exciting news everyone I put my cat on a shirt she has no idea she's on a shirt get yours today at Drew goodshop.com hey guys welcome back to watch Mojo's top 10 days of the week number four Thursday I love horror movies I think it's such a fun genre the experience you have while watching one is so much different than just about any other type of movie it's funny to look back on all the stress I felt over the years while watching horror movies because objectively speaking I wasn't in a stressful
situation I was just sitting on my couch scared because of something on the TV okay turn it off close your eyes dude there's no danger here idiot some of my all-time favorite movies are horror movies but also some of my all-time least favorite let me tell you about the 2021 Netflix original there's someone inside your house there are a lot of things that I hate about this film but perhaps nothing more so than the title being a complete lie no there's not someone inside inside your house this mo
vie barely takes place inside of one you can't just come up with a cool title for a movie and then write a script that has nothing to do with it I mean apparently you can because that's what they did but I don't think you should be allowed to do that I think they should be in jail the opening scene was actually pretty good and from what I can tell what they named the entire movie after it opens on a static shot of what seems to be the only house for Miles truck pulls into frame guy starts an egg
timer takes a little nap and when he wakes up his phone is gone and it's been replaced by the timer who put that there who goes downstairs where he sees that the front door is wide open oh [ __ ] his car is gone don't like that if I didn't know any better I'd say there's someone inside his house anyway he dies pretty hard and then they play the opening credits at this point though I'm invested like this was a creepy and well-directed opening that set the stage for what should have been a much b
etter movie The synopsis is that there's a Secret Killer who's also sort of a secret killer in in that he kills people who have secrets the first guy's secret is that he violently assaulted someone else on the football team almost beat the guy to death the second person who gets killed is the popular girl who tries very hard to seem open-minded in public but has a secret white supremacist podcast got it so we're killing people who are doing something harmful to others in private that's the theme
here until the third murder which isn't that at all one of the only likable characters thus far gets murdered because he has a pill addiction okay send him to rehab then addiction doesn't inherently make you a bad person especially if you're not hurting other people while you do it why is he getting murdered over his own personal struggle also this happens at a party where everyone else is underage drinking and smoking is that not held to the same standard kind of seems like everybody's intoxic
ated here but unfortunately the movie continues there's now a fourth victim whose secret is get this he he's gay so now I'm really confused about the politics of this murderer so you hate big Pharma you hate racism and you also hate gay people which side are you on man also the guy he stabs in this scene was the one who got his ass kicked by the first guy so you kill one person for doing a hate crime and then you commit a worse hate crime who the [ __ ] wrote this movie it's around this point wh
ere we learned that the main character Manan also has a secret past of her own she was involved in some kind of hazing incident where she drunkenly pushed another student into a bonfire that almost killed her so now we uh would be worried about her if this movie gave us any reason to give a [ __ ] but I certainly don't care she miraculously survives tells her friends about her secret and now there's time for one last confrontation and if I wasn't mad at this movie already this scene would be the
thing to put me over the edge so they go to a cornfield maze that's on fire and drive a car through the fire which I don't think is something you can do but this movie is making me doubt any scientific knowledge I've ever had so who's to say what really made me mad though is how stupid this movie thinks we are by forgoing any chance they had it settled we know that the main character has trauma associated with big fires that's the thing we just learned so if you're going for symbolism here just
show her face and show the fire and will piece together that oh my God you're doing a flashback you're doing a flashback to the scene you just showed 6 minutes ago is this movie made for toddlers I would hope not because there's a bunch of murders in it anyway turns out it was the angry rich kid this whole time who could have seen that coming I mean he's probably the only character who could afford to keep 3D printing photorealistic masks of all the victim's faces but I guess we weren't suppose
d to think about that until now watching this movie for the second time now definitely ruin my day but I'm not going to let it ruin my month surely there's worse movies out there that could do that so I had to do a local record store that turned out to have a fantastic selection of horror DVDs and also The 40-Year-Old Virgin which sounded a little too scary for me this was the exact mix of classic horror films and straight to DVD garbage that I was looking for I found some absolute gems here and
