so many people think that we are
insanely extroverted people who it's so easy to get out there and meet people
right and that that's not necessarily the case welcome to another episode of everyday badassery
this is a traveling podcast meant to inspire you to be just one percent more badass today than you
were yesterday i'm your host christine lozada and this episode is filmed in new orleans and if
you are watching today's episode on youtube i am using a shark as a microphone you normally
u
se it to take shots at the bar and yes i did just sit on the floor and eat a burrito right
before this episode while drinking champagne but this is true travel life it is way more
important to me to get these stories out to you and the world than it is to fix my hair which
in this episode it is wild in and nobody told me but whatever this episode is really important to
me because so many people say to me ah it must be so easy for you because you're an extrovert
and i'm not i'm actually an o
mnivert and if you read susan cain's quiet spaces you'll know
what i'm talking about see the show notes below but this episode is a great one it's with leah
la in flight let's bring her in i'm leah la in flight thank you miss christine for having me
on here what is your intro actually what do you what do you say about who you are i'm a podcaster
event manager and podcast consultant by trade but i'm a slow traveler solo traveler fueled by coffee
the rest of my life yeah oh that's so good so
all of her info will be in the description below make
sure you find her where did travel start for you hmm i traveled a lot domestically with my family
road trips literally all over north america canada and the us every summer three weeks without fail
with the family really so that was like my first love of travel and then of course when i got into
college i started flying started going to vegas um it wasn't until i was starting to make disposable
income yeah when i graduated and you know f
irst went off to spain then nicaragua and then did a
year in south america and then a year in australia and then that's when it really started rolling was
after that year in south america i love that all right so you have a heck of a travel background
but when did becoming extroverted and really getting out and meeting people was that always
from the beginning or something that came later i do feel like it's a muscle that i had to flex i
remember my first few trips alone to meet friends i h
ad to really drag myself even though i'm
an introverted person considering myself i'm sorry an extroverted
person okay i was like hold on i am extroverted with a touch of introvert
now that i'm getting older but you know it's that time to like relax and recharge but
the first few trips i remember i had to even drag myself out and be like okay you can do
that like hype myself up i'm like all right have a drink to calm the nerves and sometimes it would
take a couple hours to go be social why
in the so for me as a solo traveler i actually a lot of
people are like oh christine you're so extroverted like you're it's so easy for you to meet people
you must meet so many people when you travel and for me i actually don't want to meet people when
i travel travel for me is actually my time my solo time and i actually don't talk to a lot of people
so for you you actually want your motivation is to meet people is that right yes why because i feel
and i i repeat this everywhere i can lik
e i feel that everyone has a story and to me i i love
meeting foreigners as much as i love meeting locals which is why i stay in a lot of hostels and
you know arguably some of my trips to be honest have been like in other foreign countries with
only foreigners which is not i mean that's not the greatest you want to immerse yourself in the local
culture right um but i have made that mistake a few times and you know it's not something i'm like
ashamed nor proud of it's just something that i r
ecognize and and take for the next trip and say
okay next time immerse yourself a little bit more into the culture meet more locals and don't just
stay with other english speakers essentially well which especially with hostile life there's a lot
of times actually this is an assumption on my part just as an as someone as an outsider i have not
stayed at a hostage this is an outsider looking in it seems like a lot of people who do the hostile
light don't necessarily get outside of that right
and don't meet the locals that are there right but
at the same time it's not easy to always meet the locals especially when there's a language barrier
right so it's easier to stay with people who speak your language i'm curious because it's not always
balloons and flowers and rainbows meeting people on the road and putting yourself out there
can have a lot of good which we'll get into but i'm curious about a time in which it didn't
go your way or it was not necessarily the best thing to put
yourself out there and meet others
every anytime is a good time to put yourself out there and meet others where it's backfired on
me that has been more often than you would think but you just kind of have to take the rejection
and use it as fuel and and remember that you're not everyone's cup of tea everyone is not going to
like everyone that's not how the world works right but if you're a good person you're a kind person
you do no harm you know evil you know you can get along well in life
but specific times i mean there
have been plenty of times in a hostel while i'll try to strike up a conversation with someone and
you also don't know what's going on on their end oh that's so true you have no like do not some
