Vir Das hilariously summarizes the plots of iconic Bollywood films.
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If you're gonna watch our movies, young and old, the first
movie you must begin with is a movie by the name
of Amar Akbar Anthony. Non-Indians, let me take
you through the plot of this badass Bollywood movie. (audience laughs) The year was 1977. Three baby brothers
were separated at birth because in the 70s, that's
just shit that happened every day. (audience laughs) You could not find one
responsible maternity hospital in all of India. We just treated babies like IKEA products; we unpacked them
and threw
away the paperwork immediately. (audience laughs) Now, these three brothers. One grew up to be a Muslim,
one grew up to be a Christian, one grew up to be a Hindu. Muslim fell in love with a Muslim, Christian fell in love with a Christian, Hindu fell in love with a Hindu. Because even in fiction, we
shall not dilute the race. (audience laughs and applauds) It has the greatest cinematic
miracle I have ever seen. So check it out: the mom is blind. (audience laughs) Now at some point, thi
s lady
goes to a Saibaba temple. Saibaba is like a chain-smoking guru. She prays to his statue. We're gonna pretend
like I didn't say that. Fuckin' stay with me. She prays to his statue. Saibaba's statue's eyes light up with fire which floats into the mom's eyes and that chick can see again! (audience laughs and applauds) Why are we wasting our time with Hinduism, Christianity, and Islam? Saibaba is doing Lasik
surgery on a daily basis. (audience applauds) What a movie, man. Three brothers who l
ook
nothing like each other at all. Nobody ever spoke about this. Not one brother was like, "Hey, mom. (audience laughs) "How popular were you in college, mom? (audience laughs) "I mean, I know you're blind "but could you not recognize Dad's... (audience laughs) "Like, could you give him
a password or something?" He comes into the room like, "Marco!" You're like "Colo!" I don't know, a system! A system! (audience claps) My career is over; it's fine. (audience laughs) The next movie you must watc
h
is a movie by the name of Dil Chahta Hai. (audience cheers) This is our first realistic
coming-of-age story. Three boys. One gets a job in Australia. One falls in love with an older woman. One exists. (audience laughs) The reason I like this movie is it redefined the wedding
interruption scene forever. See, in Bollywood, we interrupt weddings because who cares about what
the girl actually wants? (audience laughs) White people have a clause for this in their weddings, right? At some point, the
priest goes, "If any man here should
object to this union, "let him speak now or..." Audience] Forever hold your peace. Forever hold his peace. Now in India, we can't work with a clause because that requires punctuality. (audience laughs) So we interrupt a wedding
whenever the fuck we feel like it with the greatest line
in cinematic history: Yeh shaadi [Audience] Nahi ho sakti. Nahi ho sakti. Translation: this wedding cannot happen. (audience laughs) Look at the arrogance! Not this wedding shoul
d not happen. Not this wedding might not happen. This wedding cannot happen. (audience laughs) And nobody ever counters
that shit with logic, right? Nobody's every like, "Bro, look around. There is a tent and a bride and a groom and a pundit and a fire
and vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce and a pasta station. It's happening, bro." (audience laughs and applauds) "These things do not
randomly come together on a Tuesday for no reason." (audience laughs) That's the reason I love this movie; it
simplified it so much. The boy, Aamir, shows up at
the girl Preity's wedding. Aamir is like, "Hi." And Preity's like, "Hi." (audience laughs) And then her fiance,
Ayub, shows up, right? And Aamir is like, "Mm-mm." And he stops. (audience laughs) And then they leave. And the movie's over. Who the fuck are you-- Iron Man? What happened? (audience laughs) It was so efficient! Just vote for Congress, bang the girl. That's it. (audience laughs) (upbeat music)
Comments
βWho shall not dilute the raceβ followed by a Nazi salute. LOL
Heβs 42 . Unbelievable
Not having seen any Bollywood films, I still found this hilarious xD
But "go goa gone" deserves an oscar
I love how he acknowledges non-Indians ALL THE TIME. Explains it to us and includes us. Like I LOVE India so much. I'm a Filipino but I might as well be an adopted Indian. I feel included haha. Thank you β€οΈ
When Vir talked about Ye shaadi nahi ho sakti, i remembered that scene from Delhi Belly where he interrupts Wedding and says "Is ladki ne mera choosa hai"
I hope he doesn't go to jail for that sai baba comments.....but it's hilarious af
"Hey, mom....... how popular were you in college, mom?" Damn i died here
Okay all the woke people here complaining about the Sai Baba joke, i am a Sai Baba bhakt and i took no offence. Because i can differentiate humour from insults. My relationship with my god won't change just because someone made a 'joke' on it. Nor will that someone change his joke just coz you lot got offended. If you can't handle it just move on man, don't watch what offends you π
Vir Das is so legendary that he can integrate foreigners into his set while being Indian (and talking of indian things)
He just destroyes every religion....... I luv him Wohaaaa I am famous π
You had me at 'Amar, Akbar, Anthony' ππ
Amar Akbar Anthony (1977) was one of the films that introduced me to Bollywood. My friends and I dissected the storyline (the way aficionados lovingly dissected the Star Wars franchise) and came up with so many interpretations. Then along comes Vir Das, and with a masterful stroke, dismantled our artsy pretensions with his genius. Well played, sir!
He comes in like Marco n you were like kholo.ππ
Channel name: Netflix is a joke Description: watch videos das on Netflix ππ
"How popular were you in college" ππππππ.. what a Hilarious Rhythm he's got. So natural.β€οΈ
0:41 That Nazi salute went so well with his joke ππ
"3 boys... One gets a job in Australia One falls in love with an older woman One Exists."
βMarco!β βCholo!β Omg Iβm dying
See now no one have problem with the 'sai baba' joke, But I am sure after some someone will post that part in Twitter and then starts another controversy πππ