Rwanda: Sexual Pleasure and Controversy - BBC World Service

Hello. Hello. Is this on the radio? Yes My problem is I finish early even though I still want sex. You’re just the kind of person we want to hear from. Hello. Rwanda has become a world leader when it comes to promoting gender equality in politics, education, and, for some, even sexual pleasure. Ladies, if you haven’t already, stop right there and get into your bedroom. I'm a married woman with three children. I’m a sexologist and I live here in Rwanda. Hello Vestine. Hello I have a girlfriend an

d she can’t do kunyaza. Bring her to us! Kunyaza is an ancient and secretive sexual practice originating from this tiny country. It’s said to encourage female ejaculation and orgasms, and although it’s not openly discussed, it is well-known. The technique involves a man rhythmically and continuously striking the clitoris and labia with his erect penis. I don’t think people talk enough about female pleasure. In the past people were shy to talk about it, but today talk about it in public no proble

m. Do you know how to do kunyaza? Tell me how you do kunyaza so I know you’re not doing it the wrong way… So you’ve just done kunyaza already? Vestine presents a well-known radio show in Rwanda about relationships, marriage and sex. Female pleasure. It's very important because we all deserve to be happy. Kunyaza I believe anyone can can do that. Even white people as well. To a woman it's so enjoyable when the water is coming out. you feel like you're in heaven. You feel something that you never

felt before. In our culture marriage is all about that. It's all about in bed. Let’s read some text messages and we’ll be back after the break. Now we are travelling to the village, Nyakiname, to find out how the villagers make love, if they know how to prepare themselves, for making love if you know how to romance and all that. That's what we are going to do. Not all the Rwandan women are free to talk about sex. But there's this group of women. Most of them they lost their husbands after the ge

nocide 1994. Because they don't have their husbands they are open. So let’s talk about something - can every woman make water? Yes all women can make water if a man does it right. If I have sex with a man and he doesn’t make me squirt, I would throw him under the bed. But whilst kunyaza is associated with pleasing women, it is often practiced alongside gukuna, which is the controversial act of stretching a woman’s labia. Kunyaza and Gukuna can be practiced separately, but are both linked to sexu

al pleasure. In Rwanda, many girls are encouraged by their elders to start pulling their labia as they begin puberty, sometimes as young as 10 years old. To have gukuna is extra pleasure for a man. But to be honest, when a man is touching them you feel so much pleasure, I swear. Why do women do gukuna? It’s and old Rwandan culture. How do you know that you’ve finished pulling your labia? Can't you tell by their growth and from their size? People tell me that you measure them on the middle finger

. Historically, before people wore underwear, labia elongation was practiced in Rwanda because it was believed to prevent infection and increase modesty by concealing the vagina. Today women are told that elongating their labia will prepare them for marriage, increasing their partner’s sexual pleasure, as well as their own. Kigali-based gynaecologist Dr Magnifique disagrees... I feel a bit nervous discussing about these things. But yeah, my mother comes from a very conservative cultural backgrou

nd. And the good thing is that she doesn't understand English. If she hears me talking about, it would be like my son is gone. Saying that labia elongation increases pleasure from the scientific point, I feel like pleasure would come more from a hormonal change. There are no scientific proven benefits for labia elongation. And the other thing is the reversibility - let’s say you’ve done it when you're 10 and you get to be twenty and you’re like I no longer need this. If you want to reverse it, y

ou have to go through a surgical procedure. Juliette Karitanyi is an activist, and she’s worried about the impact gukuna has on young girls. So among my generation, and my boyfriend doesn't believe in gukuna because they feel like it's an old practice. For children, we shouldn't even discuss about it. The reason why in our culture, they were doing it at that early age it's because our grandmothers used to get married at 12/14. But now 14 years old need to be in school. For me, it's violation of

their innocence. We are in another generation. Juliette lives in Kigali, and is part of a feminist group who discuss everything from gender based violence and rape to labia elongation and sexual pleasure. Of course, you know, you meet some men who are who who are very blunt about it. So if you're going to tell me some stuff about pulling or doing whatever, I'm going to ask you some questions that will make you uncomfortable. Right. Like, how well-endowed are you? But in our society, a woman who

elongated her labia they consider you - now you’re a full woman, you are wife material. I don't really agree with people said on culture saying, oh, this is our culture. Yes, our culture is a huge thing. Actually. But if something is harmful, if something created inequality if something hurt someone, I don't see why we cling to it for the sake of culture. But while some Rwandans are rejecting what they see as harmful traditions, for others, it’s not always easy to let go of cultural practices th

at have existed for hundreds of years. Vestine’s daughter, Princess, is getting ready for her bridal shower. It’s a day that first happens before you get married where your aunties, your grandma, your mum, your friends and sisters, give you advice and give a gift to use when you are already married. I’m a girl right now but the day is coming where I’ll be a woman. Before I started on radio, they were shy to talk about sex, even though if the woman did not enjoy sex, she could not be open and tel

l her husband. Say, sweetheart, what you are doing, I didn't enjoy it. She was so shy because our culture teaches that a woman is supposed to be quiet and respect your husband. That's what I hate. That's why I keep teaching people. A marriage is for two people. Pleasure. I also have to enjoy it. This my life. This my body. As someone who appears to be an empowered business woman, passionate about female sexual pleasure, does Vestine agree that practices like labia elongation can be harmful to gi

rls and women? My mission. I want all the married couples to be happy. But It's a part of our culture. When you get married, you have to do something, to please your men. I don't want our culture to oppress us. But some culture you have to follow. What else can you do?