people have just found out about maybe a death back home or something money problems back home
something like that or you know their flight got canceled they don't have money to buy a new blah
blah blah all different types of situations so try to be cognizant of that
but there are plenty
of times where i've gone up to people and you know they're usually so they're not in the mood after a
few seconds you can just tell like all right this person clearly doesn't want to have a conversation
that's one of those things so for somebody who's listening to this who's like oh man it's so
hard to put myself out there i don't really know how to do it and i don't want to be rejected we
are rejected all the time all the time there are so many times so one of my new y
ear's resolutions
and i shared this with you was i decided i am just going to talk to everybody like i know them
and that completely has changed my experience not just with travel but with my every day right
so when i was picking up my coffee today it's oh yo how you doing like i hope you're having like
hope you're having a great day i would like an americano with a crapload of cream in it and it it
opens people up to you in a new way but they might offer something oh my gosh like you don't
know
my favorite thing to have with americano is it's blah blah blah or maybe he sells that breakfast
sandwich to anybody i got one in the bag literally right there not afterwards she sold it to you yeah
but it it invites conversation and the other thing is when you put that energy out yes other people
pick up on it in the room and so others that might want to have a conversation with you might
be open to approaching you as well 100 and that doesn't happen all the time and so as i put myse
lf
out to the world in that way a lot of times again you don't know what people are going through and
some people are just like i have no desire to talk to you and that's perfectly fine yep i was going
to say another thing that i have to remember often is that think of all the times you've actually
rejected people too absolutely it's a lot just kidding it's like the tables are turned
sometimes the tables are turning you know it's like oh i'm not really vibing with this person
it's like you
have to kind of humble yourself and be like oh wait what about the times whether
you're not vibing with someone or you're just not in the mood in that moment yes we're not always at
a hundred percent we don't always feel like having a conversation even the extroverts not always
100 and actually hold on this brings up a really important topic which the whole reason why we're
doing this and make sure you watch the other video link in the description below check the show
notes is because i go
t the opportunity to host you and what was what was the title of your event it
was getting out and meeting people on the road presented to the nomadic network yes which was
a fantastic and well attended and the chat was fire event and it was so much fun to host that so
make sure you check that in the show notes but one thing that was fascinating to me this is a topic
that is so natural to you were you how did you feel going into that presentation i love that
i can express my concerns with y
ou because not even kidding i was fighting for my life beforehand
nervous basically crying sweating and i was like why am i so nervous because i'm a cnn host like
christine so she leah has hosted so many of these events you're a podcaster you are an extroverted
person and she was nervous to do this event and when i signed on early for the meeting to prepare
everything before we got started i was like girl i can't believe you're nervous so nervous
but it's so important to know that because a
s an extroverted person sometimes we just are
that way and so if you are ever feeling like i'm nervous about putting myself out there it's
hard yeah it's hard for everybody absolutely even the person putting on the presentation
about the damn thing and you did an awesome job there were so many great tools and
resources and ideas to put yourself out there and part of this podcast episode is about
showing you the behind the scenes of it's not easy and one of the things that i think
is really
important is not only is it not easy it's not easy if you're not constantly practicing
yes in other words in my opinion confidence is not something you're born with it's not something
you have it's something that you gain over time and you have to just like a muscle practice
and flex that muscle otherwise it goes away yep it goes away yep absolutely hold on let me let
me ask you if you have a tip so if you have do you have a tip for somebody who might not feel uh
like ah it's not easy for
them to put themselves out there and meet people what's like a good
tip for them to get started honestly start small go to a coffee shop or breakfast alone a quick
snack sit somewhere alone in public at the park at a library somewhere where you used to think you
need a ton of people a whole entire group around you yeah but start small and start short
like it can be 10 minutes 15 minutes but if you really want to go out be confident
meet people you have to start somewhere yeah hold on you're
gonna love this one okay so one of
my favorite is to dine at places where you can sit um like at a bar and it doesn't have to be
alcohol bar although i do love alcohol right that's a different setting that's a different
an alcohol bar can be a different setting where people want to meet you in a different way
which you may not want but if you just want to talk to everyday people one of my favorites
