The year was 35 B.C.E., and with the defeat
of Sextus Pompeius, Octavian was finally unrivaled as the first man in Rome.
As a reward for saving Rome from the son of Pompey, the Roman Senate bestowed a
lifetime honour upon Octavian by declaring his body sacrosanct under Roman law and Roman
religion as if he were a Tribune of the Plebs. This meant that physically harming Octavian in
any way was a religious violation and a death penalty offense. Realheads will remember that
Octavian’s adopti
ve father Julius Caesar had received the same honour, and well, in that case
it didn’t really work out, but it was supposed to be a vote of confidence from the Senate.
Octavian did not spend much time savoring his victory over Sextus. The province
of Illyricum was on fire, and the situation was getting so bad that it now
required Octavian’s personal attention. Caesar should have intervened in Illyricum
20 years ago - it had been his province back in the day - but he completely neglected th
e
administration of the province in favour of his 10 year crusade against the Gauls. He had always
intended to deal with Illyricum after Gaul, but then the Civil War happened, and then he had to go
to Egypt, and then North Africa, and then Spain, and then he was killed. Illyricum was always next
on the list, but Caesar never got around to it. Under 20 years of neglect,
a lot had happened. By this time, the northern border was basically
nonexistent, just a line on the map. Invaders came and
went as they pleased. The locals
had more in common with the invaders than they did with the Romans, and so they routinely
rose up in rebellion alongside the invasions. Apart from a handful of isolated Roman
garrisons, Rome really lost the ability to impose their will upon the province.
And again, this was all Caesar’s fault. Things had deteriorated on his watch, and not only
did he not do anything to help, but during their time of need, he actually pulled legions
from Illyricum for the G
allic Campaigns. So in 35 B.C.E., Octavian finally got around
to addressing these problems. Just like with the campaign against the Boat King Sextus
Pompeius, his friend Agrippa was at his side, and just like with the campaign
against the Boat King Sextus Pompeius, his friend Agrippa would do most of the work.
Agrippa’s Illyricum campaign began with a three pronged offensive. An army that had gathered
along Illyricum’s Italian border would be split, one half under Octavian would strike
nort
heast into the mountainous interior, and the other half under Agrippa would attack
southeast along the coast. Simultaneously, the Roman fleet would support Agrippa’s advance by
systematically attacking naval ports up and down the coast, which with the recent instability
had mostly become the home to pirates. It is my belief that Agrippa assigned
for himself the most important job. If Octavian faced setbacks in the north, that
was fine, he could slow down, pull back, or wait for reinforcemen
ts. But the coast had
to be made secure so that supplies could get in. Future success depended upon projecting
power inland from the coast. If anything, Octavian’s northern invasion was mostly a
distraction to buy Agrippa some time. Agrippa’s plan for the Illyricum campaign is what
we would call today a combined land-sea assault, and what’s special about it is that the Romans
ordinarily did not think like this. Think about Antony’s campaign against Parthia. His plan
was to march into Parth
ia and win a battle. Literally a one dimensional strategy.
Agrippa was different. His plan called for 3 separate but simultaneous operations across
both land and sea, with each operation being broken up into smaller component parts
that all supported each other. This is a good representation of how Agrippa
thought. He conceived of military campaigns as being living systems that were constantly
changing due to outside stimuli. These systems were too big and too complex to be controlled
or
even understood by one person. Under Agrippa, each part of a campaign independently had its
own limited objectives that were designed to complement the rest of the system. Limited
success in one area was never truly limited, because the benefits would ripple
throughout the rest of the campaign. This was not how men of Agrippa’s generation
thought. Agrippa had a modern military mind. Octavian operated in the north, and
immediately faced some setbacks. It’s possible that Octavian’s initial ob
jective
was to make it as far as the river Danube, but the fighting was so tough that he
never made it further than the river Sava. The good news was that due to Agrippa’s
careful planning, none of these setbacks were catastrophic. Once Agrippa secured the coast,
he quickly marched north to Octavian’s aid. The problem that both Octavian and Agrippa he ran
into was that once you get a little bit inland, Illyricum turns into a maze of mountains
and hills and valleys. The Romans had never bot
hered to properly map this area. It was not
uncommon for the Romans to march into a valley, only to find every known mountain pass held
by the enemy. Of course there were hidden mountain passes, but the Romans didn’t know where
these were, only the enemy did. Meaning that the Romans couldn’t keep their supply lines open,
but the enemy could. Each time this happened, Octavian or Agrippa were forced into a costly
engagement in order to fight their way free. Agrippa’s innovation was that he st
arted
to send large scouting parties to the left and right of the army as it advanced. The
scouts would leapfrog over each other and hold open mountain passes so that the Romans
could always retreat if necessary. This almost mathematical caution forced the
pace of the campaign to slow to a crawl. What was supposed to be a one year campaign dragged
into its second year, and then its third. Many of the details of the Illyrican campaign
are lost, perhaps deliberately by people who didn’t want
us to know how bad it really
got, but two incidents really stand out. The first was during an assault on a city. We’re
told that during the final assault, the bridge that Octavian was standing on collapsed. He ended
up in a heap of rubble just outside the enemy wall, and had to be rescued by his soldiers.
