B -We're back with
Kenan Thompson. Now, this is not the only book
you've written this year. You also have done some writing
under a pen name. -Yes, I have a pen name
that I like to write under. -You've been doing
some science fiction work? -That's right, I introduced
it here for the first time, the actual fact that I am
the one and only Pernice. So, yeah, if I could, um... -Do you want to...
Would it be helpful? I would love to talk to Pernice.
And would you want to leave? -He's been writing mor
e
and more and more. And there's a new book
that he wrote that he would like to present. -Alright. So, well, why don't
you leave, Kenan, and then we'll bring out
Pernice Lafonk. -Yeah, I'm gonna, 'cause
we're two different people. -Of course.
-Know what I mean? So I'm gonna go.
and then Pernice will appear. So that'll be that.
Yeah, yeah. -And I want to make it clear -- your team, as you call them, has made it very clear to me
when you're out, I should only refer
to you as Pernice. -It would be
nice.
Yes, it would be nice. Yeah. Thank you very much. -Okay. So why don't you go
and I'll give... -I'll go now.
-Okay, great. -I'll go now. Alright.
Just coming back. [ Cheers and applause ] -Our next guest is a gifted
science fiction writer who you know from his
bestseller "Quinsley's Nebula," part of his wildly popular
Quark series. Here to talk about his
highly anticipated follow-up, please welcome back
to the show Pernice Lafonk. [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ Pernice, what an honor
to have
you back, back on the show. -It is a pleasure to see you
as well, Seth Meyers. -Now, Pernice, I hear --
you know, I have connections, contacts in
the literary sphere -- that you're dabbling in a new
genre called space erotica. -Yes.
-Would you -- would you do us an honor of reading
an excerpt from your latest? And what is this one?
I'll hand you a copy here. What is this one called?
-Uh, this is my latest work, called
"Amazon Boobies on the Moon." -Uh-huh. Right. -You like that title, Sethly? -
I do, I do.
I enjoy that title a great deal. -Have I dipped my ink slightly
into erotica with this one? Perhaps just the tip. Uh, but you tell me, Seth.
Here we go. -Oh, this is the reading. "Amazon Boobies on the Moon"
by Pernice Lafonk. -We'll start with
chapter eight, naturally. Chapter eight, beta three. "Tokyo. Tokyo. Tune in, Tokyo. Tokyo. Toronto. Tunisia. Nada. Radio silence. The sounds of nothingness
echoed through his not-so-trusty spacecraft, the Perineum Falcon. 'Drab nabbit!' Lieute
nant
Val Deferens bellowed. 'The comms seem to be
malfunctioning again.' And then a series of gasps.
Hup, hup! Taking shallow breaths,
he became panic stricken as he watched
his oxygen levels drop. Drop slowly, sensually, like a loose spaghetti-strap
brassiere at the end
of a tough day at the office." Oh, this is good.
This is good stuff. [ Laughter ] "Val's mind raced with thoughts
of Bernadette and immediate regret. If only he hadn't squandered
the last of his lunar credits on the latest issue
of 'Pernthouse.' And what had become
of the promise that ne'er 'twould he
find himself in such a treacherous pickle. Penniless, surrounded
by alien dangerosity. Nevertheless, it can get
rather lonely in the deep, dark depths
of the universe. With one final 'ga-gonk,' Lieutenant Val Deferens
spanked the control 'pernel' with all of his might." -Pernel?
-Pernel. Yes. -"All of a sudden -- ka-toosh! Ba-bussy!" [ Laughter ] "The Perineum Falcon's engines
roared back to life with an electrical emissi
on that registered a double-D
on the dashboard." -Wow. I mean... [ Cheers and applause ] -It's good.
-Really. There you are.
That proves you wrote it. It proves you wrote it.
I mean, that... -My proof. -Not only does that tick every box I need
for good science fiction, that's also everything
I want out of my erotica. -Well, thank you very much. Thank you very much.
-I could tell... I hope you don't mind me
saying, I feel as though you were also maybe a little turned on
by your own writing. -Oh,
I keep
a constant erection as I'm -- as I'm -- as I'm sitting
at my typewriter. It's a must be the sound
of the clicks. -You have one of those
standing desks? -I stand at the desk
and I am just full out there, and just ready at any moment. -Yeah.
-Ready at any moment. -You know,
one of the telltale signs of arousal, as well, is when
someone's a sideburns flip out. -Yeah, that's a thing. When you're really,
really excited, your sideburns tend to flare.
-Yeah. -And that's what's happening
now, as
you can see. -Well, Publishers Weekly
said about this book -- "It's a real sideburn flarer."
-Yep. That's right. I think that's on the back,
actually. Publishers -- Yeah.
"Sideburn flarer." -Oh, my God. Well, Pernice...
-Thank you. -We do -- would love you
to promise to keep coming back and sharing
your new writing with us. -I shall, I shall. I wonder
where the next one will be. Maybe in the desert.
-Ooh! -What would that be called?
-Well, I love watching your mind work
in real time. -Right? May
be the desert. We'll write about the desert,
and scorpions. Yes. Scorpions, the sting. Ah, I love it. -Oh, my God, you guys.
That's Pernice Lafonk. A.k.a. Kenan Thompson. "SNL" returns this week -- Dakota Johnson,
Justin Timberlake. We'll be right back
with Ronny Chieng.
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