is going to somewhere like momofuku in new york where you sit at the at the bar where
every
one's in these single seats dining alone and it's so easy because especially there you are
dying this close to people and it's so easy to strike up a conversation and one of one of the
times i went to new york my first times in new york i was dining at momofuku noodle bar and i sat
next to this guy his name was adam and he he saw me like looking through the the google map of like
the places i wanted to go to and he just kind of glanced and he was like do you want some rec are
you listening
do you want some recommendations and we spent the entire meal with him giving
me recommendations i just got goosebumps we spent the next seven years staying in touch
because i went to every single spot whoa that he suggested the nicest guy i love him over social
media never saw him again but he had the best list because he had lived in new york for over 10 years
and so i it was amazing it was a great way to meet people so start small it doesn't have to be the
i'm going to go do this crazy s
olo trip abroad and meet all these people like that's a lot and that's
hard to do first thing it is it's hard like small start in your backyard 100 start at home yes start
out even like i feel that because i never used to do this pre-pandemic to be honest going on picnics
alone like literally only started this two years ago which is kind of crazy but it's really good
for confidence in learning how to be with yourself and maybe not do anything when i'm at a picnic
at a park i try to be off m
y phone cause i'm like i can be on my phone anywhere like let me enjoy
the sunshine let me read a book let me draw paint i don't draw paint but like you know if you draw
paint i highly recommend doing that out in nature the thing i love about being at a bar as well is
that you um the bartenders are kind of trained and designed to talk to people and engage with people
who are there solo or they're looking for someone to talk to they're kind of designed for that
fair so totally fair and you c
an actually ask your bartender for various things so let me let
me give you two examples of something i've done one is i have been out and there are times i
don't want to talk to people i'm tired i've had a great day exploring wherever i'm exploring
and i will go to the bar and what i will do is i will sit at the bar stool and i will take the
barstool next to me and i will turn it toward me and i will put my jacket on it and then i will
order my drink and then i order a second drink whether
it's a water and i ask them to put it
in like a rocks glass okay and i put a napkin over it so it looks like someone's sitting there
whoa which means if you want to come talk to me you will know that somebody is coming any second
and so this is not going to be a long conversation yeah yeah yeah in other words it's a it's an
it's a kind block so people will not come that is very nice of you and on the other side well the
other thing i will do is if i if i don't do that but i'm not feeling i
n the mood to meet someone
i will tell the bartender anytime somebody wants to buy me a drink who wants to do a shot with
me charge them for the drink but pour me water yeah yeah wow how many people are you getting
to buy you shots oh let's not talk about that on the other hand though it's interesting because
i know obviously body language says so much yes so when i do want to talk to people which i'd say is
probably sixty percent of the time at bar a little more than half right three-fourt
hs of the time
i turned my i thought you would open a hundred percent of the time it isn't because sometimes i
just um i just want to be alone in my thoughts i just want to drink by myself or i do just want to
talk to bartender because the bartender like their first job is serving drinks their second job
is engaging with the people right so it's like i just kind of want to sit alone my thoughts like
it's it's weird there are times where i want to be in a crowd but i don't want to interact w
ith
the crowd i just want to be alone together which is why i think i do so well in cities
and do so groups sometimes because i can be alone but with others because as an extrovert
you get your your energy from other people so it's almost like i'm kind of charging in the
middle of a crowd and then okay give me five minutes and i can be social again so it's it's
kind of rare that i walk away and i'm like all right like i don't want to be around all these
people blah blah you know but someti
mes i'm not in the thick of it and not myself being part of
you know the crowd so i love that um but yeah a lot of times i'll open my body language up
and sit it's funny because when you're saying i i sit sideways like oh yeah i sit sideways
to welcome people you're like i sit sideways and block off the chair i'm like oh okay well
that's different from what i was going to say i said sideways and like yeah talk to you know
because if your body language is open more people are like approachin
g whereas i've sat at the bar
before and i've been like straight ahead closed off it's true kind of not head down but you know
like seeing like this very signifies like this is my box don't come in it so and again going back
to starting small it could be while you're out read a room look around spend time looking up
remove the headphones stop staring at your phone and just glance around the room and
who do you see there that are open and who looks approachable versus who's not and which
on
e do you want to be it doesn't even have to be and go approach them and just be who do you want
