Gutfeld: The elites would never do this

[Music] yeah baby that's how it works how you doing I love all of you I love you all right it's Friday so you know what that means let's welcome tonight's guest he's got 13 abs for the 13 original colonies Fox and Friends Weekend co-host the hunky Pete egg head she's got a Southern draw and likes to brawl co-host of the bottom line on Fox Business J McDow she's like dental floss thin wiry and makes your gums bleed New York Times bestselling author and buxus contributor C and what you call the Gr

eat Pyramids he calls a foot stool New York Times bestselling author comedian and former NWA world champion yes all right before we get to some news stories let's do this Greg's leftovers M yeah it's leftovers where I read the jokes we did use this week and as always it's my first time reading them so if they suck we'll beat Joe Macky to death with Jesse waters's hairpiece weighs 80 lb all right an Australian bill millionaire announced plans to build Titanic 2 in a similar story Joe Biden is run

ning for a second term what again the president asked if he was allowed to take questions during a campaign stop then his staff immediately hustled reporters out of the room in their defense visiting hours were over yeah nice a Georgia judge has ruled that Fanny Willis can stay on the Trump case but only if she fires her former lover Nathan Wade so it appears it appears she's still screwing him play on words America deal with it a new booking tool allows travelers to avoid flying on Boeing 737 M

ax planes Boeing CEO said if anybody has complaints his door is open yeah Dylan mvan has debuted his first music video for a song called days of girlhood at least one music fan says he loves it Elon Musk abruptly cancelled Don lemon's X show after taping one episode so if Don's looking for work I could always use a new [Applause] footrest it's what Joe Macky does in the daytime 57-year-old Mike Tyson will return to boxing in a fight not sanctioned by the ibf WBC or wo we're still waiting on the

AARP Arkansas was banned using a gender neutral marker on its driver's licenses anyone worried they'll have to prove their female with a physical exam have been told the state's bringing in an [Laughter] expert a Canadian Supreme Court Justice faced criticism for calling a female rape victim a woman instead of a person with a vagina the fire Jud the judge fired back saying that every Canadian knows a p when they see one macallen Texas was named as the most obese city in the USA the mayor of Mall

en disputes this saying the city's just big [Applause] boned Saudi Arabia's first humanoid robot inappropriately touched a female reporter which makes me wonder could this be the beginning of the R2 me too movement meanwhile Saudi Arabia also introduced its first female robot that's up that's the Burker 101 yeah oh man a man who spent 72 years living in an iron lung has passed away in l flowers his family asked you send WD40 you should have did the other one you should have did the an elderly wo

man went to Disney World to celebrate her 106th birthday she was still in line for her 107th birthday uh oh Monica Lewinsky is now the head of a marketing campaign for women's dresses or as Bill calls them targets you cheat one time man one time Sunday is St Patrick's Day where yeah that's where celebrates are encouraged to practice the age-old custom of simult multaneously vomiting and urinating behind a park car finally according to a report nearly 30% of gen Z women identify as lgbtq and that

figure goes up to 100% whenever they're approached by this [Music] man he doesn't even know yeah now uh to the news would you like ranch or blue cheese with your deep fried burmes true while they eat Stakes the elites want us eating snakes as they warn us that climate change threatens to incinerate the Earth the global Geeks have stumbled upon something new to eat snakes a new study shows python farming could offer one of the most sustainable sources of meat in the world yes sustainable the cod

e phrase for taste like an old man's armpit but why pythons you ask good question imaginary person well scient point out pythons can survive extreme weather go without water for long periods of time and seldom contract animal viruses like bird flu swine flu or covid-19 none of these points you see have anything to do with how delicious snake beat is which is probably why they survive even other animals find them disgusting they also grow extremely fast and have a smaller carbon footprint than tr

aditional meat sources like beef or pork well duh they have no footprint cuz they they don't have any [Applause] feet but I guess the smaller carpet footprint means uh snakes fart less or at least they're good at blaming it on alligators apparently python farming is already happening in parts of Asia quote uh in countries with a cultural precedence for eating reptiles and food when where food security is increasingly compromised through the impacts of global challenges such as climate change rep

tiles offer an efficient safe and flexible source of protein so there you have it the elites say it's time for snake and bake so when you now hear that there are Snakes on a Plane it just means having more snack options wasn't bad yeah but once again you have the world's experts telling you that the globe is in grave danger and here's what you must do to save it and it's always that they ever would do eat insects eat snakes give up their private flights to Davos or Aspen we should feed them to t

he pythons although I doubt they can unhinge their jaw enough to swallow Al [Applause] Gore but because they're better than you or me they're exempt from their own advice instead of let him eat cake it's let him eat snake while they gorge on fingon in their Gulf Stream G500 sorry I think eating snakes should be like marriage you should only do it when you're backed into a corner with no other options thank you plus things can always go wrong I believe we have video of an unfortunate mishap yeah

