Who Is The Father? (The Maury Game)

guys we are back with a bunch of fathers and a baby who needs to find its father yes we're doing it again our first contestant please welcome all the way from Disney World Shane W not the father I'm not the father I've never had sex in my life Shane you weren't the father last time you think you'll be the father this time absolutely not myy my name's Angela let's do the next please welcome all the way from a gas station it's chance baby how are you feeling today not great [ __ ] do you feel like

you have any lies to hide I don't feel like I have any lies at all awesome let's bring out our next potential father coming from a Rainforest Cafe please welcome and probably that's crazy came rushing in how do you feel today Ian you know let's roll the dice hell yeah also please welcome from a courthouse courton this is not my sequel wow Court you were the father last time how do you feel today I feel certain that this is not a continuation of my story it's not it's not what was the timeline b

etween the last child and this potential child I don't know cuz it's not my child for our second round of this game we have a special special guest our dirtiest potential father yet all the way from the production kitchen it's Amanda they're the worst the dirtiest yet Sean everywhere known to drop seamen in every place Seaman demon Seaman Marcus oh I don't remember the last time I clapped this much if she's in the bathroom I swear to God and we've been cling like an entire minute my hands won't

make sound anymore we got a table of daddies waiting for our biggest daddy yet I have to change my [Applause] clap I didn't touch her I have nothing to do with that oh my hands are beat this baby was in its pants all right Amanda it's your first time playing the game I have a simple question for you are you the father no [ __ ] oh okay each of us have four cards and we will use those cards to debate who is the father we'll do that until all the cards are done and then we will reveal what is in o

ur envelopes we are scored on popularity which will determine the order we pull our father cards at the end father so the most popular pulls first and the least popular pulls last the least popular pulls first and the most popular PS last dude are you all right there was a gas leak in the you look how you've been tearing up because you're the father is that on a card no shut your [ __ ] I did I closed my trap that's why I'm not the father okay also I am also on the docket as a potential father l

ike we all are no one is safe I am not the father trust me I'm not let's begin I heard you guys were calling me names before I got here yeah what was I being called uh Seaman Marcus Seaman demon SE demon from San Diego Seaman Marcus like the store yeah yeah yeah I heard they're having a sale on not being the father doesn't make sense there's also just a company called Seamans and that's you listen I do have a lot of seen and it's strong but it never never never made a baby all right Amanda do yo

u have anything to say for yourself yeah I do you Courtney don't you understand where babies come from it only takes one time so that's my defense oh oh you're attacking oh you're attacking that's a three right you have a three or higher I called a lot of names which is crazy I do not oh you lose one you are not the father card wow that we are all to a good baby number two for Courtney wow no Cheaper by the Dozen you're on your way I I heard it's easy to have two babies than it is to have one cu

z uh they entertain each other I don't like you messed that up it's cats big mistake cats my turn is done listen jerks she just wants me to be the baby's dad because I'm a YouTube celebrity real Spike the C you know what I just got to say Shane that baby even has your same hairstyle bori I'm a lover not a father oh there was a play on fighter well you were seeing other women while she was pregnant she was already pregnant when we [Applause] met I can't beat that we not father right oh theate the

baby definitely does look like you though no it doesn't oh baby's ugly as hell that ain't my baby cuz I paid off her car note oo what does that even mean you haven't paid you haven't paid for anything because you bought a hot tub for your new girlfriend Monica oh five Monica so now I just got to take that punishment yeah what is it lose to popularity bye bye go down you going to you going to take what what she dished out at you Courtney you going to take that Angela told me she had [ __ ] cards

earlier so oh wait wait what you don't even know the baby's middle [Applause] name as a teenager I drank a gallon of soda every day I'm sure I can't have kids after that oh just a remind these are real quotes from the show yeah you totally have kids after that you don't even have a job oh oh hilarious I am all caps positive that that test is going to be all caps negative I like your use of words very smart thank you you might not be the dad yeah oh I should be exonerated you gain three populari

ty I'm I just need I need to defend myself you're blind if you think that baby looks like me you need to get your eyes checked oh how could you deny your baby he looks just like you oh excuse me but I've been with a million women and none of them got pregnant I can't be that baby's daddy right here right here wait I can't beat you all right pain to you are not the father oh that's huge that's huge that's huge Absol why do I fight huge Mar why do I always fight when I don't need to fight yeah tha

t's what I I'm a fighter not a lover I'm a fighter not a father here's the truth y'all oh no I'm about to reveal something y'all I didn't feel any sympathy pains while she was pregnant that's why I'm not the dad how did that work cuz I didn't feel it you feel it in your gut you know you know what I'm saying a man's intuition you and the baby both whine the same just like you whing right now wa it's a f i can't have kids my soldiers are not marching and I'm going to play that play this card and a

