Indian Vlogging Gone Insane

Every situation is a vlog if you're vlogger enuf. (words to live by) Child. You came? Before departing, for once, please say "Like, share, subscribe" for the vlog! (nani the f-?) Don't forget the bell icon. Appear a bit more sick... we'll get sympathy ya know, sympathy. (grandma be like: guess i'll be unalived) (rip, in both senses of the word) (grandma: time to leave the planet) GRANDMA OUTRO!! *monitor beeeeeeeeeep* Grandma herself got out. *beeping continues channeling grandma's inner rage* S

o like grandma was about to say make sure to subscribe. So guys my parents' divorce is ongoing there Comment and tell if you're Team Mommy or Team Daddy. (team logic ftw) Please help me up!! No no keep lying down the thumbnail is brilliant, the thumbnail is great. Great pose....POSE. *camera clicks* *camera clicks* (meanwhile someone: MADAM ONCE MORE) YouTube has changed now. Some time ago, with every free Jio sim there was a tech channel. *incessant non-technical chants of Technical Rahul* Tech

nical Hindi, Urdu, Marathi, Bengali But now, there's a new fever on the rise. DaiLy VlOgGiNg. Instead of opening boxes on camera whole lives are being laid bare. "Where did I hit him accidentally?" (in deeznuts) *meanwhile person groans* Build quality is tested... of relationships. *sus music* *WHACK* (yoooo WTF) Even if they lose their lives vlogging should go on. (titanic except this Jack is dumb) *camera gurgles* Whoever has a front camera in the phone they're suffixing "Vlog" to their nam

es. Think of any name. In fact, whatever words you can think of when you look at me say those. (bad idea) Lazy. (EmOtiOnAL DaMaGe) Lazy vlogs. Worthless. (oof) Worthless Vlogs. Illiterate. Illiterate vlogs. Unemployed. Unemployed Vlogs. Idle. Idle Vlogs. Absurd. Absurd Vlogs. Dumbass. Dumbass Vlogs. Chu****- Chu**** Vlog (press F) That's it! That's it. Even if there are any other vlogs I don't wanna know them. Handsome Vlogs Hard working Vlogs I had also searched for. THAT WASN'T SAID. Oi, wait.

- THAT WASN'T SAID *sobs* Are there any crybaby vlogs? Crybaby? (fun fact: there are) Usually when there is something interesting in life, or you travel then vlogging was done. But now. "So now we're going" "to buy my underwear" (um ok) "We're going to buy Tanishk's underwear" Underwear vlog! We're going to buy underwear! Underwear vlog! Underwear vlog! I'm blessed to see such content! *Text: she has gone mad* Whatta content oho underwear vlog. (damaging aftermath of watching dumb vlogs) "So b

uy the blue one" "Not so much blue" "We can take this bro" "So uncle give us this one" Thank God my parents weren't vloggers. Otherwise the entire class would've been giving me new pinch. *mimics* New underwear huh we saw the vlog ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) show show! *elastic snaps* Huhhh it's fit bosss. (new fear unlocked) Went to mall to buy underwear. (good for you ig?) Oh my God! *applause* Someone prepare the popcorn for this masterpiece. "Idk I wanna buy an underwear" "mine is ripped" "Eheheh" (umm fbi

this guy right here) Trial room? (HOL UP) YO DON'T SHOW US THE WEARING PROCESS You need a vest more now. "What I had come to buy, this is it" "Underwear." "Because I don't have underwear and vest" "Because I don't have underwear and vest" Meaning you went commando today hawwwww shame shame puppy shame! Previously, people had heartfelt talks to establish a heart-to-heart connect with audience. Now what kind of connection are you trynna make here?!?! (with the tower within) Even the ad for the un

derwear says this is internal matter. Y'all brought everything out. Removed underwear on cam- (sir the hub you're looking for is in the next block) Someone switch on the incognitio. TURN IT ON This is looking real absurd in the watch history. They don't wanna be the Casey Neistat or Logan Paul of vlogging directly Johnny Sins. (how sinful) And go ahead and cancel Bigg Boss because common people are telecasting their dirty linen in public. "Not me, I have left you and gone" "I'm switching off m

y phone" "No no I'm switching off my phone now" (the other phone recording this:👁👄👁) Turn off your camera first. "I'm gonna break my phone I'm gonna break my sim" Yeah you'll anyway get a new phone from this vlog. *cash machine cha chings like money* Break it. "I'm not doing drama" (you sho bout that?) "I'm not doing drama" "Please explain to me what I should do" "Should I go back home?" "Or should I get separated from him?" Such big life decisions they wanna take through KBC Audience Poll!

