Thanks for tuning back in I'm Tommy Campbell still bald still in my basement and still laughing at an emergency alert going out for an earthquake 30 minutes after it happened. If Rudy Giuliani still cares about New York maybe he can donate one of the two watches he wears at a time to whoever was in charge of pushing out that beauty. Pro tip whenever there's an Emergency Alert this is an awesome opportunity to text your friend a few minutes later because you know they got that alert too.
Like hav
e you ever been in the room and everyone's getting the alert trust me this emoji and emergency alert will catch their eye in their notifications they will tap it it will expand and you can have whatever you like there.
Speaking of emergencies Lauren Boebert had emergency surgery for a blood clot this week after being diagnosed with May-Thurner syndrome which must have really confused her because it's April. The Bobo blood clot has many questioning her sympathy vote timing and conspiracy theorist
s are battling it out over the cause. But what this really did was draw attention to the speed and quality of care she received after voting against such treatment for others. I'll be having a laugh getting into her voting record and the reports that she was drunk at a Trump fundraiser. I mean, come on, being cut off for being too boozy at a trump fundraiser is like Pink Floyd ejecting fans for being too high. I mean, she must have been pretty up there. But in this boozy week of news, I'll also
dig into Ron DeSantis loosening wine laws and Kid Rock showing up in a Budweiser hat after boycotting the brand. Plus, there's fresh stupid from Mike Lindell and more, but first this. Who's the only person who can continue to allow us to buy gas -powered cars in 2032? Donald John Trump! coughing out of control One more quick thing. Yes, Glenn Rothman championing vehicles that spew exhaust and then nearly collapsing after a coughing fit. Maybe sucking on a tailpipe isn't the best solution. Rememb
er during the pandemic when nobody was driving and suddenly, places like LA had the Best Air Quality in the world and people were seeing mountains and monuments like never before. The world could be like that again, minus the pandemic if you want it to be. It is pouring MAGA tears. I've played in 35 countries for over two decades, but most days you'll find me here. Thanks for taking in this bald comedian's take on things. Please join the best subscribers on YouTube while I blast the latest in s
tupid and more. Lumpy My Pillow CEO Mike Lindell has been back at it with rotating co hosts until he finds a replacement for the irreplaceable Brannon. But like Brannon, Patrick uses commercials to eat and drink, and it carries over into the broadcast. I just love this he's doing his best to finish the steak sandwich in his mouth while eyeing the rest on his desk He's a little embarrassed by the whole thing But he knows just being on a Lindell show is embarrassing and fortunately not many people
are watching this Everyone knows I ran out and I've been full disclosure. We were out of things today Patrick and i was talking to these guys it was a news outlet and they
Actually, said uh, and And I said, you know what, I didn't stop asking for money until I ran out of money last summer. And, and, uh, You know, I run out money and I'm going, hey,
we got to finish saving our country. But I did run on a voice that I, I will keep talking. I won't keep talk. And they, you Know what? Nobody can ev
er accuse me of grifting. That's something the media has never done. You Know why? Because I'd be the worst grifter in history. I Didn't stop asking for money. Okay. The man never makes sense. Mike Lindell saying the media has never accused him of grifting is like Gordon Ramsay claiming he doesn't shout for the record. Love Ramsay, watch all the shows son loves it helps in the kitchen and will randomly yell " you donkey!" Lindel is a huge grifter. He begs for money while having a private jet and
a Mar -a -Lago membership held multiple events disguised as major things to shave our country. When there does vehicles promote his brand including one event
with a $5 million challenge that he refused to pay out. He's a major stockholder in the biotech company behind Oleander, his COVID cure that was actual poison. And don't forget, he was all in for mass and sold them at an extortionate price until Trump trashed them and he was stuck with a warehouse full of them. In fact, the same guy who ju
st said the media never calls him a grifter is on tape pushing back at the media for calling him the grifter. I see all the reports out today. Mike Lindell complains, I don t have any money amid my pillow woes. They call me a grifter, they're attacking my pillow, but I want to have a piece of mind. I can be traveling all over these states now in the next few days or next five days here. A piece of mind.