I could not wait to take them home and force my wife to watch them with me first up we've got the 1999 Thriller bats I love that this movie wastes no time getting to the bats we open on some couple arguing in their car and they get like two lines out before being absolutely ripped to shreds you just listen to what I'm saying I heard what you said Quint but Donna told me everything you're saying and everything then we cut to a cave in Arizona guess what more bats I could honestly cry I've never
seen a movie so faithful to its title we're introduced to two of the main characters in this movie Dr Sheila Casper who likes to go inside caves and look at bat and Jimmy who just sort of talks to her on the radio from outside the cave hey Jimmy if you hate bats in caves so much what the hell are you doing with me anyway oh no Jimmy doesn't like bats something tells me this is going to be a really rough day for him unfortunately whatever their mission here is gets cut short when a helicopter lan
ds and a guy named Toby comes out and tells him he needs their help I'm Dr Toby hod we need your help immediately I have to say this is the perfect name for someone with that haircut if you go to your Barber and ask them for the Toby you're going to walk out of there looking like this there's a biological emergency what kind of biological emergency say it f yes Dr Casper fast let's [ __ ] go dude this movie is about one thing and only one thing so ma'am you're a doctor now of what exactly bad sh
eriff I work with bats bats yeah I'm starting to think this movie might have some bats in it uh-huh uh-huh uhhuh so Sheila the bat doctor gets called in to examine the very dead body of the guy killed in the opening scene where she notices a a Fang this is impossible these these bats only feed on fruit and nectar this must be some kind of sick hoax unfortunately we're fairly certain that this is not a hoax yeah there's a mangled corpse in front of you it'd be kind of weird if we just brought thi
s in as a joke bats do not kill people there must be some other explanation one that has absolutely nothing to do with bats wait a second are you saying some kind of bat did this I love how many of the scenes early on are just someone being like I think a bat did this and someone else being like bats we think this was done by some sort of bats b uh favorite character in this movie by far is Jimmy who as we discussed doesn't like bats and yet chose a career path entirely devoted to them he's also
written to be so dumb we need to know what we're dealing with here doctor I'm kind of curious myself now that you mention it yeah now that you mention it I would kind of like to know what's going on with all these murderous bats I wasn't interested until this moment although everyone's kind of an idiot in this movie so it's just part for the course so you're saying that the bats can only infect other bats now that's [ __ ] I'll give them a little bit of credit there are some scenes that are act
ually pretty scary I mean in general the idea of you know being chased by a giant swarm of flying animals trying to kill you is not the worst concept for a horror movie it just gets a little silly when they start doing some of the close-ups of the bat puppets what I tell you ugly this one they just threw into a cage and shook it around apparently the bats aren't just hungry for human blood they're also smart too manag to put a tracking device on one of them and then two other bats fly in and kil
l it in a scene that ends with everyone half-heartedly jogging and cut perfect guys love the lack of urgency somehow in between their many close encounters with death Sheila and the sheriff EMT find time to awkwardly flirt with each other got to be gentle affirm think I can handle that I'm sure you can emit yeah like with so the bat starts spreading and things are clearly getting out of hand I love the scene where this kid somehow doesn't notice the guy next to him screaming in agony because he'
s playing a video game Society am I right and I got to say the directorial choice to have this shot where the cameraman Sprints across the room towards the attack followed by 75 Quick Cuts absolutely hilarious this is what film making is all about oh no now they're attacking the whole town or actually just flying above it I guess they attack a couple people but for the most part they're just out there making noise one of them flew directly into a neon sign that was pretty dumb thank God Sheila w
as here to save this kid who seemed to be in absolutely no danger there's actually multiple people in this scene who are standing perfectly still that Sheila saves just by telling them to move that's the kind of intelligence only a bat doctor can have I like when this cop tries to deescalate the situation by verbally threatening one of them and that doesn't go too well take it easy B no bat with a t tried to tell you I also like when all the cars just start exploding what do the bats have grenad
es now sad news everyone Toby died I guess he was the only reason the bats were in this town in the first place because they immediately flew away after killing him a great now we have to clean up the town the bats left newspapers everywhere don't worry though they've come up with a rock salad plan to save the day they're going to freeze the bats with a giant refrigerator when the temperature drops below 40° bats begin to hibernate all we need are cooling units powerful enough to freeze the roos