One leg and both arms were badly injured. The second happened a year later, when a
stone slung by a sling hit Octavian directly in the knee, rendering him unable to walk for a
time. It w
as so bad that he could not be moved, not even in a wagon. The entire army just had
to sit there and wait for him to recover. These wounds probably stayed with
Octavian for the rest of his life, and they provide clues as to what is missing
from the official story. In both accounts, Octavian is painted in a sympathetic light,
but it’s noteworthy that the only good things they had to say about him is that he had
two near death experiences. It hints at a troubled campaign. Perhaps the whole da
mn
thing was a near death experience. The campaign was only supposed to
last for one year, but it dragged on for three. It involved way more bloodshed
than anybody was expecting, and in the end it involved negotiating more than 30 separate
peaces with more than 30 separate groups, each of whom had unique grievances and unique
demands that Octavian had to accommodate. In 33 B.C.E, Octavian and Agrippa declared
victory and returned to Rome. The Senate awarded Octavian with a Triumph for the
campaign in Illyricum, but for political reasons he decided to defer it to a later date.
Another hint that it was a troubled campaign. Per a pre-arranged deal with
Antony, that year Octavian was also elected consul for the second time.
He resigned after one day, which may seem like an unusual decision, but it was the beginning of a
trend that was slowly poisoning Roman politics. Octavian was what’s known as a Consul Ordinarius,
an Ordinary Consul, a consul who had been elected through the
normal process. Upon his
resignation, a special election was called in order to select a replacement consul known
as a Consul Suffectus, a Suffect Consul. Elections for Suffect Consuls were only
supposed to be called upon the untimely death of the Ordinary Consul, but now, just like
everything else, that power was being abused. Not only were the Ordinary Consuls resigning
early, but so were their replacements, and even the replacements of the replacements.
In a normal year, there were on
ly supposed to be two consuls. In the year 33, there were eight. And
this wasn’t just a one-off, this was a trend. There were two benefits to appointing extra
consuls. The first was that it was an easy way to reward political loyalists. The prestige
that came with being elected consul was immense, people who had served as consul were
treated differently for the rest of their lives. If a young upcoming politician
was closely related to a former consul, that fact alone was often enough to get
them elected to a lower office. The second benefit was that former consuls got
to speak first during debates in the Senate. If it was a lively debate, former consuls were
often the only people who got to speak which meant that the nature of the debate between
former consuls could determine votes. By having a bunch of loyalists elected,
Octavian was “stacking the bench” so to speak, making it so that his people could dominate
Senate debates and drown out any dissent. The trend of passing a
round consulships like they
were nothing would continue for hundreds of years. Make no mistake, the Roman political
system had been crumbling for a long time, but this finally broke it beyond repair.
The Consul would become a mostly toothless administrative role, and the real power
within the Roman political system would flow elsewhere.
With the conclusion of the war in Illyricum,
Octavian and Agrippa turned their focus to the situation in Rome.
By 33 B.C.E, the vibes in Rome were abysm
al. There had just been a recession, a famine,
and civil unrest. People were miserable. The two agreed that Agrippa should run
for Aedile for the year 33, the officer responsible for public works and festivals.
He ran on a platform of cleaning up the city, both literally and metaphorically, and
naturally, with Octavian’s backing, he won. The problem facing the city was that for at
least 30 years, Rome had been dominated by charismatic politicians who liked to run on big
flashy promises at
the expense of all the boring stuff. Now, Agrippa was going to inject some life
into the city by tackling the boring stuff. The first on the list was the construction of a
new aqueduct to bring additional water into the city, which he named the Aqua Julia in honour of
his boss. Remember, Octavian officially went by the name of his adoptive father, Julius Caesar.
The new aqueduct ran 22 kilometers up into the mountains.