Buddy when it was Brains Day at the Minnesota Man Factory, you got a piece of mind and that's
it. Lauren Boebert underwent emergency surgery for a blood clot this week, meaning she actually had to call emergency services for something other than her husband being a jackass, or her Jeep wedged in a boulder after some wasted off -roading. Boebert's campaign posted a Facebook statement. Lauren Boeber was admitted to UC Health Medical Center of the Rockies in Loveland after experiencing severe swelling in her upper left leg. After undergoing a CT scan, doctors found an acute blood clot and
diagnosed her with May -Thurner syndrome, which is a rare condition that disrupts blood flow. An exact cause is unknown, but dehydration, travel, and extended periods of sitting have all been identified as potential factors in causing symptoms of May \-Thurner syndrome. Do lap dances count as sitting? The statement went on to note that doctors successfully removed the clot and inserted a stent. First off, it's wild that she went to a hospital when she insists all of her problems can be solved at
church. What happened to thoughts and prayers, Lauren? I guess actual actions are what save lives. This came at a good time for Boebert whose poll numbers have taken a larger beating than the gym sock under Mike Johnson's bed. Blood clots are very dangerous If a blood clot blocks the arteries leading to the part of the heart muscle It will cause a heart attack if it blocks an artery in the brain It would cause stroke in a statement released by Boeber. She noted fortunately I do not have a brain
or heart so I was never at risk of losing what I don't have But I'm glad my leg is not swollen as it's important to be able to fit my foot in my clear heels. Lauren got a CT scan and surgery immediately The average cost of this is fifteen to twenty thousand dollars with some as high as one hundred thousand if you were uninsured t his is a life -changing amount of money. Lauren Boebert voted against Medicare negotiating lower prescription prices for Colorado seniors She voted again the largest h
ealth care and benefits expansion in VA history She voted against lowering the cost of insulin for those with diabetes three times, voted against the Transplant Act reauthorizing health for cancer patients, and she voted for cuts to health centers serving Coloradans in rural areas. But her sympathy push was short, as is the case with MAGA, there's always more stupid around the corner. And according to a CNN report, sources have said Boebert was so drunk at a Trump fundraiser that she got cut off
. this wasn't her getting nuked
Now, on blue Hawaiians and Applebee's causing a stir while families were eating. This was at a Trump fundraiser. She was surrounded by the say whatever you want, do whatever you don't want after your feelings crowd. Like the level of rudeness you would have to achieve for a bunch of Trumpers to be bothered is hard to imagine for most people. But if you're open to getting handy in a crowded theater and have a history of shouting at I guess it's not tough to imagine
cops, Lauren being the one to have the tap shut off. The report notes, Lauren was trying to take pictures with Donald Trump and eventually his security details stepped in and asked her to stop it with the belligerent selfies. It's been a couple of decades now, but I was a bartender and a waiter. We didn't call them servers back then. And cutting off someone was never fun and not easy. They had to be really smashed for you to make that call, which ultimately would mean no tip as people aren't ex
actly excited for this to happen. And it could even lead to a bit of violence, usually with the ladies in my experience as a comedian with 25 years of shows around the world, a really hammered woman is one of the most challenging things you could deal with. I once had a girl throw up on her table and she refused to leave. Now, don't get me wrong, I've seen the drunk dudes more than enough times. But in my experience, usually one of their less wasted friends will help put out the flames. But when
you're throwing the brakes on Karen Smirnoff Ice, her friends will all turn on you and it will get nasty fast. Boebert's side has claimed that her drunkenness was just perception and that her boisterous and loud personality can sometimes be misconstrued. she was back at it speaking to
Well, a room full of people, okay, just a a room with a few people in it and as a performer you can see there's a stage here in the corner and her handlers decided not to use it, which is just silly, especially wh
en you're under five feet tall like Lauren. Also laughing at this massive clock that's either counting down so she can rap and get away from these weirdos, or letting her know it's five o' clock somewhere so he can hit the pub and get smashed. Kid Rock joined Laura Ingram, either unaware of his own wardrobe or as a paid stunt by the beer giant he spearheaded a boycott against. Man, we got, I didn't know what hat I was wearing. We got bigger targets I mean when you look at what uh what who just p
lanet fitness like what are they doing like Ben and Jerry's
uh I don't want to put any targets on people's back Target like I talked to dudes from Bud Light or Anheuser -Busch the CEO and people like man they messed up it's too bad they just won't say it like hey we messed a little bit you know whatever but that's not how they're cut And, you know what, I got my answer and I don't want to hurt people's jobs and stuff like that when they don t have any dog in the fight, but there's a whole lot mo
re companies we should be going after for sure. I dont want hurt peoples jobs as he pivots to Ben and Jerry's and Planet Fitness as if these two huge companies have no employees. He boycotted Budweiser, said it was banned from his tours and was later seen drinking a Bud Light. When the Bud Light hate cycle he helped fuel start to flame out
he moved on to the latest right -wing outrage being critical of Planet Fitness and to be honest the guy doesn't look like he's ever been to gym. Target for se
