I'm sorry. I'd love to keep
talking about this, but I seem to have developed a nasty itch. I'd ask you to scratch it for me, but no doubt you'd think
I was just trying to trick you. Or you're trying to make me
think I shouldn't help you. In which case, I should do
the opposite of that and help you. Or don't help me. I think that's even a better option. You're trying to switch it around on me,
but I won't take the bait. Sorry, Mugatu. I'm going with my first instinct.
And helping you. I really wi
sh you wouldn't. Too late. The die is cast. I'd prefer that you didn't. - I'm going to do it.
- Please don't. Let me go! Not until you untie my straitjacket
and put it on, okay? If I do, will you let me go? No! Which means you will let me go. So I'll do it. Oh, my gosh. Okay! Check and mate, Mugatu. Your move. You really are an idiot, aren't you? Like, super, super white hot,
blazingly stupid. For ten long years... I've been plotting my escape
from this dreadful place. For ten long years. For te
n long years. Ten years spent creating some of
the most realistic and lifelike masks ever made. One for you. And one for me. All so that today you can become me! And I can become... ...you! That's it? You'll never get away with this. All of the guards here
are former male models. Somehow I don't think
it's gonna be a problem. Guard! Guard! Will that be all, Mr. Zoolander? That will be all. No! No! Come back here, Mugatu! Mugatu! - Go get Derek!
- What? Go get Derek! And tell my orgy I love them!
Alexanya! No. Hey, sorry to interrupt. What? Don Atari, what are you doing here?
Don't you knuck? Mugatu? What? No way, dude. I thought you were
supposed to be in jail, dude. You're like some dangerous criminal
that tried to assassinate a world leader, dude. That was some crazy retro-Bond shit. So corny. I loved it. Who are you? Hello! I know you been
all Shawshanked out, but, like, seriously, I'm the new
stupid king of fashion, whatever. Don Atari, baby. What! So you know who I am, right? Dere
licte was the dumbest, dude. You and SpongeBob are, honestly,
like, my biggest influences ever, dude. And did you just escape from prison
in the most ingenious way possible? What? And did you engineer the abduction
and fattening of the son of Zoolander, and the delivery of the Chosen One
for ritual sacrifice as the key to the Fountain of Youth? Did you? Did you? Did you do that? - Naw.
- Naw? Naw. - Naw?
- Naw. Did you say "naw"? I said "naw". So, I just want to ask you again. Do you know who I
am? Whatever, you're... I'm Jaca-boo-who? Jacobim Mugatu. That's right! I'm Jacobim Mugatu! Fashion genius. And you... You are no one! Do you understand me? No one! I'm the Mamba Bajamba! I'm the Mamba Bajamba! Todd! You'll take my name into death! You should know, I actually care about
everybody and everything very truly... That's right! I just killed a little hipster! Yeah! Prison changed me deeply! It affected me psychologically.
I'm a psycho! This is just the beginning. Watch out! Buyer bewa
re! Now where is that
chubby little blood fountain? Hansel! Guys, Mugatz just killed Atari. For serious? Also, they're going to
kill your son tonight. What? Hang on. I'm gonna try
to get more intel. Hey, idiots!
Maybe this will get your attention! I've got a bomb in my hand
and it's armed! Derek, now! Magnum! Do it! Fly, baby, fly! Bust it out! Yes! I knew it. Hansel, I need your help. Here, let me try! It's not working! Derek, it's not working! I can't hold it, Hansel! I don't have it! You've g
ot your son! I've got nothing. Not anymore, Hansel. Who's your daddy now? I don't know who my daddy is!
That's the whole point! - Hansel.
- What? I am your father. Holy shit. Sting? Let's do this now. Synchronicity. Nice try, but that looks about
as powerful as your fat son's... I'm not fat! He's plus size. And I've got the fire. El Niño! It's real. It's so beautiful. Bellissima. The prophecy was true. He is the Chosen One. Hansel. He's still so hot right now. No way! It's a glitter bomb! Looks
like you still have it. I guess I do. Well, we do. Your face! How bad is it? Welcome to my world, bro.
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