惡搞之家：克里斯養雞兩年半養出親兒子，格里芬一家重演絕命毒師

dad my favorite handlaid this crazy looking egg cheap cheap 话说当年元格镇犯罪率居高不下 连主持人都不得不随身带着 1911 防身 但身为家庭主妇 一直待在家里的路易斯却没觉得有多危 可事实上整个镇子都变得危险了不少 不说别的 就克里斯学校里的那些校霸来说 忙着欺负别人 都没空欺负克里斯 甚至是远程打电话 让克里斯自己欺负自己 可即便如此 路易斯就是不相信 他觉得元歌镇还是挺不错的 哪怕是镇子变得和以前不一样了 但他还是依然热爱着这里的一切 这安不安全的 可不是单凭路易斯想象就能定性 现在的元歌镇基本可以说是一片混乱 当街抢劫的这种先不提 甚至就连海洋公园里的海豹 都开始抢劫小鱼干了 而且他还抢过饲养员摸它肚子 凶恶的表情里还带着一丝丝的猥琐 当然了 还有更离谱的 one more push there we go it's a boy and he's got a gun ah e 咱们再说回格里芬这边 当他们外出回家后 发现家里整的就跟叙利亚战场似的 所有值钱的东西都被搜刮了个精光 现在就连路易斯都不得不承认 元格镇的治安

确实有点问题 一想到全家人要住在这种危险的地方 就让他感到不安 他必须得找一个安全的地方来抚养孩子 远离大城市的混乱和罪恶 皮特一听这话 严肃的说 交给他就行了 他会搞定一切的 然后转天上午就来到了郊外的农场 想买下农场主的产业 人家农场主也是不废话 直接开价 875000 美刀 一下就给皮特整蒙了 不过到了晚上后 皮特还是把买下农场的消息告诉了家人们 只不过路易斯好像挺生气的 这个死胖子居然又瞒着自己乱买东西 而且他为了买农场 竟然把现在的房子给卖了 差点把路易斯的大姨妈气得喷出来 hello are you ki to grow up in a wholesome place away from a big city 路易斯这下尴尬了 但看在其他人都支持皮特的份上 他也就不再苛求什么了 享受一下农场生活也没啥不好的 只不过这个消息对布莱恩来说 可不是什么好消息 当家人把搬家到农场的事情告诉他后 我 what a farm with big open field brian where you can just run and run and be free and no one w

ill ever hurt yet doesn't that sound wonderful brian are you ready to go to the nice farm no no you'll never take me alive okay i am at full candy corn right now 这里稍微说一下 布莱恩之所以这么害怕 是因为他就是在农场里被带离母亲身边的 因此会有一种莫名的恐惧 但不管咋说吧 格里芬一家还是来到了郊区的农场 皮特也很快就适应了农场主的生活 只不过他舍不得用拖拉机 家里的地全让梅根和克里斯里 主打的就是一个牛马生活 牛马魂来生还是牛马的 经过一段时间的生活后 路易斯发现了一个大问题 他们从来都没种过一棵农作物来卖 再加上皮特老师买一堆乱七八糟的东西 家里早就入不敷出了 如果不赶紧想办法赚钱的话 那银行就要把农场给回收拍卖了 眼瞅着马上要无家可归 布莱恩赶紧表示 务农并不简单 他需要超强的技能和专业的知识 还需要几代人的经验积累 才能经营好农场 dad my favorite handlate this crazy looking

egg cheap cheap 布莱恩的意思是 让他去州立大学好好学习一下专业知识 等他学成归来 说不定就可以拯救农场 既然没有更好的办法 那也只能按布莱恩说的尝试一下 然而布莱恩前脚刚走龙场 后脚就出事了 guys what's that over there oh my god it's a tornado and it's coming this way we got to run hang on guys you might just beat tasmanian devil come on into the storm cla 眼前的场景让格里芬一家大吃一惊 这里竟然是一个冰糖制作实验室 路易斯觉得应该马上报警处理 但皮特却让他伤 虽然这听上去很扯淡 但仔细想想 这个冰糖实验室就是他们发财的好机会 甚至可以趁机解决他们家的资金问题 拯救这个濒临倒闭的农场 可路易斯实在接受不了 贩卖冰糖这种既不道德又很危险的事情 come on we've always been risk tak remember when we did it in the bathroom at that

restaurant i can't believe we're actually going to do this yeah you go first and i'll go in a minute oh wow oh my god oh this is amazing you dirty girl you know i haven't left yet you sick core 最终路易斯在皮特的蛊惑下 他接受了他的建议 但只做一批就收手不干 把房贷还完就可以了 自从确定了工作内容后 皮特就变得格外紧张 有一点风吹草动就激动不已 而且为了送货的安全性 他还特意训练信鸽给他送货 信鸽把冰糖带给客户 然后再把客户的钱带回农场 甚至为了躲避监管 他们还让饺子去购买制作冰糖所需要的药品 这剧情连起来都够再拍一期绝命毒师了 就这样过了几周 布莱恩学成归来 当他兴致勃勃地打开门后 然后就看到了相当震惊的一幕 what the hell 布莱恩狗都傻了 这家人到底想要干什么 他才离开家多久啊 这群人就把这里搞成了冰糖工厂 还真尼玛是一群畜生 而且他们制作的冰糖已经开始危害 元格镇的居民 甚至就