lling pride merch and Ben & Jerry's for making me eat a pint after that edible kicked in. Okay he actually hasn't singled out a specific thing he doesn t like about Ben & jerry's it's just their overall goodness that bothers him. Kid Rock loves Donald Trump because he is a fraud as well. They identify with each other, I see you man and together they can speak freely about their grifts. while Kid Rock is playing every man tough guy attempting to shoot up Cans he used to do Coors like commercials
and being the hype man for a calorie reduced lowered alcohol content beer while you're branding yourself An American badass is just ridiculous He was born Robert James Ritchie in Romeo, Michigan
where he grew up in this sprawling estate with an orchard stables for their horses and yes that's a tennis court. Blue collar poster boy. If you love what I do here and you can afford to help out, throw me a buck with the PayPal link in the pinned comment or drop me super thanks with this button. And ple
ase take two seconds after this video to follow me on Facebook and Instagram. These things are free and help the show grow. Thank you. Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill Thursday that will loosen the restrictions individuals have on purchasing wine. De Satin signed HB 583, which will allow for the sale of wine in glass containers of up to 15 liters. DeSantis said in a statement,
in Florida, we're always looking for ways to reduce regulation and improve our residents' quality of life. Are you, R
on? Because the six -week abortion thing is a heavy regulation on a woman's body, and an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy does not help someone's quality of their life? I remember getting a massive beer in a glass cowboy boot at a bar in Texas. So I guess with Ron's new bill, they can model a 15 liter container off his giant lifts or his hurricane rain boots. 15 liters? I mean, come on. The only person this excites is Judge Jeanine. I don't see the point in giant bottles. I'm mean half the fun is o
pening them. Popping a cork is like, ah, it's time to relax for a bit. Green light. Alex here. Still in the bunker with Marjorie again. Good dude. the Roomba broke down after
Well, trying to suck all the dirt up from Marjorie Zombie Jesus get up and we spent hours talking to The fella, you know, like the support center in the US -based call center. Give me a break I have no idea what he was saying and were just like, You know what? We are done buddy. We're done Okay. I found a broom in a garage
and to be honest, neither of us have really done like actual work
or cleaning in our lives. We have people for that. So he'd like go on the internet and find videos of how to use one. You know, we realized MTG was holding it upside down and I was trying to hand scoop the dirt into the bristles So thank goodness for the deep state Instagram and YouTube or this place would still look like a farm accident Which is also a nickname for Marjorie. Hey there farm accident. She's pretty gross The bunker
is tidy and i'm happy about that But I assure you my blonde meat swamp is not the least bit pleased
she has been at actual war all week with Mike Johnson, sending him a bunch of messages,
and using big league curse words in interviews, which is like super Christian and family values of her. And at the end of the day, like we all just need to unwind and just shake off all the stupid things we say. So I'll make us a nice romantic dinner. Me at Tthe Table with a charcoal grilled t -bone steak, yeah
, man food, and her on the cold tile floor with the nighty time scoop of grain -feed kibble and an oversized Ronda Satin bottle of Merlot. No glass. We just toss a plastic straw in there to own the libs. But even though I'm here and she's there, all roads lead to pound town and I try not to shout in my spare time, but it's challenging to get through to Marjorie. And I have to remind her that there is like zero point in unwinding if that means I am going to catch sight of a pair of feet
that loo
k like someone smashed a jar of expired pesto on Mike Johnson's Accountability Partners Battered Ham. the one with the hole in it. If Lauren Boebert can get a blood clot treated in a day, then why can't Marjorie put her fancy government health care to work on those perma blister heels crustier than little Caesars on a Friday night? Seriously, folks, just have them sort one toe. One toe, that's all I'm asking. Can Dr. Ronny Jackson or something give me a single digit that doesn't look like sellin
g wrapped baby carrot with a tapeworm because what is the rule, MTG? The socks stay on.
The socks stay on. Trump is winning most cases,
Actually, and all while still so far in the lead running for president, damn, he can do it all. MAGA TEARS. at least one thing was correct
Well, in this propagandist rant, namely it streamed from a basement. MAGA TEERS. Anyone with common sense needs to block channels like yours. MAGA Tears.
actual actions are what save Yes,
lives. This came at a good time for B
oebert, whose poll numbers have taken a larger beating than the gym sock under Mike Johnson's bed. Fortunately, I do not have a brain or a heart, so I was never at risk of losing what I don't have. But I'm glad my leg is not swollen. smashed a jar of expired pesto on Mike Johnson's Accountability Partners Battered Ham, you know the one..
If you saw the episode from earlier in the week you would understand where this ham came from. for Marjorie.
Farm accident, that's a name Hey there, farm accide
nt. She's pretty gross. For a blood clot this week after being... I am tongue -tied today. Totally romantic. You know,
I'm at the table with my charcoal grilled well -seasoned t -bone steak and she's on the cold tile floor with her nighty time scoop of grain -free kibble. Me at table with a charcoal -grilled t bone steak and her on the cold tile floor with her nighty time scoop of grain -free kibble. Thanks for watching. Please stick around and check out another one of my videos. Say hello in th
e comments. Find my stand -up on Spotify, streamed by millions, and add me on Facebook and Instagram. It all helps. Be cool. Be kind. Take care.
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