I'm outside in the shop with my pants down I was taking the I noticed some money on the floor and I looked up and I was a snake in here with me M well that the snake supposed to knock it's your problem all right you know Pete you've been all over the world but enough about the bedroom wow welcome to the show and we're talking about snakes too you're in the fire now have you ever eaten snake would you eat snake would you go full Stabler I would definitely eat I want to know what snake tastes like

chicken it's does it really taste like chicken yeah it tastes like chicken okay so it's it's a just health no better at all it's it's dull chicken I I want to know so yes I would try it of course of course I'm not going to eat it only if it tastes like steak in order to have more Farms you need more Farmers right that want to be snake Farmers yes and I have yet to meet anybody yeah that would like to gather up hundreds and hundreds of snakes and then have them breed more snakes I know you I'm s

itting right here you don't want a far I have hundreds of snakes I have okay you're that's you're some people would say you're not normal Ty okay you got their names my list is it Greg is it Greg not me I feel like it was Greg people say I'm a python farmer when I'm doing bicep curls no no [Applause] no D that's why you wait that's why you wore the short sleeve shirt so you could tell that J for it's spring again uh being from the south is snake what they serve at the fancier restaurants you kno

w like oh look it's snake and they always say market price get it you no you about to get it because southern people are Smart M because you can raise Hogs and you can raise cattle and if a hog gets loose or a headle cattle gets loose you got people who can handle that and get the hog or the head of cattle back to where it belongs but some crafty ass python is going to Slither into the pond and take up residence behind your house and then all of a sudden the neighbor's dog is missing yeah and th

en your dog is missing and then cats missing literally cats missing because and then you got one two three pythons living in the pond that are like 100 plus pounds and 19 ft long I'm talking about the Florida Everglades M little history there thank you I knew she you know cat I know you'd eat anything as long it's as it's in the form of a soup so like a cobra chowder a burmes broth a python puree I don't like puree no you don't I don't like anything puree or bisque cuz I like to be I like to che

w a [Music] [Laughter] little half the audience was like I remember that I start no I do I always ask like I was really disappointed I actually ordered potato leak soup the other day and it was like a puree it's like I don't want a warm smoothie I was thinking chunks of potatoes I was really disappointed you like Hardy I do yes yes and I like and I like to put a lot of saltine crackers in it which I'm not really very I if if you you seen me eat I gets everywhere right I don't have the best of fi

nd motor skills but anyway is there a question no I asked you just asked you if you need a soup but I like now that I'm on the sou soup is exactly what depends how good the soup is if they said if I said what do you think of the the the snake Noodle and they said it was delicious then I might I might try it but if they were like it's you know sustainable I'd be like what are you talking about you know like yeah that's the thing I don't eat I I eat because I want something that tastes good not be

cause it's sustainable I I don't I don't want to sustain my appetite I want to fill my appetite they're hard to clean too oh are they pull the skin you know little hands hard can't pull the skin yeah you go to just kind of go yeah I just started thinking do you remember when Campbell Soup started making those soups in the red can no I played outside Greg [Laughter] [Applause] oh your clapping only encourages Nationwide bullying so tyus you're the expert here uh this is UN this is stupid uh first

of all the amount of money spent on maintaining them is will kill you you can STI a cow out in the yard and get some grass and stuff the snake has to have a certain temperature they won't grow they won't eat that you got to keep them and because they're from a tropical climate yeah you can pull the off in Asia where they're from but if you do that in Wisconsin snake farming every winter unless popsicle snakes are real popular their asses ain't making it snakes yeah I I breed ball pythons and st

uff and I can't say it anytime I was like man this looks delicious yeah so again this is one of these ideas they have that they say stuff on the wall and you're denan I guarantee you're right they saw something on Twitter about burmes pythons being evasive species in Florida and they said instead of wondering why our infrastructure so screwed up and routing ships are so screwed up they're like you know what we can make them eat them yeah it's so sustainable but yeah but you a you ain't eating my

babies no around and find out come get my snakes all right before we go a quick announcement I'm going back on tour this summer come see me live with special guest Tomo I love Tom I'll be in Red Bank New Jersey Fort Lauderdale Durham Durham and Las Vegas go to ggutfeld.com for Ticket info hey Sean Hannity here hey click here to subscribe to Fox News YouTube page and catch our hottest interviews and most compelling analysis you will not get it anywhere else