to be all right do they have the body language that you want to have can you mirror that etc
okay let's talk about a magical experience oh okay tell me about a time that by putting yourself
out there and meeting new people something beautiful has happened girl two of my best friends
in my life i've met them by going up to them be like hi i've heard a lot about you i'm leah my
absolute best friend
s one of them in college um she had one we were in this super nerdy but
incredible marketing organization in school and they're like oh kristen she won employee of the
month or um member of the month i'm like i don't know this and i you know was like i know everyone
in this organization yeah 100 organization like how do i know they're like and it was trizzy she's
like oh she's new and she came to these events alone and i'm like i'm gonna meet her so i waited
they told me like oh yeah she's
in like marketing 490 right now so i waited outside her classroom
and i was like hi i'm leah i heard you won member of the month congrats and we're still like 15
years later we're still good friends to this day and then one of my i mean this was kind of a shoe
and one of my best friends who's out in london uh she also became bar staff with me at the
loki hostels in peru when we were bartending together and it's a volunteer position yeah
but i went up to her i was like oh i saw your bags in
the room you're our new roommate
new bartender i'm leah and you know as of three months ago i went to visit her for her
milestone birthday in london six years later some of my friends i've just met by straight up
going up to them and that's always a chance you don't know if they're going to take that well
you could have gotten completely rejected 100 but those are some of my favorite memories we're
like wow it worked on the first time like i love that this is good you know do you know the s
tory
of how i met meatball i met meeple and actually the number one place you're not supposed to meet
people which is a cruise you're not supposed to meet your significant other or whomever on
a cruise and we were at a headphones party a headphone part a headphones party if
you don't know what it is silent disco there's headphones and everyone's listening to one
sometimes in this instance two different djs and you can see by the color of your headphones which
dj you're listening to and he
and i were always listening to the same ones throughout the night
and i music to me is everything and for every super obscure hip-hop song that would come on he
was always singing the lyrics perfectly verbatim and i a whole night went by like i'm talking
five hours and i never talked to him i never approached him i never danced with him nothing at
the end of the night i had had the best time and i felt so frustrated because i needed to know why he
knew the lyrics and i walked up to him ripp
ed off his headphones and i was like sit down and tell
me why you know all the lyrics all my favorite obscure hip hop songs and that was a chance but i
really wanted to know that answer and that began my relationship with meatball it's also because
he's a dj and i was like oh that's annoying i can so see you going i when you told me this story
i saw you in my head going off and be like why do you know the songs that i do i was like this
is so crazy exactly how it went down hurry tell me bec
ause i need to leave i'm gonna go to bed i
need to drink water go to bed did you say you're only two on the dance floor right uh no no no no
there was some how magical would that have been no absolutely not i didn't even dance with him oh
i danced with him after after i had asked them tell me a recent time that you had to get out
of your comfort zone i'll tell you mine first yes a recent time i had to get out of my comfort
zone right now we are wonderful's wander fest but last week i was tr
aveling in portland oregon for
women's travel fest an all-women travel conference fantastic it was what was so awesome but also
equally uncomfortable for me i don't think i told you the story is we have been in a time in
which people have been online people have been connecting on social media and i was so excited
to finally meet so many people which was fantastic but what i didn't realize was by putting
myself out to the world my messages around travel drones badasser etc i didn't realize
how
many people have been on the other side watching and during this conference this festival so many
women were coming up to me and thanking me for various things i bought my drone because of you
your podcast has helped me to break up with my significance whatever it might be move on with my
life and so many of them approached me thanked me or were excited to finally meet me or were asking
me if they could take a picture of me that is that's so sweet though it really is but for me
it it i
t was it was really awesome but it was very uncomfortable because it was like so many
people know me so intimately how much do you know about me and leah after listening or watching this
podcast episode you know us and some of our fears and our vulnerabilities very intimately yeah but
for you and please comment below with how this this podcast is affecting you because we don't
know anything about you and so for me to be at this travel festival having so many people know
me intimately and be
able to have these stories around why it's impacted them and that piece
of content and i don't know anything about them was both phenomenal magical amazing and very
uncomfortable for me i could see that i love it that's awesome when were you uncomfortable okay