What did he do with all this water? First, he flushed Rome’s sewer syste
m, which
was not functioning properly and leaking and making the whole city stink. Disgusting. Once it
was empty, he began some long needed structural repairs. He then had the whole thing scrubbed
clean, and put on a little publicity stunt where he took a row boat through the sewers
of Rome to prove how clean it now was. What else did he do with the water? He built 700
cisterns and 150 water towers to further improve water security, because, you know, even aqueducts
were susceptible to dro
ughts and whatnot. He also built 500 public fountains that were
unnecessarily beautiful, decorated in a unique way with bronze and marble, so that everybody
knew who was responsible for building them. When this project was done, virtually every
household in Rome was only a short walk away from clean drinking water, which is a benchmark
that most big industrial cities were still struggling to hit up into the 20th century.
Agrippa expanded upon this theme of “cleaning up the city” by beginni
ng construction of a massive
public bath complex, and announced that all public baths would be free to use on basically
every other day during his term as Aedile. He even introduced a thing where the
government would provide citizens with a free shave on public holidays.
His whole program was aimed at pulling Rome out of its funk and making the city
more beautiful, and we are told that he was remarkably successful. Agrippa’s term as Aedile
was considered the greatest in living memory, pos
sibly the greatest ever. In one year as
a lowly Aedile, he accomplished more than many of the consuls had over the preceding 30
years. And the people never forgot it. While all of this was going on, Octavian
was turning his eye to the east. He set about deliberately and publicly
worsening relations with Antony. He criticized Antony over the
Donations of Alexandria business, which was Antony’s plan for a re-structured Roman
east, claiming that Antony had gone a little too Egyptian living ov
er there with Cleopatra.
Octavian publicly teased Antony over his failed campaign against Parthia, which was a little
close to home. Antony publicly mused about Octavian’s betrayal of their “partner” Lepidus,
which was also a little close to home. Octavian then commissioned and distributed
a pamphlet that claimed to prove with 100% certainty that Caesarian, Caesar’s child by
Cleopatra, was not his true son. Antony responded by saying that he had seen Caesar acknowledge
the boy as his son wi
th his own eyes. Then things got personal. Octavian called
Antony a drunk. Antony called Octavian a gambling addict. Both accusations were true,
by the way. Octavian shot back that the only reason Antony didn’t like gambling was that
he was cursed with an unlucky spirit, which honestly is a hilarious way to insult somebody. It
was also a little more subtle than it might seem. One of the stories that Julius Caesar liked
to tell about himself was that he was almost supernaturally lucky. Octav
ian was saying
“I have my father’s luck, and you don’t.” Antony shot back making fun of Octaian
for marrying his wife Livia when she was pregnant with another man’s child. Okay
that one’s just straight up mean. At this point, Antony wrote to Octavian
privately. In a miraculous turn of events, this letter was preserved in the Roman archives,
and later Roman historians were able to reference it and pass its contents along to us.
Disclaimer: I looked into it, and Antony’s letter is written u
sing the vulgar and low
class version of certain words, and so any faithful translation should also be vulgar and
low class. A lot of translations don’t do this, they use poetic or flowery language,
but those translations are misleading, and the reason that they are misleading is that
academics are a bunch of prudes. In the interest of accuracy I’m going to use a few naughty
words, and then in the interest of my own prudishness I’m going to bleep them.
This is Antony writing to Octavian.
“What’s come over you? Is it that I am ****ing
the Queen? But she isn’t my wife, is she? It isn’t as if it’s something new, is it? Or has
it actually been going on for nine years now? What about you then? Is Livia the only woman
you ****? Good luck to you if, when you read this letter, you haven’t also ****ed Tertulla
or Terentilla or Rufilla or Salvia Titsenia, or all of them. Does it really matter
where and in whom you stick your ****?” I don’t recall that part being
included in the movi
e. By the end of the year 33 B.C.E, the
well had been sufficiently poisoned. Octavian and Antony were no longer on speaking
terms. They were in uncharted waters now. In 32 B.C.E, as part of a pre-arranged agreement, the two new consuls were to be Antony’s
men. But this deal had been worked out in a much happier time. By 32, people
were after each other’s throats. One of the first things introduced by the new
consuls was legislation censuring Octavian for trying to provoke a war. A friendly
Tribune of the Plebs vetoed the bill, but the message was sent. Antony’s political
allies were coming for Octavian. At the next Senate meeting, Octavian showed up
flanked by veterans from the Illyricum campaign, who, observers noted, were doing a
poor job at concealing the daggers hidden in their clothing.
The assassination of Julius Caesar was still fresh in the minds of Rome’s
political elite, even after all these years. That evening, the two newly elected
consuls fled the city of Rome,
and joined Antony out east. Approximately
1/3rd of the Senate went with them. This was probably an unexpected setback for
Octavian. Many have guessed that he would not have made such an open threat if he had known
that he would split the Senate. Perhaps he was not as popular as he thought.