"I'm not doing drama". Mom fell down? Vlog. Wife is crying in the middle of the night? Vlog. "This girl, she's been crying for so long" "See even now her crying isn't stopping" (maybe the camera has something to do) *muah* Please stop crying. Turn this way and cry. A bit. Lemme switch off the fan lest the tears should dry. Anything happens in their vlogs dude. There's no stability at all. And in our families, the same advice is given for stability for years. FD (= Fixed Deposit) Get an FD, break

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d sheets nothing is private anymore BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE EVEN MAKING BATHING VLOGS! *soap jingle plays* *intense scrubbing* These people must then be bathing with open doors at home. YouTube had the tagline "Broadcast Yourself". Everything...broadcast Snakes' wedding night. My first vlog. (bruh) Move aside move aside! YouTube star is born! Nat Geo is thinking that even they weren't able to show wedding night of snakes. If I were to get caught watching this, my dad will take me to a doctor before

whooping. The dude barely saw two creatures together and directly termed it wedding night. An emoji in the title too. That God... Me? When? "It's really cold, as you can see" (sus silhoutte in background) "Oh damn" "Who is sitting there?" (professional actor) "Are you mad??" "Will you straight up take a dump on the road?" Will you straight up start vlogging anywhere? I'll hit you with this pot. GET OUT. "This guy is shitting dude" (uhh no shit?) What were you expecting in the field this early i

n the morning? White horses? Wedding night of chickens? "Why am I insane?" "Insane is the world" "that eats and shits in the same house" _ "YEAAHHH" (OMIGOD SAVAGE LEVEL OVER 9000) "Look at us, we go outside to take a dump" "Yeah take a dump outside" Public toilets closed! Akshay Kumar is crying in the movie. Vlogging used to be "today I got a job" "today I won the lottery" Today I was struck with loose motions. (very crappy vlog) *farts* W-what...am I supposed to do with this...info? *crickets

chirp* C-congrats bro. 20 TIMES LOOSE MOTION. (SIS U OK?) Lemme jot this down in the diary real quick. Seems like aunty was tally counting on bathroom tiles like prisoners. Will you be happy after making it to the Guinness Book of Records? Stop now. I was struck with loose motion while vlogging. You pooped so much in the vlog What even is left for loose motion? (D E S T R U C T I O N 100) "Bro Reel- you're concerned about Reels" "I am having loose motion in such heat" "Come with me" "Yo then

I'll go to Big Bazaar bro" (= a retail chain) - "For pooping?" Of course. "Yo then I'll go to Big Bazaar bro" Poor Big Bazaar. This guy is going to take a Big Dump there. "Yo then I'll go to Big Bazaar bro" - "For pooping?" Of course. Of course? As if the entire village comes to take a dump there. "Reached finally. Phewww" (uhh SIR STOP THE CAMERA) (*eyes have left the chat*) DUDE CLOSE THE CAMERA NOW AT LEAST. YOOO I DON'T WANNA LISTEN TO THE SOUND EFFECTS. Thank you. I thought he would make

us listen to the whole catastrophe. Everyone comes to a shop to take things this guy gave stuff to them! (Uno reverse) Such a generous man! They themselves show whatever and on top of that even their family's privacy is at stake. While sleeping, the poor brother's hand sneaked into some caves (Deep Dark Biome found) They put it in the vlog! "HEHEHEHEHE" "there's a lot of itching bro lots of itching" If there's a vlogger at home then people will have to sleep like an egg roll. (everyday, we stray

further from humanity) *Farts in reverb* (Gigafart) Keeping things to oneself, that concept is finished. THEY WANT TO SCREAM EVERYTHING ON A LOUDSPEAKER. Cheating in online exam vlog. *police sirens* 100 out of 100. You'll only get 100 slaps from mom. Cheating in exam! "The paper is about to begin" "and since we can't shoot in here, let's go" *Toilet in exams* "Guys here cheating is being done friends." "Look there's the bathroom" "And the exam...these people are here with the excuse of bathroo

m ehehehe" By saying "May I go to the toilet" they're vlogging about cheating in exam! They're writing answers on hand. Someone even called up the tuition teacher! "Sir short question short question" "Here cheating in the bathroom guys" (the entire syllabus of that semester in shambles) THESE MANY CHITS?!?! (fr) Were they peeing urine or chits from the kidney?? THE ENTIRE SYLLABUS IS THERE FOR EVERY SUBJECT They didn't take extra supplements for answers BUT FOR MAKING CHITS. *exaggerated laugh

ing effect because the audience ain't having any of it* He's laughing that who on earth pees in the toilet? (normal people) DUMBASS. "GUYS IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAM WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE??" In our school, not even two people were allowed to go to washroom simultaneously And here the entire class is out for a picnic. What kinda cheap thrills did you use to knock out the teacher?? They spent one and half hour outside for a two-hour exam! Even that 30 times loose motion aunty didn't take this much

time! "Hey bro are you done?" *general chatter and giggling* *more giggles* There's no school staff at all! The dogs are more concerned about the students' future! Is the bathroom in some other district altogether?? They need to switch four buses to come here and poop, which is why no teacher is able to arrive? *discussion of answers* They have henna of answers on their palms now. There's no space left for such a long answer. Just from the henna of answers on hands "I have passed. Pass. Pass."

