Zakir Khan | Guitar Wale Ladke | MannPasand

Second thing, I will crack some very bad jokes up top so that our co-ordination is maintained. It shouldn't be like I'm talking about one thing and you are expecting something totally different. I believe that there are three types of confident people. There are three types, of which the first one is where a person buys a guitar and says I am going to become a singer. Okay? Any singer in the house? What's your name, friend? -Sai. -Sorry? -Sai. -Sai. I hate singers. [laughter] [applause] Firstly,

they are very cool. It's true. I don't know if it's a fact and to hell with facts, I am going to talk from a jealous point of view. Honestly, I am very jealous. First of all there talent is very potable. Girls like a boy who sings. Yeah, if he plays the guitar and all, they are hooked to him. They are like, "Oh my God! Sai is so cool." Imagine you are at a house party. Now, what do you imagine doing in that party? You want to tell some of your stories. People meeting and talking to each other.

This should be the scene. I am in the balcony trying to get people hooked to my story which goes, once my aunt was traveling by bus. At one of the stops, she purchased cucumbers from a vendor. She gave a ₹20 note for ₹10 of cucumber but the vendor did not return ₹10. The bus started moving and my aunt held the cucumber vendor. The vendor wouldn't return her ₹10 and she wouldn't let go of the vendor. You can see what a difficult situation it is, right? My aunt was half out of the window. The bus

started and moving and so did the cucumber vendor. Then the conductor comes and says you will have to pay extra fare for him. You have onboarded another passenger. While I am telling this heartfelt story a girl will come and say, "Guys, come in. Sai is singing." [laughter] You will be like okay, let's go hear Sai sing. Here my aunt's life is in danger, still I am going inside to hear Sai sing. And inside, Sai is not ready to sing. Sai is farting tantrums there. [laughter] [crowd cheering] "Hey,

let it be. My throat is sore." I want to meet a singer whose throat is not sore. They are always sick. They are like, "My throat is not working." I'm like, "Come on, sing already. You are going to sing anyway." I know. I have experienced this a lot. I know you are going to sing in the next 10 minutes. After a while, he will ask, "Do you have a guitar by any chance?" Do you think this is Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy's studio? Are we Vishal Dadlani? So, finally a dust-filled guitar arrives. "Will this guita

r do, Sai?" Sai starts tuning the guitar. He's like, "This is not tuned." Yes, because it is not A. R. Rehman's studio! Just work with what you have, man! [imitating guitar tuning sound] [imitates clearing of throat] As soon as he holds the guitar in his hand, he gets possessed by John Mayer. This guy has reached California. But this guy is from Ghaziabad. [laughter] Suddenly, he has developed an accent. He has developed an accent. One who has always mispronounced 'park,' He goes, "This is one o

f my favourite songs. It is a Sufi track." I am like, "Oh, really. Sufi track?" "It's a Sufi track. It is one of my favourite tracks. It's from a Bollywood movie. I will just..." And he starts clearing his throat. [imitating humming] [singing a Bollywood song in a fake American accent] [applause] [crowd cheering] What? I am like, "Really? Is that how that song goes? Is that the right pronunciation?" [singing another Bollywood song in a loud voice] I'm like, "I will not tolerate this shouting and

all." So, anyways. So, the first type of confidence is where a person buys a guitar and says they are going to become a singer. The second level of confidence is the one in which a son sells his father's shop to start a startup. In that case, his father's shop gets sold and the startup also fails. The whole family starts doing a job. [applause] The third type of confidence is the one in which, and I believe it is the highest level of confidence. See, I had warned you earlier I am going to crack

some very bad jokes. Don't gross out, okay? The highest level of confident people are those where you are hanging out with someone in a mall, etc. you are sitting in a food court and talking to each other. You are talking about some important work stuff. And in that meeting, in a public place, that person, while maintaining eye contact with you, starts picking their nose. I don't think anyone can be more confident than this person. You start getting awkward. He is not breaking his eye contact.

You start looking away and say, "What is data after all? AI is data only. It is data. If it is not, then what is it? Everyone says data reading is machine learning. Right?" He's like, "You have to dig deep with data." [applause]