my God you are not a problem you are  very lucky very lucky so the the man that actually did my surgery was in he actually was living in  my town for a bit so they allowed him to do it it was very fast I think I mentioned that on the  pre-interview that um it didn't happen um like I I had so many roadblocks and then all of a sudden  it's like well you're gonna have to take December 24th and just like okay well I guess it'll be like  my Christmas you're always playing Chri

stmas gift um I was very lucky and um but I'm hearing I don't  know if I'd you know they're doing surgeries in other countries and it's like I don't if you  don't know the country and you don't go there regularly that's right there might be an issue  there could be a language barrier you might not feel like you're being taken care of because you  don't understand the language yeah there's a lot of elements to this and you need your family  with you when you have this done I was like had my kidne

y removed like yeah I stayed at some  crocamini story story and only my closest friends knew what was going on and then my mother found  out and that was a different story altogether but but she I mean I told her but she just didn't want  to listen but that's how it was don't hate her um no no parents have all kinds of situations we  have to have empathy for parents because oh you know they're they're dealing with something pretty  drastic there totally and then but again with uh this the surger

ies it's yeah I it's interesting I  did play a um uh have I want my titties off party like that's what it was called yeah and I didn't  understand it and I thought yeah and the first thing in my mind I thought in my head was well is  she getting in this is he getting a hysterectomy that's all I thought in my head because I thought  you like it's a lot like I was thinking cancer too you're having everything removed when I  have a friend who's had everything removed in her body because there's a h

igh incidence of  sort of getting cancer at a young age she's had her breast tattooed retouched she showed  he's like wow it's amazing like good for her um but when um yeah I thought about that that  person in particular and I thought that person I remember a lot of people came I was I DJ'd this  party was lots of people young people supportive I thought that's really amazing like you're gonna  make money like that's what you you need to do it guess you need to do that right yeah but this  perso

n has disappeared out of existence I don't know where like maybe they went stealth I don't  know maybe that's again we're back to the stealth thing do you want to talk about it or not it's  your personal decision stealth is your journey yeah I was going to go on more about Stealth  we didn't talk as much about it but stealth is privacy on your terms I wanted to that's right  thank you I I I I love that that that means a lot to me thank you for saying that because people  need to understand some

of us just want to transition and go back into the world and be that  man and woman and walk the world which you did I think you did that Eve I think I did okay and you  did great it was difficult ideally and this is one other thing trans people you know if you're  not fully in it I there's not a day it goes by that I don't go I don't like this part of me it's  it's something that's stuck in you and it doesn't really go away but then I realized everybody you  have to always look at the bright si

de of if you have some sort of thing about yourself yeah  just go well actually there are other people with lives that are completely devastating good  and this is it is it's kind of would it would it be third world I don't know but we're like we're  we have first world problems that's right it's we do and and it's just be real about it be eccentric  be yourself like I believe in being Accenture tell what like seriously go for it I love everything  everybody is doing in fashion and makeup I thin

k it's like oh my God if I just have that man but  now I go and buy it like I go and get it online like I know and and actually and one other thing  is I was going to say is um uh oh I was gonna talk about Trixie Mattel oh I love Trixie Trixie's  attitude and kakya's attitude about just like drag is incredible and I think wow you can just learn  so much from everybody everybody's got something to offer if you if you're if you get lost or  you want to learn some tricks or do something different j

ust look at what you got we never had  this stuff we never had this stuff we never right oh my gosh you know I think that's that's such a  great message I'm really thank you and I hope some young people hear that like you know it's you're  always gonna find something wrong it's just how we are you know like I I hate the size of my hands  or my feet are tiny and I wear shoes that are too big because I don't want everybody to think I have  lady feet like you just you have these crazy ideas in your

head right oh and you cooked them when you  were younger like I remember I worked okay this is this funny this is a side I know we you've got  to wrap it up soon but this is so funny I worked you know some terrible terrible job like selling  magazines at 14 and with my friend we sat at the back of her room and you know and like I have my  own issues going on but I just doing this job with this friend of mine and uh thinking about how  like I'm doing this I'm wearing like a belt and some little

thing and I was Tiny like a side like  tiny size two or something and um this person was sitting beside me and I remember they kept looking  at my hands I said why do you keep looking at my hands and they said your hands are so big it  was such a weird thing to hear and I was like what I don't know like why is why are you so  strange like I don't know it's like I didn't even know what to say I actually wanted to just  say F off but you know but I I was young and I didn't know what else to say ri