t uhhuh all right we're going to need some special gear to go in what we're going into the roofs damn it my job of studying bats is yet again at odds with my fear of them this is over I'm going to lay on the beach for like 3 years some place they never heard of a bat or you could just pick a different job is this what you call normal I wouldn't call much of anything I've seen the last few days normal yeah I bet she's talking about all the bats anyway they turn on the giant refrigerator and manag
e to outrun all the baths through a cave and up a ladder and down a corridor and up An Elevator Shaft and out the entrance all with about a 50ft head start jeez maybe instead of becoming bat scientists they should have competed in the Olympics because holy [ __ ] the best part of this Chase though is when EMT stops running and turns around to shoot a gun at 7,000 bat I can't believe that didn't work and now we can sit back and enjoy this 9 minute long explosion knowing full well that all the bat
s are dead and the world is safe oh [Music] no that's the best ending I've ever seen actually that is kind of funny I was so convinced they were going to do that thing that bad movies do where they hint at a sequel at the end just in case but no they knew I think they knew bats would be one and done as great as that movie was I'm just glad I can finally watch the behindth scenes featurette and learn how Bob gunton feels about bats they're so ugly they're nasty looking no he doesn't like them I t
hink the four out of 10 this movie has an IMDb is just about spoton but the thing about a 4 out of 10 movie is that it can still get worse so our journey continues up next we've got dream home and somehow this is actually a pretty substantial step down from bats I want you to take a second to really admire the graphic design on this cover you've got this ancient looking Victorian house a ghostly silhouette peering down from the Second Story window a child looking up in fear the words murder and
kill scratched onto the blank part of the DVD cover none of this is in the movie nothing at all look at this house and then look at the house they actually use not even close right away I'm getting the vibe that the main goal of this production was to pad the runtime just enough that this can legally be called a movie during the opening credits one of the shots they use is of a ghost slowly moving across a gazebo and it goes on for 39 seconds every scene in this movie ends with a Fade to Black t
hat lasts way too long I want that house is it over but none of the transitions can hold a candle to this one listen closely now go call him right now while it's still fresh on your mind I will cut they forgot to edit that out so the editing is fantastic the directing is topnotch but it's the writing that really sets this movie apart look what look at that what look at the house what wow so much is being conveyed in that scene she wants the house but he can't even see the house because he's driv
ing it's heartbreaking leave me alone they do such a good job of subtly hinting at her interest in the house that house is beautiful and I love it I want that house I fell in love with the house I want it I know you really want this house baby I want that house you really want this house don't you baby I need this house when they meet up with the realtor who wants to sell them the house at first I was really confused why the director let him stand in a spot with such horrible lighting but then I
realized it must have been a creative choice I think it represents that beneath his Sunny appearance there's something dark lurking in the shadows who is this man and why are they still so hellbent on buying the house even after hearing how shady is being heard a couple of mixed stories about this place you said mixed stories what are some of the others you heard just a couple of guys joking at the water cooler um like what nothing that should concern you oh okay well then I won't worry about i
t you want to go ahead and buy the house yeah that's a good idea look at this place this place has got to be at least 80 years old this place is incredible Darren wow look at how dusty and decrepit everything is it's perfect this is where the first and possibly only scary moment of the movie happens seems like no one ever lived here for the past 50 or 60 years 75 years the [ __ ] man why the hell did you come from I'm sorry I didn't mean to start on I don't know man it kind of seems like you did
I live around here I saw you two looking at the house and thought I would come over and say hello and you're sure you're not trying to be creep this is no ordinary house in many ways it's like any other old house but it's special they don't build them like this anymore this goes on for so long this house can feel you this house knows what you're doing at all times is he blinked at all this house can see are you trying to tell me that this house is alive you should be okay but just [Music] remem
ber this house is unlike anything you've ever encountered [Music] before okay thanks buddy just remember you will die in this house all right appreciate it bro gee I wonder if that insane encounter with the neighbor changed their opinion at all about the house I want this house not even a little bit man look at all the changes we've made oh I'd love to but I can't the camera's pointing the wrong way well Against All Odds it seems like everything turned out okay for them until Fay finds an old ne