nother thing how can I make a baby when she keeps busting my balls eight that's an eight wow y know I can't beat that oh my God and three popular I get to you are not the father that's some clean Dem I am [ __ ] my soldiers be marching to single never heard that phrase marching to single land yeah they're marching to my bachelor P oh cool yeah yeah yeah yeah well you know you've done nothing for this baby no diapers no wipes no nothing Amanda oh no diapers no wipes no nothing no nothing no uh ye

ah [ __ ] that baby's got one blue eye and one brown eye know who else does her ex and God as my witness oh my God God is my witness I got nothing to say got w wow got nothing to say I gained two you are not father crap Amanda I heard I was a Sean demon watch her be baby I'm winning watch her father still watch it watch it watch it watch out my turn like you keep watching it my turn uh here we go uh I can't make babies on account there's something wrong with my seed that sounds like a h problem

it's too goopy it's viscous stop talking about the consistency the one accusing the one doing you are Daddy what you are daddy that again I don't care actual actual quote from the show regardless of what the results say I'm going to be there cuz I've been there okay so that means you are the dad no it just means I'm going to support this baby no matter what cuz I care about people I'm a people pleaser and I can't I can't say no to things you know wow you wi you wi wow you wi words popularity wow

one two three I'm back where I start it yeah but I'm the most popular shut demon in the win you don't want to be the father but you keep calling yourself Sean demon yeah yeah demons don't make babies um uhoh uhoh do you have something to say uh oh cour uhoh I'm no mathematician but the timing just don't add up oh okay well you you've got the same dimples oh that's hug not the Deo Kiss by an Angel I kind of took him to the park once and another thing I bought that baby some fine clothes just lik

e mine about the father not you took you took the kid to the bark you're acting like the biggest baby in this whole situation wow you have dimples and you're a baby I'm done Corney loses two PS oh no I'm screwed I'm coming back I've got a generic face I look like everybody but that doesn't mean I'm their daddy that's so true I was going to say that you remind me of someone your girlfriend tried to teach the baby to drive doesn't mean I'm the dad I'm 74 I can barely make oatmeal let alone baby th

at's amazing that's I got nothing to say to that that's that's crazy gain two you are not the father card finally I've had one of these Amanda yeah what you got your rocks off now man up and get a rock on her finger right that's right yeah my rocks got off you know what I got something to say about that then say it boom I'm going to draw three cards before I say anything okay that baby looks exactly like the pizza delivery man he's the baby daddy not me I don't deliver pizza I deliver sex okay t

hat sound like the dad no well okay well if you were half a man you'd admit you were the whole daddy that's important that's important that's important that's important fun you about to lose you are I sustain now you must lose one you are not the father card oh you're tricky I don't like back in the pile we will not be getting be in fine try Meine don't do it don't hello Ian dad name you hit on other girls all day long so that means yeah you're the daddy baby me me I can't even have kids a horse

kicked me in the groin oh that's facts that's facts that sucks because I'm 1 million per sure you are the [ __ ] million 1 million well guess what three different psychics told me that those are not my children wa that's a five God is my wit shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ] up you even slept with her best friend oh my God mic drop I'm a DJ Amanda hi me Amanda yes oh no the lie detector determined that was [Applause] a Rec oh my God what what does this mean you lose five [Music] popularity eve

ryone hates you now you've been gunning for me since day one now that all that [ __ ] happened let say uh can't be me I wear briefs and my boys get too hot doctor said so he looked at my balls he said your balls are way too hot hot balls I don't want to argue with that I get it hot balls hot balls I heard you crying to your mama that you were the [Applause] father I was in a coma when she got pregnant from my hot balls I can't be that baby's father for my hot ball I was I was in a hot ball coma

oh hot ball coma that's right oh I get one of these one more you're not the father card oh no I'm scared why cuz you're the father no because I'm not those words just SLA me across the face I actually like I got hit like impact um let's see what this do uh I stayed home with the baby while she was out partying Trace you couldn't perform because you were getting it from someone else I've got something to say about that oh okay this is not looking cool for me okay I'm working two jobs but I always

make time for that baby oh so you are look at those eyes same as yours boom Oh he said I've got something to say about that my we're giving him so much time you must have something you must you must it's a three [ __ ] yourself open the option if you so I'm just going to lose the card oh all that let's just say whoever goes next is going to be in trouble okay you're keeping in this game aive who I'm really starting to believe you were in a hot ball coma hot ball coma there's very few uh these c

ards left too so game could be over soon it takes more than 10 seconds to make a bob a Bobby a child's name Bobby it takes more than seconds to make a baby I am not the father more ly and everybody knows it someone had it I cook toast for that baby all the time so I couldn't possibly be the father your so weird you and the baby's belly buttons are both Ines oh see D okay and controvert and another thing you don't have the backup your face is looking like that baby's face is looking in that mirro

