>>> OKAY, PELOTON, LET'S GO!
>> ONLY PELOTON DELIVERS 24/7 NONSTOP MOTIVATION FROM
WORLD-CLASS INSTRUCTORS RIGHT IN YOUR HOME.
>> YOU SMASHED IT! >> WHAT IF YOU'RE THE KIND OF
PERSON WHO DOESN'T RESPOND TO ENCOURAGEMENT?
>> YOU DID THIS! >> IF I HEAR THE PHRASE "YOU CAN
DO IT," I LITERALLY WON'T, JUST TO PROVE A POINT.
>> IF ANYONE YELLS THAT I CAN DO ONE MORE, I WILL IMMEDIATELY GET
OFF THIS THING, UNPLUG IT, AND GO SMOKE.
>> I CANNOT BE CHEER-LEADED, I KNOW MYSELF.
>> FOR THOSE PEOPLE WE INTRO
DUCE "PELO-TAUNT."
THE ONLY EXERCISE BIKE THAT PROVIDES YOU PERSONALIZED,
AT-HOME NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT, AND RELENTLESS CRITICISM.
>> READY TO DO THIS? >> NO.
>> I DON'T GIVE A [ BLEEP ], I GET PAID EITHER WAY.
>> HEY, I GUESS I COULD DO A LITTLE BIT, LOOK!
COME BACK! >> USING PATENTED PASSIVE
AGGRESSION, EACH PELO-TAUNT INSTRUCTOR WILL PULL FROM A
TOOLKIT OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION STYLES GUARANTEED
TO GET THE LAZIEST CYCLIST MOVING.
TECHNIQUES SUCH AS SNOTTY DISDAIN.
>> REALLY NICE BIG T-SHIRT
. DO YOU WEAR THIS TO SWIM?
>> NO. >> WELL, THANKS FOR WEARING IT
HERE. >> INSINCERE PRAISE.
>> OKAY, SUSAN, I KNOW YOU JUST HAD A BABY SO GO AT YOUR OWN
PACE. >> WHAT?
I DIDN'T HAVE A BABY. >> OH.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T? >> YEAH.
>> OH. OKAY.
WELL, MAYBE ONE DAY. >> AND A PLUG-IN ATTACHMENT
STYLE THAT WILL PUT YOU IN A STATE OF COMPLETE CODEPENDANCE.
>> I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO --
>> SHOULD I GO UP A LEVEL? >> I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST NOT
TALK. >> IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME,
I'M RIGHT
HERE. LOOK, LOOK AT ME, GUYS!
I'M DOING IT! >> NO CORNY INSPIRATIONAL
SPEECHES HERE. JUST WITHERING JUDGMENT SURE TO
GET YOUR HEART PUMPING AND YOUR BRAIN THINKING, "AM I BAD?"
>> GIVE IT UP FOR MIKE WHO'S WORKING OUT IN HIS GARAGE!
>> OH, NO, THIS IS MY LIVING ROOM.
>> WHAT? >> I FEEL MENTALLY BROKEN DOWN,
BUT HEY, I CAN SEE MY ABS. >> I HATE EXERCISE, BUT I HATE
SARAH MORE. >> THIS IS YOU --
>> PELO-TAUNT HAS ALL THE UPGRADED FEATURES THAT KEEP YOU
MOVING OUT OF SPITE. FEATURES LIKE GASLIGHTI
NG YOU
ABOUT HOW FAR YOU'VE GONE. >> HEY, IT SAID I DID FOUR RIDES
BUT I DID FIVE. >> NO, I THINK YOU DID FOUR.
IT'S A COMPUTER. >> LIVE VIDEO OF YOUR OWN ASS
FROM BEHIND WITH AN EXAGGERATED FISHEYE LENS.
>> OH GOD, IS THAT MINE? >> A CONSTANT PICTURE-IN-PICTURE
OF AN ELDERLY WOMAN WHO'S, LIKE, 1,000 TIMES BETTER THAN YOU.
>> IS THERE A WAY TO TURN IT OFF?
SHE'S KICKING MY ASS! >> A HUMILIATING SOUNDTRACK THAT
WILL MAKE YOU FEEL STUPID. [ CIRCUS MUSIC ]
>> AND -- STOP! THAT WAS GOOD.
>> IT WAS?
>> PELO-TAUNT.
ALSO AVAILABLE IN "MOM." >> WELL, THIS WAS A DUMB THING
TO BUY. GREAT JOB, MIKE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Comments
“I literally won’t, just to prove a point” LMAOOOO ME
“I don’t give a shit, I get paid either way” 😂
When my mother was running a marathon she asked me to drive to different locations on the course and tell her that she was doing terribly. She ended up finishing in very good time.
“I will immediately get off this thing, unplug it, and go smoke” 😭😭😭😭😭
Jokes aside, this is a million-dollar idea.
Jokes on you. This would actually work for me.
Melissa Villasenor is criminally underused at SNL.
I lost it at the fish eye ass camera. It’s just too good🤣🤣
I am a professional musician because a friend of mine once told me: "I thought you said you were good at guitar." This is totally made for me.
Bowen’s halfhearted ‘that was good,’ could cause tears of relief in almost anyone.
When someone tells me: “You can do this!” I won’t, just to prove a point. That speaks to me on a personal level.
Literally had no clue other people felt this way. This is why I've never joined a gym. The insincere praise and comradre? Yeah no. Give me high school gym coach, post-divorced. Thx.
Seeing the two instructors having a barely audible conversation about how awful I am actually made me anxious, so thanks SNL.
The gaslight joke was my favorite, ”noo, I think you did 4, I mean,it's a computer”
"Also available in Mom." I felt that.
Watching this made me realize I was raised by passive aggressive parents, and that feelings on inadequacy have been my biggest motivators in life.
"I hate exercise, but I hate Sarah more!"
"People don't know what they want until you show it to them." -- Steve Jobs
The premium classes would be led by Asian parents
Negative reinforcement is the way to go!