连记者都深受其害 路易斯直到现在才意识到他们到底做了什么孽 所有流入元格镇的冰糖竟然全是他们生产 他们正在慢慢变成怪物 自己当初就不应该听信皮特的鬼话 这个死胖子的脑子就没有一天是正常 你先你先骂人 他必须回到元格镇那里才是他的最终归宿 如果有谁想跟他一起回去的 欢迎一起起同行 皮特此时依旧有些执迷不悟 他不想离开这个捡钱的地方 他再也不想过没钱的穷人生活 路易斯语重心长的告诉皮特 他们当初离开是因为元格镇的犯罪问题 但现在他们反倒成了问题的源头 看看他们的生活 看看他们的家庭 他都认不清他们自己了 现在是时候回到元格镇 重新做回格里芬一家 皮特本来还有些舍不得这 但是 there were a lot of rot viruin that house 格里芬一家最终回归原格镇 而且因为犯罪率又激增的原因 房价反而变得更便宜 很轻松就把房子给买了回来 ok 今天的故事就到这里 大家有什么想说的 可以点个关注 留言互动 爱你们哟 么么哒 hey are you guys in there peter i need a taste oh my god it's jodie sweet an

d quick everyone lie on the floor peter come on i've got marine maccormick with me she'll let you finish anywhere okay everyone hide upstairs daddy's gonna take care of this we now return to germany's favorite talk show dau codad what is this show i don't know it's just a german guy listing items and then declaring them good we'll come in where are we dance east goose sour cloud does is good the outer ban from from dis good does this good this film before an audience of the mentally feeble god i

wish i could get tickets to that show we interrupt this program to bring you a channel five news special report good evening i'm joyce kinney with this special report the latest police statistics have revealed a significant rising crime throughout cohog that's right choice and just to put it out there tom tucker is packing i drive the two thousand six infinity and i don't intend to lose it so come and get some punks an increase in crime that can't be right i haven't noticed anything like that y

ou're in the house fourteen hours a day what would you notice well i hate to admit lowest but over the last couple of years this town has changed a lot and not necessarily for the better yeah i mean the day i left the duty right in the middle of a cryin barrel came back forty five minutes later it was gone yeah even schools getting more dangerous the boys have been so busy they're outsourcing their bulliant to india okay do you see the back of your underwear in the mirror yes okay i want you to

pull it up as high as you can well i disagree with you guys i think cohog is still pretty great you know it's hard for me to take the things you say seriously when i know what's been in at mouthy yours look i realize cohogg isn't the small town it used to be but it's still very special to me it's my home yeah come on guys she's got died roots in this community as i know you love this town but nothing is ever as innocent as it seems add a boy open give me all your money okay okay you have a white

wallet yeah just like truman capoi who's truman capoi what a surprise the muggers never heard of truman capoi there's a library card in there use it and now let's meet our star give a warm cohk ocean land welcome to bo jungle all the fish in the bucket now not one fish at a time as a reward all of them okay okay take it easy okay the one thing you don't want to do is tell me to take it easy i do that thing where you rub my belly i really like that yeah now i'm going to balance the ball on your

face one more push there we go it's a boy and he's got a gun well you guys we did it we finally went to a restaurant without somebody yelling at us and then the rest of a place applaud in them oh my god we've been bglarized well we'll just have to get that seventeen dollar s insurance check and start over oh my god it's so creepy to think there were strangers in our house i've never felt so scared i have and now we wait oh no they took my gym shoes sorry glutes no blasting today they took my dir

ty rope that was tied in a nut they stole the chair i using this shower they stole on my pins i i don't have a lot of stuff shof a bitch they also stole my sense of wonder no oh this is horrible maybe you guys were right maybe our town has changed i know it's awful pretty soon guys are just gonna be showing their bonus to babies and stuff i bet it's sad to think that khk isn't safe for families anymore i mean all i ever wanted was to raise our children and a wholesome place far away from all the

crime and problems in the big city i'm reading your lewis i'm reading aloud and clear hi i'm peter griffin um i'm looking for a wholesome place for my family to live so i'd like to buy your farm all right well the go rate for my farm is eight hundred and seventy five thousand dollars u nobody called a head what or somebody somebody from fox was supposed to call ahead they usually take care of it and then i just go ahead and do stuff i didn't get no phone call hello oh yes yes that'll be fine ye