New elections were called to replace the consuls that had fled, and surprise
surprise, Octavian’s candidates won. The new consuls and the remaining Senators
then agreed to strip Antony of all of his for
mal powers, including his scheduled term
as consul that was to begin next year. Somewhere around this time, Antony
divorced Octavian’s sister Octavia. It’s unclear whether this was direct retaliation
against Octavian or simply something that was a long time coming, but either way the divorce came
as a shock to Octavia. Antony apparently ordered her and their two children removed from their home
with no warning. Octavia was pretty upset by this, and rightfully so. She moved in with her
brot
her, where she assumed responsibility for raising her two children from the marriage
with Antony, and also, somehow, two of Antony’s children from previous marriages.
Octavian was pleased by the divorce. It suited his purposes. He made it known to the
public that Antony had abandoned his wife and four of his children. In his eyes, the divorce
meant that his plan was working. It meant that relations with Antony were destabilizing. It
was time to take things to the next level. In the summer
of 32, Octavian got
a tip from one of Antony’s former allies that he might find the contents
of Antony’s will interesting. The man claimed to have served as witness the
last time Antony had it updated. Wealthy Romans kept their wills in the Temple to
Vesta in the center of Rome. Vesta was the goddess of the hearth, and the priestesses sworn to Vesta,
known as the Vestal Virgins, were entrusted with tending to the sacred fire in the center of Rome,
which could never be allowed to go out. Th
e Vestal Virgins were considered some of the
highest status and most trustworthy religious figures in Rome. Simply laying eyes on a Vestal
Virgins was considered good luck. Harming one meant instant death This reputation was enough for
wealthy Romans to entrust them with their wills, which were to be kept closely guarded, and only
opened upon that wealthy Roman’s death. When Octavian learned that there was
something interesting in Antony’s will, he marched into the Temple of Vesta and deman
ded
to see it. The Vestal Virgins were honourbound to protect the will, and so they refused. Octavian
responded by ordering his goons into the temple, who overpowered the Vestal Virgins,
and took Antony’s will by force. This was sacreligious in the extreme, and if the
Roman legal system was functioning properly at all, Octavian would have been put to death. Under
the Roman religion, the sacred fire was the heart of the city. The mystical essence of the city.
And now Octavian was in there r
oughing people up for political gain. The symbolism is so strong
that I don’t even know what to do with it. People were appropriately outraged,
but that outrage quickly evaporated when Octavian read Antony’s will
aloud at the next Senate meeting. According to Octavian, Antony left
instructions for his body to be taken to Alexandria after his death, so that he
could be buried alongside Cleopatra. This was considered a shocking revelation, a
betrayal of Antony’s ancestors and a symbolic reno
uncement of his Roman citizenship.
Antony also recognized Caesarian as the son of Julius Caesar, and recognized his
children by Cleopatra as his legitimate heirs. Antony had just thrown his own Roman children
out onto the street, and now he was disinheriting them in favour of a bunch of foreigners. This
was not only a betrayal, but it was strictly illegal to do under Roman law.
Octavian summarized the contents of the will by saying that Antony had basically
betrayed Rome. He framed Antony
as an other, as a foreigner, as an existential threat to
Rome. He also played up the idea that Cleopatra had ambitions to conquer Rome, and was using
Antony as a tool to realize these ambitions. We know that Cleopatra had no such ambitions, and
Octavian knew this too, but he said it anyway. Octavian could not go to the Roman people and
ask them to support another Civil War. There had been too much of that already, people
were exhausted. He had to frame Cleopatra as an existential threat tha
t endangered
the survival of the Roman state. Octavian’s little bit of propaganda,
with truth and lies all mixed together, was remarkably effective at
winning over public opinion. In time, the Senate got behind Octavian and
formally declared war. But they didn’t declare war on Antony, and they didn’t declare war on
Egypt. They declared war on Cleopatra, personally. The irony of course was that they would
have to go through Antony and his Roman legions to get to her.
If you count Caesar,
and then Caesar’s assassins, and
then the thing with the Boat King, this was the fourth major civil war in only 17
years. Many in the legions could not remember a time when Rome was not at war with itself. And
what did they have to show for it? The average standard of living was lower than it had been 17
years ago. Roman politics were a shadow of what they had once been. The capital city of the most
powerful Empire in the Mediterranean could not reliably keep its citizens fed or housed.
T
o the average person, it felt like Rome was on the decline, and that the entire system was just
one wrong step away from complete collapse. Octavian was reckless to provoke this
conflict with Antony. If things tipped a certain direction, it could have been
the end of the whole experiment. But things didn’t tip in that direction,
and we’ll see why in a future video.
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