Do we really know about alcoholism? | Adina Kadyrova | TEDxNazarbayev University

Transcriber: Mako Fabris Reviewer: Claire Ghyselen Is there anyone in the audience who has at least one drink per week? Or maybe you know someone who does that? Probably you do. Great, thank you. We have something to talk about. Hi, I’m Adina, I’m a young molecular biology researcher, a friend, a student, a sister, a daughter, and I’m an alcoholic. Let me guess, it’s your first thought: “What? She doesn’t look like one. She probably drinks from time to time, sure. We all do. But she’s not an al

coholic.” Let me tell you a story. I had my first drink when I was 18. And honestly, it was just disgusting. After some time, I started tolerating the taste of alcohol, and I have been drinking one to two drinks per month during quarantine. It was fun. It was a great way to deal with stress, to socialize, to do something you can’t do when you’re sober. After some time, going to the bar every Friday night became a habit. Everyone does that, why can't I? This went on for two years until I became

a social activist. I had raised some sensitive issues in our university, and the agenda quickly became viral within our university, and the community beyond it. After that, I had meetings with administration and even police. Not the most pleasant ones, I had to admit. And it was so emotionally intense that I froze. It was a mixture of anger, fear, and despair. I couldn’t even cry without having a drink first. So it escalated really quickly from having one drink per week to drinking every ot

her day. And after that, I had a drink openly with my therapist. You lose control, and you do not even realize it. Many of us drink for different reasons. You might be lonely, or you might be simply bored. And many of us are under constant stress, I understand. And we cannot work with our anxiety and emotions in a healthy and organic way. So I drank like 1 to 2L of beer per set. Every two or three days. And I rarely had anything heavier than a beer. I was drinking only beer, even though I knew

deep down this wasn’t healthy. And it reached the point when my mental health professional asked me a simple question: “If right now, you were offered fresh, bubbly beer, would you take it?” It was clear for both of us. I had problems. Because healthy individuals do not have cravings for alcohol at all. So I entered the first stage of alcoholism, and I was on the border of the second one within one month and a half. Six weeks. So after that, doctor recommended me to visit Alcoholics Anonymous.

Well, obviously I went there, but I never admitted I had a problem. Why would I? I didn't drink vodka. I didn't spend all of my money on alcohol. I thought that I had a great relationship with my friends and my family. And after all, I had my first drink only two and a half years ago. I was too young to be an alcoholic. I wasn't like them. That's what I thought. Until realization hit me. Until I started having health issues because of alcohol. I was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis later th

at month. The realization hit me when it was unbearable on the fourth day without alcohol, I had a psychological addiction. That’s when I started my way towards sobriety. 40 days without alcohol, relapse. 50 days without alcohol, relapse. Two months without alcohol, isn’t that great? Relapse. Four months without alcohol? Wow. Well, I relapsed again. And I was able to spot the liquor store, locally known as Alco Market, and beer stands. Before I could even spot any normal food market. I drink o

nly beer. It’s just the beer: what’s so criminal about it? I was in denial on my first attempt of sobriety. But let me tell you that sobriety isn’t abstaining from alcohol. It’s the way you think about yourself, the others. And admitting you’re an alcoholic is the first step in a 12-step program. And after I stopped drinking actively, my sister noticed how understanding and kind I became. Others noticed how happy and healthy I was looking. So you might wonder how does one become an alcoholic

? Well, it’s usually a stereotype that alcoholics are homeless people who spend every single day, all of their money on alcohol. Yet here I am, a living proof that this isn't the truth. We keep our faces until the first bottle of alcohol. We keep our life together until the evening hits. And society does not recognize alcoholics. They do not recognize us until we reached the rock bottom, the last stage. The third stage of alcoholism. When one cannot hide it further. When one has lost their mo

ney, house, everything. And one cannot drop the alcohol by themselves. But in reality, your friend who drinks every other week might have a problem. The first stage of alcoholism includes, and is not restricted to, building up tolerance to alcohol, drinking without any particular reason, drinking despite its health effects. And explicit negative effects on the quality of your life. Actually, many of us drink without any addiction as a result. And well, it’s a mixture of both genes and enviro

nment. You might notice that certain cultures have different tolerance to alcohol. Why would one drink liters of beer and not even wink? But in our culture, we have something called Asian flushing reaction. And there are two genes that are responsible for alcoholic predisposition. They're responsible for metabolism of alcohol, and they have the strongest effect on the risk of development of alcoholism. And as Asians, we have at least one mutation. That means we cannot metabolize alcohol the w

ay the Western people do. It's the same as having disulfiram in your organism, the drug used to prevent people from drinking. That means if we have even a small amount of alcohol, we get drunk fast, we get rosy cheeks, we have severe hangover symptoms. So, studies show that Western cultures are more prone to alcoholism. Well. I’m not here to tell you that alcohol is bad, that you shouldn’t drink that, or I’m not here to tell you what to do, I’m not here to blame anyone. This would have happene

d sooner or later. I had all the conditions to develop an alcoholism. I’m here to tell where I am now. I’m still dealing with my alcohol issues. I relapse over and over again. I avoid places with alcohol at all costs. I do not go and hang out with my friends if there is even an ounce of alcohol there. Too radical. Too much? Maybe. But I'm not ready to risk it all. I don’t want to go back there. And I’m still dealing with my health consequences. Alcoholism, fortunately, unfortunately, you decid

e, you cannot be cured. It cannot be cured. It can be arrested, though. Yet I have developed a support system that helps me to stay sober. First of all, a simple realization that I’m a better person without alcohol. My life is more fulfilling without alcohol. I have better relationships, better health. I feel more positive about my health, and my body, and my blood tests are just perfect after I dropped alcohol, even for a couple of months. And the most important thing here: I don’t want to g

o back to the person I was. Intoxication. Alcoholic intoxication made me miserable. And I always remember that. Once an alcoholic, always one. Thank you. (Applause)