r you look like Bobby you look like Bobby Bobby I would never name a child Bobby okay so you lose one you are not the father card okay good thing I have one left oh wait that literally sucks D oh wait but you're red and I'm right also you were the dad last so so Bobby's the name huh no Courtney you cuz you challenged me last you Courtney you pwned the car seat to buy video games oh that is disgusting literally literally the kid has no se yeah I've been a father I've been a father to that baby ev

en though it's not mine and another thing I physically can't make boys that's proof I'm not her son's daddy all right you can't you can't you can't you cannot make boys you can't make Bo I cannot make boys damn you get you two you are not the fathers I get two not the fathers and I gain three po there's no there's no more you a huge dad upgrade you're own done with that we are done now it's time to find out who is the father everyone go to your test the no one touch anything we will now read the

results in our DNA envelope we will pass it to the left and that person will read it for us the second we find out the Father the game is over so we start with the least popular person and move on to the most popular the least popular person is me yeah oh I knew it I knew it you Los you know what I'm not even worried because you know what I'm not the father oh yeah we see all right in the case of this baby you are not the father come on right a surprise to be sure that's that's a surprise all r

ight Amanda let me see your folder time for you to own up I'm not worried about it I'm not worried about it Seaman demon is just a nickname that you keep lot ofs demon just a oh just a nickname just a nickname I'm with you bro we must Find Bobby's dad Bobby's dad in the case of this baby you are not the father oh god oh Endzone Endzone Endzone Zone yeah I played football in high school high school what's up you want to get a beer after this I don't I don't know you might still be the father so I

don't you no I'm not I literally am not thinking doesn't get you pregnant no like it makes your SE all weird I have so many you are not the father cards there is no way that I'm going to be the father of this baby okay the chances are like nothing cuz my balls are hot I do feel bad for you cuz you're in a coma Shane yeah in case of this baby oh my God you are not the PO the what oh go what that's right that's crazy Bobby looks exactly like you man Endzone baby okay chance I'm not scared you're

not scared nope I'm a virgin okay I don't I actually believe that actually yes chance in the case of this baby you are not the father oh we weren we weren't surprised by that yeah you definitely W I only oh you only had two guard oh my God you only had two guard oh my God you've never had sex though but I never had that yeah that's clear oh if Courtney's the father of two babies okay oh my God oh my God Courtney father of last baby in this this case are you going to name this one Bobby too in th

is case father of last baby Courtney father of last baby in the case of this baby you are not let's go let's go so what let's go so now it's your turn there's a big stack of cards in there so there's no [ __ ] way you the host you're going to be the father no I was too I can't I can't be a host and have sex at the same time that's not true yes you can multitask so many SE have so much sex true yeah Endzone baby Angela in the case of this baby you are not the father told you told you come on [ __

 ] I [ __ ] said that I said I wasn't listen to my words when I say something [ __ ] yeah wait a second go back around he is risen that's what it's dead [ __ ] I never had sex in a virgin all right clearly the DNA test was faulty we got to go again I've got nothing to be worried about again as I said I've never had sex so this is so much more fun now the he all right the we there was some blood mixed in with the seen have any of that work they got some they got some false negative they stole my

Wendy's cup and took DNA without me saying that why are youing in your Wendy's cup because I can't come at home stop it I got through the drive how it works everybody knows that my mom so pissed when I come you ever had a baconer so good oh my God oh my God oh my God it's fun it's fun I played I played true I played strong I'm not worried all right I'm not worried all right Daddy all right dadd don't wake daddy this won't be the end zone for you buddy it won't all right it's not going to be in t

he case of this baby you are not the father oh don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that uhoh I love the part there uhoh Amanda you've been talking [ __ ] this whole episode in the case of this baby I'm not even going to look you're not the father Endzone Endzone [Laughter] ohzone really trying to make Endzone a thing Endzone this is a sword are you looking for this Shane that's right what I say SE demon boys I'm not it's not going to be me you just the bookshelf Shane I'm a didd o

h diddling dding in the case uh this baby you are I'm not even going to look not the father what what what what what what oh light light yeah that's right oh oh that yeah Endzone no Endzone did so many endzones boys and bruise and balls that's right hot B okay Court hot balls Court daddy of the previous father in the case of this baby God you are not the father wait what well again I'm I have nothing to be afraid ofh cuz I myself am a woman of God I have never in my life never in my life a woman

of God yes ma'am Christian woman all the way over there get oh my God no no no I think he's about to go to the end zone yeah but but he's not going for the win I am not the father a woman of the Lord I am not the father brother chance mcra of the LA county mega church yes in the case of this baby you are the [Applause] down down get his ass get his ass get his ass gu what's he doing oh god oh is that is that what he did with his [Applause] fluge this is ter W in [Applause] zone we got to clean

up a mess we have we have some daddies here thank you for watching if you want to see us play again tell us in the comments who's your daddy love you guys kiss your family good night let's clean up see you at the end zone