>> > IN C HA PT ER F OU R, I W AS S O EX CI TE D WH EN L IL Y ME T RI LE , BU T WH EN A TL AS C AM E BA CK . >> A M I A BA D PE RS ON F OR L IK IN G AT LA S? >> I S TI LL H AV E NO I DE A WH O OR WH AT Y OU G UY S AR E TA LK IN G AB OU T. >> G IR L, D ID N' T YO U RE AD T HE BO OK ? >> W EL L, U NF OR TU NA TE LY , NO . MY M IN D' S BE EN A L IT TL E BI T EL SE WH ER E. >> O KA Y. GO T YA . CA N I JU ST S AY I T OT AL LY R EL AT ED TO H OW S HE F OU ND L OV E? >> I H AV E BE EN S O SW AM PE D. P
R EO CC UP IE D RE AL LY . >> R EA LL Y, I T' S OK AY . >> T HI NG S HA VE J US T BE EN A LI TT LE B IT C RA ZY . SI NC E I GO T TH E CA LL . >> W HA T CA LL ? >> Y OU K NO W, T HA T FA MO US C AL L. TH AT S AY S I' M GO IN G TO B E ON "S HA RK T AN K. " >> Y ES , I HA VE B EE N SI TT IN G ON A MI LL IO N- DO LL AR I DE A, A ND A FT ER WE S HO OT , TH IN GS A RE P RO BA BL Y GO IN G TO B E QU IT E DI FF ER EN T. TH E PO WE R ST RU CT UR E IN T HI S FR IE ND G RO UP I S GO NN A SH IF T. >> I D ID
N' T EV EN K NO W YO U WE RE AN I NV EN TO R. >> Y EA H. WH AT 'S T HE I DE A? >> W EL L, I T' S JU ST T HI S LI TT LE T- SH IR T TH AT S AY S -- D ON 'T A SK IF I 'M O KA Y. I' M OK AY . BU T IF E VE RY ON E ST AR TS A SK IN G IF I' M OK AY , I MI GH T ST AR T CR YI NG . >> S O IS I T LI KE A S PE CI AL T YP E OF T -S HI RT ? >> H OW D O YO U ME AN ? >> L IK E DO ES T HE T -S HI RT D O AN YT HI NG ? >> O R IS I T JU ST A T -S HI RT T HA T SA YS T HA T ON I T? >> H UH , BI NG O. SH E MI GH T BE
U GL Y, B UT S HE 'S SM AR T. >> G IR L, I D ON 'T K NO W IF T HA T' S RE AL LY " SH AR K TA NK " MA TE RI AL . >> A RE Y OU J EA LO US T HA T WH EN I 'M A MI LL IO NA IR E WE 'L L AL L HA NG O UT AT M Y SU PE R CO OL M AN SI ON I NS TE AD OF Y OU R SM AL L ST IN KY H OU SE ? >> M Y HO US E IS N' T ST IN KY . >> W EL L -- >> I T' S GR OS S. >> I 'M J US T SA YI NG I T HI NK A SH IR T TH AT S AY S DO N' T AS K ME H OW I AM I SN 'T E NO UG H TO B AI T TH E SH AR KS . >> T HA T' S NO T WH AT I T S
A YS , NU MB -N UT S. I DI ST IL LE D TH E EN TI RE H UM AN EX PE RI EN CE I NT O TH RE E SE NT EN CE S. DO N' T AS K IF I 'M O KA Y. I' M OK AY . BU T IF E VE RY ON E ST AR TS A SK IN G IF I' M OK AY , I MI GH T ST AR T CR YI NG . >> I F I' M BE IN G HO NE ST , I TH IN K IT 'S T OO M AN Y WO RD S. >> I NT ER ES TI NG . ST IN K BU G TH IN KS M Y T- SH IR T' S TO O CL UT TE RE D. WE LL , LE T ME A SK Y OU T HI S. AR E YO U OK AY ? >> Y EA H. >> Y OU S UR E YO U' RE O KA Y? >> Y ES . >> H EY , JE
SS , AR E YO U OK AY ? >> Y OU C AN T EL L US . AR E YO U OK AY ? >> O H, M Y GO D, Y ES . PL EA SE S TO P AS KI NG I F I' M OK AY . I' M OK AY . I' M OK AY . >> H EY . AR E YO U OK AY ? [ CR YI NG ] . >> I T' S JU ST T HA T JA ME S GO T LA ID OF F A FE W MO NT HS B AC K, A ND H E SA YS H E' S LO OK IN G FO R WO RK , BU T I FO LL OW ED H IM M ON DA Y, A ND H E SA T IN H IS C AR A ND A TE T WO BA GE LS W IT H NO TH IN G ON T HE M AN D NO T CU T IN H AL F. >> H ER E. TA KE T HI S. IT 'S Y OU RS .
>> T HA NK Y OU F OR T HI S. >> I 'L L GI VE Y OU 4 00 K F OR 2 0% ST AK E IN Y OU R CO MP AN Y. [ CH EE RS A ND A PP LA US E ] >> I 'L L GI VE Y OU 5 00 K , FI VE , FO R 10 %. [ CH EE RS A ND A PP LA US E ] >> H EL L, H OW 'S A C OO L MI LL IO N SO UN D? >> W EL L, I F YO U' RE W IL LI NG T O WO RK T OG ET HE R, I 'L L TA KE A LL T HE MO NE Y. >> O KA Y. IT 'S A D EA L. [ CH EE RS A ND A PP LA US E ]
Comments
I cant get over how different dakota looks with each wigs.
Dakota was really giving some Kristen Wiig energy in this
The fact that they're discussing "It Ends With Us" is what really got me
I love that they got some of the actual sharks for this skit
I have never seen an episode with so many bizarre awkward pauses in it
I love SNL and I love your product. And for that reason, I'm out. -Barbara
This entire episode made me feel ALL of the second hand embarrassment that exists in the cosmos.
This deserved a better ending especially with those cameos
Wow, just written for a Shark Tank cast cameo. Lot of work put in this one. Appreciated.
Those cameos deserved a better sketch
The awkward silences tho
It’s not a good sign that I got bored and tuned out 2 mins in, had to rewind.
This is probably the only time Barbara didn't say "And for that reason, I'm out."
Easily one of the worst skits I’ve seen from this show. Wow, I’m honestly stunned.
Lots of special guests this episode, Jimmy, mark, Barbara! Crazy!!
i have never seen a quieter episode in my life.
It is too many words. But you could trademark the acronym: DAMIIOKIOK BITWAIIOKIMJSTC
Dakota's sense of comedic timing is insaaaaaanely off.
Man her long pauses take you out of the joke.
I've never seen Dakota as a psycho but .. wow.