"Clear." For topping they would've had to turn into Ghajini. WE ARE GOING TO PULL A HEIST. (Hello? FBI?) Mumbai Police has subscribed to your channel! By pressing the bell icon! Congrats! This generation won't be able to do shit in World War bro. They'll announce everything in the vlog. WE GONNA PULL A SNEAKY ON THE BORDER!! GONNA LAUNCH A MISSILE AT 4 PM!! (National security: am I a joke to you?) Aunties, housewives used to share their grievances with frens. But now. They tell it to the whole

internet! Because happiness increases by sharing. And by sharing sorrows, views increase! (stonks rise) I should change my name to utensil-washing maid the life of a housewiiiiiifeee *sobbing* *sed housewife noises* Why does this sound familiar- *Realization dawns* Didn't know my mom didn't throw taunts but YouTube titles my way. My husband fought with me in the morning and went away. It's all my fault. *more sedness* There, the moment the husband reaches the office Hey guys. You didn't do right

by your wife. Was your conference call with the client or my wife? Yesterday's vlog. I am a subscriber. Me too. Everyone makes a vlog. I'll have to put an end to this before the next vlog. *notification ping* My husband went to the office without taking a bath... (rip social life) This too was exposed! DIIIIVOOOORCEEEEE My mom strangled me for fun. (disguising pain as humor) Thank you God. For giving no fun at all in our family. We are happy being depressed. Mom make something so that there can

be some fun! (so you have chosen...death) *Family fun* I'LL TURN YOU INTO A LIVING CORPSE. (the walking dead) Your 2 second thought CAN TURN INTO A 10 MINUTE VLOG. Studied after two days. So here's your medal. Drank lemonade today! So here's your trophy. Broken vlog. So here's your fevikol. I am sleepy. Then sleep. I am hungry. (then perish) Then eat. Couldn't shoot a vlog today. (then tf is this) THEN IS THIS A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION YOU'VE UPLOADED?? AnD vLoGgErS AnD ThEiR KiDs. We make ONA

when we run low on content. These people birth a baby! So many baby channels. They learnt vlogging before learning to wash themselves. Even China is scared shitless from Indian vloggers that the gold medal for population is gone now. We're too late for vlogging man. When you were pregnant then only you should've fed him a camera so that the baby could come out doing an Insider vlog. Now put it in IIT. We used to get scolded that we keep watching videos all day. And now the kids are scolding th

e parents like: "Whenever I eat something, drink something" "everywhere you invade with a camera" "Yesterday I was pooping and there too you came with a camera" "Every kid's parents want that they become an influencer" "All day video, video, video" (damn bruh chill) Stress turned Sonu from Nursery into retired Shukla uncle. Name the child content. Content! Come hither. High production value. It took 9 months to create this content (#dedication) Our content has started to pick up pace now! *a ro

und of applause* We had made its Insta account beforehand Content came later. "B for...ball" "C for... " "CAT" Yo not this. S-U-B-S-C-R-I What are you holding in hand? Record everyone. Yoo stand up, you can't vlog from such a low angle. Stand up!! *funky upbeat music to cover up for the lack of enthusiasm from kid* (WASTED) Say Hey Guys! Hey Guys! *some creepy doll music plays* YAYYYYYYYY (mission failed. we'll get 'em next time) (influencer parents in the wild) You don't understand; Content jus

t gave content! (poop sesh) Make thumbnail, make the thumbnail. Yeah shove it in the camera! We taught the virtue of lying. (meanwhile kid crab raves) Will need it for clickbait later. (Shakira is shook) I told to show it vlogs who is showing him Nora Fatehi?! Today is Content's Happy Birthday! Your new toy! (kid: I can't stand this no more. geddit? stand coz camera stand...?ok) Uh, at least try playing with it its really fun! *kid wailing* I even got an SD Card! Today we'll be teaching Content

about drone shots! *sus drone noises* (KID YEETED) (drone: peace was never an option) (disclaimer: please don't watch dumb vlogs and avoid the damaging aftermath of watching them) So that is it for today guys. (So long, soldier) And if you don't wanna beat the record of that 20 times loose motion aunty then do subscribe. Because if you don't then you'll suffer at least 30-40 times (*smashes subscribe button*) And don't forget to check out Groww's newly launched FDs And safely invest on Groww Ap

p. Link in the description. Follow us on social media and we'll see you guys in the next one. (Toodles!) But maybe they don't vlog everything ya know. At least something. Uncle's thirteenth. (= rituals done on 13th day after a person's death) Fun on the thirteenth??? (bro their soul is gonna slap you into the afterlife) I am leaving YouTube. YOOO WTF ARE Y'ALL DOING??? (cheap thrills) AT LEAST CLOSE THE CAMERA SOMETIMES.