cklace under the bed and we hard cut to the most disorienting [Music] montage [Applause] I don't know what the [ __ ] is happening here weirdly this actually almost works as a creative choice just because of how surreal and unsettling it is now I thought that Fay saw all this as she picked it up but I would assume that's not the case because if she did I don't know why the hell she would then put it on General word of advice to anyone in a horror movie if you find an old piece of jewelry with a
mysterious past don't wear it it never ends well you're going to take on some sort of curse while this is happening Darren heads down to the hardware store to pick up some paint and he gets to witness one of the greatest line deliveries I've ever heard when I first moved into town my parents used to see a lot of those kids going in and out of that house and they warned me not to go there I don't think we ever see anybody live in there again considering what happened wow that's got to be pretty s
cary to hear two strangers talking about how haunted your house is let's capitalize on this momentum by showing a silent Credit Card Exchange in full without any Cuts got the perfect later on they invite their friend April over for dinner and I'm just trying to figure out where the hell all this food came from because that is not what they were cooking it kind of looks like the crew didn't have any actual food to prepare in this scene so they just had her boil a little pot of water and a big pot
of water which she stirs and stirs until it turns into this giant meal movies are awesome after dinner April politely asks for a tour uh I'm ready for my tour now and Fay shows them the only room they already saw earlier this is it I can't believe it you can tell she didn't show them any other part of the house because April has to ask her where the bathroom is it's in that bathroom where the weird neighbor from before makes his triumphant return happy birthday happy birthday the next day Fay r
uns into him in the woods where she seems completely unfaced by him being the creepiest person alive you'd be surprised what you can find just lying around out here hey I remember you you were here that day we bought the house that's right how is it treating you pretty good that's good that's real good it does me good to see two young people doing good I love how much of the writing in this movie is either that's good or that's bad you just don't know how bad that makes me feel I really don't ha
ve a good feeling about it it's just that I get this bad Vibe when I see it it's like the thing is tied to something really bad I just get this bad feeling about that crop also everyone keeps describing the house as beautiful it's beautiful this place is so beautiful the movements of this beautiful old Victorian home M that's a beautiful home even as old as it is it's still a beautiful home and I've always thought it had been that's a beautiful house they can't get enough of this beautiful home
even though something happened there but no one will outright say what happened there they just keep beating around the bush it's kind of frustrating if you don't know what I'm talking about you'll find out soon enough I watch this scene three times and I still have no idea what the [ __ ] she's talking about you're in the house the event is still going on whether you know it or not and for some reason you're becoming a part of that event what you see you've done something to connect yourself wi
th whatever took place I guess you or your husband have done something to connect yourself what is happening even if something happened there if anything happened at all how could it be the cause of something that's happening now I don't understand do you of course she doesn't no one does she just keeps going I don't even know if this was scripted or if they they just had her ramble something vaguely creepy if it's connected to anyone involved in the event you wearing it will provide a Gateway f
or what ever happened then to happen now not only will the event continue to go on in the past but now you and your husband will be a part of that occurrence okay how do we get out of it in order to get out of something you first have to know exactly what you're in and since you clearly don't and I refuse to explain it I guess you're just [ __ ] and then this same mystery woman finds Darren as he's leaving work and she creeps him out too can you give your wife a message for me excuse me tell her
to be weary of her dreams tell her that sometimes our dreams aren't what they seem to be sometimes it's our mind's way of our mind can you slow down or things that have happened in the past or things that are going to I'm not even going to try the most accurate thing about this entire movie is that he actually does have trouble remembering her her long and convoluted message she said like she said okay she said your dreams or something like oh okay she said that I don't want to hear it Daren bu
t finally after explaining nothing the entire movie with 3 minutes left we finally learn what happened to the house and I can't even pay attention to it because I'm so distracted by how they chose to film it when I'm about to woke up she went to Juliana's room it say you can still see the father walking around the house sometimes as he walked Clos to Juliana's bed one of towns people found out about this insane man nothing they say you can still see the mother and the mom was evil too and the da
