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When style is important - Vanity Stats

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Viva La Dirt League

2 years ago

ah hello adventurer ah hello adventurer welcome to both yeah i need to fight the monks of high hergspire so i need psychic damage protection well you have come to the right place here at Bodgers- yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  skip i don't have all day those monks aren't going to  exile themselves are they so psychic damage protection now let me see what i can find for you oh and make sure the psychic  damage prediction is decent i don't want any of this 10 percent crap. 50 percent minimum and m
ake sure it looks cool i've  got a whole vibe going i want to keep it consistent so i don't  want any of this tatty sh*t i think i have got just the thing for you great the cutting edge of psychic  damage protection accessories okay good Forged in the hell fires of schmargonrog perfect enchanted by the cursed warlocks of shaman dora and offering a whopping 99 percent psychic damage protection okay that's what i'm talking about give it here you go what is that this is it no no no no no no you mus
t have  something cooler back there but i thought you wanted psychic damage protection this is 99 effective come on you gotta have at least something in black and it reflects two times  the damage back at the caster what about that one it's got a cool gem it increases your hp come on you gotta have something with at least  gold trim or some cool glyphs or something i'm sorry this is all that is fine oh oh hold up it only works if you put it on go on oh now don't you look like a picture oh hold u
p what? i nearly forgot the final piece have a wonderful day

Comments

@_mwk

"This item is cursed, and cannot be removed."

@cruelfish4824

99% psychic reduction, reflects 2x back AND increases HP? ... I don't even care, that goes on every single character.

@valendrien6517

I was waiting for Bodger to go, "Oh one more thing, that'll be fifteen thousand gold."

@BNuts

Never cross the NPCs who supply you with anything, and never cross your Healers.

@rynedrogemuller6397

The NPCs are becoming more aware of the players around them and I love it.

@duythuchoang5095

I always find it hilarious when a legit full plate armor is worse than a leather strip that covers 1/4 of your body

@MsYunaFires

I was half-expecting the headgear to auto-unequip his entire outfit.

@ikigai4life437

I was waiting for Bodger to claim that for even better stats, he has to wear the complete set and hands him a bunny suit

@diuler1783

pretty sure Shmagenrock is how Bodger calls his workshop, "forged in the fire of Shmagenrock" sounds way cooler than "yeh, just made it in my workshop"

@ShortHax

Come on Ben, it’s not embarrassing if everyone who sees it is dead before they laugh

@dxjxc91

RPG equipment be like: Me: "ah yes, this will go perfectly with my striped pink vest of weapon immunity, my lime shorts environment and area denial immunity, and my sparkly purple pointed shoes of unrestricted movement."

@noiJadisCailleach

I just realized, the only thing that can compound on Rowans' ridiculous characters is Bens' ridiculous and angry characters. Perfect team.

@PLAjcmdaddy

Looks like that game doesn’t have a “Hide Headgear” option.

@slomcraft69

"it’s not embarrassing if everyone is wearing it" -Sun Tzu, The Art Of RPG

@adamnwizard

"Don't you EVER....fucking cross me.." lmao even in Epic NPC Man

@XX-sp3tt

There's something always satisfying at seeing the NPCs payback these snotty players.

@Arkemist0094

Ben is a fantastic actor, he really knows how to make you hate his character ahahah

@jacobbreakerofsky8974

the spite on Bodger's face is hilarious

@CensorshipVictim

How I always imagined NPCs secretly messed with elite players. Thanks for making my dreams come true ❤️

@xer0vi

I would love a rpg with this level of AI. Actually talking to them with your mic and them responding. Be awesome.