the blunders of science part of education is to
expose people to different schools of thought George W bush closet pastafarian the need for
alternative theories science is a subject in crisis there's a dirty little secret that the
scientific establishment has been trying to keep under wraps for years there are many unproven
theories that are being taught to people as if they were established fact but thanks to the
heroic efforts of a handful of deep thinkers The Winds of Truth are sweeping
Across the Nation
consider the theory of evolution to their credit intelligent design Advocates have successfully
argued that their alternative Theory deserves as much attention as Evolution since neither
can be considered fact this is a valid point but evolution is hardly the only theory in
trouble it seems strange that evolution is singled out as just a theory when there are so
many basic ideas in science that remain unproven yet are still taught as fact the objections to
teaching evolut
ion have only Illustrated this point further alternative theories must be taught
in order to give our young students Minds a broad Foundation the intelligent design proponents make
a compelling and totally legitimate argument that if a theory has not been proven then one suggested
theory is just as good as another take gravity for example the force of attraction between
massive particles we know a great deal about the properties of GRA gravity yet we know nothing
about the cause of the forc
e itself why are particles attracted to one other if we review the
literature we find a lot of material dealing with the properties of gravity but very little dealing
with the underlying cause of this attraction until we have a proven answer to this question it
seems irresponsible to instruct students in what is ultimately just a theory however if we
must discuss the theory of gravity at all then it's reasonable that all suggested theories should
should be given equal time since none have b
een proven or disproven therefore I formally submit
that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is behind this strange and often misunderstood Force what if it
is he pushing us down with his nudely appendages that causes this Force he is invisible remember
and is undetectable by current instruments So in theory it is possible and the fact that the
gravitational powers of the spaghetti monster haven't been disproven makes it all the more
likely to be true we can only guess as to his motives but it's l
ogical to assume that if he is
going to such trouble there is a good reason it could be that he doesn't want us floating off
Earth into space or maybe just that he enjoys touching us we may never know and while it's true
that we don't have any empirical evidence to back up this Theory keep in mind the precedent set
by intelligent design proponents not only is observable repeatable evidence not required to get
an alternative Theory included in the curriculum but simply poking holes in establ
ished Theory may
be enough in this case the established theory of gravity makes no mention as to the cause of the
force it merely presents the properties of it I fully expect then that this FSM theory of gravity
will be admitted into accepted science with a minimum of apparently unnecessary bureaucratic
nonsense including the peer review process for further evidence of the true cause of gravity
that we are being pushed down by his nudely appendages we need only look at our historical
recor
ds the average height of humans 2,000 years ago was about 5' 3 in for males compared with
an average height of around 5' 10 in for males today useless by itself this information becomes
quite important when viewed in terms of worldwide population humans apparently obsessed with [ __ ]
have increased their numbers exponentially over the years we find counterintuitively that a
small population correlates with shorter humans and a larger population correlates with taller
humans this only makes
sense in light of the FSM theory of gravity with more people on Earth
today there are fewer noodly appendages to go around so we each receive less touching pushing
down toward the Earth and thus with less Force downward we're taller we can fully expect that
as the population increases and we receive less downward pushing by the FSM will'll continue
to grow in height conversely we can expect that the sudden occurrence of a worldwide plague
would cause our average height to decrease this phe
nomenon can be verified in historical records
we find that re ions undergoing Health crisis have shorter people strong evidence that the theory
is sound no one is saying that the FSM theory of gravity is necessarily true but at the very
least it's based on sound science sound enough to be included in the curriculum with the other
non-proven theories until the currently taught theory of gravity known as Newton ism is proven
as fact Alternatives should be taught as well
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