ah hey it's you know how i'm always buying things impulsively well that's gonna be very hard to do now that we're living on a farm what what are you talking about i'm a farm lois it's where vegetables live peter you went out and bought a farm without even talking to me about it well lois in my defence i have nothing to back up the beginning of this sentence i can't believe this and it's not like it's the first time you made a big family decision without consultant me yes i'd like to see your qui

etest doctor peter whyou even get the money to make that kind of purchase i sold the house and i did it on craigslist so i also made a dangerous friend what how could you sell the house spooner street is our home i mean i have three aprons let's say cohk what do you want me to do stall over hello as you were saying yourself how you want our kids to grow up in a wholesome place away from a big city i did say that and chris you've been telling me how you wanted to watch animals hump and other anim

als what might not be okay with it that's true and meg you yourself said lip glass unicorns channing tatum something something bulcrap you were listening the whole time don't you see you guys i did this for the family just think it as farm as our next great adventure like when we tried to invade the city of troy peanui don't think this is the right horse i am one hundred percent positive this is the right horse come on guys what do you say will you join me and eat eggs fresh out of a chickens bu

t yeah now i can be one of those filthy teams with sad eyes at a farmer's market wow with what's become a khawk maybe it is time to make a change i'm in dad me too all right let's do it hey what's going on well we've made a decision as a family brian we've decided to take you to a nice big farm upstate what a farm with big open fields brian where you can just run and run and be free and no one will ever hurt you doesn't that sound wonderful brian are you ready to go to the nice farm no no you'll

never take me alive okay i am at full candy corn right now here we are everyone the griffin family farm oh look at her brian frontier people i feel like those miners who first struck gold in san francisco oh my god we did it we struck gold this is amazing we're gonna be rich rich and gay come here here emmmm you know what are you doing well i was a big part of owner a farm is crossing a road very slowly with cows okay okay but now get yourself out there is you got it hey come on man i gotta get

to work and so do they sir hurry it up wait a second i'll get in line you hey i thought i told you kids to go plin the field but dad we've been pling all morning yeah i can't take anymore pling i can barely walk i know it seems like dirty work but chris you've got to spread that seed until you sack is empty and meg you got a clear away all that brush so he can plant it deep where it needs to be okay we'll keep at it but i think that hope is pretty much worn out well flip it over you can use bot

h sides pia is a guy standing out in the yacht oh yeah it's larry part of being in a farmer is having a best friend named larry who i spend huge amount of time with but never actually talked to oh you're the best friend and i ever had i've been with you such a long time you're my sunshine and i want you to know that my feelings are true i really love you peter i'm dying this is the last time i'll ever see you bye pea i've been running the numbers on this farm and we're in deep trouble we haven't

grown a single crop to sell and meanwhile you're spent in half of money down at the general store and the other half of the specific store you have almonds what kind of almonds marcona almonds from what region the basque region the basque region is pretty big north south southern basque how much should be john wpoint eight ounces sorry we only have point sixes u yeah hi do you have stuff yeah we have stuff and is it true that you've been spent in the farms money on gingham shirts you tie into a

not to expose your belly bought a couple well with all his debt and no income is no way we're gonna be able to keep up up bank payments peter if something doesn't change i'm afraid we're gonna lose this farm right just what i need on my conscience another failed business hi i'd like to rent the proposal hang on let me check the return slide i'm sorry it hasn't been returned yet i have a posted from the proposal you can look at you'll get most of the story huh they seem pretty mismatched there y

ou go look it's like i've been saying farming is very difficult when when when when did you say that farming takes incredible skill and knowledge and the sort of specialized experience that takes generations to acquire dad my favorite handlaid this crazy looking egg cheap cheap what's your point brian my point is that maybe i should go to the local state college and take some agriculture courses with a proper training maybe i can actually learn something that will save this farm wow brian that's

a great idea and hey maybe i could give the speech at a graduation i'm really good at that and so as i look out at your smiling faces filled with hope all i can think is you are completely screwed as martin luther king once said ouch i've been shut okay that's all my stuff i'm off to state tech egg central college tech is really too text in it the proudest day of a man's life is when his dog goes off to college i learn all i can and i'll see you guys soon oh he packed guitar what a douch guys w

hat's that over there oh my god it's a tornado and it's coming this way we gotta run my hang on guys you might just beat the tasmanian devil come on into the strong stella what is this place really dark down here what did you hear something no i just want you to stop talking wait i think i found the lights what is that oh sweet is some kind of lab hey maybe has one of those things that cost um um because that's important for science look at all this stuff burners plastic toping twelve cases of c