ght of course and  the people yeah people picking at you know certain parts of you but the funny thing is that's not the  point and at but at the time it's devastating to hear these little things about your body when  it's actually really would you say I have a I I like I knew a woman from Portugal her hands are  like Johnny so she worked desert nails and she's great like I don't know I don't go wow you got  some pretty big house no but that but see those kind of and if you did it to a biologica

l female  or male that they would just laugh or whatever but we already have it in our heads that our feet are  just where our hands are this way or my face so so it kind of comes to us in a different manner  that sticks with so you're right it does stick with with us and those are the things again those  are the things that might never leave you even in transition transition isn't an end-all be it's  it is just a means in a way to sort of cope on some level I doubt that stuff will ever go away 

I I don't think so either and maybe with more confident younger people now they they would just  go whatever like not necessarily I don't think so what do you think no not with somebody who has  actual real gender dysphoria I don't think you're always going to have these sort of things that you  know that stay with you because it's always been a sort of contention part of who you are and you  know it's it's just because you transition and now you look like a woman doesn't mean that those  other

things that happen instilled in your brain are just gonna magically I think we learn how  to deal we're good at dealing with the stuff and compartmentalizing it and moving forward um Eve  You're such so lovely we could be here for hours but I don't you know how people's extension  extent uh attention span can be a little much these days including mine uh that I'll bring you  back because I'm pretty sure a lot of people would want to know more about your story it's just fast  I hope you write a

book I have well I actually have a book I've written half well it's more or  less half a book at this oh great oh great and they're my someone's thinking of uh doing kind  of a screenplay with me about my life but it's funny I I live in funny me too me too you know  what I'm talking about love it so Jordan said that last week we're all funny love it we need  a funny show I I love it let's be in this show I want funny because you know what does that it  helps people it really does it really helps

people understand us on this weird way that they're like  they it makes people drop their [ __ ] and be like oh my God that's so funny and I don't know it  makes people relatable on on some level and I think it helps people to sort of not you know  I feel like there's a lot of anger towards us these days because there's a lot of anger coming  from us and I think that that's causing you know a blockage in in us moving you know upward instead  of sort of stopping people from definitely well I wan

na I gotta thank you because you are you've  been out there and being so I listened to both sides I always have and that's right when I heard  you I was like I want to hear a Buck Angel ask the snakes I never never seen your work actually  thank you I've seen your photos excellent I went wow like like that's incredible and when I got got  to know who you were I was like and then you were online and I was like and then again but I've been  watching anything you know about Tula from Tula oh great

great I think too like there's so many  amazing people uh uh um Amanda Lear if that I don't even know people were dissecting dissecting  it was like it was driving me crazy these people are like amazing and did so many great things yes  and yeah um yeah so I always think like both uh uh mtff Dems like it's a big deal and when you  accomplish it this is the other thing I gotta say this there's always a silver lining once if  you think there's this sort of Roadblock or you feel weird there's alway

s this other like thing  that can take you out of it like don't worry don't expect everything to be amazing but because  it's tough but I I can honestly rest in bed at night and go wow like I I don't even think about  this really but the thing is is I do think about the confusion right now because it's there and you  feel it because it's just out there so yeah it is oh thank you you know seriously it's so important  that we hear from people like you and I think it gives a different perspective o

ut there and people  can see you've been living your life this way and you're you know a successful person and that's  what I want people to see I want people to see successful transitions who don't necessarily  push on the world but you joined the world you did you joined the world and yeah that's important  message for me to give to the world to say look this woman totally made herself happen in the in  even in the face of adversity as a youngster here you are being an awesome human being not

just an  awesome woman but an awesome human being oh thank you so I I think and again to you as well and  I and I think there's just so much more that's right that can happen with with all of this and  I hope that everybody just I don't know it's it's gonna come together yeah it will come together it  will it will I have no doubt in my mind about it it will and so so with that everybody thanks for  watching us thanks thanks so much for listening to even give lots of cool comments like you always

  do and I'll put all her information where you can reach her and you know sort of support her work  and all of that and listen to her cool music so thanks again I'll see you guys all next week and  um have a great rest of your day bye thanks about