d was evil too F wake up Faith I'm sorry a she's dead oh never mind she was just sleeping she don't understand it's not him it wasn't [Music] him I'm going to be honest I still don't know what happened in this movie the best thing about Dream Home besides how good it is is getting to read the reviews from like 15 years ago from all the people who are so angry that they paid money to rent this from Blockbuster this was the absolute worst movie I have ever seen I cannot even begin to explain the w
ay I felt when this was over I was ripped off the front of the box look really interesting the kid on the bike oh yeah why would he have anything to do with this movie duh there's not even one child in this movie if there were a way to recall movies this film should be put in a fire take my advice don't R this movie buy this movie or even watch it on cable I'm sure you can find better things to do for an hour and a half like ripping your toenails off one by one damn seems like everybody hated th
is movie but two out of 10 it can still get worse and that's where the curse of the zodiac comes in this may just be it I think this is the worst horror movie ever made now this movie came out in 2007 the same year as the David fenter Zodiac movie so I'm pretty sure this only exists to confuse the then patrons of video rental stores honey this is that new Jake Gyllenhaal movie right n probably it's not like we can Google it we only have internet at home but even still this has no business being
as terrible as it is this is barely even a movie it's directed almost like a music video but one that's 80 minutes long and has no songs in it so much of it is just these constant flashing cuts and every shot is so overly stylized that I don't even know what I'm looking at half the time they made some truly baffling editing choices like what is even the point of doing something like this ready where the hell have you been I've been looking for you all night if I had to guess I would say that all
of this was a conscious effort to distract us from the fact that this movie has no script oh and by the way uh speaking of the couch you can have a couch yeah a stupid pink couch in an orange colored room does not work anymore I refuse to believe that the actors are not improvising every line on the spot crazy ain't cool and you know normally I'd have fun you know hanging out with someone and dating someone that's a little crazy but this is getting ridiculous they're constantly talking over eac
h other or trailing off he's trying to I don't know he he's trying to make us think I guess as far as the plot goes it is Loosely based on the world famous Zodiac Killer but it's sort of like the movie someone would make about the Zodiac Killer if they knew nothing about the Zodiac Killer okay he's leaving some Clues behind and there's some symbols involved but also he shows up in this girl's dreams and keeps calling this detective and saying the same four lines over and over again in my book 2
+ 2 is three maybe you want to meet in the middle fat [ __ ] make it a four fat [ __ ] your black eyes pretty girl your black hair pretty girl half the movie is just him yapping about nothing the Sandman aa zman aa zodiac my name is zodiac z o although I do like the way he says San Francisco I'm sticking around in San Francisco I would say my least favorite character is the world's most useless detective he makes zero progress from start to finish and is just confused the entire time I'm confuse
d they could not have come up with a less interesting character on the flip side my favorite character is definitely this piano playing murder victim who made such a bizarre choice on how he would talk to enjoy the piano yeah me too you can see him trying not to laugh here whoops I made a mistake when I was playing honestly I really don't want to spend that much more time thinking about this movie it made me feel gross the entire time it actually made me miss the production value of dream home a
movie that had the boom mic in frame most of the time so this movie was written and directed by ulie laml whose name I'm probably mispronouncing but let me tell you about this Legend This Man acted in over 90 movies he wrote and directed over 60 and look at this unprecedented run he went on from 2003 to 2012 the sheer con consistency with which he was putting out ones and twos you may never see something like this again I don't know if we'll ever see anyone match this kind of Legacy this is abo
ut as badass as it gets to be so confident in who you are that you can say yeah maybe I don't have a story wortht telling here but I'm not going to let that stop me from making a hundred movies maybe next year I'll do a deep dive on his entire filmography but for now I need a break this was rough well I hope you all enjoyed watching me suffer through this as much as I I hated every minute of it but if you can believe it even after watching all of that you're only now getting to the scariest part
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so for giving me food thank you again for watching me watch four terrible horror movies means a lot to me that youd make it this far into the video either you really like hearing me talk or I'm so boring that you fell asleep 20 minutes ago either way still counts as a view but un fortunately YouTube did just add a rule that if you make it all the way to the end of a video that's posted on or before Halloween you have to give the person who posted it all of your Halloween candy so guess I got to
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