old medicine you guys i think this is a meth lab oh my god you mean like isn't d r u g s and those i l l e g a l what's going on what you guys talking about ah oh someone's getting cranki think he needs an n ap what's happening where are you taking me man i got to crack this code oh my god you guys there's a fully functional meth lab in our basement but we should clean this place up it's a meth brian all right you're at college we have to call the police well what we can hang all of us now i kno

w you freaked out but when you really stop and think about it this meth lab is our family's best chance to make meth and a lamb what are you talking about peter i'm talking about saving the farm don't you see this lamb is just what we need to get back on our feet now why peat dealan drugs is morally wrong not to mention incredibly dangerous come on we've always been risk takers remember when we did it in the bathroom at that restaurant i can't believe we're actually gonna do this yeah you go fir

st and i'll go in a minute oh wow oh my god oh this is amazing you dirty girl peter i haven't left yet you sick core look it just be temporary lowest just for a bit just till we get the farm back on its feet can we get our family back on its feet i don't know is we've always given our family whatever it needs well right now our family need just to sell illegal drugs to the tank top community what do you say all right peter we can make one mess and that's it and it's only because i don't see any

other way out of this thanks lewis how this is gonna work out great hey you guys gonna feed us anytime soon now sorry we're doing meth stuff now i'll leave that you just got clean everyone now that i'm a mess dealer i'm going to respond violently to outside noises that the rest of you don't hear dad i think that was just a cricket then what the hell was that that was just meeting that was just a cricket dad settled down there's no one out there peter you sure yeah yeah you're right is probably j

ust said did you guys walk the truck dead we don't even have the hell is going on out there come on out whoever you are i want to show my kids what it looks like what a bitch dies heat up there's no one there well maybe i should just fire a couple of rounds into the darkness don't hear those crickets no more i'm not gonna make it you hang in there you hear me listen to me i want you to take care of my kids i will and i want you to be there whenever there's a bad joke let them know let them know

she hope i didn't scare the cows i don't want to put them in a bad mood what's that dad it's my new miss distribution system i've trained this carry a pigeon to do all my deliveries for me fly away benjamin a perfect perfect now this is the money i opeter i want you to take it back to him you understand around in love with love of fire yes hello i'd like to buy four hundred blister packs of actifed or similar seudo affederman basically congestion why i have a cold a chew hang on let me check som

ething okay you're fine be right back well done stewthat could have gone really wrong like that kid rock concert oh my god help he's having a heart attack is anyone here a doctor wesomeone's a doctor here hey everyone i'm back hello what the hell hey brantom what the hell is going on nain nain she's working on a family project getting in some together time i have a crossbow chris a crossbow but i'm back from agricultural school and i might have the solution to our farming trouble i brought some

heirloom tomato seeds that's nice bran he is a new kind of meth you put in a peachole what what oh yeah we're met dealers now yeah you missed it my teeth came in and then fell out again i don't believe this you guys insane we riches what we are look at all that cash brian don't get none of that he wasn't here foreig well this is just great i turn my back for a month in this place turns into a drug in for your information it is also a drag queen hangout hey look our math is on the news good eveni

ng antom tucker our top story mesm femine is flooding into cold og in epidemic amounts and is believed to be originating from the nearby rural community of farmton farm to that name at the place we live i forgot to mention that earlier for more on the story we now go live to asian correspondent trisha tuan hour dm let us fine everything's fine go back to your own business thanks treasha she's doing fun things for me for money oh my god we're hin our own hometown all those drugs that are flooding

a cohg up from us oh yeah what if we are dealing so many drugs to cohog why is the cohg envelope so like this week yeah i say we go down there and talk to those people in kha no this is what i'm talking about meth has turned us in a monsters well let's take it easy now you know what this is my own fault for listen to you i forgot you don't even know your ass from a hole in the ground you said you said my ass why was where are you going i'm going back home to cohk where i belong if any of you wa

nt to come with me you're welcome to first of all you're sat in something green and it's on your butts and no one's gonna follow you and second no one's going to leave a place where there are tons of beakers for a place where there are zero beakers peter don't you see we left coo hug because of a crime problem but now we've become part of that problem yo what is this bitch tripping about look at our lives peter look at our family i don't recognize us anymore it's time to go back to spoon a stree

t and be the griffins again let's go peter let's go back to khawk but what about this farm and his house and the lab inside the house which is currently producing an incredibly volatile and explosive batch of thermal reactive capit there were a lot of rock wers in that house wow it's good to be back in our old house how do we get this place back by the way well luckily the value of this place plummeted because this is a methtown now you know i think the lesson here is that if your community has

problems you don't abandon it it's better to stay put and help fix those problems that's right lois because wherever you run to your problems have a funny way of finding you hey are you guys in there peter i need a taste oh my god it's jodie sweeten quick everyone lie on the floor peter come on i've got marine maccormick with me she'll let you finish anywhere okay everyone hide upstairs daddy's gonna take care of this