WOMEN, DRAMA & MEN SUCKING AT DANCING : Stand Up Comedy by Kenny Sebastian #InsidesOut

I love hanging out with my female friends more than my guy friends because there is so much drama. There is so much nice drama. There is no drama with guys. You know, when two guys fight it is so boring. Bro... maximum is you know what, bro, we don’t have any beer. This is the max drama you will ever see. Max is like, bro, know what? We are not playing Counter Strike together. But when girls fight each other. It’s awesome. When two girls hate each other they don’t want the other person to

breathe. I have heard my female friends come to me, ‘Hey, is that Neha still alive?’ I’m like, ‘What?’ Yeah, she is. Oh my God! And they just look at her and it’s the worst thing. One thing that pisses off a girl more than anything is the girl she hates getting a lot of attention. It’ll just be like, we’ll be at a party. I have this friend, Divya. She hates Neha. Neha is at the party. Look at that Neha. Yeah. Look at her walking. Look at her. Look at her. She is picking up her drink and

drinking it. Bitch! I’m like, you are describing normal human being things. It’s awesome. I also envy women. Women can do a lot of things guys can’t. Like women can always be 16 years old. Even if a woman is 35 years old, you can behave you are 16. Like I go... I have this friend. She is 32 years old. We were bowling. Bowling is like damn proper hipster shit. Like Americans do it. We will also do it. Even though we hate this fucking game. ‘Coz it’s so expensive. Why is it so expensive? S

o, anyway. This stupid ass game where you just have to do this shit. Guys get very into it. If you miss guys can’t show emotion. Can’t. Can’t show her how I feel. Girls. She is 32 years old. This is what she did. No, Kenny. You always win. I lost again. I want your chance. And I’m like... Okay. I can’t do that. I can’t be 24, play cricket with my guy friends and be like... Hey, I am not out, okay? Get out from here, Kenny. We are never playing with you again. Women are also very comfortab

le with their bodies. Women are amazing dancers. Any guys who can dance well? You are lying. Wait. You are gifted. Anyone else? Any guy who can dance well? Yeah? He’s like, ‘Yeah, man’. I’m so cool I don’t even raise my hand. There are two chicks next to me pointing at me. You dance, bro? It’s okay. Take your time. You dance, man? You dance? Dude, you have to answer one way. Maybe if I just keep quiet. He will stop conversing with me. He is asking again but screw this. He is making a joke abo

ut me right now and I am still quiet. Do you dance, man? Do you dance? Jesus. What is medicine doing to you guys? Oh you haven’t spoken in years. So I wanted to get better at dancing. ‘Coz I suck at dancing. Most guys suck at dancing. I was like... ’coz it’s so annoying ‘coz women they do it so naturally. They look amazing no matter what they are doing. Like I go to a house party and I’ll go talk to a girl and she will like... Hey, Kenny. The music’s amazing. I’m like the music is on the

4th floor. I know. But I love the beats. As a guy you look like a moron. So, I wanted to fix this. So I went for salsa classes with my ex girlfriend. That’s why she is my ex girlfriend. So we went for salsa class. And I wanted to learn dance so that it’ll look cool, okay. Basically the salsa is this. Anyone done salsa? Yeah. Wow. Was that a bad class? Did all of you go for the same class? Yes, Kenny. And we all met here today. It’s weird. Basically this is salsa, okay. This is correct, right

? No. But apparently according to my instructor this is wrong. Okay. So I was like, what’s wrong? Kenny, I will show you. Exactly. I mean, I can’t do that. Fuck this. I can’t... I want to look cool. I can’t do that.