so i was thinking of two situations um but the the one that stood out to me the most was i was
in london in november working remotely celebrating one of my best friend's birthdays and i got to
meet up with a ton of friends that came
out from outside of london into town which was so sweet
it's nice you know i didn't have transportation so they came out to me one of them was a friend
who i had a fiery connection with about five six years ago in colombia and he is um you know an
england native so we haven't seen and he's not on social media so all of our our catching up is via
whatsapp and he's like oh come out to the pub with my friends and i i'm like i haven't seen this guy
in six years we barely keep in touch um it's v
ery sporadic but i was like you know what like we had
a really good time we hiked guatepay in medellin colombia is amazing like like absolutely stunning
and we had a fun day like eating popsicles we took a beer to the top counting the steps like it
was very random but we had a great connection like we hit it off right away and so i went out with
him and my friends and i was like we're gonna talk about after six years like he went to grad
school in the u.s so he got to talk about like the cu
ltural differences which was great yeah
yeah but me it was interesting because i had to basically get an uber to outside of london so
paying for that getting ready for that taking the time to go out there so the whole ride out
there i was like kind of brainstorming ideas of what we could talk about luckily we played pool
at the pub and like tried different drinks and he made fun of me for ordering a hot toddy the
second time i walked in cause extroverteds like brainstorming topics things to
talk about
is having a little anxiety while driving i would never have guessed you would feel that
way yeah it was it was intense because i was like well you know if this doesn't pan
out like a fun night meeting new people plus reconnecting with him i can always
uber home yeah you know and how'd it go no no absolutely not he was so sweet and it
was interesting how much we had grown like he's training and studying to become a doctor
so it's it's interesting how much we've grown in my caree
r had changed you know twice since
then and we're both like traveling and carefree yeah and so he was back in england kind of posted
up and you know i was back in l.a and and it was it was scary and i don't know any of his friends
i only knew him and hung out with him for a day yeah so that was really i was like putting myself
out there but i was like i'm in london for two weeks and i'm like seizing every opportunity i can
get to connect with the people here friends or old friends you know
so hell yeah yeah for somebody
who's listening or watching this podcast episode what would you want them to take away from your
from your story i would say to be honest you don't always have to want to go out there and make
friends there are times where you want to keep to yourself and i get that my presentation was for
those people who want to shift into that mindset and go out there and meet people or become better
at it but like i said earlier start small remember that you know rejection
is absolutely normal and
trust your gut take care of yourself you know stay as safe as possible but trust your gut if you
don't feel like it's the right situation then you can bounce also yeah so by putting yourself out
there to the world so many beautiful things your best friends my meatball boyfriend can happen yep
you know i heard actually an interesting statistic years ago because i had a friend who was the
opposite of me where i am open to opportunities and she is very closed off to o
pportunities
and the people who are open to opportunities honestly get like 50 to 70 percent more of what
they want in life than those people who are no no no people do you see my eyeballs right now isn't
that crazy though it's like and you think about it you let that sink in for a minute you're like
you're right actually how is the world supposed to know that you want something if you're not
putting yourself out to the world or asking asking that's a big thing for it the answer is
always
going to be no if you do not ask absolutely are you a badass major key i am a badass because
i know christine thinks i'm a badass so i am yes thank you prior to knowing that i thought you
were a badass why do you think you're a badass oh you know i've take i feel like i've taken a
lot of risks with career and travel in my life and because i work hard and try to make the best
connections and relationships that i can whether that's personal romantic professional um all those
types of relation
ships i feel that when i want my way i can get it but you has to be a combination
of working hard doing right and and putting yourself out there having that confidence hell
yeah and where can people find you people can find me la and flight everywhere everywhere you can
think of ticket to anywhere podcast is my podcast we featured christine on there just a few months
ago ticket number two anywhere podcast that's on youtube anywhere you can listen and i am la like
in los angeles la in flight
on every single social media platform you can find hell yeah i think you
can see why i love leah make sure you follow her her info is in the show notes below as well as her
podcast and the episode that i am on make sure you download your free badassery journal to journal
along with us as you're listening i'm christine lozada i'm your host i'm here every week go forth
be badass we'll see you in the next one ciao
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